Overcoming Childhood Trauma With Sharon F Taylor

The Charla Anderson Show | Sharon F Taylor | Childhood Trauma

 

How often does it take a tragic incident to jolt us into facing our past and childhood trauma? Sharon F Taylor has a story to tell, from her life-altering car accident, writing ‘Hold My Hand,’ to becoming a dream advocate.

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Overcoming Childhood Trauma With Sharon F Taylor 

This is show number 47. I’m mind-boggling about that as we end the first month of 2024, which is another mind-boggling thing going on with me. I want to welcome you. Thank you for joining me. I have a wonderful guest, and I cannot wait to introduce you to Sharon Taylor. Before we do that, we’re going to have a little breathing exercise. It’s going to take 22 seconds to breathe and seven seconds of calm. We’re going to hold for four seconds and breathe out eleven seconds of gratitude.

Will you join me on that so we can get centered? I can get centered and get this going. Let’s take a slow, deep breath in, breathing in calm. Hold and release. Thank you. That’s my way to get us centered and be off the crazy media thing that was going on often. We’re connected to our devices. We’re not connected to our spirit, heart, ourselves, and getting grounded. I highly recommend doing that multiple times a day.

I have a fellow author that I’ve met through Michael Butler and Beyond Publishing. She is getting ready to launch a book called Hold My Hand, and it’s so much more than meets the eye. Sharon Taylor has joined me as an author, a celebrated nurse for many years, and a server in our world. Thank you so much for joining me. I would love it if you would speak about who you are, and we’ll talk about what you do and how you serve the world. Thank you for joining me.

Thank you so much for having me here. I’m excited to be here and to share my story.

We’ll talk about where you are, who you are, and all the amazing things that are happening in your world.

 

The Charla Anderson Show | Sharon F Taylor | Childhood Trauma

 

My life story is one of strength, resilience, and a commitment to my family, career, and personal growth. I’m here in South Carolina. I’ve been in nursing for several years. I love what I do. My journey wasn’t always easy, but I persevered and pushed through. I would like to convey a message to all of you to let you know that you are not alone. No matter your age or where you are in life, you’ll face some struggles. My struggle was abandonment and shame, but I found the strength to transform and heal. Don’t ever give up on any of your dreams.

No matter your age or where you are in life, you will face some kind of struggle. Use them to find your strength to transform. Don’t ever give up on your dreams. Click To Tweet

As far as my story, I was forced into a challenge at the age of three. My birth mother died and, therefore, left me with my grandmother, who did the best she could at her age. She was elderly. She raised, showed, and taught me love. Through it all, we still struggled. We faced poverty. I was a Black, young female. How could I make it statistically say that I wouldn’t be that? I didn’t have my parents there.

The Charla Anderson Show | Sharon F Taylor | Childhood Trauma
HOLD MY HAND: Overcoming Abandonment and Shame to Find Strength to Transform

I became pregnant and had a child out of wedlock. All that was heavily weighted against me. Anytime we go through struggles, the weight keeps adding on, and not having someone to talk to, I hold onto a dream. I saw things that I said, “One day, I want to have that. I want to do this for my grandmother. I want to be able to do this for my daughter.” I held onto those dreams. That gave me the strength to propel. I encourage you, even if you fall and make a mistake in life, to try to fall forward. Hold onto something. I’m here.

The title of my book is Hold My Hand. The reason for that is that I believe that we all have someone attached to us or assigned to us in life. When I was a little girl, if someone had asked the hard questions, how could I help you? Things were more in silence. Everyone knew my mom had passed away, but no one talked about it. That bothered and hurt me. I wanted to talk about it, but no one did.

If someone had been there to let me express myself, the weight wouldn’t have been heavy. I’m here to tell you, “Please find someone to talk to.” I encourage all of us to find a mentor, someone we respect, that you can feel confident sharing your information with us and open yourself. You can’t live your best life until you have released some of the things that’s been bothering you.

