The CARA Method: Be A Failure Expert, Cara Jean Wilson

The Charla Anderson Show | Cara Jean Wilson | Failure Expert

Let’s talk about failure and Clarify what is and isn’t failing; Assess what you can and can’t control; Realign around learning and growing so that we can all Achieve being failure experts. BECOMING FAILURE EXPERTS???

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The CARA Method: Be A Failure Expert, Cara Jean Wilson

I’m excited to have you join us. This is Win Win Women, the platform of choice. All over the world, we are the number one interactive platform for women, Podetize for podcasting and so much more. I have one of our other show hosts, Cara Jean Wilson. I will introduce her after we do our introductory little mini-vacation settling.

We’re going to do our little 22-second centering exercise. We’re going to breathe in for 7 seconds, we’re going to breathe in calm, we’re going to hold for 4 seconds, and we’re going to breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. When we come back, we’ll be a whole grounded world here. Here we go. Let’s breathe in calm. Ready, set. Hold. Release. Thank you. Let’s be centered and grounded and with all these crazy electronic things that are going around in our lives all the time and we’re always digitally connected, it will never hurt you to take a 22-second mini vacation. If you’re upset, if you’re driving, take it. Don’t close your eyes when you’re driving.

I am grateful to have Cara Jean Wilson. She has Taking Cara Business as her site. She is the most dynamic, energetic, vibrant, brilliant, and delightful presence. I watched in some of her shows. She’s the host of her show. It’s called CARA Methods. It’s a huge pleasure and delight. She’s got more energy than anybody else I think I’ve met in a long time. Cara Jean, thank you so much for joining me. I want you to please introduce yourself. Tell us who you are in this world, and then we’ll talk about what you do.

Charla, this is wonderful. Thank you so much for having me on your show. What a delight. We talk about the Win Win Women, how powerful the platform is, and how powerful the community is. I’m going to say there is nothing like being in the presence of another Win Win Woman. It’s different than anything else in the world. I’m so grateful to be here.

Who am I? What do I do? I am Cara Jean. I am an Executive Coach. I do leadership development. In the world of coaching, you hear a lot about business coaches. They’re going to help you with the metrics, the things that you need to track, and the finances for your business. It’s very important. You then hear about life coaches who are helping you navigate the world of your life. Find that balance, find that happiness, find the things that drive you.

The Charla Anderson Show | Cara Jean Wilson | Failure Expert

Leadership coaching is at the center of both of those. It’s like, what if you could have it all? What if your work was part of your life and it aligned and made everything better rather than having to be something you balance against? What if? That’s what I do. I help answer those what-ifs and make sure people have everything they want.

When we talk about we want to be failure successes, I saw that in your title, why do we want to be successful failures? That is an oxymoron if I ever heard one.

Leadership development. A lot and anybody who’s been in leadership will agree with this. The hardest part of leadership is handling this hot mess before you address that hot mess, so you don’t end up with a dumpster fire and a train wreck riding down an avalanche. To do that, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. That’s part of how that works. With that, a lot of failure. On the upside, that’s not bad. We use failure as if it were a nasty thing that we had to survive through, but that’s how we learn. Many of us, not everybody, but most of us experience something and it doesn’t go the way we want. We’re like, “What could I do differently so I got a different result?” We grow through those experiences.

The hardest part of leadership is handling this hot mess before you address that hot mess. Share on X

I lean into failure. It’s my favorite thing. As soon as Charla said, “Let’s talk about the things that we’ve overcome,” I’m like, “Failure. Yes. Let’s go there. I love it.” FE, Failure Expert, is a term that I claim. I’m a failure expert. Why am I good at what I do? Why do I have the energy? I have so much failure, but I’m a failure expert. FE in Spanish means faith. FE on the periodic table means iron. If you have the faith to be a failure expert, you will be as strong as iron.

Faith is huge in my world. I know you live up in the Washington state area. You have that beautiful state up there. I’m in Texas. By the way, I am in Chip and Joanna’s country. I’m going to throw that out there because I’m in a little Airbnb. I’ve been doing the first-week experience for myself for years and I recommend it. It’s very fun.

