What is the highest value in our society right NOW? Who’s paying attention? Do we value the same things today as we did a decade ago? What are YOUR core Values? And how committed are you to them? Let’s dive in today.
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Staying True To Your Core Values
Good beautiful day you beautiful souls. This is Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, collector and connector of fascinating people. Everyone is fascinating, especially YOU! I am super glad you could join me. This is Charla’s Chat. It’s the fourth Wednesday and I do a solo show. We’re talking about one of my top favorite subjects. It seems like we talk about it a lot. It’s values. Have they changed over the last couple of decades? We’ll also talk about boundaries and legacy, how that all ties together, and how you know where you stand in all of that. We can do some deep-dive discussion around that.
First, we’re going to do our 22-second mini vacation or our little settling breathing exercise. We’re going to breathe in calm for 7 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and breathe out gratitude. Take 22 seconds of your life and settle down with me. Here we go. Breathe in calm for 7 seconds. Hold and release. Say, “Thank you.” Let’s do that more often. We need a be-still-and-know moment several times during our day, don’t you think? We can start centering and grounding a little bit better. Thanks for joining me with that. I do it every week and I love it. I love taking that moment.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the values and how they have shifted over the last couple of decades. What do you think the most prevalent value is in our society right now? We’ll have some discussion around all that. What do you think? If we start instilling the values that we value the most into the children, and when you have your values set and you’re committed to them and convicted of them, decisions become so much easier. Wouldn’t that be handy as you’re moving into the teen years and you already know one of your values is a clean room? You can either choose messy or clean. It’s a value. What if it’s purity? What if your value is, “I want to stay pure for my marriage,” perhaps? That’s the old-fashioned way and probably worse.
If you make a decision ahead of time about what is important to you and your values, your life becomes less torn. You’re not reacting to everything. Going back to the purity one, if you know that that’s a value that you want to have as a young adult or even out in the world and that’s important, then you make the decision ahead of time before you get in those situations that might cause that to be compromised. You then can think, work through, play, pretend, and act as if you’re in a situation. You’re like, “It goes against my values. It doesn’t work for me.” It’s a pretty powerful one if you think about it.
I’ve got a little almost-three-year-old grandbaby. You get to choose. Do you want your life to be more peaceful or do you want to be more active? Do you want to have a clean room where every time you wake up or go into your room, you know where everything is? You’re organized. Those are values you get to choose. If we haven’t thought about it very much, sometimes, our values are less constant in our lives and our world.
This is how it is. I’m an information-gatherer and an observer. I watch. There’s a generation that’s a lot younger than me that are so engaged in their devices. This is an opinion from observation. I believe that the highest value our society is evolving into or has evolved into is entertainment. I’ve said it several times on the show. You’re looking at your checkbook and your calendar. We don’t have checkbooks and physical calendars anymore generally, but your time and your money.
If you are scrolling and you’re like, “That’s funny. I want to show you this one,” you’re absorbing a lot of influence out in the world. It’s your time and your money. You’re like, “What am I going to eat? What am I going to play? What movie am I going to see? What am I going to read?” Any of that is all entertainment-based. You want to understand that that’s a value. If another value is education or integrity and you honor your word every single time, then you know that ahead of time. You plan that. When someone is like, “We’re going to a party,” and you’re supposed to study, then you know your values are already set.
I wish I had understood this, first of all, for my children better. I wish I had understood it for myself better. I didn’t think much about it. I had a certain level of morality so to speak or whatever. It’s knowing what’s important to you and what it looks like in practical ways. If your value is sobriety perhaps and you’re tempted by that, then think ahead about how you will say no in these situations. How will you answer to those temptations?
What if you know that you value work ethic? Work ethic means, “I’m going to do the best I can wherever I am in any situation. If my job is mopping floors or cleaning toilets, I’m going to be the best toilet cleaner or floor mopper they’ve ever had.” If that’s the job you’ve chosen, it is a choice to be there. Where you are is all you have. I say that almost every week. If we’ve chosen that path, be there. Do it well. Do it right. Do it with excellence. That is the fastest way, in my estimation, to move up the ladder.
I remember Jim Rohn talking about it. If you remember old Jim Rohn or the late Jim Rohn, he talked about minimum wage. He was talking about it being $3 or something way back then. He said, “It doesn’t matter what it is because you don’t want to stay there. It’s the ladder you want to climb to make yourself better and to make yourself more valuable to the workplace. You’ve got a great opportunity. The powers that be will be watching and finding out that your value is excellence in the workplace.”
My value is excellence, not perfection. I have a tendency towards perfectionism when I get involved in something. I want excellence no matter what, and I expect it from you and other people. That’s a value as well. How can we collaborate and make things? My mama said, “Leave the world a better place.” Let’s choose our values wisely.