The Charla Anderson Show | Sharon F Taylor | Childhood Trauma
Childhood Trauma:  Find a mentor that you can feel confident sharing information with or opening up to. You cannot live your best life until you release some of the things that are bothering you.

 

I always wanted to be a nurse. It’s simply because of what happened one day. I was a young girl in middle school. I saw my grandmother suffer a stroke in my presence. I didn’t know what to do. That bothered me. That started my nursing career. It’s something that I dreamed I wanted to be. I took care of my grandmother. I would go to school, come and help take care of her. I’ve always been helping someone.

That’s on my paternal side. That was my paternal grandmother. I took care of her the best I could. There were other family members, but I lived for it. I wanted to because I felt that. I was in the house when it happened. No one else was there. I felt like I let her down. I gave it all I had to take care of her the best that I could at the time. God called her home. My maternal grandmother, who raised me later on in life, had a stroke here. I find myself thrust back into the caregiving role that I took care of both of our grandparents, not knowing that is something my true calling in life.

I know I wanted to be a nurse, but now I know that’s my true calling because a few years ago, I was involved in a fatality. It was me on a motorcycle. It was a devastating day. I don’t know how many of you know that things can happen in a split second. I see a child. I see your book there that says, “Split second transformation.” That’s how life is. My grandmother immediately had a stroke. My second grandmother had a stroke. I worked as a nurse, taking care of others. At the same time, as I was providing care and trying to help others heal, I was hurting on the inside.

The background of your story is amazing. What I was thinking about was there’s so much to every one of us more than meets the eye. We are going about our business. What I know about you is because of your experience, you wanted to be, and you are a server. I was a flight attendant and a server. We serve others to the detriment of ourselves without recognizing that we’re not taking care of ourselves. It takes something tragic.

You said that horrific accident shifted the way you’re in a split second. My book Split-Second Transformation, Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices, can be words or situations. I completely change the trajectory of who you are or where you are. You’ve suffered through a lot of things. What I’ve noticed is there’s not one of us walking this face of this earth that doesn’t have trials, tragedies, and traumas that we must overcome.

I wrote this when I was reading and trying to figure out who you were that I wanted to project out to my world. I said you’re a dream advocate and mentor because you said you want to mentor, you love mentoring, and you want people to find their dreams. You’ve got a book called Hold My Hand. You are in the second season of life. I’m 70. You’re a grandmother of five. Many of us are starting over at this later stage. Tell us more about that. Where are you headed? Why are you passionate about helping and mentoring those around you to find their dream and follow them?

That accident was a split second. Everything was in slow motion. I could see my life flash before me. That was horrific that I prayed. God said he chose me. There was work for me to do beyond what I was doing. Therefore, I know that I have to do more. What I can certainly give is my time. I’m a part of a modern-day Esther mentor group. I would love to mentor others. I want to be able to give back. He gave me life to work it to help the kingdom of heaven here on earth. I want to be able to help others meet their full potential. It’s all in God’s timing, but I would’ve done things differently. I had someone to help me. This is what I want to help young ladies. It could be all genders or sexes, but mostly young ladies to help them reach their destiny.

 

 

How are you finding them? Are they finding you?

Both. I don’t know what it’s called. I’ll take my name from my church or wherever I go. I’m not the oldest one in my church, but everyone calls me Mama Sharon. People happen if I am somewhere, the calls will come in, and they want to share their stories. I recall saying, “Why is Mike calling me or asking me questions?” Not knowing that they had seen something in me all along. I have been doing it. I’m not starting it, but the accident made me realize that I have something that I can offer to others. I thank God that I’m able to do it. That’s my press now to give it my all.

I love the idea that people see something in you. I believe that sometimes it’s a choice. It’s who you are. When I chose not, it has been the last few years to say, “Let my light shine. Let me love the people in front of me. Let them feel that love.” They sense it more than they know it and don’t even want to leave. They mangle around. I collect people. My tagline is, “Collector and connector are fascinating people.” There’s a reason for that. I have new friends because we’re in that same space. I’m open to receiving and giving. That sounds like you’ve been practicing that all along without even knowing it.

