Unlocking A Better You Simply By Asking Questions

TCAS 3 | Asking Questions

What IF asking the right questions is the Secret to ‘The Secret’? Is there more to the question, and therefore more to the answer of how we are able to Manifest? We were inspired by the movie, but did it work for us? #WinWinWomen.


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Unlocking A Better You Simply By Asking Questions

Good, beautiful day, you, beautiful souls. I'm so grateful to have you here with me. Everyone is fascinating, especially you. Here we are on the platform, which is phenomenal, WinWinWomen.com, and WinWinWomen.tv. Many of the hosts are on Roku live streaming all over the place, and I will be as well. I am excited to learn more about that as we've moved.

I've always been so honored if you take the time to participate with me in this time and take time out of your busy life to engage and see where we're going with the show. If you've watched anything with me, you've noticed that I start with the breathing exercise. It's a tiny mini meditation, 22 seconds of breathing to get us settled, to get us grounded, to get us a little more even-keeled in our busy, hectic, and crazy world. What I am offering is, if you do this with me, we're going to breathe in for seven seconds and calm. We're going to hold for 4 seconds, and then we're going to breathe out 11 seconds, gratitude. Breathe in calm, and breathe out gratitude 7, 4, and 11. Will you join me with that, please? Here we go.

Hold, release, gratitude, and thank you. Thank you for joining me with that. We could all use more of that in our daily rounds. In this episode, our show is talking about questions being the answer to the secret maybe, who knew? If you hang around towards the end of my talk, we may extend it and have a live conversation. I have the option to do that if there's someone willing or wants to have a question, a kind criticism, or whatever you'd like to offer at the end of my time here. Here we go. What if asking the right questions is a secret to the secret? Maybe there is more to that question and, therefore, more to the answer of how we were able to manifest. We were inspired by that movie, but did it work for us?

The movie I'm talking about, if you're not familiar, there's a movie that came out many years ago now, The Secret. It was from a book called The Secret. It inspired so many people to start thinking that maybe we can manifest things easier. I don't think it worked for most of us because we thought we could wish it and think it, and it shows up. There's a little bit more to it than that. Perhaps I have some secrets to the secret. In meditation, the thought came to me that the key to manifesting our dreams and desires is more of a secret. As it rose to my awareness, it also questioned my long-held belief that gratitude is actually the key to the secret, to success, or to happiness and all of that.

Gratitude Is The Key

Which is it, gratitude or questions? The shower held the answer for me. I have, for many years, believed that gratitude is the key. I mean everything. Gratitude will change your life in every aspect of your life. If you, in everything, give thanks and gratitude at all times. Jesus said we could do what he did and even more. If we ask and believe, we receive. I don't know that I was taught that, that we could do even more than Jesus did in my fundamental religious upbringing. I do know that he said it. I now believe it. It's not about religion here. These are universal truths.

The Master Jesus gave us that gift, but perhaps we haven't been taught the way to do that. I've manifested some amazing things because I live in gratitude. I'm talking about places to live and things that were pretty big and important to me. Gratitude is totally the key. When I believe Jesus said, "Believe," I believe that he meant to believe that it's already here. It's already on its way. Act as if you have it, and then release it and lay it at his feet. We ask, we believe that it's coming, and then we release it. That has worked for me a lot in many cases in my life.

Charla’s Affirmations

Most of us don't think about that very much, but we don't have to beg. We just ask and then believe and then receive. I was pondering this thought about questions or the secret. That same day, I've been listening to some affirmations. I have a free download of the ones I've been saying for several years. If you want to email me at Charla@CharlaAnderson.com, I'll send you a copy. I love them. I'm going to say these to those that are on the sheet. I'm going to say these as statements, as I've said them over the years. In the end, I will shift a few of them into the questions and see how that changes the whole gist of it. I'm going to read my affirmations or Charla's declarations for living a joyful life of intentional significance.

