How To Release Stress With Ashly Torian

TCAS 34 | Release Stress


Beautiful Soul Ashly Torian is The Vitality Coach, speaker, and author specializing in the psychology of eating, physiology, emotional resolution, mind-body connection, and how our outlook either damages or enhances our lives.

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How To Release Stress With Ashly Torian

Good day, you beautiful souls. This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson show, collector and connector of fascinating people, and everyone is fascinating, especially you. I’m grateful that you will join us. We have the incredible Win Win Women Network, Podetize, the podcast company with Roku and live streaming with all of those services. I’m beginning to find my way in this TV world. I’m thrilled to have one of the most soulful people I know, Ashly Torian, here with us. I want to tell you all about her and have her tell all the amazing things she’s doing and what she’s done for me.

I’m going to do our little breathing exercise first. In every episode, I always try to center us a little bit and have a little mini vacation. We’re going to do 22 seconds of a breathing exercise. It’s going to be seven seconds of breathing in calm. We’re going to hold it for 4 seconds, then breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. Join me and take a little break here. Here we go. Breathing in calm, hold, and release gratitude. Thank you for joining me with that. I feel like we could all do that a little bit more often every day. My guest is a master at doing that thing. Ashly Torian is a show host with Ashly’s Heart Song on Win Win Women Network every Monday at 3:00 Central Time.

Ashly, thank you so much for joining me and being my guest. When I first started looking at Win Win Women, I happened to see your show. I watched and thought that’s the most calming, sincere, and sweet coming out of you and for your show. I would love for you to introduce yourself. You’ve got many things to talk about and so much to share. You’re doing so much. Say a little bit about who you are, why you’re here, and what your mission is.

I am honored to be on your show. Thank you for having me. It brings joy to my heart that you saw the show before you even joined in as a show host, how that was for you, and that experience. That means the world to me. What a pleasure it is to be with all of you. My mission or goal in life is to guide people in changing their state of operation. In our world, it is fast, speedy, busy, and chaotic. That’s the belief around how life is. It’s flowing. It’s going too fast. My goal is to help people stop and smell the roses, as an old little cliché quote, but it truly is. That comes from the years of anxiety.

When I was growing up as a child, I was filled with worry all the time. I had those huge, enormous jets that were rolling through my tummy nonstop. I was always worried and scared. That led to my younger adult years as a life of anxiety. That is no way to live. When I speak to young moms nowadays, they’re living in that anxiety. It’s like, “That does not have to be your reality.”


TCAS 34 | Release Stress


My mission is to help people shift that so that they don’t live in chaos, stress, and burnout, but also so that they don’t dive into overeating, binge-eating, not exercising, and all of the body dysmorphia and the eating issues that come up because the anxiety that I had led to body dysmorphia, over-exercising, and being afraid to eat. I was more on that end. I’m afraid to put a morsel of food in my mouth. There’s no sense in that. It is destroying this beautiful temple that we have. That is my mission in a huge nutshell.

You exhibit it so well. The piece that passes understanding, I believe you’ve grasped that. I believe I have, too, in most cases. No matter what happens, we’re at peace because where we are is all we have. We don’t have a last-second. We only have this second. You can handle things so much better if you don’t be upset and out in the past or future. You’re right here. You can handle what’s going on, even if it isn’t good, with a better calmness and sense of character. Why do you think, as a child, you had much detention and worry?


TCAS 34 | Release Stress


I was one of those babies when you’re coming down the chute of the birth canal, you decide, “I want this. I want that. I’ll take that. I can overcome that.” You bring it all in because my family was cool. I had a great family. There were five of us kids. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. She was a homemaker. My dad ran and operated businesses, but he was very involved in our life. He was not one of those absent dads. If I had a track meet, cheerleading event, or anything, my dad was there. If he wasn’t out of town, he was there. Usually, he didn’t travel when his kids had our events. I grew up with both mom and dad being there and with my siblings.

If it hadn’t been for my sweet sister, Jamie, who knows where I would be because she is eighteen months older than me, we were like this. She was my rock. When I was going through anxiety, she was one of those people that I thought, “If I could get to Jamie, my mom, or Robert, I would be okay.” Those were the three people that I would call on so that I wouldn’t jump off the cliff.

As far as family, I don’t think it was anything in there. Maybe there was, who knows? I doubt it. I don’t feel that way. I only have loving memories around my childhood. I believe that I’m one of those that pulled it all in. I thought, “I’ll help this. I’ll fix this generational dis-ease.” Sometimes in my adult life, I think, “What was I taking on? Why in the world would I choose to be the one to change this generation? Why me?”