There are a lot of quotes out there, but there’s a quote by Michael Jordan that I love. It’s like, “Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” You can always find something positive. There are always things that are worse than what you’re going through. Even though you feel that what you’re going through could be awful, it could be a whole lot worse. I would encourage everyone to find a positive in every negative.

There are always worse things than what you are going through. Always find a positive in every negative. Click To Tweet

I call myself outrageously optimistic things. Is everything perfect? No, not even close. People see people and think they have a lot easier lives, but I believe that the one they’re watching is a choice. Things happen. Life happens. I call it life keeps lifeing. A lot has happened already for me. You keep going, and don’t let the external circumstances change who you are because what’s happening isn’t who you are. It’s what you’re dealing with and your character.

How you manage these things that are coming in is defining your character and strength. We’ve got life keeps life. We’re always going to have something to deal with. That might be one of my questions when I get to ask. Why are relationships so hard? We got all this other stuff to deal with. Why can’t we have something easy? Every single thing we do and go through is a test for our testimony.

 

TCAS Sharon F Taylor | Childhood Trauma

 

We go through things to help others. We need to be able to verbalize our testimony and share it because it can be a help to others.

It’s an example. I got through it. You can, too. We are going to do this together. Let’s lock arms. I’ll work with you through it. Part of what you’re looking to do is lock arms, find a way to make a difference and help the next person.

That is my prayer. I ask the Lord to help me speak my truth to help others. Even back then, and some others who may be reading, you want to be able to speak it, but you may be afraid. In my time, it’s my upbringing. If I wanted to seek help, they felt like something was wrong with you. They’re like, “You are strong. It’s okay. Be quiet. Live the life. Don’t tell your story. It’s embarrassing.” There’s another cliché. They say, “Tell the truth. Shame the devil.” I believe that you should go out and speak your truth. Nothing will be holding you back. Go out and share it. Tell it.

 

 

I’ll touch on this piece that you said your mother died, and nobody would talk about it. It’s a non-event that is not helpful in most cases. Have a sounding board or someone who is willing to hear your tears and loss. We aren’t trained to do that. There are not many people who seem to have an innate capacity to be that empathizer and the ears. Sometimes, we don’t need any advice. We need an ear to hear.

It’s not just children and shame. You said you had shame around things, and being a young mother and all of those things that go with that, and you survived. There are things that I think, “How the heck did I get through that?” Here we are. We survived. We are thriving. It’s our job and calling to serve others with our gifts.

Let’s talk about your book. You’re launching this book. I’m excited, and I know how fun it is to have a book launch and to get that word. We want it to be perfect. It can be perfect. There’s no such thing. We want excellence. We can settle for excellence and not perfection. I know you were talking about that. Get that book out there.

It’ll launch on March 30th, 2024. I am excited. It tells the journey and the story of my life. I’m letting others know that they are not alone. Please find someone to talk to. I am here to help hold your hand if you need a sounding board. Speak your truth and find something to hold on to. Never give up on your dream.

The Charla Anderson Show | Sharon F Taylor | Childhood Trauma
Childhood Trauma: If you just need a sounding board, just speak your truth and find something to hold on to never give up on your dream.

 

I wanted to become a nurse. It’s even in my high school yearbook. The first year I went to college was when I found out that I was pregnant. I had to drop out of college, stay home, and take care of my daughter. I still had that desire burning on the inside. That was 1985. I didn’t go back to nursing school until 1999. The Lord has blessed me. After I got married, my husband allowed me to go back to school. My career started off as a CAN and EMT. In ‘99, I went to nursing school for my LPN and, a year later, my RN. It propelled. I kept going.

I’m the regional director of nursing in several states. I’m the senior compliance officer. I have managed four states in my nursing career. That’s why I’m here to tell everyone, “Do not give up on your dream, no matter what obstacles you may find in your way. If you fall again, fall forward, get up, and keep going.” That’s my story. It took me from ‘85 to ‘99, but I made it by the grace of God. I didn’t give up on my dream.