"I'm always on time. I'm always fully prepared. I move with speed and intention, urgency. I am organized. I'm scheduled and detailed in my daily planning. My systems are simple. I am focused. I am bold. I am courageous. I am relaxed. I always have fun. I choose to live powerfully. I'm an intentional listener. I'm an excellent communicator, and I speak truth in love. I'm a gifted leader. I'm abundantly generous. I am disciplined, living each moment on purpose. I'm healthy, wealthy, wise, fit, fabulous, and fun. I create magical moments. I'm a gifted writer. I'm an inspirational speaker."

"I expect miracles. I am a spiritual mentor. I am making a difference. I choose to live each moment to my best. I have everything within me to be wildly successful, and I'm surrounded by positive people. I attract successful people willing to invest in me. I boldly choose excellence no matter what."

I've said those off and on for years. I wrote them probably in 2010 or 2008. I believe that they're very powerful. As I was pondering this, are questions answer to the secret? I believe gratitude and questions go hand-in-hand. In fact, the questions enhance the gratitude.

This is probably one of the keys to this whole talk. Our little brains, our little voices, that I call Charla's chatter, the stuff that never shuts up in our heads, is always trying to ask questions, and it's always trying to answer questions. Asking these affirmations in a question format gives the brain something to think about and makes it less resistant. When I say, "I'm always on time," my brain will go, "Yeah, right." It diminishes. It resists that because it thinks it's a lie, but it's not. We're telling ourselves who we are. Whatever you say after the words "I AM" is who you are in that moment. Be cautious about who you say you are.

Make your affirmations more impactful by turning them into questions rather than statements. Share on X

Our mind is always answering questions, and we might as well ask better ones. I will add here a major caveat in asking questions. We want to ask empowering questions like, "How can I? Why am I able?" and not wimpy, disempowering victimization questions like, "Why me? Why can't I?" That's a thought. Don't be a victim. I won't hang around you if you are, sorry. That morning in the shower, I began saying my affirmations in the form of questions rather than statements. I said, "Why am I always on time? Why am I always fully prepared? Why do I move with speed and intention? Why does the money come easily? Why do I attract successful people willing to invest in me?" We can also say, "How do I attract successful people willing to invest in me?"

Niurka’s Wisdom

My memory comes back. I had this thought. This all isn't new thought because, back in 2009, a group of us from the chamber went to a motivational meeting. I heard a bunch of motivational, inspirational speakers. Many were world-renowned. Les Brown was there. There were several that were very high-powered and prominent. The only message that I was literally wowed by was from this gorgeous lady who walked up on stage whom nobody had ever heard of at the time, 2009, Niurka. It's an interesting name. You can look it up. NiurkaInc.com is her website.

I was blown away by her talk. I dug through some old notes and found that her talk was titled Questions Are the Answer. I'm like, "She copied me, lol." My questions are the secret. I was like, "This is cool." I had held onto these all these years, these notes. I'm going to read some things that the notes have on there. I give her full credit for some of these things here. I'll differentiate when I'm talking about my comment here. I'm going to read a little bit of this because it's powerful.

She has already done the work. "The quality of the questions asked determines the quality of the response. Are you asking questions by default or by design? The quality of your life is directly proportionate to the quality of the questions you ask." That's powerful and sobering. Maybe we want to look at better questions. She suggests three steps to learning how to ask empowering questions.

"1) When you ask an empowering question, it is stated in the positive. Ask for what you want. Your mind will look for things that harmonize with the questions that are asked. 2) Empowering questions begin with how or what. This will cause the brain to look for solutions. 3) Create momentum by using words like even more, while, or right now. This begins to shift your state." My favorite question from her that day, which I've thought of it over the years, “How can I be even more aware of the unlimited opportunities that surround me in my life right now?”

Don't you feel the power in that question? She goes on to say, "That question presupposes four things. 1) I'm aware. 2) There are unlimited opportunities. 3) They are surrounding me. 4) They are surrounding me right now." That's presupposing, and the mind goes to work. She agrees with me that gratitude is an integral part of all this. She says, "When you have faith that your question will be answered, gratitude is the natural result. Questions cause your mind to search for the answers."

She agrees with me on this as well. "Why can't I?" is disempowering. Empowering questions ask, "How can I?" Do you feel the shift? "If you're in confusion, it's a sign that the brain is searching for answers. When you ask the right questions, you'll get the right answers.