Anyway, obviously my background is not normal for me and it’ll be that way at a different place, so I’m excited. I watched several of your shows, which is not something I typically do with everybody. You were so animated. First of all, you’re sitting on the floor in an airport in one of them and had everything that kept going wrong. The deal is you manage it because this is a message that I try to get. Where we are is all we have. You’re in the mess. You don’t have a choice to not be in the mess at this moment. You have a choice the next moment to maybe move a different direction and work your way out, but you don’t have a choice.

Where we are is all we have right this second. That’s it. We don’t have the last second to do it again. We can’t undelay the plane, we can’t explode the coffee, and all those things that were going on that day with you. You can’t unbook yourself from the wrong month of your travel. It was a funny thing, and then I watched your Halloween one and you painted your face on camera. While you’re talking, you’re painting your face like a frog on camera. You’ve got more personality in your pinky than most people have in their whole body.

I was so drawn to you when we first met. You have the brightest countenance, the brightest smile, the brightest personality. It’s an attraction. My goal every day, I have my heart song that I speak out through an Ashley Heart song and created a heart song for myself. It’s like that I fulfill my purpose of radiating light and love so that I can raise the vibration of the world. When you walk in that, when you stand in that which you do, people are attracted to that. I say this all the time. I have new best friends that I meet at Aldi’s all the time.

I’m a collector and connector of fascinating people and everybody being fascinating. Why are they following me? We strike up a conversation. I’m sure that happens to you too because you don’t meet strangers. You love everybody. The harder they are to love, the more they need it. Listening to some of your messages, they’re very similar to mine, but they’re so much more colorful because of your language of choice. I love it. You were explaining to me a little bit about where that came from, and then I want you to get into the meat-suit mush stuff. Stardust.

I’ll start from the beginning. My first dream, the only dream that I have in fact failed at. I don’t consider it a failure. I consider it an innovation. My first plan in life was that I was going to go through massage school. I was going to leverage the massage school to get me through my medical degree, and then I was going to take my medical degree and get and become a naturopath. I was going to an LMP, MD, ND. I invested in the entire alphabet.

The Charla Anderson Show | Cara Jean Wilson | Failure Expert
Failure Expert: Don’t consider a failure failure. Consider it an innovation.

In massage school, we got to do this incredible cadaver lab, which I loved every segment of. It reinforced the, “I want to do this.” Except I have a hysterical fear of needles and you don’t get to get a medical degree without passing a phlebotomy class. I walked into the room and walked right back out and reevaluated my entire life. I did get my massage license. I used that for many years. That was one of the greatest times of my life. I was a young 18 to 20-year-old, nothing baby. I specifically worked with people who had traumatic body experiences and helped them reconnect with their body, which was insane. There is nothing in the world like that experience.

Some of the things that taught me besides the concept of reality was that we are meat-suit, full of hormone soup, made of stardust, and controlled by mush management. It solidified that in my brain. Exactly what you were talking about, being present in this moment. In this experience that is happening right now, that’s where life is happening. Sometimes it’s messy, sometimes it’s sticky, sometimes it’s clean, and sometimes it’s fancy. The only constant is that it’s going to change.

In massage, one of the greatest hacks, for anybody tuning in who struggles with being present, would be becoming aware of the thoughts that are running through your brain because that’s the first step. One of my instructors in massage school said, “Imagine that right now, a reader board is running above your head and every thought that you think is now visible to everyone around you.” At eighteen years old, I was like, “No. Get out. Turn it off.”

It never shuts up.

Yeah, it doesn’t. If you’re aware of it, you can change it.

I released my book called Split-Second Transformation: Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices. Split second, you can change your world with changing your words. It went bestseller in December on my 70th birthday. There are lots of fun things about that. I wrote that book the beginning of 2019. Every word matters. That’s the message in my book. The words come from your thoughts, but what you speak, you speak life or death. “This job is killing me. I’m so sick. I’ve got this or that.” If you’re claiming things you don’t want, you might want to rethink that.

The Charla Anderson Show | Cara Jean Wilson | Failure Expert

Do you know about epigenetics?

