Overcoming Shame With Terilee Harrison

The Charla Anderson Show | Terilee Harrison | Overcoming Shame


Terilee Harrison’s vision is to help one million people overcome shame. How? BRI Talks – BOLD. REAL. IMPACTFUL. She’s a coach, global speaker, and author who wants YOU to tell your story.


Watch the episode here


Listen to the podcast here


Overcoming Shame With Terilee Harrison

Good beautiful day, beautiful souls. This is Charla Anderson, host of the show, collector and connector of fascinating people, and every one is fascinating, especially YOU! Thank you for joining me. We’re on an incredible Win Win Women platform. I have an incredible guest. I’m telling you, we’re everywhere and we’re in season two. This is episode nine of season two already. It’s pretty amazing how fast time is going. What do you think? I can’t wait to introduce you to Terilee Harrison, my newest best friend and mentor. First, let’s do our breathing exercise. It’s a little 22-second mini vacation. We’re going to breathe in calm for seven seconds. We’re going to hold for four. We’re going to breathe out gratitude for eleven seconds. Ready to go? Breathe in some calm with me. Hold. Release. Thank you.

Here we go. I met Terilee on March 1st. She was a guest at my event for International Women’s Day, sponsored by Win Win Women at my home. Elian, one of the other show hosts, brought Terilee. I immediately fell in love. She’s precious and so impactful in my life. I’m so grateful to have you. Thank you for joining me, Terilee.

I’m so happy to be here. I appreciated that 22 seconds. I needed that.

Looking Back

We’re so techie, involved, and so busy. We’re on to the next thing all the time and there’s no reason not to take a few seconds and take a deep breath. Remember to be in gratitude and in everything give thanks. That’s part of the lesson here. I am amazed at what you’ve created since March 1st. The next week, we went to see Kelly Lord and her book launch. She’s the singing book author. This is amazing and we went to that together and got to spend time together and got to know her. You said, “I’m going to have a new program and I’m starting it now.” You launched it within a month. It’s called BRI Talks. Terilee, first of all, tell us a little bit about who you are in this world, and then we’ll talk about what you do.

Who I am? I am a child of God, a wife, a mother, and a Nana. I know you love being a grandma too.


The Charla Anderson Show | Terilee Harrison | Overcoming Shame


I’m a Nana.

I’m the third Nana in my family coming down the line. I wanted to be Nana, but then when I became Nana, what an honoring place to be to take your turn. I love serving people. I will say that in my life, up until the time I was 50, I lived in two places but then I started doing ministry work with my husband. We go where we get called to and where God calls us to. Life’s been an adventure ever since we started doing that. I love being global. I love that more than I ever thought I would.

I know you’ve lived in Singapore. Not everybody can say that.

It’s still a surprise to me. It’s like, “Did that happen?”

You’re in Texas now, and the best place of all. Ask us. You jumped in. You’ve been here, how many years now?

In Texas? We returned from Singapore two years ago. We’re coming up on almost two years. We were to Houston first, but then we came up to Arlington the day after Christmas. We’ve been here a few short months.

Also, in North Texas. You’ve only been here since Christmas time. You jumped in and you’re in every networking group. My dear friend Jim Austin, you’re in a TV show or a show with him. You didn’t let any grass grow under your feet.

I don’t always do that. In Houston, I still came in from the post-COVID. I was doing online networking. I did not go out and get active in Houston. I was ready. Also, I think it’s different. We knew we were going to have involvement in the community and I didn’t want to waste time. That was a lot of the impetus. It was like, “Let’s go do it.’ I haven’t done it. I’m ready but anybody can make that choice anytime.

BRI Talks

It’s all choices. Your husband is a pastor and a minister. You are a preacher’s wife and you are doing incredible work in the community and have a passion. You have a passion for, as you said, serving as I do. You have a passion for helping people get their story out, get past shame and guilt, and tell your story. Your story is very unique in my world. We’ll talk about that too. You created a whole course. What do you want to call it? It’s called BRI Talks, bold, real, and impactful. It’s an offshoot of TED Talks that you’re trying to make more real and allow people to tell their stories from a stage and train them how to do it. Is that it?

