Breaking Chains: Beth’s Journey from Sexual Betrayal to God’s Freedom

Breaking Chains: Beth’s Journey from Sexual Betrayal to God’s Freedom

About Beth Brunk

Beth shares how God is restoring her from the pain of abuse, betrayal, and addiction in marriage. Through faith, daily healing work, and breaking generational strongholds, she’s stepping into freedom and abundance, giving all glory to the Lord.

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Introduction

Good, beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (& EVERYONE is Fascinating!), especially you.

I am enjoying an astoundingly abundant, thriving life. Who doesn’t want that? We are breaking chains today with Beth Brunk and her journey from sexual betrayal to abundant freedom. 

…BUT FIRST…

We’re going to offer the little 22-second mini vacation. We’re going to have a breathing exercise. We’re going to breathe in some calm for seven seconds, hold for four seconds, and then breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. So here, let’s have a be still moment. Here we go. Breathe in some calm. Hold. Relax, release. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

Put down those machines every so often and take a deep breath.

So Beth Brunk, my guest today, we know each other through Terri Lee Harrison and the BRI Talks movement speaker training, and have chatted a little bit, but today is going to be just honest and raw truth because there’s been some hurt in our world and in her world, you know, all of us have it. She’s an overcomer, and she is living the astoundingly abundant, thriving life. Really, that was on her; that’s a quote. I love it. So Beth, thank you so much for joining me today. I’m really excited to get into this whole thing. And I know you’re coming from Washington state. So let’s hear who you are in this world. And we’ll talk a little more then about what you do and how you serve and who you serve.

Okay. Well, thank you so much for having me, Charla. This is super fun to be here and to get to know you a little bit better, too. So thank you for having me. Well, yes, I come from Washington State. I have lived here for almost 25 years. This month it is 25 years, longer than where I grew up. I grew up in the Midwest. And when I got married, I moved to Washington, and over the years, many times, I said it would take an act of God to get me to move back to the Midwest. And one of those reasons is because all of my family is now out here. I have one sister and my parents, and they’re all out here in Washington now. And the other reason is it’s hot and humid back there. Yeah, it’s hot in Washington, but we don’t have the humidity. So I like to take a shower and get out and not feel like I need to immediately get back in.

Well, I was born and raised in Houston, so you can’t even touch the humidity thing here, you know. That’s for sure, but it keeps you young, you know. Oh, does it? That moisture? Yeah, it’s supposed to. Anyway, so tell, you know, you, when we met and we talked a little bit and I found out, you know, you’re, you’re passionate about helping primarily women get over the sexual betrayal and/or abusive relationships and find their value again, right? Tell us how you do that. Tell us all about that.

Well, I do that first and foremost with scripture. I know that there has been a lot of people that have been abused with scripture. Scripture has been twisted and made to fit man’s logic and man’s ideologies. But when you really get to the heart of scripture, It’s healing. And that’s what I do is I take women back to scripture. And we look at how boundaries and priorities are scriptural. We look at how self-care is scriptural. We look at what our worth is in the Messiah, and we get that deepened within ourselves because when you’ve been in an abusive relationship or been betrayed, there is often a lack of self-confidence; it’s been torn down. You have been told that you’re not enough. 

You don’t look good enough. You’re not thin enough. You might not have enough curves. So there’s a lot of, a lot of our self-worth is devalued and torn down. So getting back into the word and knowing who we are through the Messiah is extremely important as well as journaling. Journaling is also biblical. Think about the Psalms and David, like we’re reading David’s journal. We get a look into another man’s heart and it’s his journal that’s been canonized, right? So those are just a few ways that I have a program that we go through these things. It’s 12 weeks and it’s phenomenal.

Well, that’s phenomenal, sounds good. You know, I just had a guest a couple of weeks ago, Church Hurt. You know, she’s very into the Church Hurt piece. And, you know, most religions, I’ll just say, have been very manipulated by man. And my God’s better than your God. And, you know, you can’t, you know, all the rules and regulations. God doesn’t have a box. Religion is, you know, puts God in a box. many cases. So it’s not about the relationship. And I’m, you know, if you don’t have a relationship with God or with Jesus or the Holy Spirit and the Holy, all three of them, you know, then you have your limited and my show is not about religion. 

It’s not a Christian show. It’s not about any of that. But we talk about our faith a whole lot because that’s who I am. You know, who I am is bold faith, no fear and who I am. is wanting to clarify and help people through that church hurt. I mean, my family was definitely hurt in the church. And then you get into a marriage and you’re told that, I mean, Divorce is the only unforgivable sin when I was growing up and my parents got divorced. And so, you know, it’s just not true. And we’ve, we’ve gotten, we’ve got to understand that that, and so that that is, there are options, there are healings like you just described.