You told some stories about the moment when you chose differently. It’s all a choice. Everything is a choice. We take it on and we can choose how we act and react. People don’t receive that often very well. Sometimes, “It’s not my choice to do.” It’s your choice how you react. Most of us are automatic in our actions and reactions. I call my book Split-Second Transformation: Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices. I do believe we can change in a split second, at least a mindset that changes everything. Was that something in your experience?

Did you want me to share that story about transformation?

The Reader’s Digest version, if there’s still such a magazine.

When I was living with anxiety, my kids were little. I still had to do life. I was still working. I was doing two jobs as a personal fitness trainer. My dad’s company at the time was a ladies lingerie direct-selling company. It’s a very classy stuff. I sold that many times to earn extra money for our family. I was doing quite a bit, but it got to a point where the anxiety was suffocating. I would read a story to my kids every night before bedtime the miracles of Jesus. One of them was about this sick woman who knew that if she touched Jesus’ robe, she’d be healed. I’m not going to go into all the details of the story, but I read that story over and over again.

In my meditations, I would imagine myself touching that robe of Jesus and being healed of anxiety. I would put myself in that position and situation. I began to be able to manage the anxiety. It’s fun this journey that I was on because I learned what faith meant. There was one day, 5 or 7 years later, when I learned to manage and live with it. It didn’t overwhelm me so much anymore, but I was driving from my home in Lewisville to a client who lived on the other side of the airport. I’m going through the airport tollway. An anxiety attack slammed into me that was as intense as the very first one. That very first one lasted for 365 days. It lasted a long time.

When that one slammed into me going through the airport, I thought, “There is no way.” I knew right then, “I have a choice. I could live like I did for 365 days in fear of everything or I could touch the robe of Jesus. I very well can. I can do that. I have access.” I did. In my mind, my heart, my physical body, every cell within me drew up I am driving through that airport. Through the windshields, and I’m in the jeep, I’m reaching my hand out. I’m like, “I know for a fact that this can leave me.” By the time I got to my client, it was gone. I remember thinking, “There is no residual and no nothing.”

If you’ve experienced anxiety, you know about that residual. It can last and trigger another anxiety attack, but the residual is gone. One of the most important points to this story and to our ability to access faith is that you must believe it from the moment of your experience and in every moment moving forward, every single moment. There’s not a matter of any doubt coming in. I remember speaking the truth of it, feeling the truth of it, and talking about it with my mom and with anybody who would listen to what happened to me.

I was speaking that truth and that solidified it, anchored it in, whereas many people lose it when they lose the gift of faith when, all of a sudden, they go, “Could it really happen for me?” After that fact, if I had said, “Are you sure I’m worthy of that? If I had felt like I wasn’t worthy of receiving it, then it would’ve gone away,” that’s the thing about faith. When we have faith and we believe with every cell of our body, we show it in action, feeling, and mental processes. When we show and express it, that’s when we anchor it in even more. We are living the faith. It’s awesome.



Outrageously Courageous~Bold Faith, No Fear: Step Towards The Gun is the name of my forthcoming book. Who I say I am is bold faith, no fear. When I was robbed at gunpoint right here, your words matter so that faith was who I am. I had said that for many years, “Who I am is bold faith and no fear.” When I had that moment, I was able to step towards the gun and say, “You all need love,” without fear, they ran. We’re on the same path on that. Split Second Transformation will be launched soon. That’s forthcoming.

I had a moment of split-second transformation from bitterness to joy. I watch people. Every word matters. Sometimes, we don’t take that on. We don’t believe it for ourselves. The one thing I wanted to say in that split-second moment of transformation is that it’s permanent. It wasn’t constant. That was in ‘07. The time always goes incredibly fast. From that moment, you have been developing retreats, workbooks, writing, and all those things. You’ve built a vitality coach business. You’re an author and a speaker. You’re doing a lot of amazing things.

I spoke at your event, which was amazing and fun. I get to know many amazing people. I went to the Armor Up Retreat, where we created our own heart songs. You guide us through that. Tell us what you are doing. How are you doing that? Who’s coming to you? Who do you serve? Where are you now? Where are you headed? How did you get to that where you already have created so much content? I admire you so much.

It has been such a beautiful journey. It was a journey through the physical world. Personal fitness training is where I started in psychology, mind, body, and nutrition. I was in the middle of the journey because of the fear of eating I experienced and the digestive discomfort. All of my clients were receiving results and then losing them. I thought, “This is not just a physical journey. We are much more than that. We’re a soulful, spiritual, and physical body. We’re all three. How do we work with this amazing vessel in order to live our best life?” It was that journey through my own trials and tribulations with the food and the body, but then also the emotions that came from the anxiety, belief systems, and the patterns.