Yes. Explain it to us.

I will meat-suit simplify it. Epigenetics. We all know genetics. Genetics is mom and dad got together and their chemical makeup created us. We got our hair, lips, skin, height and weight. All of that’s part of the genetic makeup. Epigenetics in the last decade has discovered that not only do we have genes that come in, but not all of them are active. We get to activate and deactivate them based on our behaviors, thoughts, words, and choices. Everything that we do. Anything we experience making we choose not to experience goes into our brain and creates new neurons.

Neurogenesis. Once upon a time, a thought that you only did that during birth, and then once you were born, that was what you had. Come to find out, we can create new neurons until the day we die, which is incredible. The more you think a specific thought, the more neurons are created around that, which means that there is a massive electrical pulse going in your brain on whatever concept it is that you are thinking about. The more that happens, the deeper that pathway gets, the more neurons they create to reinforce that. That electrical signal can activate or deactivate your genetic makeup.

When you are doing that with good things and positive and what you want, it’s amazing. People do it all the time with things they don’t want and it still builds the same rut in your brain that causes more of that to happen. It’s incredibly important that people watch their thoughts and their words. That’s what you’re talking about.

Yeah, because you create those pathways. Think of it as your brain is running. It’s running down these freeways and the lights are popping on as it goes. These neurons are being born and the lights come on and you’re running. Are you running away from something or are you running towards something? You’re going to run either way. If you’re running away, you’re thinking about all the things you don’t want. Do you know what shows up? More things to run away from. If you’re thinking about what you’re running towards, the things that you do want. Do you know what shows up? All of those things, things to run towards.

It’s that simple of a choice. Simple not being easy. You have to make that choice every moment of every day, all of the time, even when things are absolutely at their worst. Let’s say you made the plane appointment for the wrong day, you spilled your coffee, you showed up, and you still had to get there. That’s my life.

You’re talking about the mess, but upset draws upset. You’re running late, so you’re mad. The car won’t start, the green lights, the red lights, you hit the curb, and you have to get your car lined. Upset draws upset. Are you familiar with Michael Singer? I found his work, The Untethered Soul, fairly recently, surprisingly, since I’ve been a personal developer junkie my whole life anyway. He says, “Relax, release, and let it go,” because we can’t change it. it just happened. If it draws upset, then it’s going to draw more upset. I know you’ve witnessed it. Everybody has had that where it’s like, “I can’t find my keys.” You get more upset.

Whereas, if you take a moment to center and get grounded because the universe that lives inside of you knows where those keys are. Be still and know. You’ve heard “be still and know” all your life. It’s the truth and it works. There are so many of us now that get this. I know you know Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden, and Bruce Lipton are incredible. Becoming Supernatural, placebo effect, and all of these amazing studies that are epigenetic studies. That’s what that’s about. I love that so much.

Your heart song goes into that. The fact that you took the time to create and that you are thinking about it every single day is creating those neurons. The craziest part of epigenetics for me is how powerful it is. The reason is because doing that or sharing that with us doesn’t impact your epigenetics, but you’re impacting mine. That’s the part that I thought was so crazy. The studies in the pandemic. As people went home and had new stresses and new joys in their life, we were able to study that. The more stressed you were, the more you could watch the stress activate in the people around you.

When we say attitudes are contagious, it’s no joke, though. Simply by choosing happy, choosing to do things that make you smile because it makes you smile, choosing to follow your heart song because it’s what your heart needs to sing. That choice impacts you, your experience, and your mind, but it impacts mine. You choosing to smile makes my world better, so thank you for that.

Choosing to smile makes the world better. Share on X

The rising tide raises all ships. One act of kindness, it’s the butterfly effect. It affects the entire universe. The more we do it, the better things are. I’ve been saying for a long time, I’m outrageously optimistic that things are getting better, not worse. If you turn off the news, you might notice that things are better because they live in fear. They live for you to be in fear. Turn off that stuff. If it’s not something that you would have to take action on right this second, flooding or fire or something right this second, then it’s going to keep going.