Core Values
I did a course in May. It was a little mini-class called Adults Need Boundaries Too. It was a legacy-building exercise. I have some of those values that we talked about. Aristotle had these virtues, which were courage, temperance, liberality, magnificence, magnanimity, patience, truthfulness, wittiness, friendliness, and shame, which don’t fit our definition in our world. That was on his number ten on his list. He also had justice and modesty.
Tom Ziglar, one of my mentors who is the proud son of Zig Ziglar, has ten leadership values, which are selflessness, standing firm, self-control, humility, looking for the best, never giving up, kindness, being the light, respect, and positivity. Some of Charla’s favorites are integrity, respect, kindness, humility, generosity, unconditional love, trustworthiness, honesty, courage, and fun. Fun is a value too. I want to give you some core value examples. Humble leadership is from the top down, everyone empties the trash if it is needed. You pick up after yourself. You wipe the tables from the top down, from the CEO, all the way to the floor cleaner. That’s a great core value for me that we work from the top down.
I’m going to talk about Zurvita, a company that means “the risen life” in Latin. It’s a network marketing company. I’ve been with them for sixteen years since 2008. Zeal Wellness is a superfood beverage. It’s unbelievable with everything you can imagine in it. One ingredient is a stabilized rice bran that has over a hundred micronutrients in it. It’s beautiful. I’m 70 years old.
Talking about having energy, they have Zurge, which is a memory-boosting coffee. I love it. It’s an instant coffee that I drink every day. They also have Zundora, providing skin quality on the inside and out. Go to Zurvita.com/Charla. Go take a look. The reason I brought that up is because of their three core values. That’s the reason I’m still with them. One is humble leadership. Nobody gets greedy at the top. I love that.
Authenticity is another core value that I love. Everyone is real. Real is a relentless expression of authentic love. Integrity is when you honor your word. When it’s hard, take the high road. Why not? That’s your value. You can’t do otherwise. Bold faith and no fear is one of my core values. I am outrageously courageous and outrageously optimistic. I stand in the authority that I have as a child of the Most High to have bold faith and no fear. Those fears and a step towards the gun will be one of my books because I did. I had a gun to my head. I stepped towards it and said, “You need love,” and they ran without fear. That’s the key on that one.
My mama said, “Leave things better than you found them. Make the world a better place. Pick up after yourself.” I did this. It would make our world so much better if we could be kind, do no harm, wipe up after ourselves, pick up after ourselves, and leave things better than we found them. All of those are the golden rule. If we treat each other the way we want to be treated, lift each other instead of judging each other, and love each other or love one another.
The harder people are to love, the more they need it. Love them anyway. It’s unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness, not unconditional boundaries. May you be blessed. This is a constant message that I’m always sharing out here on my show and the world. A master is one who blesses. Don’t you want to be that master? Leaving things better than you found and finding your core values are some of the most important ones in my world.
Virtue Continuum
I was looking at the little course that I did. If anybody is tuning in to this, send me an email at CharlaAnderson.com. If you want the slides of this little course, we can work on them. This is the slide deck from my mini-course, Adults Need Boundaries Too. There’s the virtue continuum. If my integrity is one of my highest values, what are the extremes? One is mass corruption. The other extreme would be legalism. Discernment is a great value. One extreme without it is foolishness or being foolish. One extreme that’s the other way or the excess is judgmentalism. People are trying to get through the world the best they can. Love them through it. Let’s love people.
Being offended about everything and walking around with a chip on your shoulder is an unhappy life. You don’t realize it but you’re building those tracks in your brain of unhappiness when you’re a complainer or when you’re looking for what’s wrong instead of what’s right. Love is the value. It’s selfishness if it gets too far to the deficient side. It is enablement if it gets too far to the excess side. Without respect, the deficiency is disregarded and the excess would be idolatry. It’s an interesting virtue continuum that I found.
On the bad side, without humility, you’ve got pride. On the excess, you’ve got degradation. There’s diligence, temperance, and courage. This whole list is pretty interesting. What are the extremes? When we walk down that center lane of the virtues that are important to us, then we know how we’re going to treat the next person. I have this vision of someone that I know personally that I feel is in this reactionary mode. It’s like watching someone self-destruct in a way when they don’t have commitments and convictions on what’s important to them. They’re blown away by the wind. If somebody is like, “We go this way,” it’s a little sad to see.
