Really! Will we ever get to wherever we are going, or are we forever in transition? What can we count on as constants as we continue our growth journey through all the changes of our lives? Let’s explore this on today’s Show. #WinWinWomen
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The Forever Journey: When Will We EVER Finish Transitioning?
Today is Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023. I am so honored and thankful that you are here with me. I always start with my breathing exercise. It’s 7, 4, 11. Seven seconds in, four seconds hold, 11 seconds out. Calm in, gratitude out. It just helps us get centered and started here and unsettled on this journey. If you’ll join me, please, we’re going to go seven seconds in breathing in. Ready? Hold, breathe out. Thank you. I hope you joined me for that. That’s a mini meditation you can do any time to get more grounded and settled because our world is a little not settled right now.
I’m going to be here for about half an hour talking. If you hang on until the end, 30 minutes or so, we’ll have a little conversation if you want to have a conversation. It’ll be recorded. It probably won’t be on replays unless it’s excellent that we will have a conversation. We can talk about ideas, suggestions, the topic of transitions that we’re having, kind criticisms, or whatever works for you.
Transitions In Life
We’re talking transitions. I don’t know that we always recognize that but the one thing I know for sure is the only thing constant is change. That’s an old loosely quoted from those brilliant Greek philosophers. As I wind down my sixth decade of life, a lot of people are probably slowing down. I’m actually gearing up here because my current life is a bit chaotic and certainly not settled, and most of my life has felt that way. I started thinking about this. Some questions came to me like, “Do we ever get to, ‘I made it. It’s done. I’m finally home. I get to live happily ever after.’”
Do you think that moment ever comes? I’m guessing until I begin pushing up daisies, I might as well accept the fact that life keeps lifeing. I know that I am going to be learning, playing, loving, giving, and all of that with everything in me. What about you? Are you happily settled? Are you living happily ever after? Are you still creating the life you deserve because you do, or are you resigned? This is where all there is. Are you living in fear? Good questions to ask because they’re not good questions. Those are not good places to be. While I was pondering all this, about yet another transition as I relived. I started reliving some of mine. I also considered some of the constants that have been the glue that has held constant throughout my transitions and my life.We might as well accept the fact that life keeps lifeing. Click To Tweet
I was a flight attendant for 34 years and that certainly influenced my view on the constancy of change. There’s rarely a dull moment in the world of travel. We called it hurry up and wait. There was so much rush and then wait. That became the constant hurry and wait. It’s still, I’m guessing, that way out in the travel world but flexibility is imperative. This is curious to me why so many of my peers at that time were always unhappy when some change came down the road like they changed the galley setup or this policy of this or that. I found that curious because we had to be flexible.
What I’m going to do now is a bullet point of my life and some of my major transitions. I believe it’s going to give some context about the next story I’ll tell because it’s a very personal one. We’ll then follow up by adding some constants that help me through all my transitions and maybe they’ll help you. Here are the bullet points. My parents divorced when I was six. I have 10- and 9-year older sisters and a 4-year younger sister that played into the story. Relatively happy childhood. I was hired by Delta Airlines in 1974. It’s the dream job. I got transferred from my comfortable Southern Houston to Chicago. They all thought I had horses and oil wells in my yard. I thought they were all mafia. I don’t know. That’s the media. It has done the job for us.
I got married a year after started flying. Ultimately, we had Valentine’s stillborn baby named Sarah. We had three beautiful kids and a nice life. We ultimately divorced after seventeen years. I had a remarriage, moved back to DFW, and had 3 stepkids so we had 6 kids. I retired in ’08. I got divorced after eighteen years. I married my whole life, it seems like. I had radio and TV shows when intriguing opportunities present themselves and you say, “Yes, things show up.” That’s one of my most favorite sayings. Radio and TV shows are crazy. I had some of that going on and then I went on a little six-week trek at the end of 2017 around the country. I ended up getting robbed at gunpoint. The trek was planned but the robbing wasn’t.
I stepped towards the gun and said, “You need love and I had no fear,” and they ran. The no fear is the big part. I’ll be writing a book about that soon. I ended up moving back upstairs with my ex-husband with all the boxes and the crazy time. At the end of 2017, I ended up publishing my little book, Candy Bar Hugs, It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference. I then lived in the house. We raised our kids in and re-purchased the house back from my ex-husband. Adults and kids were in and out. Some friends coming in and staying. It’s been a transition for sure. Lots of them.
I have a fifteen-and-a-half-month-old delight love of my life grand toddler that is here and her mom and her entourage. We’ve added a third dog and a cat and three step-grandchildren we’re here. All this is the reason I’m telling you this. This is why we have this topic. In 2023, I started a new TV show. Here we are. Three more books are being published then I’m going to republish Candy Bar Hugs. Here I am, moving into the podcasting world as well. I know none of that matters to you. Why is my crazy life that I call normal chaos? Why am I telling you all that?