I believe that the media has an agenda to keep us divided and in fear. I don’t watch it. I gave it up. I gave up watching TV when I was between seventh and eighth grade because I got addicted to soap operas and I swore I’d never be addicted to anything like that again. That was in the ‘60s. How many hours have I saved my world by not being glued to a programming machine?

In most of my childhood, we didn’t have a television. I remember when we got the first one, they were the big old box ones with the curved screen and six people had to carry it because it was giant, heavy, and the knob on the side. I was like, “We got a TV.” My friends were like, “Everyone has a TV.” I was like, “That’s not true.”

I was the first one on our block to get a TV in the ‘50s when they first came out, black and white. They’ve evolved. Everything can be used for good or bad. I think that a lot of that has been hijacked. Let’s go back to the meat-suit thing and the hot mess thing because life, the way I say it, and you say it differently, but I say life keeps lifing. If you get upset about lifing, then you’re going to be upset all the time because it does. Laughter is a great antidote.

Life’s whole job is to life all over whatever plans you have. Now, I believe my faith says that you can have the better thing. Life takes your plans, and then life’s all over them trying to open doors, shut windows, and get you to where you want to be in the best fashion. It doesn’t always mean it’s comfortable or the way that I would want to gone to it. #Don’tAskForPatience because you don’t get patience, you get opportunities to practice patience.

Life's whole job is to life all over whatever plans you have. Share on X

Never pray for patience. That’s a given.

Dangerous. Careful what you have. I use the meat-suit, hormone soup, stardust. That’s part of the self-care that leads to what I call the #MagicThree. It’s the three inner world where the media, communities, war, famine, and abundance all exist at the same time in every moment. There’s so much that is outside of our control. If you let go of the things that are outside of your control, there are only three. Of those three things, the way you think, the way you speak, and the way you behave. With that, you have power, control, and impact.

The Charla Anderson Show | Cara Jean Wilson | Failure Expert
Failure Expert: There is so much that is outside of our control. If you let go of the things that are outside of your control, there are only three you can control: the way you think, the way you speak, and the way you behave.

With that, you get power, control, and impact. When you have power over your thoughts, I talked about that epigenetically, you can change the people around you by thinking thought. How much control do you have if you even speak those? If you’re so intentional with your words that match your thoughts, you balance that intent and bring it forth. They call it spelling. It’s casting a spell with your word. You have that power, that control, you share it, and then the impact. If you can align the way you behave to the way you think from the way you speak, now your impact is a direct line to what you want and you can create anything.

I think so many people backing in Think And Grow Rich and all those early 1900s and 1800s, those thoughts that they were brilliant that came forth. If we can all become rich, then there are systems that can’t control us and they don’t like that. They have created other systems to keep us playing small.

In the ‘80s, they started calling all of this stuff woo-woo and gave it a nasty name as if woo-woo were bad. Woo-woo works. Why aren’t we doing it?

Woo-woo does work. That’s the reason they did that so that we would not. Religion is a God-in-a-box-bondage to me, but I was raised that way. However, Jesus said if we can do what he did and even more, and we know he did, how about water to wine? There are times that would be good. Raise the dead, heal the sick, calm the waters. If we had the capacity way back then, and I think that the early followers did, they had to find a way to stop that because they couldn’t control us if we could do anything. That’s where things started getting a little convoluted and more controlling. The powers that make the rules got extremely greedy.

I think of current situations with that. Did you know that there are now three court cases that have been won on affluenza? People who are so rich that they cannot be held accountable for their actions because they’re unaware that their actions have consequences.

That’s crazy. They won or lost? How did that turn out?

They won their court cases. One won where the person died. They got out of killing someone because they’re so rich that they don’t understand the consequences. That’s hurting people without even knowing they’re hurting people. That’s so destructive.

That’s a new one for me. It makes perfect sense. They’re so out here above the peons, the rest of us, who are trying to make the world a better place. My mama said, “Leave the world a better place.” If I could shake people and go, “If you leave something for another human being to clean up after you, shame on you.” You leave litter. You don’t wipe up your counter. You don’t put your cart back. Those are trite, but it’s an example.