Right. Well, and we have to understand, too, because I was raised in a fellowship called the Old German Baptist Brethren Church. And you can look that up on Wikipedia, and it shows pictures, and it goes through their faith and what they believe in everything. And so just a little bit about that. A lot of times, the women are mistaken for being Amish because they wear a white covering on their heads that’s similar to the Amish. It’s not exactly like the Amish. They wear cape dresses. So I grew up that way. That’s how I grew up. And I was a member of that for almost 11, almost 12 years before I left. And in that fellowship, divorce is not permitted. You can separate, and neither of you can remarry. If you get divorced, you cannot remarry. 

And so if you remarry, then you’re out of the church. And so for me, I had to work through all the shame of I’m going to get divorced and I’m the one who pursued the divorce. I’m just going to put that out there. I am the one I had to work through all of this. And thankfully, my mother is still part of that fellowship. But thankfully, my family was extremely and still is extremely supportive of me. Because they saw how I changed after I got married. They saw how I was no longer present. I was like, zone out, I was just surviving in

And so, you were married 23 years, right? I was married for 23 years. Yeah, that’s a long time to be in an unhappy space. And yeah, I can relate.

Now, in those 23 years, we were separated twice. And we were separated for five years before we were divorced. So the first time we were separated for about five months, he came home. And then the second time I told him when I need you to move out again, because he had choked one of our children to the point of blackout. And I said, we are all walking on eggshells. No one’s sleeping. Well, you need to move out. We’re all terrified. And you are not coming home until you have gotten significant help. And he never moved back home before the divorce.

Well, good for you for finally standing up. I tend to say this on my show quite a bit, bullies are victims too. I mean, there’s no doubt that he was victimized as a youth at the least. I’m guessing, and typically they’re victims too. That’s no excuse. My little tiny book, Candy Bar Hugs, it doesn’t take much to make a difference. I say this, it’s quoted, I quote out of there all the time, unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, not unconditional boundaries. We can not, you know, just take the, take abuse and, someone else’s anger and take it on and not take our, you know, ascribe to our boundaries. We’ve got to start standing up for ourselves in certain situations, right?

Right. We were both part of the Old German Baptist when we got married. So we both had this teaching, training, and indoctrination. I mean, we were deeply indoctrinated that divorce is wrong. And along with that was that the wife is to be submissive to the husband and he is the head of the home. And, you know, all of that, it just creates this perfect for me. And I know a lot of others as well, but I’m going to speak for myself. It just created this perfect storm of well, now I’m married, my wedding night, the next morning after my wedding night, I’m married and I’m stuck forever. I can never leave. What have I done? while I’m trying to choke down food past this lump in my throat, fighting back tears and feeling like I’m stuck. I can never be free of this.

I’m guessing you’re alluding to your wedding night, your marriage, the first night that the letdown, I feel like something I read a long time ago in your stuff. Well, let down doesn’t quite, that’s not quite strong enough. You can just say what you need to say. Okay. And you know, so when you talk about it, because other people have felt the same way.

Well, I did not know that he was a pornography addict when I married him. And so our wedding night was literally, he did his thing, rolled over and went to sleep. There was no exploration. There was no fun. There was no, nothing that I had envisioned a wedding night being. It was just, he did his thing. I was there for his pleasure. And then he rolled over and he went to sleep. And I laid there for a long time, like, staring at the ceiling, wondering what just happened. And then the next morning at breakfast, literally I was fighting back tears and trying to swallow food past a lump in my throat. I’m thinking I’m stuck. I can never be free of this because that’s how we were raised.

 What a burden.

Yes. But you know, there’s this saying, but God. Yes, I love that. But God. So in 2004, thereabouts, I started realizing some different things in the Bible and so started kind of practicing my faith a little bit differently. And we left in 2007 and started to study divorce. What does the Bible actually say about divorce? And I came to believe that it’s not divorce that Yahweh hates. It is the abuse that leads to divorce, the abuse or the infidelity, the adultery that leads to divorce. That’s what he hates. It’s not the divorce itself because He has divorced himself. He divorced Israel, right? So how can he hate divorce and as our example, say you can’t ever be divorced? because he gave Israel a bill of divorcement and he sent her away. So I was like, wait a minute, this doesn’t all add up. 