The Love Child
Really because I don’t know why I feel so compelled to tell this very personal story. I’m not sure and I don’t know why. I don’t know the purpose and how it’s going to make a difference in your world that I’m sharing it. Creating that snapshot of my life helped me get my bearings around the story and the transition that happened as an adult, the two pieces of that story that come together. My gut is flip-flopping. I’m very vulnerable because I’m getting ready to tell a childhood secret that I don’t know that I’ve ever mentioned out loud. I hope that there is someone out here whom the story matters to and you can relate so I’ll just tell it.
When I was little, I was called the love child. This was in the ‘50s. It was before the love children of the ‘60s. Maybe I was the original. I hadn’t thought about that until now. Because my sisters were 10 and 9 years older, I was the little new doll, the new kid, the new child and I was doted on. My next-door neighbors did not have children. They adored me. They called me Chihuahua. They named me and took me places. I was their little baby. I got my mom to allow them to take me. We would go to Galveston and do night fishing. We would go to the Alamo. We went to the rodeo. I was over there all the time. They had a piano. They’re great neighbors and to be partially raised by them, Pat and Paul. I loved them dearly but they all doted on me.
During all that, I was an extremely shy child with all the things that they did to me. Occasionally, they would take me to the jewelry store and let me pick out a ring. They’d sit me on the counter with my little white tassel go-go boots. I would get to pick out a piece of jewelry, a ring or a necklace. It was nice to be that love child except I was always trying to please everyone. I was really the good girl. What’s wrong with that? Because I wasn’t perfect. When I would do anything wrong, I started trying to hide that and it became deceptive. I became deceptive. I’d started being easy to tell little white lies like when they asked me, “Where’s that beautiful pearl ring?” I told them I lost it when I had traded it to a little girl down the street who was a little bit bigger and more intimidating.
I certainly didn’t want to displease her, I traded my ring. I was so intimidated by that girl. Anyway, that’s the first time I remember lying consciously. I felt terrible. Regardless, without belaboring that story, lying became easier. Because I was such a good girl and had this innocent face, it was easy to get away with it. I’m not talking about becoming a criminal or anything like that. It was mostly about making up stories about why I was late, where I was, and who I was with. Anything to avoid displeasing the person that was asking. They were mostly little white lies but still deceptive.
The Highest Value
Interestingly, my highest value now in my life is integrity which means to honor your word. That makes sense in the light of this transition I’m getting ready to shift to tell you about that happened many years later and many years ago. I had a life-changing transition. All of that changed. My life changed when I met someone who trusted me. They said they trusted me unconditionally without any doubt that I could do no wrong. Once they said that, I had a split-second moment of transformation from being deceptive to being trustworthy or totally honest. I have a book called, Change Your Word, Change Your Life, Split Second Transformation, 31 Daily Practices coming out this spring of 2023.
That was many years ago. I honestly don’t recognize the me that was that person. I can’t even fathom being a little liar at all. Who was that person? I don’t like to say the word honestly because it’s redundant in my life. Who you say you are is who you are. I say who I am is honest. It’s a little redundant when I say honestly. It’s funny to me. I’m going to pause and look directly at you and say, “If you were one of those persons that I had deceptive tendencies to, I apologize with the core of my being right now and I ask for grace. Thank you for that.” I’m a bit bewildered now as to why I decided to share this story. I really don’t know but I believe that maybe some of us fell into some of those little traps when we’re small because we want to please.Who you say you are is who you are. Click To Tweet
I remember my daddy. I had to please him. They got divorced but I did not want to do anything to destroy their trust. Because I did, then I would perhaps, maybe lie about it occasionally. I’m not proud of this but I’m very proud that once I understood that I could be trustworthy and honor my word in everything, I became what I believe a better person. That contrast. This is where I told my life story. I have this contrast between this little girl and why she became deceptive. I have a moment in time when that shifted. That was a big transition. That’s the story. Why did I tell it? I hope it helps somebody understand these transitions in life that may have made a difference.
I am moving on now to constants. There are constants in my life. I’m assuming in yours that no matter what’s going on, we hold onto it. Some of them may be personality traits, people, things, or books. I’m not sure. In my life, there are some that continuously, even to this day, are constants. I’m going to bullet-point them again, probably with comments on some of them to get them out there. One constant in my life is that I have a super positive attitude. Going through this review, I was like, “Okay.” In high school, I was like, “I’m high on life. I don’t need drugs. I’m good.” At the ten-year reunion, I’m finding out some of my friends had done some drugs and they never even asked me. That’s not a bad thing but it was like, “I’ve got a positive attitude.” That’s been a constant in my life.
I don’t burn bridges. That’s another constant. If I break it up with my boyfriend or whoever, I try to maintain a cordial relationship at the least. To this day, we are in transition like crazy right now and that’s who I am. I’m outrageously optimistic that does settle and we become a better world because we’re talking like this. We’re having these conversations and maybe reminding each other that it’s easier and better to be positive. I don’t make a lot of judgments like that, but I promise you, complaining doesn’t help much.