I use this example a lot as a flight attendant for 34 years. Flight attendants walk up and down the aisle. These days, at least once or twice, but back in our day, we did it 50 times every flight and we served stuff. You walk off the plane and go, “My goodness, doesn’t anybody have responsibility for their own stuff?” I retired in ’08. It was towards the end of my flying that I realized that I’ve walked through this many times. Who do you think you are to leave a mess for another human being, especially putting bad things in seat pockets that somebody has to get and pull out?

Anyway, that’s a common courtesy. Leave the world a better place. Make things better than you found them. If somebody else has to clean it up or pick it up or wipe it up or hang it up, don’t do it. I don’t think there’s a generation right now that I’ve been surrounding with that I have not seen that they know how to do that. It’s like they’re oblivious. My whole mindset is, “How can I make a difference? What’s going to make a difference for the next person? How can I leave it better for them 100% of the time?”

That’s a growth space. When you were three, you absolutely didn’t think those thoughts because you were busy figuring out how to navigate your meat-suit like, “How do I walk? How do I pour things without spilling?” You’re so focused on here. You then get into teenage-dom and the hormone soup absolutely is out of whack.

I think the worst place on the face of the earth is seventh grade.

It’s so messy. You can’t pay me to go back there. We only recently learned that that continues until you’re about 27 years old. Physiologically, your brain is in that messy soup until you’re 27. Here we have these eighteen-year-olds who are like, “I’m an adult now.” I was one of them. I was like, “I’m so grown up. Why is it still so hard? Why is it still so messy?”

Someday, somewhere between 27 and 30, it’s like you go to bed and you’re like, “I don’t even know how to get to the night and the morning.” You wake up and you’re like, “What am I going to do for the next decade?” It changes. You have a different awareness. Your hormone soup settles down and your brain solidifies. That’s when we start to see outside of ourselves. We start to become aware that there’s this whole world outside of ourselves.

When things are messy here, we get lost. It’s easy. It’s not because it’s my belief system. It isn’t that these people are inconsiderate, unkind, or even selfish. They’re just unaware. They’re so focused with what they’re doing and what’s going on in the moment in their life, they haven’t taken that breath and looked up. That’s why starting the show with that 22 seconds of breathing is so powerful.

You can steal it.

I’m totally going to share it. I’m going to put it out there. I’ll give you credit for it. I love it. Physiologically, it takes about ten seconds for the hormone soup to do its hormone soup thing. From something coming in your brain and triggering a chemical reaction. Flushing it and forming the heart that then you pump it out to the rest of the body takes about ten seconds. That 22-second break allows that to happen in your system and for you to gain present awareness that you can make a decision that isn’t in the middle of that hormone soup. You can decide, “I’m not going to leave that mess behind. I’m going to pick up after myself. I’m going to take care of me and the things around me that nobody else has to.”

People think that taking care of self is selfish. It is not selfish. Taking care of self is self-care. Self-centeredness is another story, but the selfish is taking care of self and you can’t feed from the empty cup. It’s part of all that.

Self-care is business care. You said it by saying it again.

Self-care is business care. Share on X

You’re saying it your words, business care. You cannot be a leader if you don’t have your cup filled. Whatever that takes, if it’s a breathing, if it’s a massage, or if it’s go scream in the closet and come back out, whatever it is. We started out talking about the failure thing and you mentioned in your application or questionnaire that you had a baby brother who committed suicide. Something like that always changes those around. You took that instead of becoming more victim to who you are now. What does that look like?

It was a series of unfortunate events that led to exactly where I needed to be. It goes back to the, “I firmly believe that life’s on us for our better best. We can choose to find the better best or choose to sulk in the uncomfortable.” I’m not saying I didn’t sulk. There’s a solid six months after my brother’s suicide. I have very little memory or understanding of it. I look at pictures of that time and I’m like, “Where were we? What were you doing? Why do I have no memory of this?” That’s the hormones.

How old were you?