Something’s been twisted somewhere. And I came to believe that divorce is okay. I also came to believe remarriage is okay. But I clung to the idea, and this was very reinforced by my former spouse, that we could have a story of restoration. And he would tell me, oh yeah, I’m getting this under control. I’m no longer using. And I would believe him because I didn’t check on him. I didn’t check up. Like I wasn’t scrolling through his phone or going through his computer. I was believing him. And I do not, I am not an advocate for going through his phone or his computer or a briefcase or anything else. Just don’t do it. Save yourself that misery.

 Yeah. I believe you said, you know, you, you know, in your gut, whether something’s right or not. Right. And listening to your instinct, your gut, your inner core, the God voice inside of you, you know, in your knower that things aren’t right. Right. So that’s, that’s where we, you know, sounds like you’ve 23 years is a long time to put up with all that. Right. But it’s so it’s, But how did you handle all that? I mean, how many kids did you have?

I have five children. In the first six years of our marriage, we had a child die from a reaction to antibiotics. Um, she was almost three years old, and we were on our way out of the Old German Baptist Fellowship when she got sick, and we waited a year after her death before we made any major decisions, such as leaving the fellowship. And so there was a lot of upheaval in the early, early years of the marriage beyond the abuse. And so Even in the early years of the marriage, though, I knew, of course, when you’ve been, and I hesitate to say this because it’s on YouTube, but when you’ve been r***d, you know something’s not right, especially when it’s within your marriage from the person that is supposed to love you. That’s just a given, you know, something’s not right. And so in the early years, I knew something wasn’t right, because that was happening.

 But some people, I’m guessing some people would not think, if you’re married, then how can it be that and we try to avoid that word, of course, but how could it be that if, if you’re married, right?

 So, but it is, there’s actually a term marital, and it is actually in some states, I don’t know how many states, I’ve not done the research on this, but in some states it is prosecutable. So it’s a very serious, it’s not, and to someone that is in, so scripture was twisted against me. Well, your body is actually mine. So he took Paul’s words and he twisted it and said, well, Paul says that the wife’s body is not her own, but it’s her husband’s, and the husband’s body is not his own, but it’s the wife’s. And it’s like, yeah, well, what can a wife do to a husband? Really? Potentially, there could be something done, but more than likely not. It’s much easier for a man to do it to a woman. And so scripture was twisted against me, but then that’s not what Paul means. Paul does not mean that it’s okay to just take from your wife what you want. 

That is not his purpose in saying those words. And to go even further, Peter talks about loving your wife as the Messiah loves the church. and loving your wife as you love your own body. Because if you love yourself, then you can love others. And so, you know, I just started to put all this together. Father started to give me this and put it all together. And I was like, No, this is not right. And there were other things going on in my home, I’m not going to go into with my children. But, you know, I just started to put all this together and be like, this is not right. especially, no, I asked him to move out for the first time when we had been married for 15 years. One morning I woke up, I looked at him and I said, are you still using pornography? And he’s got really, really quiet. And finally he said, yes. And I said, okay, you need to move out. This cannot continue. We have two boys. We have one girl still living, two girls, and this, I see this affecting my children. Furthermore, it’s an open door for the enemy to come into our home. It’s like opening the door and saying, Oh, hi, come on in. You’re welcomed here. 

I was like, this can’t go on. It’s got to change. But I’d had no support. No one in our fellowship supported me. And in fact, I was told that I was wrong, that he needed to be in the home for the children, and that I was hurting the fellowship because he wasn’t coming, because we weren’t attending together, because I knew that if we attended together, then he would put his arm around me or try and hold my hand and act like everything was okay, even though I had put a boundary and set a boundary that that was not okay. I was not having that. So I just didn’t attend with him. The children would go with him one week, they would go with me the next week. And so that’s a little bit how I handled it, some different ways.

 Yeah. And have your children, this is, you know, have they been okay? Have they, you know, it’s such a tough situation in any home. And, you know, we don’t want it to be public. We don’t want, we, you know, we do want things to appear okay in most, in a lot of cases, right? Right. It’s less, you know, what are we going to, you know, it’s icky. People start gossiping and gossip is a sin too. I don’t like it.

 There’s that as well as so many men in the church use pornography that they don’t want to face it with someone else. I’m just going to be really bold.

 I believe that with everything and me that it’s either that or it seems that A lot of people go into ministry or the religion just to absolve, you know, their sins that they know they’re doing, but it’s, you know, I mean, this goes back to when I was a flight attendant in the late over in Rio, the most sinful city with the Cristo over it. And I was like, huh. Well, the mafia is Catholic. So, you know, you can do all kinds of wrong as long as you get to confession or whatever. I mean, that’s just some of the mindset that I was getting going, wow, something’s not right here in a lot of ways.

 Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And there’s been studies and polls done asking the men in the church, and it’s something like 78% of men in the church are using pornography. It’s a really sad number.

 It’s really bad. And they say you can’t recover from that, but I know you can. I have friends who certainly have. Yes, I do too. Yeah. So it’s a journey and just like any addiction or any problem, it takes a lot of discipline and practice, but support groups and all that.

So, as far as my children, my oldest is 24, and she actually ran away from home at 17 and then did not talk to me for two and a half years. But I have been able to rebuild relationship with her. We’re in relationship talk several times a week, mostly via text, but sometimes she calls, or I call her. And then my oldest son was told that the marriage falling apart was all my fault. His father had done nothing. And he didn’t talk to me for a year and a half. But again, this is part of my thriving, abundant life. I have been able to, with consistency, rebuild relationship with him. And it’s not where I want it to be, but he’s a 19-year-old boy, so I have to have some grace there, right? 

But he does talk to me. He does. He will send me pictures or text me first without me texting him. He’ll just send me things. And if I say, I love you, like send him a text and say, I love you. He’ll set, he’ll text back saying, I love you. He’ll hug me when he sees me. He’ll say, I love you in front of his friends. You know, I am very blessed. That’s a lot. Yeah.

Yeah.

I am very, very blessed. He is making choices that are harmful and I don’t agree with, but I also I speak what I can into his life. I definitely pray for him. I definitely do spiritual warfare on his behalf. But no, I can’t force him to do anything at 19 years old. So I just continue to pray for him and to speak into his life when I see him and have the opportunity. My second son is 15, and he is actually at a youth ranch for boys who are troubled because we’ve had some major behavioural issues. And so he is there for 18 months. He’s been there for almost a year, so he still has another six months to go. Doing really well. And then my 12-year-old daughter has been through therapy, and she’s doing really well. I tend to get discouraged because of where my children are, because I know they’ve made a lot of choices coming from their own childhood trauma. And that I’ve had to deal with. And still, even just this week, I’m going to be honest, just this week, I was dealing with guilt for my choices that led them to make the choices that they’re making. So thankfully, our father is gracious and merciful. And my children have been very gracious and merciful as well.

 It’s, you know, life is not, I said years and years ago, I was like, you know, Life is not easy. There’s stuff going on, but why do relationships have to be so hard? That’s going to be my first question. Why are relationships so hard? Why don’t we just love like you love? He gave us that ability, the love. I mean, he loves us unconditionally. He loves us if we’re in the gutter, if we’re a murderer, or if we’re a saint. If he is love, he can’t be not love. When, you know, and we were, I think, I think that the back in the early days, so Jesus was, you know, when Jesus says we can do what he did and even more, and even more, John 14, 12, you can do what Jesus did and even more. Most people, I was never taught that. And most of us had no clue, have no clue even that we can do anything, pretty much. That covers a lot. And I believe in the early days of the church when they were trying to, you know, they couldn’t, they, those in power, could not control the early Christians because they’re like If I die, I’m with Jesus. 

I mean, it’s just like there was no repercussion that they really cared about because they could overcome it. And so I just think it’s kind of interesting to think about that. So they started all these rules and regulations and putting God in a box, and you can’t do this, and you can’t do that, and you can’t rule, rule, rule, rule, rule. If you, everybody just comes from this place of love, of unconditional love, love, love. And I, in my little book, I quoted earlier, you know, and the harder people are to love the more they need it. So there’s that, but not that, doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. Right. And we can bless someone that we just may be blessed, may be blessed, may be blessed, go live your life, but we don’t have to. you know, be part of that.

 And you know what I’ve discovered, Charla? Boundaries are love. I mean, if we think about parenting, we give our children boundaries because we love them. Right? We have this boundary around our wood stove. Don’t touch the wood stove. It’s hot. That’s a boundary, especially if we put a gate up around it. That’s a boundary. And it’s because we love our children and we don’t want them to get hurt. Makes perfect sense, absolutely. So yeah. When I set a boundary for myself, it’s because I’m loving myself, but it’s also because I’m loving the other person and letting them know that it’s not okay for them to behave that way. And it’s not okay for them to treat me that way. And so this is my boundary and my, I’m doing this with love, hoping you’ll change your behavior because I’ve put this boundary up.