When I’m working with someone, whether they are a binge eater, an overeater, have body dysmorphia, or whether it’s someone that is stressed to the max, their life is in chaos. They don’t know how to schedule things. Their schedule is all over the place. They put too much in their schedule. The person that I look for is the one that is not living their life. Their life is living them. It shows up with the eating, lack of activity, overspending, the way they schedule themselves, and their emotional balance. However, it shows up for a person doesn’t matter as far as I’m concerned because we approach it from the same place. That is getting the soul, mind, heart and emotional center, which is the home of the gut and brain.

It’s getting those in alignment, and the head and gut-brain following suit from the hearts. A lot of people coined this as their mission or their why, but I felt like it was so much more than that because when I would ask clients to set up, “What’s your why? Why are you working out?” it was always, “For my grandkids or my kids so I can get on the floor with them.” It’s like, “I’m sorry, but that is not going to inspire you when things get tough.” As much as we love our kids and our grandkids, that will not inspire you. If it did, you would already be in the health that you would like to be in. You would already not over-schedule yourself.

You would be balanced and your time management. All of that would happen easily. It’s not that. It’s about who you are and what you were created to be and to provide. That’s your heart song. The song of my heart is to live from my heart so that I am open and free to be and share the beautiful gift of peace that God birthed within me, “I align myself with my heavenly Father in this way. I’m filled with the energy and the vitality I need to share this beautiful gift and encourage others all along the way.”

TCAS 34 | Release Stress
Release Stress: As much as you love your kids and grandkids, that will not inspire you. It’s about who you are and what you were created to be and to provide.


I use that in moments when my head and brain want to jump on a problem. When it starts going down that rabbit hole of a problem, I go, “I’m choosing the piece that was birthed within me.” I say my heart song. I feel it, and I remember the energy and the vitality that comes with that piece, then I can get back into alignment. People say affirmations. I guess it is an affirmation, but it’s so much more than that because it’s who you are. When you come to a retreat and attend an Armor Up Program, you get to design it. We work with that. We clear out all the gnats. We fill you up with all the good stuff. Your heart song can be created, easy as pie.

We’ve got some guests and our visitors that we can visit in a little bit. Maybe during that time, I’ll share mine if it works out and it feels natural to do that. It’s pretty powerful. You’ve done many things. One of the things I wanted to ask you about was this. What’s your favorite quote?

Eckhart Tolle is my favorite. That’s one I remember all the time that I I like to phrase because how we feel at any given moment is creating the world in which we live. It is about your state of operation. What my whole business is based around is being in tune with your body. Have you always been in tune with your body or, at first, were you disconnected from your body and didn’t quite get it?

More than anybody I know, I will get a sticker, a splinter, or something and 3 or 4 days later going, “It’s been hurting me. I’ll have walked on it for three days.” I probably pay less attention to my body because what you focus on is what you attract. I try not to focus on things that I don’t want. I believe that’s a huge thing. I don’t believe in getting sick, so I don’t get sick. That’s not arrogance. It’s an authority that we’ve been given. I don’t think about it. I’m probably not the best example of all that for you. Because of your workshop, every so often, I’m trying to remember to go, “How does that feel?” It’s a new muscle for me.

It is a muscle you have to build. I agree with that. I love that you brought that up about what we focus on only continuing to grow because of body awareness and I want to share this with the audience and what that means because it’s such a great identifier. Body awareness is only about being aware of your state of operation and what’s happening inside you. Not to bring in more, but to go, “That’s not peace. That’s not joy. What am I doing? I’m in anger. Why am I in anger? Why do I feel anger in my chest?” No, I choose joy. Otherwise, we walk around with that physiological mess. That physiological mess creates disease.

I coach people on when to identify the physiological mess you emotionally resolve it. In my workshop, you learn how to emotionally resolve. Once you emotionally resolve that out of your body, it’s much easier to step into the joy, peace, happiness, love, truth and faith because that was stirred up by a fearful thought. We don’t want those fear thoughts. We want to delete them, but they’re in our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is filled with those negative patterns and fear beliefs. We’re human. We’re having an experience on planet Earth.



We’re spirits that is trying to live in this physical world. It’s a little tricky sometimes. That’s why you’re here. You want to tell about bow and arrow. You want to talk about your graphic, that you’ve got a whole workbook and a workshop around getting out of the anxiety and being more present.