I was 33. He was a baby himself at 26 years old. So close to getting out of the hormone soup of it. That’s what struck me. At that point, we started diving into wellness and self-care. What you have to do as a human being to navigate this meat-suit in a universe full of other meat-suits. How much of that the mess of that real reality, we don’t talk about it. We put out all the highlight reels of the good things that are going on, but somehow we don’t want people to know that things are scary. It cost me one of my favorite person’s lives. For me, that became unacceptable. If that could cost the life of my brother, then I’m going to change it. I’m now in charge of speaking about that, of talking about that, of making messy, making failure, and making struggle normalized.

That’s something you were saying. Making the mess. The mess is always in the middle. There’s always a mess. You’ve touched on that, but knowing it, I think the deal is we’re always surprised. We think our life’s going along, and then there’s a mess and we think something went wrong. It’s not. It’s just what’s so, it’s what happened.

I referenced it in my training around making tea. Tea is the second most consumed beverage on the planet, so most people have made a cup of tea. When you make a cup of tea, there are a lot of things that can go wrong. You can have the wrong leaves, boil the water too hot, not enough so it doesn’t seed correctly, you can add cream to something that’s supposed to be a lemon drink, you can add lemon to something that should be a cream drink. There are so many moving parts in a cup of tea that so many things can go horribly wrong. It’s just a cup of tea. If you make a mistake making a cup of tea, what do you do?

Make another one. Pivot.

This is something that every single person tuning in has done 8.4 billion times in your life. Something goes wrong and you fix it. We don’t think about that when it’s bigger things when it’s outside that cup of tea. The same process is exactly the same. It’s going to be a lot of things coming together. When lots of things come together, it can be messy. Things don’t fit, things get lost, things get thrown out. You end up with this beautiful cup of tea on the other side. If something goes wrong so much that you have to start over, start over, try again. You can’t undo what you done-did-do, but you can redo.

The Charla Anderson Show | Cara Jean Wilson | Failure Expert

I fell in love with your verbiage, your little made-up words or whatever these things are with this stardust thing. We’re all stardust too, so it’s all beautiful. Change is inevitable. Development is a choice. That’s one of your leadership things. I’ve heard change is inevitable. Misery is optional. I’ve heard that many years and you want to normalize the mess of life. That’s what we were talking about. Are you ready to develop? We’ve got one other thing I want to ask you about. There’s a word that you mentioned called neurospicy. I don’t think most people would understand what neurospicy is, but it relates to leadership and imposter syndrome and optionitis, which I had not heard it put that way before, but I get it. Let’s go there a little tiny bit.

From my brother and normalizing this human experience, leadership, that’s why I lean into leadership because I understood that the chronic stressors that are so commonly discussed in leadership aren’t leadership common stressors. They’re just chronic stressors of being a human being. The tools, mindsets, and skills that come with leadership development are designed for that. A lot of what was out there, while it made sense, didn’t quite connect correctly for me enough because I’m neurospicy.

The chronic stressors that are so commonly discussed in leadership aren't just leadership stressors. They're chronic stressors of being a human being. Share on X

Currently, the language around that is neurodivergent. I don’t like that language. It’s the same reason I don’t like that ADHD is a deficit and a disorder. You’re telling me I’m broken. I’m not, though. My spice is what makes me so very entertaining and very unique. That’s part of that mess. This idea that we label things. It’s so easy to label things as good or bad and realize that’s not how it works. It’s either productive or unproductive. I took the term neurodivergent and I said, “No, neurospicy, you’re welcome.” I add flavor.

I got the spice in here. You turned it to fun. We hadn’t talked about fun, but it’s hugely missing in our world. I think a lot of people are entertained. It’s probably the highest value that I’ve noticed in a certain generation. We’ve got to be entertained. What are we going to play or watch or eat? Are they really having fun?

That’s the question. That’s been true for generations. Back when we would listen to radios or read books or read the newspaper rather than interacting with each other, that was entertainment, but it’s not about fun. I think it’s the fun, success, and the mess all swirled together into this experience. That’s what makes it challenging because what’s fun for me is not necessarily what’s fun for you. That doesn’t make what fun for you bad, it’s just not my fun. We have to think about it. We have to stop looking to be entertained and spend time with ourselves to find out, “What does make successful and fun?”