It comes from all the things I’ve loved to do and all the things I’m good at. Someone took a look who knows me. It’s a global speakers community. It’s for faith-based business owners, entrepreneurs, and non-profit leaders. This person who has known me for several years. She says, “This is so you.” Isn’t that the optimum to be able to do what brings you joy and what you’re best at?

It’s an opportunity to be a speaker. If you need some help, you can get training to learn how to network. It’s not one event. It’s ongoing. We’re going to meet each other as business owners and I would love us to be able to do business, meet people, collaborate, refer, and do business. Lastly, way back when I did Toastmasters and it’s not that I was like, “I missed Toastmasters.” In my experience working with speakers as a coach, people love to come and practice for each other.

I’ve included Story Power Hour, where our members can come and practice their speech for their peers for me and get some positive, honest, and loving feedback. All these things combined, I want it to be a place where people who are newbies speak. People who want another platform to speak can come. I want it to be a community where they’ll stay because they love it and they’ll tell all their friends.

The Charla Anderson Show | Terilee Harrison | Overcoming Shame
Overcoming Shame: I want it to be a place for newbies to speaking. I want it to be a community where they can stay because they love it.


For you to have launched it, you’ve had the idea for a long time. Your vision and mission are to help at least a million people get past their shame and tell their stories. Speak on that a bit because that’s precious.

I was guided. Some of you may or may not know, a sales trainer out of Central California named Eric Lofholm, he’s been in my life. He’s been my coach. He’s been someone I enjoyed following and I’ve worked with him for a period of a few years up till pretty recently. Many years ago, Eric was sharing about this vision he had for his life and that you could have a vision.

That’s when I said, many years ago, I said, I want to help over a million people overcome shame in the next 25 years but I didn’t know how I was going to do it. I published my story. I published a book and was doing some speaking about this is my story but I had no clue what I was doing. I took that vision and I set it aside. I recently found it because I had put it in my Facebook cover photo. I went back ten years to find it.

There it was and I was like, “There it is,” but then I was a very local person, meaning we live like an hour above Los Angeles. Our community was about 600,000 people. I was very local. At the time, I was with business owners but not with speakers. Everything has all fallen into place so that we can work through our story a bit, tell our story, the whole thing, and be global now. I say I was a pioneer in online networking before COVID and I was.

We’re already a global community as we get ready to officially launch but I’m not afraid to say it’s global because I know it will be and it already is. It’s exciting. I thank God for the experience. I thank him for his patience in me studying it aside but he knew I needed some tools. I needed some tools and experience to go do this in a big way.

You’ve got the logo. You’ve got the website. It came together so quickly, which when things are when, when you’re obedient and things are ready, it’s not hard. We can press an easy button. I believe so many people including myself often, it’s so hard. It’s going to take a lot of work. If it’s right, it doesn’t generally speaking.

That is so true. I will say this also, I don’t do this by myself. My team isn’t huge but I have like an amazing virtual assistant that’s in the Philippines, Bles. I’m going to give her a shout-out. She’s one of our Bible school graduates from the time when my husband was a dean at a Bible college in Singapore. Bles has been with them for almost four years and you know why. It’s because we had built these things before, we have all the foundation to go. I’m so grateful because otherwise, it is more challenging. That is not an accident.

The technology piece is often so daunting. There are a lot of moving parts to starting something. I know May is your launch month and you’ve already had webinars about it. You’ve already got people enrolling and engaged. I’m so proud of that. That’s beautiful. It’s a great example for some of us for sure. I feel like you’re blessing me personally in a way that is priceless and being a friend and mentor. It’s amazing to me. Thank you for that.

I’m very grateful for you. I’m grateful to have met you on March 1st. I’m grateful you hosted that event. I’m grateful Elion decided with two days left to invite me. I might have missed it. We wouldn’t be here. I don’t think we’d be here.

That’s probably the truth. I wouldn’t have known you were with Jim Austin. All of that came together beautifully. We want to have a reunion at that event, don’t we?

We’re ready.


I want to broach the shame topic. You told your story and you said you wrote a book about it in 2013. You’ve had a lot of years now of exposure to something that you are very ashamed of and not proud of. Can you think of anybody in the eight billion people on this planet Earth who has not done something that they wish they hadn’t done that they are ashamed of or have guilt over? Is there any soul that does it?

