Setting Boundaries And Legacy Building

The Charla Anderson Show | Legacy Building

Charla shares insights from her latest workshop, ‘Adults Need Boundaries TOO – A Legacy Building Journey’ with her Boundaries Barometer, Values Evaluator & Legacy Builder Society.

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Setting Boundaries And Legacy Building

Good beautiful day, beautiful souls. This is Charla Anderson, host of the show, collector and connector of fascinating people and everyone is fascinating, especially YOU. I’m so grateful you’re here on the show. We’re on the Win-Win Women Network. It’s an amazing place to be and a great platform. If you ever want to have your own TV show and podcasting with Podetize, I have some connections and some credibility to tell you about some of these amazing platforms, including Course Platform Academy, my web people.

I’m here to share some wisdom, insights and fun things that happened in my workshop which was Adults Need Boundaries Too, A Legacy Building Journey. It was well received and we’ll be working through some of that as I’m going solo every fourth week. Before we start, I will do my little centering breathing 22 second mini vacation in order to get myself centered and get you centered. Let’s take a moment to breathe in calm for seven seconds. Hold for four and breathe out gratitude for eleven seconds. Here we go. Ready. Set. Breathing in calm. Hold. Release. Gratitude. Thank you.

Workshop And Boundaries Baromoter

Thank you for joining me. There is this workshop that I did. We worked off toward building a legacy. We started with boundaries and we discussed values, what our values are, how important they are, and how we behave on an everyday basis. Is that something of interest to you? Have you thought about it? When’s the last time you thought about what your core values are? Are they driving your life the way you want them to?

The Charla Anderson Show | Legacy Building
Legacy Building: We worked on building a legacy in this workshop. We started with boundaries, went through values, and discussed how we should behave on an everyday basis.

Once you’re very clear on your values, then the circumstances and the winds around you do not shift your stance. We did several value exercises and got a lot of discussion around that. It was very powerful. We’re going to talk a little bit about that, the values and the boundaries. We started with the Boundaries Barometer™™. It was so fun, too. I have an amazing team at the Course Platform Academy with George Wansek.

He lives in France and Kim Hall, his designer, has done so much to assist me. If you ever need tech, this is the place to go. When you need tech, websites, and courses. I guarantee you they’ve got the solution and George’s favorite word is simple. We’re going to keep it simple. He’s got to do it with you or do it for you. You have all kinds of options as you move forward and need some high level, simple, and reasonable full live support too. The live support is unbelievable. He’s masterful. They are masterful.

Grateful to have them on my team. We came up with a Boundaries Barometer™ and it would be fun to show you this slide. I may throw it in the blog when I put the blog out in a couple of weeks, but the Boundaries Barometer™. We’re calling it a pre-flight check to assess where we are in this journey of how our boundaries are and I teach things.

The Charla Anderson Show | Legacy Building
Legacy Building: We call Boundary Barometer a pre-flight check. We assess where we are in this journey and check the state of our personal boundaries.

I’m teaching things that I need to learn because I haven’t been very strong with my boundaries in the last few years with people that have been under my roof. I’ve done us both a bit disservice. All of us do you a disservice when you don’t stand in who you are and your truth. Things get nebulous and a little wishy-washy and sometimes downright disrespectful or disregarded.

Our Boundaries Barometer™ is so fun. We use a little bit of airline lingo. We did a pre-flight check. George was a pilot and I’m a flight attendant. I was a retired flight attendant. We had some lingo that is fun, but you always need instrument checks or pre-flight checks before you go on any trip or anything you’re getting ready to do. It’s worth it to figure out where you are.

On our Boundaries Barometer™, we have everything. Everything is excellent and under control. We’re all good. I can’t even focus. I don’t know where to start. I’m not functioning very well. If that’s the case, that’s probably depression. You don’t recognize it sometimes. It’s depression that’s holding you back. If that’s the case, we can talk about that. Give me a call and reach out to see if you need some encouragement around that.

Most of us are probably in one of these other categories, which is why we never finish what we start or we’re not setting boundaries at all or we recognize the need for boundaries or setting them but not enforcing them and everything is under control. It’s the way we want to end up in our journey towards leaving a significant legacy. A legacy is what I call intentional significance. We’re going to leave a legacy no matter what.

Legacy Building

I clicked on something that showed up and it’s like within three generations, nobody will remember you as a person alive. They will only remember your legacy but what he said and I thought this was interesting. Even the people that are holding you back now, the people that you think are so important won’t be here either and they won’t be remembered. Get over yourself. Get your legacy out there and do what you need to do. Be who you need to be. Live a life of intention so you’ll have significance.

Get over yourself and get your legacy out there. Do what you need to do, who you need to be, and live a life of intention. Share on X

We’re going to talk a little bit more about that in a bit. We started out our workshop with little exercise about who I am and what I do and trying to keep it very short and sweet and limited because every word matters. We talked a lot about every word mattering. If you listen to me much, you know I talk about it because it’s the truth. No one will hold you hostage and make you do the work. You get to choose. I call it, there’s no fairy godmother. From some people’s perspective, maybe there is.