“What makes me laugh? We’re laughing at these other people doing these silly things on the screen but that’s not participating in real life. I’m watching that with the 7-year-old that comes into my life and the 30-somethings that are, “Isn’t that funny? That’s so funny. This is so funny.” Is it joyful? Are you learning something? Are you gaining an elevated mindset? I’m afraid that if you don’t capture that or put a time limit on it or something, a lot of people are not having fun and they’re not paying attention.

Being intentional and using it for fun, for entertainment, for growth, we’re intentionally doing that. Instead, it’s more of a diversion. It allows us not to connect and it allows us to not have to participate. We can hide in that. That’s what we’ve essentially talked about this entire time. That intentionality, that purposefulness, and that awareness of what you’re doing. If you are spending four hours doom scrolling on Facebook, either you had a great time but also you lost four hours of your life and you come out of it, you’re like, “Why is it dark? What have I been doing?”

They design it that way. It’s designed to keep you engaged and not productive out in your world, and it’s easy to do. All of a sudden, you click on something that matters or that’s important to you, and then four hours later.

My challenge is I don’t think that that’s necessarily a bad thing. I don’t think doom scrolling is a problem any more than having doom boxes or needing to disconnect from the world. I read way too many books to judge somebody else for their need to disconnect from reality, but I do it intentionally. That’s the biggest difference. It’s the difference in thinking thoughts because that’s your thought or thinking what you want to think. Are you playing because playing is what you do? Are you playing because you are building your algorithm to make sure it only shows you amazing people like Charla? Are you intentionally getting on there because you had a challenge that came up and you want to see if the internet has solutions? Are you intentionally using the tool? Is it becoming what you do?

Distraction and diversion. You’re exactly right. You have an offer, fifteen minutes of clarity coaching. Let’s describe and spell how people can find you the best place to be found, Cara Jean.

I’m super easy to reach, CaraJean@TakingCaraBusiness. Email me, let me know. You can also go to and connect with me that way. I’m on most of the social media. My dominant offers that I offer out into the world at this time, I do one-on-one coaching on a long-scale term, but that is a much deeper conversation and I don’t put that out there. We have to get to know each other first.

What I do offer to everyone are these clarity sessions. Those came back when my brother passed, I was working in corporate America in leadership development. One of the challenges I discovered is that hour-long one-on-ones when there are 100 of them and 1 of me is unrealistic for development. It ends up being quarterly reviews and that’s gross for everyone involved. I figured out how to do it in fifteen minutes, and then I got certified as a coach and I added that information in. I got certified in emotional intelligence and I added that information in.

I will tell everyone right now because you can go do this yourself. You don’t need someone. You don’t need to pay someone to do this with you, but it is better with a buddy because you have to go do it yourself. I don’t know about you but I am much better at doing those things when I’ve committed to doing them with somebody else because they’re going to hold me. It’s better with the buddy and that’s why it works so well.

It’s four questions. What is one thing I can support you with now? Why is that important now? What if we came up with the exact right answer six months down the line, tell me about that place, go there, what does that place look like? Why hasn’t that happened yet? It’s those simple four questions that yo-yos back to what the problem is out past the solution and then back to the present moment so we can figure it out. There’s a lot of conversation and question-and-answer stuff that happens after that, but it’s those four simple questions.

I offer that as low-cost coaching, so 3 sessions is $150. You can do in 12 sessions where it gets you an entire quarter for $600, which is affordable. There’s a 3 times return on an investment if it takes more than 20 minutes to get you from the problem to an actionable plan. I’ll gift you another 45 minutes, but I’ve done 7,000 of them and no one has needed an extra 45 minutes because people are geniuses and do know the answers to their problem, they just need support in getting there. I offer those. If you are interested in one of those, let me know. Email me Clarity Session and let’s make that happen.