The book is about holding my hand, finding somebody, getting a mentor, and telling your story of overcoming. It’s a legacy for your family. I’m thrilled that you’ve taken that big step. I’m a Zig Ziglar Legacy certified trainer. Every time I saw him, he said, “Have you written your book yet?” He died in 2012. It’s been a long time since I got my book out in 2017. I’ve done two. I’m on the road to three.

We’re going to punch through. One of the things about this TV show that I’ve been doing now has an interactive phase on it. The terminology is tricky. We have a visitor or an audience member that is live on here. Are you okay with her having any questions or wanting to open up and have a discussion with us?

Of course.

Any guests that may be on, if you want to put your video or your audio and, let’s join in our conversation. See if you have anything to share with Sharon and Charla. I haven’t had a lot of visitors that over on my show. Occasionally, I do, but I’m always excited. I want to begin ramping that side up because how can we learn from each other if we don’t share and ask questions? If you’re willing, feel free to jump on at any time, and we’ll continue until I see that you’ve chosen to open your camera. Latoya, how do you know about the show?

I would be the original mentee for Sharon Taylor. I’m her daughter.

What a blessing to have you here to contribute to this conversation. Can I ask a hard question?

You can.

You don’t have to answer it, but there are certain personalities that when they hear got pregnant unexpectedly, and I’m the product of that. What a blessing, first of all. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. Secondly, some people take that as a shame thing and go, “I wasn’t wanted. I misdirected the career.” I don’t believe that that’s you.

No, not at all. It’s the complete opposite. I like hearing my name. Everyone in the world likes hearing their name called. It’s cool to believe that my mother was able to turn a situation around. One of her quotes was like, “Turn negative to positive.” She uses me as an anchor to make sure that she has to accomplish her dream. She doesn’t have a choice because she has this little girl needing her mommy to do her best to make sure that I have. That’s amazing, and I learned a lot from her.

That gave me chills. There’s so much truth in what you’re saying. Everything is a choice. We can choose to turn to be negative or positive. A friend of mine had a young man friend. He decided to stop biting his nails. It’s a choice. We think all these other things have to do, but we can go to split-second transformation. I can change my word now and change my life. If I don’t like where I am because where we are is all we have, I can make a different choice and take my next step.

I wanted to pop on to say that I’m proud of my mother, and I cannot wait to read the book myself from beginning to end. Thank you for having her as a guest on your show.

It’s my pleasure. You’re welcome to hang on. We can have another 5, 10, or 30 minutes if we want to, but I try to close it around 40 minutes. What are you up to now? My middle child is your age. What are your hopes and dreams?

I am married with three children. I have three of her five grandchildren. My hope and dream is to change the world. I know I can do it because of what my mom wanted to do. She’s done it exceedingly. She’s only said limited information here, but she has done more for many others. Seeing her life and knowing her journey, I can do everything I believe I can. As long as I believe I can do it, I will. She did it, and so can I.

You’ve got three other ones that are going to be doing it because you are. This legacy piece is huge. Ziglar was huge on legacy. This legacy piece that you are mentioning started with her grandmother, who took her on. It wasn’t like walking the park to all of a sudden have to raise granddaughter. That isn’t always the simplest thing to do. You do what you have to do. Those with full character continue doing what they have to do. Those who choose not to, I don’t feel like they have a fulfilled life. They’re not fulfilled if they’ve chosen to disregard their responsibilities.

You have no idea how much that makes sense to me. I’m going to jump off, but thank you again for having her and me.

Thank you. You can go off video and stay on if you want to listen. I’m grateful that you joined us. What a treat. She’s beautiful. What a gift to have that legacy behind you, that mistake that happened in 1980.