Saturate your unconscious mind with what you want to create, attract, and manifest.

We remember empowering questions are stated in the positive. They begin with how or what. They create momentum by using words like even more, right now, or while." This is still Niurka, "Use questions as a tool to induce states of excellence in spite of external circumstances or challenges."

TCAS 3 | Asking Questions

She listed quite a few questions, and I'm going to read a few of them. They're empowering questions to give you examples. For me, it always helps to have an example of verbiage. How did they say it? What did they say? After I read some of her questions that I'm going to tell you about an amazing situation that happened in light of this conversation, I believe we're tracking things quickly. Here are some questions that Niurka has. She says, "Ask yourself." This is the same one, but I love this question, "How can I be even more aware of the unlimited opportunities that surround me right now?"

"How can I be even more grateful right now? What am I grateful for right now? How can this be easier right now? How can I make it easier right now? How can I create this result easily and effortlessly right now while having fun doing it?" She says, "When facing a challenging experience, ask yourself these questions. What can I learn from this? How can I transform this? What's funny about this?" You might as well keep the humor there. More questions from Niurka, "How can I be more focused right now? How can I be even more determined and driven right now? How can I attract avalanches of abundance in my life right now by creating significant value for my clients?"

She's expanding some of these that we can get pretty detailed and might as well receive it. "How can I be even more aware? How can I be even more loving? How can I support my client in becoming even more connected to their unlimited and their ultimate vision right now? How can I be even more centered right now? Take a deep breath, right?. How can I be even more peaceful right now? How can I realize my objectives right now while supporting others and helping them realize their objectives?"

"How can I align my thoughts, words, and actions with the universal intelligence that surrounds me in my life right now? How can I think, communicate, and act in a manner that exemplifies excellence? How can I choose to be consistent with my highest self?" This is Niurka's. She had a quote then, and it's on her website that I believe must be her signature quote. I'll end her segment with this. "When you change, the world around you changes. You have that much power."

In Line At Sam’s Club

I love that. Her saying reminds me of one of my favorite sayings, which is, "You can't change the world, but you can change your world, which changes the world!" That's my saying on top of Niurka's there.

I told you I was going to tell you a story about what happened. I was at Sam's Club shopping, and in the long checkout line, the lady in front of me had a trailer full. I was saying to myself, "I'm going to practice what I preach here." I was saying things like, "Let your light shine, be the light in the dark place. Everything is always working out for me. Relax and release," and things like that. I was happily waiting in line. No worries. I was focusing on being okay and present at that moment.

You cannot change the world, but you can change your world. Share on X

I thought if I say everything is always working out for me, which I do often say, what if I changed that to, "Why is everything always working out for me? How is everything always working out for me? How can I be a blessing, even more of a blessing to everyone I meet? How can my light shine even brighter?" It wasn't a surprise to me that the manager pulled me out of the line to another register. I laughed and told her what I'd been saying to myself, changing it from "Everything is always working out for me" to "Why is everything always working out for me?"

I got to bless her. She blessed me as well. That's an example of being present and letting your mind answer the questions. Driving home from Sam's, I was in my happy place driving home and thinking of these questions and going, "I love this thought about the secret. The questions might be the secret, along with gratitude." I was making up questions, and then I got pulled over for speeding. I told him the same story about asking manifesting questions or why is everything always working out for me. I believe that I was there to bless him, or he was there to bless me, or perhaps him stopping me prevented one or the other from having something worse happen down the road.

That is my attitude always when I encounter law enforcement that I truly admired. I told him that I live in gratitude and that I thanked him for his service to our community. He asked if I would still be grateful if he wrote a citation. I said I would be more grateful if he didn't. Yes, I got a ticket. I deserved it. Maybe he had a story to tell his crew, his team, and his wife when he got home about this crazy silver head lady that wanted to bless him and brighten his day. What do you think?