We’re not alive on the planet today. The thing is we don’t talk about it.

I wanted to ask that question, who doesn’t have something? Something that is a common theme in my words is, can we change any of it? Can we go back? How much wishful thinking does it take for me to be able to change what happened before? My way of saying is, where I am is all I have. I don’t have the last second, last minute, last year, or last generation. I only have this second and the next one. Not the last one. Food for thought for people who are so hiding these things that happen to them or they are ashamed of, if you don’t like it, tell yourself a different story. You get to choose. You don’t have to dwell in those secrets or in that muck of the past.


The Charla Anderson Show | Terilee Harrison | Overcoming Shame


We’re all affected by it. For some of us, it affects us more than others. Shame can be personal. What might happen to you that you might think is no big deal, to me, it could be this life-altering thing. We’re not talking about it, so we don’t necessarily know. Sometimes some of us can determine our life based on what happened to us and how we handled it.



I was one of those people. Someone I care about was telling me in one of the intro videos that I had out. It was like, “You can hold back a little on your story. You don’t have to the thing.” If anyone looks me up, they’re going to find it. I’m not ashamed of it anymore. I’m like, “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.” What did I write down? Less personal video. Get a little bit personal.

You throw it out there. What you were most ashamed about was something you had no control over. You were born.

I spoke at my church and this is how I said it, which is true, “I was born with an underdeveloped reproductive tract. I found out when I was about twelve years old and I was ready to start my period and there was no place for the blood to go. I had to have surgery to begin starting my period.” How’s that? Does that explain it?

Pretty much. Except there’s the word.

I was born without a vagina.

That’s like, “Really? Never heard of that.” You took that on personally that you couldn’t function or that you thought you were not enough. You weren’t good enough. We all have something that happens to us that we think we’re not good enough. Every single person I do believe ends up with that somewhere. Sometimes, it’s somebody said a word or whatever but you embraced that you weren’t good enough.

How it was presented to me things from doctors like, “Your daughter looks like a museum inside. It appears she was a twin and the egg hadn’t split.” At the time, we didn’t have the internet. We couldn’t go and look up things. At twelve, I check on it. It was different than all the other girls. People had all kinds of horrendous things happen in their life.

I didn’t need anyone to abuse me or hurt me with their words. That was enough for me at twelve. I could not deal. I did not deal and I shoved it all deep inside. I couldn’t tell. I was in sixth grade. I didn’t tell my best friend why I went off and had surgery. I could go on. My parents did the right thing. They didn’t want people making fun of me. Some people are tuning in and they can relate.

I have a good one for you and it’s too bad like why can’t the word vagina be as normal as nose, toes, and hand? Unfortunately, in my case, it seems like it’s so personal. There are people born without a hand and without things. Part of the difference is on some of us, I knew but nobody else knew so we’ll get the shame. I have someone in my life, she’s amazing. I can’t wait for you to meet her. She has beautiful dark brown skin, but people told her it was too dark and how ugly she was. She’s a beautiful woman. There’s the shame that no one else knows. There’s a shame you feel like everybody sees. We need to learn what to do with it because we carry it.



I’ve thought about this. I have this incredibly beautiful little perfect granddaughter. I’ve thought about it over the years. She is not what she looks like. She is not who she looks like. I had thought years ago that if somebody was born without a hand or what we would call a defect or not perfect. None of us are perfect. What if we could teach our children the esteem building? You’re created so uniquely. More unique than anybody else that you know. Somehow or another, created a uniqueness and a specialty and more difference. We’re all different. No two are the same. What if we could do that? Wouldn’t that lift some of the shame a little bit you would think?

I would certainly hope so. I think that being able to have people speak into that if we would speak up and say, “I’m struggling with this.’ I don’t know my friend with dark skin how much she talked about it. We take that stuff and we pull it in. I don’t know that we have healthy conversations about those things.

Certainly not in the past.

We could change the dialogue.

We can now. We’ve got a platform to do it now. Your platform BRI Talks is about teaching them how to share their story so that we can relate with each other. By the way, when you said sixth grade, I believe junior high is the worst place to be on the face of the earth.