 You know, there’s so much in our world. I’ll say this. I am outrageously optimistic. God has already won. There’s all this chaos is going on, but I don’t live in any fear around any of that.

 just outrageously optimistic. It’s getting better, not worse. And when you look, you know, when you, if you just look at, if you listen to the news, you wouldn’t think that, but I don’t. So, but, uh, I think that we’ve got, you’ve got, um, a capability. So how, how do people find you? Who let’s spell your name. Let’s spell your website. Let’s get people to know who you are, how to find you and what they can do perhaps to, uh, um, you know, lighten their load or, or create some boundaries.

 Yes. So I’m on Instagram and Facebook, Beth Brunk coaching, Beth B E T H Brunk, B R U N K coaching, C O A C H I N G. And, um, my website is bethbrunk.com. So just my name, bethbrunk.com. And you can also email me at coach at bethbrunk.com.

 Okay, that’s great. You know, so, Beth, B-R-U-N-K, and I tried to put a C in it a couple times, so there’s no C. No C. No C in there. There are Bronx that are probably related that spell it with a C, but mine is not spelled that way. Got it. Well, that’s great. You know, so now I want people to know how to find you, but I’m going to just take a mini moment. If you don’t mind, let’s take a little tiny break here. I’m going to take a mini moment to talk about something that is a very close to my heart, which is my Zenzino oil. 

And we’re going to stick a commercial in here right now. And we’ll be right back with Beth Brunk. Well, this charlaanderson.com slash Zinzino, Z-I-N-Z-I-N-O, charlaanderson.com/Zinzino, that little, one little shot of, of omega oil, one second a day will reduce your inflammation and get your omegas back in balance. So cheers. Ah, love that. I’m gonna also mention something that is fairly new to me, but I am very excited about something called Texit coin. Texit coin, it’s the future of honest money. So reach out to Charla and ask about Texit coin, T-E-X-I-T coin. It’s a Texas-based crypto that is honest money. Love it so much. Okay. Back with Brett, Beth. 

So here we go. I’m new to this, adding these little commercials in here. So it’s kind of a fun and interesting to see how it flows. Not always that great. So in your, you’re talking about taking people through scripture and what you mentioned the verse that I think is most, one of the most misunderstood verses in the Bible is like, wives submit to your husband, you know, And so often the other side of that is just ignored or disappeared, right? So you wanna comment on that. Don’t you think that that is one of the verses that’s been really abused by primarily the men leaders in our churches?

 Yes, yes. So if we go back to the garden where Adam and Eve where Adam was told not to eat the fruit of the tree of the good and evil and he didn’t tell Eve that and so Eve told the serpent we’re not to even look at it because Adam didn’t tell her exactly what Yahweh had said. The enemy knows if he can bind women He has the world. Because we as mothers, we nurture. We love, we fight, that whole mama bear thing, we fight for our children. And when we learn spiritual warfare, we are going to go to battle against him as many times a day as we need to, every single day for our children and for our families. And I believe that verse has been twisted by the enemy to keep women in bondage. and unempowered, because if we’re empowered, we are movers and shakers of the spiritual realm.

 And Katie, bar the door on that because, yeah, I love the mama bear thing. But so one of your favorite verse, right? And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love him and who are called according to his purpose, which is Romans 8, 28. So all this, this is how, you know, what about forgiveness? What about the challenging pieces to get you to understand that even going through everything you went through, it has brought you to where you are right now. It has brought you to living an abundant, thriving, exciting life on a daily basis, right? Regardless of all the, you know, your kids’ trauma and all that kind of stuff, you get to choose because it’s a choice. How you live today is a choice, in spite of your circumstances. Joy is a choice. You know, being happy is a choice. You are not your circumstances. So is that how you take that verse in a way?

 Yes, it is. But also, one day, Father gave me this vision of Romans 828. And if you’ve ever been to a play, you know that out on the front stage, the play is happening. You see the props, you see the people you see, and you hear what’s happening. That’s our life. We’re out on the front stage. We’re doing our life. Props are being here and props are there. And we’re just doing our life, right? We’re living. But behind the stage of a play, there are props being moved around. There are things being gotten ready for the next scene of that play. And I think of Romans 8.28 that way. So we’re out there on our stage of our life and we’re living, but behind the curtain, behind the scenes where we can’t see what’s going on, and we might often be on our face begging, Yahweh, just show me the next step. Just show me what’s next. Just show me how to do this. But behind the scenes, he’s moving props and people and things into place for the next scene of our life. Nothing takes him by surprise. He knows how each person is going to behave and the things they’re going to do and say. 