The bow and arrow is the symbol for the heart song. It seemed the best way to help people to understand about a person’s resonance. We were speaking to body awareness and what we feel in our bodies at any given time. When you’re creating your heart song, you’ll notice that the feeling that it generates inside you is different from the normal feeling that you wake up with. It’s elevated. We first get started in the morning, we pick up our bow. We remember that our target, what we want to do in our day, month, year, ten years or whatever it is, there’s a target out there.

In order for it to come to fruition, it must have the same frequency as the heart song because if it’s an elevated target, meaning it’s something that you’ve always wanted and you haven’t lived it yet, but you would love to live it, it takes being a different person than you were now when you woke up. It’s a more elevated person that reaches that. When you wake up in the morning, you want your heart song, your bow and the arrow of you to be the same frequency because when the bow launches the arrow, which is you and you are in frequency, the arrow, when it’s in frequency with the bow, it will do a direct shot and hit the target. You are in alignment with your heart song.

However, if you wake up and you’re not getting into your heart song, if maybe the old patterns and thoughts are coming through your mind, then when you launch your bow or arrow for the day, it’s not going to be in that frequency. It will not land in the target. When we wake up in the frequency of our heart song and we launch ourselves through our day, we will experience a totally different day and results of the day than if we had gotten up with the old pattern of thought that we had before. It goes into a lot more detail. The essence of it is you don’t want a bow or an arrow that vibrates like this and then drops. You want it to go right to the target. That is the essence of the heart song. Changing your frequency so you reach that goal that you have always wanted to reach.


TCAS 34 | Release Stress


You also talk about time. Thank you for redeeming my time. Your timing is perfect. Mine is not so much. One of your topics or methodologies is redeeming time of in some ways. Who doesn’t need that? I don’t care what you’re doing if you feel like you have a little few more minutes or hours in a day.

When we were getting on, you were sharing what had transpired for you. A person could easily go into the spinning chaos and muck puddle of all of that that could have been created, but here you are, rested, joy-filled, peace-filled and faith-filled. Here you are delivering that. It’s a choice of what we’re going to do. However, when someone doesn’t understand the scope of time and how time works, it is beneficial when you can finally learn that because when you don’t, it’s chaotic out there. The schedule is too tight and there is a, “Too much on my plate,” feeling.

The very first mind-body nutrition technique I teach anyone who walks in my door is the power of slow. We work with slow eating first. We can open up and wake up the gut ring. We begin with slow. Why do we begin with slow? That changes your state of operation. When you attend your life in a parasympathetic state, which is a rest and digest mode, that is when you are at ease. When you are attending to your life in that state, time expands. When you attend your life in the chaos and the busy and thinking, “I am busy thinking. Things are chaotic,” guess what’s going to happen? You’re going to live in chaos.

When you attend your life in a parasympathetic state, time expands. Click To Tweet

You live that way. What you think about you get. That’s another example of that, “Thank you for redeeming my time. I lay it at your feet.” I’m driving a lot of times. You’re trying to get somewhere and you don’t have the possibility of opening up traffic and all necessarily, but if you release it and let it go, I do that sometimes without even watching the speed limit. I’m like, “I’ll be there when I be there. There’s nothing much more I can do.” It’s an easier way of living.

It takes all the pressure off. I love Louise Hay’s affirmation around time. It is, “I have time and space for all that I need to do.” When you do that mantra over and over, and you realize, “I do have time and space for everything that I need to get done today.” God gave us 24 hours in a day. We need 7 to 9 hours sleep. You can get everything done in sixteen hours. If you didn’t, then it wasn’t supposed to be done today. Divine timing is everything. You may think you were sitting on your laurels, but what if you were redirected that day for something else because what you thought you needed to do today could not be done unless tomorrow showed up. Today, you may not have been able to do it, but tomorrow.



Gratitude is a key. Gratitude is huge. For instance, when you’re driving and somebody’s pulling you over. I’m like, “Thank you.” I will say thank you to them and go, “Thank you for breaking up my day here maybe one of us was supposed to bless each other, perhaps, or one of us is missing something that could have been worse as something happening. Will you still be grateful if I give you a ticket?” “I’d be more grateful if you didn’t, but that’s okay.”

I’m wondering, have you ever been able to talk anyone out of giving you a ticket with that mantra?

I don’t know that it was talking out because that’s not the point for me. I do remember one time, I said, “I don’t know if we’re supposed to bless each other or something has been prevented that could have been, down the road, worse or whatever. Be blessed and may you be blessed.” I didn’t get a ticket one time. I don’t get pulled over that often. It’s a fun story.

In my younger years driving a Mazda RX-7 in college, I wish that I had that concept at the time so I could talk myself out of all the tickets that I got.