It was the worst time for anything like that to happen.

Everything’s changing anyway in your bodies and your pimples. All that stuff. Everybody is incredibly self-conscious and we all think the other kids are cool and have it all together, which nobody does. The popular kids don’t either.

Do you know what some of it is too? We feel alone and isolated in our things. If we only could realize that we aren’t and it doesn’t have to be that way because that’s a huge piece of it. You feel like nobody else is going through this. It’s just me.

My little tiny book, Candy Bar Hugs, was primarily to my kids in a way. It was like, “I did what I did and I didn’t do what I didn’t do. I did all that I knew to do with what I knew at the time,” as you did and are doing in your life now. I love you and I called it a forgiveness release in a way like, “We’re only doing all we know to do with what information we have at any given time right this second. Since let there be light, everything in the universe has been orchestrated for you and me to be having this conversation right here, right now.”

There’s no infinite number of things. Your grandparents couldn’t have may have not met or anything could have changed where we’re not having this conversation now but we are, so we have been divinely guided to create this moment or to enjoy this moment together. When we can start this consideration that we don’t have any other place to be than where we are now. We can’t change any of those other things. It doesn’t make sense for us to take all that stuff in and think we’re so bad. I would love to have that conversation start permeating into the youth and let them know that they are very unique and special, every one of us.

I’m so glad we’re having this because this could be an offshoot of what happens in our community. I think it’s so needed. If we could, I have no idea where you want to take the conversation.

It’s your show. You get to choose.

For me, one of the pivotal things was for 30 years I’ve kept that secret. From 12 to 42, I was not comfortable in my own skin. I wasn’t good enough and how that played out in my life and the choices I made and all the things, was not a good deal but what you said is true. There came a day when I was prompted to think about my childhood while talking to a coach. He was like, “What do you want to work on?” I said, “I’m disorganized. You walk into my house and it’s clean, you need a cupboard and a drawer. We can’t park in our garage. It’s a mess.”

He says, “Tell me about your childhood.” I remember I was at a Starbucks with him and I sucked in my breath. I was like, “He thinks I was abused or something.” There are a lot of people that when you say “Tell me about your childhood” would say that they’ve been mistreated and all the things. That wasn’t the case with me. I said, “I had a lovely childhood.” I did. God bless my grandparents and my parents. Unbelievable how loving, supportive, and amazing they were to me.

I said I was sick a lot and I went to the internet. That’s when I found out that I wasn’t some museum inside when the egg didn’t split. I had a condition 1 in 5,000 women have and they’re not talking about it. It’s my people who are the people who get the uterus transplants if you see them on the news sometimes. For me, realizing I wasn’t alone was a huge deal. It was a humongous deal for me. As I kept looking, that’s when I began to realize that the people with MRKH syndrome, are named after the four doctors that found it. They don’t find out when they’re twelve and ready to start a period.

They find out later in their teen years in those awkward years when they’re not starting a period then they will find out they also don’t have a uterus. They’re not having a period at all and they find out in their early to mid-teens that they’re infertile. I came to realize that in my case here, while everything doesn’t look right, I had enough reproductive system to birth to children. This is not part of the deal. I was able to transform my belief from being not good enough to being junked all this time to being a miracle and I had no idea. It’s these types of things that if we can search it out and find the truth. You have to be ready for the truth but if we can shift our thinking, our life, our confidence, and how we show up.

The Charla Anderson Show | Terilee Harrison | Overcoming Shame
Overcoming Shame: Be ready for the truth by shifting our thinking, our life, our confidence, and how we show up.


How we serve. You’re brave and courageous to have written a book about that and been able to open that conversation for so many. Do they have a society?

These days, they have meetings and a Facebook group but then we didn’t know. It’s amazing now that they can find out sooner. They have talks because one of the worst things is the psychological issues with it. Not just the physical, the things you go through, and how you deal with it.

There are lots of surgeries and stuff like that.

All those things because it’s kidney issues, scoliosis issues, and the reproductive stuff. A lot is happening for these ladies.