So he knows that when he puts something in place, that this is going to happen and it’s going to change something else within that life. So he’s moving things around back there behind the scenes so that when it finally comes that part of our life, it’s for a good purpose. There’s good that comes from it. So that’s how I like to view Romans 8, 28, that he’s working all things together for our good. He’s behind the scenes, moving things around, knowing what others are going to do and say and how they’re going to behave, but he’s working things in our lives. Those things that were meant for harm and for bad and other people’s choices, he can bring forth good, work things to the good for us. And I saw that in my own life and I know that I’ve saw in others lives and others have saw in their own lives. It’s just, it’s a Bible promise. You can’t not see it.

 I love, love, love that analogy. That is, that’s excellent because we’re just doing what we do. We’re busy. We’re, you know, and, and barely can take a breath sometimes just to get through. And then, but getting a sense that you know, yeah, something is bringing us through. And most of us, if we stop and look back, we will see, oh, I learned, this is what I learned from that, or I am this much stronger because of that, or whatever, and not get, you know, bogged down and wallow in the misery and just go, Hmm, what can I, what am I learning today? What am I learning today? How can I, it’ll be fun to see what happens in the, in my future when this is past, you know, so, you know, there’s an optimism that you can attach to that when you know that it’s not, this too shall pass, right? That’s another verse, this too shall pass. And that’s a promise too.

 Right. Well, just like a play, they don’t stay on the same scene the entire play. So our lives don’t stay on the same scene our entire lives. Things are constantly changing. You know, maybe you go to town and you’re feeling very sad and you’re feeling discouraged by whatever circumstances are in your life. but you’re going to the grocery, you have to go to the grocery, there’s nothing in the refrigerator, in the cupboards, so you have to go and you’re at the grocery and another woman says to you, hey, I really like your earrings. And she smiles at you beautifully and you’re just like, oh, I needed that. What a blessing that was to me. So you can look back at those kinds of things and be like, he was moving her to intersect with me at just that right time. behind the scenes, he was doing that at just that right time to intersect with her. It’s just, I love that he gave me that analogy. It’s just so beautiful. It’s a beautiful way to be able to think about that verse.

 I love it. That’s awesome. So, and you know, and you made the decision to put on earrings, right? I mean, so all of those little things. Yes, exactly. It’s all working together. So that I think that’s extraordinary. So that’s so fun. So who are your clients? How do they find you, not just physically, but why are they looking for you? What is their, I mean, I understand why they’re looking for something, but you’re in Washington, so I guess you do your course. What’s the name of that course again, the 12 weeks?

 It is Betrayed, But Not Broken, A Survival Guide for Wives. I get my tongue to work correctly.

 Survival guide for wives, will it be, so does it, that kind of implies that they’re still married. Do you work with people on both sides of the fence there?

 Yes. Yes. So, um, I work with women at this point. I’m not, I don’t work with men, even though I know there have been men who have been sexually betrayed, just like I have been. Um, that’s not who father wants me to minister to. So I work with the women and they, they are the women like me that are just in survival mode and they’re just, they’re like, sloshing through mud every day and it’s thick and it’s heavy and they don’t see color like they look around and they see color but it’s muted and it’s dark and they just feel so heavy and alone. You know, you mentioned earlier that this is something that we don’t like to talk about. I didn’t talk about this. When I finally started talking, people were shocked because I had made everything look so good that people couldn’t believe that this is what my family had been dealing with for 15 years. 

So we do, we keep it quiet, especially because so many women I talk to, when they do start, when they have opened up and shared with someone, they’re victim shamed. Well, if you gave him more sex, well, if you lost weight, well, if you didn’t have gray hair, well, if you didn’t have wrinkles, well, if you were whatever, whatever, whatever, they’re victim shamed. The biggest one is if you just gave him more sex, that doesn’t fix a problem like that. So I want women to know they’re not alone. There are others of us out here who have been through that, and we have truly been through it, and we are now on the other side, and we are no longer in survival mode. We are able to feel joy every day. We are able to walk freely. We’re no longer sloshing through the mud and the muck. We are able to walk freely. We laugh again. I didn’t laugh for years. We laugh again. We see color again. Like, really, the sky really is just gorgeous blue. Like, we can see that again. And I want them to know, too, that they have value and worth in the Messiah, and that’s where they need to be finding their worth is in the Messiah.