Are you in a situation where you change the toilet paper roll every single time? You refill the Q-tips. You wipe the counters every single time. People come in and think that the fairy godmother’s been here. I did a lot of that with my kids when they were small because first of all, it’s probably easier to get her to travel, coming in, having three kids and three step kids. All the things we did trying to be super moms. I’m not sure it was the best serving that I could have done for my family.

Core Values And Virtues

They did certainly have to do certain things but overall, I think I did a disservice by being the fairy godmother, so to speak. You get to choose. As an adult, not so much. You get to choose your legacy. To me, it’s important that you understand that it is a choice. You can think of things. People that left amazing legacies. Who do you think has left Zig Ziglar? Good legacies and it was by choice. We did a legacy message extraction exercise. We won’t go through all that but we worked on core values. This is huge to me.

I mentioned values. I use values and virtues virtually in exchange. Interchangeable. We had pulled up and talked about Aristotle. He had twelve virtues that he lived by or he chose to promote in his work. The language has shifted over the decades and centuries because his values, some of them cross over into mine. Courage is one of my values but he has magnanimity. He’s got modesty, which is a good value, temperance, liberality, patience, wittiness, friendliness, shame, and justice. I like justice but shame is not a value that I would choose in this day and age because of the definition.

It’s worth checking out his definitions on the virtues. We’ve got Tom Ziglar. Tom Ziglar is Zig Ziglar’s proud son, the late Ziglar. He’s got some core value. He’s very intentional about his legacy and his words. In one of the leadership courses, I suppose that they offer ten leadership virtues.

I want you to think about this. If this was your boss or you’re the boss and you have these virtues, selflessness, standing firm, self-control, and humility. I’m going to talk about that in a minute. Looking for the best. How about if you were always looking for the best in the person instead of what’s wrong? What’s right instead of what’s wrong. Never giving up, perseverance, kindness, being the light, respect, and positivity.

Those are pretty cool values or virtues for someone in a leadership role or for anyone. Especially a leader that has humble leadership. That’s one of my core values. You see the Zurvita. Zurvita is a company, a network marketing company that I’ve been with since 2008. 2008 was their official launch. I have been with them because of their three core values. One of their core values is humble leadership. Nobody gets greedy at the top. It’s the next man up.

How can I make a difference for you? Everyone empties the trash. Nobody is better than the other person. We all just win. We’re always looking for the win for everyone. We don’t get arrogant. Humble leadership is a very huge core value for me and authenticity. Be real. Everyone is real when you’re authentic. We’re all authentic. We are you but that word has become overused.

Be real or be you. Nobody else can be you. Relentless aren’t real. Relentless expression. Authentic love is a nice acronym for real. Integrity is the umbrella over all other values and virtues honoring your word. It’s a huge value, virtue, and honoring your word, meaning, say what you mean, mean what you say, do what you say and when you don’t because you won’t always. When you don’t, you go, “I said I was going to do this. I’m so sorry I didn’t. I’m going to make a new agreement. Now I’m going to honor my word.”

Own up to it, move forward and do better. That’s it. How can we do better? Bold, faith, no fear and outrageously courageous. That’s one of my values. We discussed it a great deal in the workshop because who I say I am is bold, faith, and no fear. When I got a gun in my head and had the test, I had no fear. I stepped towards it and said, “You need love because every word matters and who I have said I am for many years is who I am is bold, faith, no fear, and outrageously courageous.”

I’m more about that story in my next book, forthcoming book, and leave things better than you found them. My mama said, “Make the world a better place. Do nice for the next person. Be kind.” I’ve said this fairly regularly, “If you leave anything versus another human being on the face of the earth to clean up after you, to fix after you, and you leave it for someone else to wipe up after you.”

Whatever it is, then shame on you. If another human being has to clean up after your mess, if it’s not their job. It’s very important to me. My mindset when I leave and walk out the door is, “How can I make a difference?” It’s not, “What’s in it for me? It’s not my job. Somebody else will do it.” If I can control something, if I can make it better, I’m going to do it. I’m going to wipe that wet sink off in the bathroom are those kinds of things.

Leave things better than you found them. Make the world a better place. How can I make a difference in the world? Those are my core values, examples. We’re talking virtues here, honesty, kindness, humility, and generosity. Unconditional love is my core value, respect. Fun’s a value of mine, too. I always want to have some fun. Why not?

Definition Of Legacy

We did some exercises that helped us bring out who I am and what I want. I believe they were very impactful, too. If you ever get a chance to listen to my workshop or take that course, it’ll be valuable for you. We talked about legacy before. Legacy is, “They left me a million dollars in the will.” That’s their legacy in certain ways but legacy goes much broader than that. I’m going to tell you or read to you Tom Ziglar’s definition of legacy. I’ve heard him say it multiple times. This is so deep. It’s, “When you teach and transfer the habits, that will build character, integrity and wisdom that will ripple through eternity. Learn to transfer your legacy by design. Not a chance.”