You have a husband that accepts you and loves you. You have done ministry and he supports what you’re doing now, telling your story. That says a lot. I’ve had a divorce. I’ve not had what I would consider a perfectly clean past but I wanted to be heard when I got down to what was not working and I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be heard for what I was saying, which is often jumbled, and also for what I wasn’t able to able to say. It sounds like you have a partner that truly gets you and supports your work.

He is a blessing. He wrote the foreword when I wrote my book many years ago. Some people are like, “Why would you want to let her?” He goes, “It’s not about letting her. I don’t think I could stop her.” I feel so compelled because I believe God made everything. That means God made me and I feel so compelled that he made me a miracle. Now I didn’t catch on for a long time, but this is a story to be shared. I had no idea in the beginning about the message of shame, but that is the message. I’m ready to begin talking about it in a way that it allows others. People will say, “If Terilee can talk about her vagina, I can talk about my such-and-such.” That’s okay with me. The truth is, I have one now. I’m good now. It’s been for a while.


The Charla Anderson Show | Terilee Harrison | Overcoming Shame


We talked and I said you’re my new best friend. I feel like I’m a collector and connector of fascinating people and you’re one of them. I feel like I attract successful people willing to invest in me as another mantra or declaration I used to say all the time. It is beautifully true. I’m attracting so many amazing people into my life who have talents and gifts that I get to glean from. I’m grateful for that with you. Terilee, your website is TerileeHarrison.com and your husband is Terry, which is fun, Terilee and Terry. I bet you get played with around that.

We get played with a lot because he’s Terry Lim. Our legal documents and all our important stuff are a good time.

Moving Forward

That’s great. It’ll be fun to meet him at some point. Let’s get this on the table here what you’re doing with this BRI Talks and how does that look moving forward?

I think that would be awesome. Many of us know faith-based business owners and entrepreneurs or how about people running amazing nonprofits? This is for somebody who knows they have a story like, “I felt so called to tell my story.” There are people like that who feel this calling so deep. It might be for someone. We are talking to two different audiences and one of them is an audience that may not even know they have a story. They may not know they want to speak, but yet they realize how they do.

It can be that you have your story. It can be that you have your cause you want to share with the world in the most impactful way. It could be that you have a method. I know you have an amazing story, Charla but it could be that you want to share some of your awesome strategies about boundaries with the world. You can come in and share, “This is who I am in an impactful way. This is my strategy.” To get a beautiful video for a website of your most impactful talk.

There’ll be online stages and in-person stages. Truly, though, it is a community. It’s going to be networking. coming together, and practicing our speeches. It’s speaking training. I’ve created a community before and I’m excited. Someone said to me, “Will it be the same people?” There could be some of them, but there’s going to be a lot of new people too because this is a whole new concept. This is not plain networking. There are some very unique aspects to this community. I want you to think about TED Talks and if I could promote your business and speak your message in the most impactful way for these people, what that might look like. That’s what this is going to be.



I’m pretty sure most people don’t realize that TED Talks are so restrictive. You cannot promote a business, advertise, and have sponsors. You can’t have any of those things. Win-Win Women was going to do a TED Talk and that’s where my event came up. We want to have some events but we want to be a sponsor. We want to have our name out there. We want to promote it and I didn’t know that.

It’s the crux. Maybe people don’t know that when you apply, you have to fit your message into their thing. We’re not here to bash it, everybody.

I think it’s been amazing.

We have great respect for the TED Talks. Extreme respect. They have like 40 million subscribers, I believe is what I’ve heard. Great respect, but yet, this is a platform that will meet the needs of a lot of people. I’m delighted to bring it to the world. I’m delighted that I love myself enough to want to stand up and bring it to the world. I’m delighted that I have the experience to be able to do this. I thank God for all he’s done for me. I don’t want to keep quiet about it anymore. I’m on a mission now. I’ve got enough people to help for fifteen years now. I’m behind.

You got it though. You have the talent. You talked about the experience, but this is what you’ve been doing anyway. You’ve been working with Eric Lofholm. He’s a top trainer and I believe you match him. You’re stepping into something that I’m excited about too. You’re so enthusiastic and your passion truly is expressed. Your gifts are being used. Isn’t that beautiful?