Anyway, back to the bullets. I’m extraordinarily grateful. I live in gratitude. In everything, give thanks. Every little or big thing, right or wrong thing, good or bad thing, it’s brought us to where we are right this second. Let’s give thanks for it so we can take the next step and move forward. I have bold faith, no fear. Who I am is bold faith, no fear. I have said that for so many years that when I got robbed at gunpoint, I had no fear when I stepped towards them and said, “You need love,” and they ran. That will be a good story in that book. Prayer, of course. My prayer is asking with gratitude, believing that it’s already done, and releasing it in order to receive. I believe that some of our prayers have been. We might not have been taught to really manifest.
Anything that’s positive and personal development and how can I make it be a better person. My mama said, “Leave the world a better place.” That’s been a mantra of mine as well. Be a good person, be kind, and do the right thing. Another constant is I’ve had successful people willing to invest in me. That has been one of the affirmations I’ve had and it’s the truth. I’ve had amazing mentors and people that invest in me.
Those are some of my constants that I’m going to show you because typically, the audience is Win Win Women. I ran across a book in the ‘90s that I have read inconsistently but constantly over the last couple of decades now. It’s called Simple Abundance and it’s by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I’ve read it over and over again. This version is revised. I’ve written margins when something of a major life event happens. I was born on a TV show. It’s like a diary.
I love Simple Abundance and it’s made a difference in my life. In 2008, I went to Zurvita, the company that I started. Before that, my nutritional beverage of choice, at the convention, we had to launch that company. They gave out this little book called 30 Thoughts to Victorious Living. It’s dog-eared and underlined. I’ve read this book hundreds of times because there are a lot of months between ’08 and 2023. Another book in the last couple of years that has helped me to stay grounded and balanced is a philosophy book called The Daily Stoic. It’s short, tiny little pages. It doesn’t take much to give you food for thought for the day and to keep your mind on the right track.It doesn't take much to give you food for thought for the day and to keep your mind on the right track. Click To Tweet
The book I’ve recommended most all my life and since 2008 as well is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s a life-changing book. I highly recommended it. It’s a book I’ve recommended most throughout the last couple of decades. I love that book. Of course, the Bible and scriptures have been part of my journey most certainly as well. I’m grateful for that.
Life Keeps Lifeing
Somehow or another, this topic of transitions took on a life of its own because, like I said, I had no idea I was going to be telling this secret story or this truth about me. What started it is because besides my 15-month-old granddaughter, I had 3 step-grandkids here for spring break. We’ve added a third dog and got a cat. There’s a lot of comings and goings and ins and outs. I’m on transitions, even a third dog. I don’t know if you heard it in the very beginning. It made a howl. It’s a beautiful dog. I love all of that. I’m not saying not that I don’t love it, but it is a thing to handle. Life keeps lifeing.
I never would’ve guessed I would’ve been telling a tell-all story in my show because I started with that transitions. Here we go. As I pray, I pray as we continue to navigate this journey called life, especially in these unsteady times that our time together is meaningful and uplifting. Please know that I’d love to hear from you. I’d love to hear your stories. I am open to loving you through these unsteady times. One thing about the constancy of change is the constancy of love, and you are loved. I’m sorry, I’m telling you now. You are loved exactly who you are and where you are. You are loved right now, in this moment in time, no matter what your circumstances are. If you don’t know or feel that or believe it, perhaps I can guide you hurt feeling more worthy of God’s infinite love.
If that works for you, if that’s you, find me at CharlaAnderson.com. I’m open to hearing your story and lifting you up. Thank you so much for spending your precious time with me. Let’s love where we are and live happily ever after no matter where we are. Once again, I’m so grateful, honored, and humbled that you spend your time tuning in with me. Because we don’t have any advertiser on Win Win Women, I want to mention things that I love because I would never advertise something that I don’t love or believe in that was for me. Win Win Women has a platform that you may be interested in or know someone that has a global voice.
Also, there’s an investment opportunity for investors to look at that. If you go to my website, CharlaAnderson.com, the banner on the bottom of the homepage has links to some of these things I’m telling you about right now. The second one in Win Win Women is an amazing Course Platform Academy. St. George as I call him has helped me create that website. I own it. It’s mine. I know how to fix it. I know how to take care of it. He’s incredible support when I need help. There’s an affiliate link if you need a landing page, website, or whatever. He’s the tech of the techs. I love him so much.
Third is my nutrition beverage of choice, which is Zeal for Life. I love it. That link is in that banner as well on my homepage at CharlaAnderson.com. Nutrition at its finest. It’s superfood nutrition. We’re here each week live on WinWinWomen.tv and soon to be on all those other platforms I mentioned earlier. Thank you for joining me and always choose joy.
I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torch bearer, personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, Published Author and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion of living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.
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