I’ve shared that story many times with other young ladies. I’m letting them know that it was the act and the actual mistake. Having Latonya is a blessing. It was a gift from God. She knows that. Having her inspired me to continue my dream because I knew I had to take care of her. That’s why I say, “You can always find something to hold onto.”

It’s an act or a moment in time. Women tend to have a lot more obligation to manage those acts that are fun at the moment, but down the road, it’s a lifetime commitment. I’m noodling around on that fact. What do you have to add about that? What would you tell these young people who don’t think it’s any big deal to hop around?

It is tough, hard, and challenging. In my situation, my grandmother reared me. Where the abandonment issue comes from is that my mother passed away, but my father was still there. He didn’t participate or wasn’t there in my life. He didn’t know how to love. He had issues of his own that he was dealing with. I had to learn that later on in life. Growing up, that was another part that was hurting me. It’s the loss of my mother. I felt like my dad also abandoned me. That combination weighed on me.

I was born into poverty. I had my daughter that I had to take care of. It is a big deal. We need to be careful what we say and the things that we do because it’s going to follow us for the rest of our lives. I’m glad that there is a forgiving God to help us get through, but you will still have all of that. At times, you’re going to have those triggers in life where people would say it, or something will pop up that will trigger you. You have to stand firm on your beliefs to keep you strong and grounded. If not, it’s going to take you back to whatever situation you are in.

I pray that you guys will be covered and protected. You have to hold onto faith and believe that you can get through it. Once you get through it, it’s not the end of it. You have to stay positive every day. Believe that you still can overcome because the minute you think you have work, something else is going to pull you back. It’s going to be one of those triggers, but stand strong.

 

 

It’s a value system that I would love to begin instilling a higher level of values and let the youth know that who they are and what they do matters. Set standards for themselves so that they can make better choices.

They have to know their self-worth. You have to know it. It wasn’t until there was a young lady. I was called my first coach, the first person that spoke to my life to help me. I knew that there was always something bothering me in the inside. I knew my mom had passed away and my dad wasn’t in my life, but I didn’t know the word. She said, “Abandonment.” It was like fireworks. I’m scared. A light bulb came on, and I flooded. I say the earth with tears because it seemed like tears never stopped. I kept crying. I was like, “That’s why I didn’t have this. That’s why this happened. That happened. This occurred. It was all because of the abandonment and the shame.

It wasn’t until I got that word and understood what I was dealing with that helped me to overcome it. I mentioned that story. I got a break and a release, but I didn’t continue to embrace that. That’s where those triggers will pull you back. It wasn’t until I had a car accident that I knew what was wrong. After the accident, I got my complete healing.

In Psalms 23, It is like, “He makes you lie down. He makes you slow down and stop. He makes you be still.” That seems relevant to this story. All of us go, and we’re like, “What happened?” It may be a season for rest, recuperation, renewal, and reevaluation. Nobody wishes for some accidents. Nobody wishes for devastation of any sort. It’s inevitable that we will have. Things happen. Life keeps lifeing. We’re going to have a come to Jesus moment where we are going to be like, “Is this all?” There is. In our later career change times, we’re like, “Is this all there is? Me going to work and being a mom.” That question is an undercurrent for a lot of us who are shifting our direction in the later season of life.

It will always go out to the family of the gentleman who died that day. I wanted to say that because that’s a big part of my story.

I used to say it spilled milk. It happened. My sister, who passed, was on my show in December 2023. She was vibrant, beautiful, 80 years old, octogenarian shenanigans, most fun, and had a vibrant day on a Saturday that she ended up having a brain bleeds type stroke during the night. It was tough, but she wouldn’t choose to come back. I don’t think she chose to go, but she certainly wouldn’t choose to come back.

This is the thing that I love when I stop to think about those who have passed forward and moved on. They have no more pain. They’re dancing with angels, and they have all the knowledge. There are no more questions and mysteries. She’s helping and gifting us from the other side. On the show, she’s like, “What I always said to my girls was to build a bridge and get over it.” That’s like my spilled milk. I don’t have a whole lot of people thinking that I’m not emotional about certain things. I don’t suffer or cry a lot. It’s not that I don’t. It is that if there’s nothing I can personally do to change it, let me move on and be the best I can be pushing through it.