I wish this for everyone. I was made for this. It took me 57 years to get here but I know I was made for this. I wish that for more people they could sit in there.

 The sweet spot. This is what I do. This is who I am. Here I am in my 70s. I’m looking at stepping into a little bit bigger role myself by having a workshop on boundaries and building legacies. You’ll get more information about that as we go. That’s launching for me as well to be an author and a co-author in The Change book series with Les Brown. I submitted my chapter. This is a game-changer if you ask me. Anybody that might want to have their picture on the cover of a book with Les Brown. The highest level of mentoring, masterminding, and marketing training comes along with it. If anybody is interested in that, let me know.

I’m so happy for you with the things you have going on. It’s amazing. amazing.

Closing Words

There’s a lot. My saying is, “When intriguing opportunities present themselves and you say yes, things show up.” The world starts opening up because you’ve taken an action, take in a step, grasping at that dream to be able to exponentially.” It starts happening fast when you know and when you’re in the flow. We’re going to wind it up. Do you have any last words of wisdom, advice, or invitations? How do you want to leave it with us?

I would love to leave them information on how to find BRI Talks and that’s to go to LetsTalkBRI.com. If I can leave the audience with anything in the theme of this whole discussion, it’s that I want you to always remember that you were good enough, you matter, and you are loved.

You are always good enough. You matter and you are loved. Share on X

I say that at the end of many of my shows. Not all of them but I’m like, “You’re perfect exactly who and where you are now. There’s nothing you can do to be loved more or less by God. He loves you. You’re loved and it’s time to love yourself enough. Learn to love yourself enough to receive that so that you can be more of a blessing to others.”

I say that in a lot of my shows. I feel like it’s the truth. You can’t do anything. There’s nothing you can do to be loved more or less by God because if God is love, he can’t be not love. He loves you. All of us have something we’re ashamed of and wish we hadn’t done, but he doesn’t see that now. He loves you because he created you as you are and get over yourself. Get over your small self. What about that?

I like that.

Terilee, thank you so much for joining me. I adore you and I’m beyond gratified that you’re taking me on as a project too.

A mutual admiration society here.

You bet you. Thank you for joining us. I always lend my show with the words, always choose joy.


Important Links


About Terilee Harrison

The Charla Anderson Show | Terilee Harrison | Overcoming ShameTerilee Harrison’s vision is to help over 1 million people overcome shame in the next 15 years.

She is a Speaker Coach specializing in Speaker Business Development, a Global Speaker, and the author of numerous books including Bold Vulnerability: Maximize Your Impact As a Speaker (launching Summer 2024).

Terilee is the Founder of BRI Talks – Bold. Real. Impactful. – a global speaker platform and community for faith-based business owners, entrepreneurs and non-profit leaders to share their story, cause or method in the most impactful way.

She loves serving in ministry beside her husband, Terry, wherever in the world that God calls them. Terry and Terilee are currently serving in Arlington, Texas. Together they have 4 children and 2 granddaughters.


I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torchbearer, a personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, a Published Author, and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion for living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

Everything Charla: https://CharlaAnderson.com/links/

Live show every Wed at 1 pm CT.

https://WinWinWomen.tv/show/the-charla-anderson-showThe WATCH Button turns green at 12:58 to join the live show. Also streamed on Roku, Amazon Fire, and Apple TV.

All replays are on my website, https://CharlaAnderson.com/tv-shows/

Become YOUR Show Host: https://WinWinWomen.com/ref/Charla

Build your website with amazing support: https://CoursePlatformAcademy.com/cpacharla/

Nutrition, Energy, Health, Vitality, Focus, Collagen, Brain Health: https://www.Zurvita.com/charla/en/us/

CBD: https://www.ZBlendsHemp.com/charla/en/us/


Collector & Connector of Fascinating People... & everyone is Fascinating!  Sharing Encouragement, Courage, Inspiration, Smiles & Hugs to Leave OUR World a Better Place.

TV SHOW ~ SEASON 2 - Join me Every Wed at 1pm CT on BE EMPOWERED Channel 


Get notified
as soon as it is available



That's it for now.

While waiting, check one of my courses already available in the library!

Scroll to Top