I add that I have my little tiny book, Candy Bar Hugs: It Doesn't Take Much to Make a Difference! is on Amazon. It is being republished for its fifth anniversary by Beyond Publishing soon. I'm so excited about that. It has stories like this in it. It's a tiny book with a big message, and it should be out. Both of my books and this Split-Second Transformation - Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices, maybe shifting from statements to questions, remind us to love each other with infinite love. That book will also be out. I'm excited about that.

Intentionally Asking Better Questions

If we love others with infinite love, I believe as God loves without judgment, just loving people. I'll add that the harder people are to love, the more they need it. I love them anyway. You got a little bonus there. This wasn't about questions. Coming full circle as we come to the end of, "What if we intentionally began asking better questions to help guide our mind to offering better answers?" as I said before, you may not be able to change the world, but you can change your world, which changes the world just by changing your words and blessing others.

The harder people are to love, the more they need it. Love them anyway. Share on X

The secret to the secret of manifesting is a combination of gratitude and questions, gratitude, giving thanks that what you ask for is already on its way. It is being grateful that you are seeing, feeling, and believing for it and not sitting on the couch. Keep moving. Take action. Do what's next, and do what needs to be done, and then releasing it with full faith and then asking powerful questions. Here is a few of mine. I thought this was hysterical because this question came to me. I'll say that I don't look in the mirror that closely that often, but I was looking a little closer and said, "How can I let my light shine even brighter to minimize these victory lines?"

Why not? If my light is shining brighter, maybe they will be minimized. I started like, "How can I be even more aware of the healing power in every cell of my body? How can I be even more effective in sharing infinite love with everyone I meet? How can I be even more effective in sharing my silver wisdom with you guys?" This just made me laugh out loud. I received a text from a mentor that sends a daily wisdom seed. Every single day, he sends us something. I would've thought, "Maybe this is a divine plan or something." Did he know I was going to talk about this? No, I haven't talked to him in a few years, but this is what he sent today in a text. "When we turn our prayer request into questions, our prayers will be answered." This is Benson Agbortogo. He’s mentioned in my first book.

He always does some of his quotes, and then he adds a scripture. He says, "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock and the door will be open to you," in Matthew 7:7. He then always ends with, "Keep breathing free oxygen." I love that. I'm like, "Keep breathing free oxygen... if you are on this side of the dirt..." If you can take a breath, you're okay in that minute. If you take a breath and breathe in 'I AM', who you are is who you say you are.  I wanted to share that with you. I'll have to recontact Benson and say that the timely message was incredible for the message with you guys.

Getting In Touch

We're closing it up here, pulling into the parking lot. Thank you. If you've stayed here this long and you're still hanging out here with me, I appreciate your heart and you’re blessing me with your time. I'm here every week, every Wednesday at 1:00 Central Time on WinWinWomen.tv. I'm so grateful to have you with me.

Win Win Women is an incredible platform. They don't allow advertising. I wouldn't do advertising. I don't like that format. They allow us to talk about things that we dearly love. My first one is Win Win Women. If you want to host your own show, contact me please, Charla@CharlaAnderson.com because I have an affiliate link, and we connect. We can win all the way around. Have your own show. There's an investment opportunity for investors. I don't know. It might be something you'd like to look at, but please check out my website and find my email.

My website is CharlaAnderson.com. On there as well, you'll find that website is brought to you by Course Platform Academy, who's taught me. I call them St. George, the mentor of mentors of how to do tech and build our own websites and own it. I own it. I know how to work it. It's incredible to me. I also have an affiliate link with the Course Platform Academy and Zeal For Life. Zeal is my incredibly amazing nutrition beverage of choice I've been taking since 2011. It is nothing but superfoods. The company is Zurvita. It is made in Texas, Zurvita.com/Charla.

Take a look. I have a banner on the bottom of my homepage that has a few of these things. That's just for fun. I would never share anything that I don't fully 100% believe in, use, or take. I wouldn't. Money's not important to me enough to sell something that I don't believe in or to share something that's not selling anything here. If you have questions or comments or kind criticisms, let's have a conversation. As I start having a community, it will be fun to have a conversation. As always, something that I want you to hear from me at all times is you've blessed me, and I'm so grateful for you. Always choose joy.


I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torch bearer, personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, Published Author and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion of living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

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