I now teach this, so if there are other leaders out in the world who do want to develop people around them, but they don’t want to have to spend 100 hours and hour-long one-on-ones every quarter because it’s gross. I have this tool. I can teach it to you. I’ll be running four courses this year. If that is something you are interested in, email me and say, “In three leadership, it’s new normal neuro leaders.” That’s what I am teaching. My website is Taking Cara Business. It’s my name, which I think is hilarious, but it’s also the framework that everything is built around so we clarify, we assess, and we realign so we can achieve

It’s beautiful. You’ve married all kinds of different things into this program and your name being Taking Cara Business, the CARA method, and then the acronym for your name is beautiful. What’s next?

What’s coming up next? If you are in the Tri-Cities Washington state, if you are over here on the Pacific Northwest side, I’m offering the care method one time free as a partnership between Historic Downtown Kennewick and myself. I will be, this 29th, 30th, and 31st, running this live and complimentary. If you have an interest in the CARA method, which is part of the new normal leadership training but also a standalone on its own. If you would like more of this framework, if this meat-suit, hormone soup thing resonated with you. If you want to believe that leadership is as simple as growing up and making P, I got you. We can make that happen.

That’s awesome. Have you written your book yet?

No, I have a request for three. This year, we’ll be doing terms and pales. All of these fun things that I say, I will explain and tell the story behind them. This is the one I’m excited about. I’m creating Juju in Wonderland, which is a recreation of Alice in Wonderland but with a leadership lens.

You’re up to some big things. I’m so proud. It’s fun. This is where I feel like we’ve got an opportunity here at the Win Win Women Network in going global and having all kinds of events and things coming up. I’m having a Win Win Women event on March 1st, which will be my one-year anniversary of my show. They’re collaborating with Women’s Global Alliance. There are a lot of things going on that people and primarily women right now. That doesn’t mean that men are not needing bigger and better support than they’ve had. When we can come together, work through all these things together, and find solutions for humanity, it’s humanity that we want and care for because every person matters.

God is love. He can’t be not love. I’m telling you, he loves you no matter whether you’re a sinner or a saint, it doesn’t matter. He can’t see that. If he’s love, he can’t be not love. If you were taught that he’s a mean old dude and you can’t ever get there. We were all taught wrong. Let’s love each other and let yourself be known that you’re perfect in every way, exactly who and where you are, then Cara Jean and Charla are here to help you through these unsteady times if you need a little nudge or a little lift. Cara Jean, do you have one last word? We’re going to close it up.

One last share since we brought up the Women’s Global Alliance. The thing that aligns with my life, but it’s going to sound sideways to everything we talked about so far, is WAM, Wilson Adventure Mobile. This is the space that I’m living in. My husband, son, and I are going to start next spring or summer this 2024 and do a whole US tour around eco-villages. Our ultimate goal is to build an eco-village around a steam university and bring leadership and community back to how we run entire cities. It’s an audacious goal. Be on the lookout for WAM all over the social medias and come join the audacity.

Love it. You’re so vibrant and fun. Thank you so much for joining me. I’ll be back next time. You all keep your eyes out because she’s gone viral. We probably will have some fun conversations there next time. Cara Jean, I don’t think we mentioned the name of your television show, so let’s end with that. What’s the name of your show on the Win Win Women Network?

The CARA Method. I’m on the Empower Channel. We go live every Tuesday at noon, Pacific Standard Time.

Thank you so much again. I love you. I think you’re beautiful and blessed beyond measure and you’ve blessed me. I appreciate it so much. Don’t forget to always choose joy.

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I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torch bearer, personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, Published Author and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion of living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

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About Cara Jean Wilson

The Charla Anderson Show | Cara Jean Wilson | Failure ExpertCara Jean, a seasoned coach with 25 years of leadership experience, specializes in executive coaching and leadership development. Taking CARA Business, caters to the unique needs of leaders in the neurospicy category and those working in STEM and DE&I. Using the CARA Method, we help leaders overcome challenges like imposter syndrome and option-itis. Our 15-minute clarity coaching sessions build accountability, trust, and emotional intelligence. We’re here to help leaders get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Change is inevitable, development is an option. Are you ready to develop?

Collector & Connector of Fascinating People... & everyone is Fascinating!  Sharing Encouragement, Courage, Inspiration, Smiles & Hugs to Leave OUR World a Better Place.

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