I don’t know if that even makes sense. I don’t know why I started saying all that. Nothing you do is going to bring that young man back. Nothing I do is going to bring my sister back. All I can do is continue the legacy of grace or the legacy that they’ve left and continue to bless. I heard that a master’s one who blesses. I said, “That makes me a master.” I’m changing the word to bliss because bliss is a better word than bless.

Are there any last words? How do people find you? I created a little landing page for you. SharonFTaylor.now.site is the landing page. If you want to get in touch with Sharon, that’s an easy way to do it. We’ll build that out better if you want to. It was something to have because I know you don’t have a site yet. Sometimes, it’s handy to have a place to send.

Thank you.

They can put their name in there. Nobody is going to sell your information to us. I wouldn’t even know where to start doing that. The final way to find you is SharonFTaylor.now.site. They call you Mama Sharon because it’s not just Sharon, your name, but it’s sharing, you know, it’s a sharing. I like that to lay on words there. Mama Sharon, any last words? What’s your last call to action or words?

If you fall, fall forward. Get up, keep your dreams alive, and you’re not alone. There’s always someone willing to help you. I am one of those who are willing to help, listen, and encourage you to let you know that you can make it. I did, and so can you.

 

The Charla Anderson Show | Sharon F Taylor | Childhood Trauma

 

I’m grateful for you. Thank you for joining me on my show. I often will say that everyone is fascinating. No matter where you are in your world, in your walk, in your talk, in your life, you can be in the gutter or palace, and you are loved by God. The harder people are to love, the more they need it. When you look at the people around us, the harder people are to love, the more they need it. They don’t know how to love themselves enough.

Your dad perhaps didn’t have the capacity to love himself enough to know how to love you. The generation didn’t have the information that we have now. There are resources out here, no matter where and who you are. I was going to close down this show, and I always want to end up by saying, “Choose joy.”

 

Important links

 

About Sharon F Taylor

The Charla Anderson Show | Sharon F Taylor | Childhood TraumaSharon Fraiser Taylor’s journey is a story of resilience and unwavering determination. Raised by her grandmother, Leila Fraiser, after her mother’s early passing. Sharon’s life was defined by love and support. Inspired by a grandmother with limited formal education but boundless love. Sharon set her sights on a career in nursing.

Graduating from Baptist Hill High School in 1985, she embarked on her education journey at Charleston Southern University (formerly Baptist College). Motherhood came early when she welcomed her daughter in 1986, while also being a foster mom. To support her family, she started as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA), then added an Emergency Medical Technician Certification (EMT).

Leila’s unwavering support allowed Sharon to build a nursing career. In 1999, she married Feldmon Taylor, expanding her family with two sons. With her husband’s support, she returned to school, obtaining a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) degree from Roper School of Practical Nursing, and Registered Nurse (RN) associate degree from Trident Technical College. She also received a Legal Nurse Consultant Certification from Duke University.

Sharon’s nursing journey led her to a prominent role as a Regional Director and later Regional Clinical Specialist overseeing multiple hospice offices in South Carolina and Virginia. She currently works as a Senior Compliance Specialist in hospice covering four states, also successfully manages two businesses, Taylors Cleaning Solution and For Your Glory Homecare.

In December 2022, a life-altering car accident brought back childhood trauma. Determined to heal, Sharon understands that facing her past is essential for a brighter future. She is committed to her faith, family, career, and businesses, striving to become the best version of herself.

I’m Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show, collector & connector of fascinating people (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming, and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy certified trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, an Olympic torchbearer, a personal development junkie, an inspired speaker, a published author, and your courageous coach, I want to share my passion for living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.

On the Charla Anderson Show, we discuss mindset, how much your WORDS matter, princess-to-queen energy, mantras, HOPE, faith, miracles, overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

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