When we walk down the center lane of our most important values, we know how to properly treat the next person. Share on XMaking The Choice
If you’re spending lots on scrolling, laughing, and thinking of all those reels, TikToks, and whatever they are, that’s other people’s lives. You’re not living your life when you’re doing that. I saw something pop through and I didn’t grasp it. I wish I would’ve looked at it a little closer. I’m an information gatherer. I absorb things. I want to know. I’m a personal development junkie. This thing that caught my eye was like, “Instead of more content absorption, live it, do it, and be it.” Alan Mikolaj was one of my guests. It was the middle of June. It was June 12th, 2024. His message is unconditional love as a leadership quality that he operates in. We had an amazing conversation. He’s phenomenal. It’s worth checking out our show.
When he was a little bitty boy, his mom called him from outside and said, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” instead of, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” That’s a phenomenal question if you ask me because when you know who you want to be, what you want to do becomes a lot simpler. You’re going to be that person no matter where you are. It doesn’t matter what level you are if who you are is the best person you can be.
When you start asking young people, “Who do you want to be? Do you want to be a leader or do you want to be a follower? Do you want to be popular or do you want to get your business set up?” Those questions are worth asking. I love having these thoughts about all this because when was the last time you evaluated?
I mentioned that I think over the last few decades, technology has made it so easy. People are like, “I am rooting for our team.” It’s entertainment. Remember back in the day when we would go to the library, check out books, and we would read? Even though that’s sometimes considered entertainment, it’s also education. You’re holding it in your hand.
There’s not one thing on the face of the earth that you can’t find out about in a library. There’s a place to be still and know and go listen. That’s one of the most underutilized services that I believe we have in our society. Go to the library. It’s quiet, peaceful, and usually beautiful and calming. Take some time to assess your values and assess the legacy you want to leave. What are your dreams? What are your desires? How do you figure that out?
Legacy
Legacy, according to Tom Ziglar, is when you teach and transfer the habits that build character, integrity, and wisdom that will ripple through eternity. Learn to transfer your legacy by design, not by chance. You’re leaving a legacy anyway. You are working from values anyway. What if you were very clear on them? What if you understood that the importance of all of that is beyond measure? What areas of your life do you need to set better boundaries, choose your values, and leave a legacy? What do you want to leave? Do you want to be a powerful leader? Do you want to not care and get by? Many people seem to not have the desire to do much more than get by.
Things are tough for everybody I know. I’m outrageously optimistic that there are more good people than bad. When push comes to shove, we pull together as humanity and work together. We’ve got to do that. A really important value is to keep our families and our communities taken care of. That’s one of the things that I believe we can start with, making sure our families have this conversation. Who do you want to be? What’s important to you? Take time to consider all of that.
Focus a little bit more on your core values. Look at your checkbook, your time, and your money and discern. I would love to send you the Adults Need Boundaries Too, the little mini course. It was well-received. I enjoyed teaching that and learning about it for you. I’m going to do a mini commercial for my Zeal Wellness, Zurge, a memory-boosting coffee, and Zundora, skin from the inside out. Please join me and look at these amazing products. It would help me. I would love to show it to you and share it with you. It’s Zurvita.com/Charla. You can take a look. Contact me.
This has been a wonderful time to remind myself and remind you about our values, our boundaries, and our legacy. Ultimately, I intend to have a legacy builder society type of thing, a little group where we can continue this conversation. Go to CharlaAnderson.com. Take a look. I’m still evolving that website. We’re working on things there.
I’d love to have you read the book, The Change: Insights into Self-Empowerment, with Les Brown on the front. I’m in book number 21. We’re looking for authors with the credibility factor of being with Les Brown. Take a look. You never know. Read my book, Candy Bar Hugs: It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference! That’s a tiny book with a big message. It’s a 25-minute read on Audible. Also read Split-Second Transformation, Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices. Your words matter. Every word matters.
Episode Wrap-up
That’s a little bit about me. If you read this later on, contact me at CharlaAnderson.com. I love you. I think you’re perfect. I know you’re perfect exactly who and where you are right now. You can’t do anything to be loved more or loved less by God or by me. If you don’t love yourself enough, then you might be the bully in this situation. People who are hard to love most often do not love themselves enough to love other people the way that needs to be shared.
Bullies are hard to love, and most of the time, they do not love themselves enough. Share on XDo that. Think of it. Love one another. Just be. You don’t even have to strive when you just can be and you know your values. You are worthy exactly who and where you are right now. I encourage you to reach out. I am an encourager. Blessings to you. I’m going to say as I usually do, I hope to always have you choose joy. I’ll see you in the next episode.
Important Links
- Zurvita – Charla
- The Change: Insights into Self-Empowerment
- Candy Bar Hugs: It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference!
- Split-Second Transformation, Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices
- The Key To Heart-Centered Leadership With Alan Mikolaj
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I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming, and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torchbearer, a personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, a Published Author, and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion for living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.
On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, princess-to-queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.
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