 Absolutely. So finding their worth and realizing they’re not alone. That’s, I think this is a huge piece to it. Just knowing that others, I remember going, what have I done? What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? What have I done for, you know, a couple of years, right. And, or more. And just a little bit and just walking, just trying to get through. You’re not alone, that’s for sure. So you’re finding these people. And your website is bethbrunk.com, but when they’re searching, you know, how are they finding you on Facebook, Instagram?

 Yes, people are finding me on there too. And, if you search Christian life coach, Beth Brunk, you know, my website’s going to come up, or Christian life coach for abuse or sexual betrayal trauma. That’s my website will come up. I’m using SEO. So,

 And it’s such a positive, bright place to land. So it does offer hope, your website, bethbrook.com, B-R-U-N-K. So I’m grateful for that optimism, right? The light. When I leave the house, it’s like, let my light shine. Just let me be the light. People are attracted You know, I make friends in the grocery store, right? So just because it’s, when you walk in that confidence, the confidence of the joy and that you’re here for more than just to survive. You’re here to thrive and to serve others to help them thrive as well.

 Well, you know, the Messiah says that he came to give us life and he came to give us life abundant. And so many of us are not living in an abundant life.

 No. And that was what, um, I, when I add the quote, I think I got it off your website as I am enjoying an astoundingly abundant thriving life. Right. It’s off my website. Yep. Uh-huh. And joy. My name means to joy. Joy is a choice that you get to live in that even in the worst of circumstances. when even if you are still in those abusive moment and marriages, you know, whatever it is, you get to choose and almost everything is choice. We should also often feel like we have no choice, but that’s rarely the case. You know, we can use the very least we can choose to pray or choose our attitude and to know that you know, the plan got, you know, it’s like, I don’t like my circumstances or I just had a situation but it’s, I deal with what’s so, I like to call, I just call it, you know, what so is where we are right now, right? This is the only place we have to be right this second and everything in your past and my past is orchestrated for us to have this moment in time. 

And so when you just go, this is what, so if you don’t really like it, then I say this a lot in my, my messages, you know, you can’t change how you got there, but you can change the next step or the next step, you know, and start making a different choice or a different decision to move in a different direction or shift an attitude or whatever it happens to be. So I’m very grateful for your work that you’ve got something that everyone, not everyone, so there’s a lot of really great people, great guys, great humans out here on in the earth just trying to make a difference and do the right thing and serve and You know, it’s our job, your job, and mine is to encourage people, encourage them, encourage others to just know that you’re, this is the way I say it, Austin, you’re perfect. Right this second, whoever’s listening, you are perfect exactly who and where you are right this second. Right this second, you are perfect in God’s eyes. 

You can’t do anything to be loved more or less by God. God is love. He loves you. And I love you. I mean, I think, Beth, we walk in this idea that love is the answer. It really is. And so, you know, when you when you understand that you are loved and there’s nothing you can do, right this second to do, to be loved any more or less and start recognizing and receiving that grace. That’s a grace, the grace of mercy that you, that God don’t make junk. Right. So we have been. We have been indoctrinated that things are, you know, certain ways and all that, like you, you certainly where I was too indoctrinated with, with man-made beliefs. But we don’t have to stay there. No, we got some solutions and we’re encouraged, you know, reach out to either one of us because if at the very, you know, we want you to be know that you’re loved and feel loved. 

And, and, and when I say that has, you know, sex is a beautiful thing in the right circumstances. And I, and I, I think that the disappointment you felt on their wedding night, A lot of people may be able to relate to that, but what a sad moment when you have this anticipation of this beautiful life. And I think a lot of people felt a disappointment if it wasn’t on wedding night, there’s been plenty of opportunities over the years that may have felt that. Just, right? Yeah. Well, we’re winding down here. What else would you like to share with your listeners and people that may find us here?

 Well, you said, God doesn’t make junk. And I have often said, God doesn’t make trash. Everyone has value and worth, whether they know it or not. So I would like to say to the listeners, you have worth, you have value. And if you don’t know what that is, I suggest digging into the words of the Messiah and getting them really deep within yourself so that no one can take that away from you again. Because he is very clear at how much we are loved and who we are to him and who we will be. and it is beautiful and it will completely change your life.