That rippling through eternity is the vision of what you want to leave. Zig Ziglar will be remembered for decades or centuries like Aristotle because of his intentional legacy that is rippling. It goes back to teach and transfer the habits. Tom Ziglar’s definition of success or the way to get successful and fastest way is to transfer bad habits for good habits. What if you change every so often and adjust something that may not be serving you well? I believe you’ll find a great deal of satisfaction from doing that.

The Charla Anderson Show | Legacy Building
Legacy Building: The fastest way to get successful is to change bad habits for good ones.
Rippling through eternity is the vision you want to leave in the world. Share on X

We talked a little bit about what do you want? Where are you headed? What is your big goal? Are you working on a plan? Do you want to start a business? You’re going to write a book. You need a show, declutter your house and be a guest speaker. Travel and spread your life into the world. What is your idea to be inspiring to the next person or the next generation? Do you know where you need to set better boundaries?

We created a legacy template, a message template and worked a little bit on that. I’m like, “I’m Charla and I’m a legacy builder. We’re going to build my legacy by writing the next chapter in my book. I will focus and honor my core values of courage, encouragement, and positivity to create a space by setting boundaries, letting my home and limiting maybe some family interruptions.” We’ll see.

Legacy Builder Society

You can go broadly on that and create a legacy. Once again, if the shorter, more concise and deeper it can go, the more real and authentic it will feel. I’m considering and I have some plans here to create a legacy builder society. It’s a boundary keeper community. Those of us that want to have accountability and a communication or a community of support around in question and loving people through the curiosity of this world we’re in and this confusion, so to speak.

How can we support one another? When the tide rises, all the boats rise. We want to keep all of us in this win-win-win environment and in this win-win-win world and make a difference every time you step outside the door. My dream and my goal when I leave, get outside, speak to you, it’s like how can I make a difference? How can I let my light shine? How can I be kinder? How can I love the people that are hard to love? The harder they are to love, the more they need it.

You hear me all the time say, conditional love and unconditional forgiveness. If you want a satisfied life, you need unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness but not unconditional boundaries. That’s why we’re setting boundaries so we don’t allow ourselves to be pushed around as much. We do need to be aware of what they are.

We can keep our feet on the ground and keep sanity. When I say the harder people are to love, the more they need it. Sometimes it’s may you be blessed and send blessings regardless of who they are, even the ex. You don’t have to let them in your life, but you can let them be blessed. A master is one who blesses. I want you to know that.

When I heard that, I was like, “That makes me a master because that’s what I do. May you be blessed.” They cut you off, may you be blessed. Continue understanding that this legacy builder society is going to be coming around and being something I believe we’re going to weave into my world and my life. I’d love to include you on that. It will probably be a membership program for those of us that enjoy the positive values, the positive ticking of building our legacy and making sound choices and understanding that when we mess up.

Closing Words

Which as I said in integrity, we will. There’s no doubt about it. We’re certainly not perfect. I’m not going to belabor this very long now, but I would love to hear from you. I would love to start having sponsors for my show. You can pay me a million dollars or a billion to advertise something that I don’t believe in or to sponsor something I don’t believe in.

If I do believe in it like NTU, I want to tell people about it. It’s like the change, the book series with Les Brown. I want others to experience the beauty of this community that is being built around the change book series. It’s phenomenal and extraordinary. All these things that I am passionate about, if you reach out to me. Most of them have an affiliate or referral and that would be great for me. It would also be great for you if you love it.

I have another program of unbelievable helping your social media and things like that. There’s so many things. When I love and know and love, I want to share it. That’s always what I want to do. I want to share things that I know, things that I love, things that I believe will benefit the world and benefit you. That’s who I am. It truly is.

I am grateful that you chose to join me here on the show. Like and connect with your fascinating people. We’re all fascinating. If you have a story to tell, you might reach out to me as well. Everybody has a story, that’s the truth. Everyone has a story. Some are a little bit more impactful than others but there’s still stories. Reach out if you want to tell yours on my show.

I’m open. I’ve got a rolling calendar out there. I got some dates that are in July now that are open. Join me. I’m looking forward to continuing being here with you and for you and to expanding the message of hope and sharing wisdom. These silver hairs, I got them the hard way. I’m willing to share, chat and love you through these unsteady times. That’s pretty much who I am.

Find me on CharlaAnderson.com. I’ve talked about Crouse Platform Academy and George. We are upgrading that. As we speak, I’m looking forward to seeing some new content where you can get my products and all the things that I love in that one space. My closing is I always say, “Choose joy.” Often, I would say, by the way, you are perfect exactly who and where you are. Your circumstances aren’t you. You are loved by God exactly who and where you are. There’s nothing you can be due to be loved more or less. I want you to hear that and receive it. You’re divine in who you are. When you start receiving it, then you begin realizing it and sharing that. Sharing your life with the world. I’m grateful for you. Once again, always choose joy.

You are loved by God exactly who and where you are. There is nothing you can do to be loved more or less. Share on X

Important links:

I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torch bearer, personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, Published Author and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion of living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

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