 That is beautiful and absolutely just, you know. know that you, I just want people to know that they are loved. And I think that the self-worth, the self, the beat down, the self-worth, the negative influence that we’ve got from media, especially probably, and then our, you know, friends, family, I, you know, nobody is perfect out here. None of us, not one of us. And, and we, you know, are you perfect or am I perfect? No. Do we make mistakes? Absolutely. All the time. But do we give, we know that we are forgiven. We know that we have grace and we know that we can, you know, just learn to love a little more every single day. Yes. And when you get, and I would, I would suggest that perhaps there’s so many people walking around waiting to be offended, a spirit of offense, whatever I’m, why I’m saying this right now, 

I don’t know, but the spirit of offense, you know, release that, just release that. You don’t have to. be offended by anything. You can just turn the, you know, just let it bounce off, reflect back to them if somebody’s not being kind, right? So that’s just one of my lessons I mentioned quite a bit. You know, we don’t have the spirit. I do believe it’s an evil spirit that everybody’s kind of waiting to be offended and It’s just, it’s, it’s exhausting. I can’t even imagine being offended by everything. And I was like, stop it. Yes. Anyway, that’s not where I had no idea where the, why that came out at this moment, but we’re about to find a, so we did end up on, you are loved exactly who and where you are right now. And if you don’t feel it. Let’s, you know, just reach out, you know, say. 

It all starts with gratitude, by the way, just thank you, thank you, thank you that I have this moment in time right now to take a breath, because if you can take a breath, you have been provided for 100% of the breaths of your life. You can take a breath until you can’t. You’ve been provided for one way or the other. So if you, if you don’t like it where you are exactly, then take a deep breath. envision something a little different, a little better, and Ask, believe, expect, receive. And I believe that God is working in warp speed to bring his kingdom together, his people together. Yes. Right. 

Yes. Well, you’re a blessing, and I’m so grateful for you, Beth. And we’ll be in touch. And I guess we’ll bring back Bree and Terry Lee, and she’s on to so many wonderful things. I love to acknowledge her. She’s, she’s been a delight in my world too. Yes, she is. Well, I’m going to guess we’re going to just say this is the end and until next week on the Charla Anderson show. And I always like to just end with, this is my signature, choose joy.

Important Links

• Website: BethBrunk.com
• Facebook: Beth Brunk Coaching, LLC
• Instagram: @BethBrunkCoaching
• Titles and links of books, products or offers:
  ‘Betrayed but Not Broken: A Survival Guide for Wives’ program
• Podcast: ‘Joy Equals Strength’
• Charla’s Info:
• Howdy, from Fort Worth, TEXAS 🤠   
• https://CharlaAnderson.com/ (ever evolving)
• Podcast Host; Speaker; Coach; Wellness Advocate; TexitCoin; Engaging Podcast Guest;
• Best-Selling Author of​:
•   ‘Candy Bar Hugs~It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference‘ ​;
• ​  ‘Split-Second Transformation~Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices‘ & 
• ​  ‘The Change​~Insights Into Self Empowerment‘ Book Series #21 with Les Brown  (ASK about the credibility factor of being in a book like this!)
• TV​/Podcast HOST
• ‘The Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!)’.
• Replays of my prior shows:  https://charlaanderson.com/podcast/
• Facebook
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• ZINZINO: Proven Omega 3 Balance
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• ASK ME: Charla@CharlaAnderson.com
• TexitCoin: Honest Money; Crypto Done Right!
• MineTXC.com Sponsor ID: SweetBliss
• History & Info: TexitCoin.org
• My Books:
  “Candy Bar Hugs~It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference”  https://amzn.to/2JSGeUl 
• “Split-Second Transformation~Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices”   https://amzn.to/3waHuOn 
• “The Change, Vol 21- Insights Into Self Empowerment” with Les Brown, Jim Britt & Jim Lutes
  https://tinyurl.com/TheChangeBookCharlaAnderson
  

Connect with Charla Anderson:

For more insights and to follow Charla’s creative journey, check out her website and her other projects:

• Website: CharlaAnderson.com
• YouTube: Check out her channel for beginner art tips, life wisdom, and more!

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About  Beth Brunk

The tightness in her chest to ease so she could take a deep breath. The physical pain in her heart to dissipate and for whirling, swirling thoughts to vanish. She wanted the pain of 23 years of trickle disclosure to go away. Beth wanted the pain she had been carrying since her wedding night, when he “did his thing” then rolled over and went to sleep, to disappear. She wanted the horror of watching her new husband masturbate on their honeymoon to fade away. She wanted the trauma of being raped by her husband numerous times over the years, to evaporate. 

Beth doesn’t believe that we can be fully healed in this life, we are human and full healing will come later. However, she is fully convinced that the Bible teaches us to continue to work on healing and breaking generational strongholds, agreements and curses. She does  the work daily. While she is not fully healed she is well on her way to living in abundance and freedom from the pain of intimate partner betrayal. 

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On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

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