It’s something to consider that wherever you are is all you have. If you bless it, it will lift everything around you. That’s key. First of all, your whole demeanor. When I left to go somewhere, I was like, “Let my light shine. Let me be a blessing. Let the aura or shine.” You do that so well and naturally. You ooze that calmness, peace and the things that you’re teaching us to be better at. I’m grateful for that. I want you to talk about how people can find you, what’s coming up, what you want everyone to get on your Facebook. How do we do that?

I have a group called Vibrant Soul Reboot it. I’ll do Facebook Lives in that and give out fitness tips, health tips, vibrancy tips, Qigong tips, and anything about the breath, mind and body complex. You name it, I will regurgitate it all inside that group and teach you everything that I have been taught in my journey so that you can share in that and create your own piece.

Is it a free group?

It’s a free group. At the end of November 2023, I’m going to have a free workshop event that’ll be 1 hour for three days. It’s one hour each day. In that, we’ll be talking about the Body Mind complex and getting into that state of ease so that we can create that life that we truly love and want to live in a peaceful state. I would love for you to join me. There’s lots of education given in that group and in the free events. Be sure you tap into that. I’d love to do life with you.

Before we open it up, is there any last thing you want to say? This’ll be fun to do.

Let’s jump right in. I think I’ve talked enough.

I hope you got everything out you wanted to say. The official part of the show is over. I love you and you’re beautiful. You can’t do anything more to be loved more or less by God. You are loved as you are unconditionally loved. You are perfect who and where you are right this minute. I always tend to say choose joy. My name ends up meaning joy in Greek. I tend to end my official side of the program by choosing joy. We will bring some with us.

We have Sarah, Dera, Cindy, and Tanya.

What resonated for me is what you were talking about like if you were going to do it for your family members or your kids, you would’ve already done it. That is something I feel like I’m learning a lot about myself, that others can’t be the focus of my motivation. That was good. Thank you so much for sharing that. One of the questions I have for you is, what is it like when you have a different eating plan than the rest of your house? How do you manage that?

When my kids were little, I was cooking a couple of different dinners at night. I was cooking mine, then I would do Robert and the boys. Sometimes you have to do that. My eating was very simplified because it was whole foods. It was easy to put that stuff together, especially with the way that I meal plan. The way I meal plan is cooking all the meats on the weekend and storing them away, having my vegetables either frozen or fresh. The fresh ones are washed and, put in green bags and chopped. Everything was ready to go. With my meal, I had to throw it in. With the guys, I could cook them whatever was on that dinner for that night, which it wasn’t too heavy as far as manual labor goes.

My world opened up. I have an independent husband who was raised with a working mom. He knows how to cook for himself. Now I take care of me. It’s a nice thing. A couple of days a week, I bless Robert with a gift for me as far as a meal goes. Otherwise, he does a pretty good job on his own of doing what he wants to do. It does depend on the season of life that your home is in. When you have those young kids, us moms are responsible for that and we teach them. I taught my kids how to cook and they would be in the kitchen with me. You might have to do two different things at first.

My husband is independent like yours. He will do his own meal Prep it’s when the kids are with us. It’s a totally different dynamic. Sometimes, I find myself eating tater tots on the side. I’m like, “I don’t want to eat this.” That is the challenge, but that’s helpful. Planning ahead.

You also said something important. That is the food that they’re eating, that you’re serving them could be a temptation to what you are wanting to do for yourself. When there are tater tots on the side, those crispy edges when you bite into it, the oil and the grease, when we think about that, then we go, “Just 1 or 2.” What I did whenever I was tempted was and this is weird, but Robert would get a donut on Sunday mornings. I always loved donuts, but I couldn’t eat them anymore. I’d say, “Let me smell it.” He would let me smell it. I would let all my olfactory senses come to life and smell it. It did satisfy me. Have you found that?

I haven’t tried it, but you’re giving me an idea. I’m going to try that.

Sometimes, the tater tots or the french fries, when you smell them don’t smell as good as you thought they were going to taste. That will typically keep you from wanting to eat it.

Another point, if you’re going to eat something, I remember reading, “If you’re going to eat it, love it. I shouldn’t be doing this, but I’m going to eat it anyway.” It is not helpful to your body. If you’re going to have a big old piece of chocolate cake, do not let it feel guilty. Let yourself savor every morsel. I do believe that’s the guilt thing stores more than the actual food. That makes sense to me. What do you think?

That is the power of pleasure, which is a mind-body nutrition technique. When we take pleasure in the food that we’re eating, we involve all of our senses. It’s exactly like you said. You get all into it. You enjoy it. You take that first perfect bite, put it on your palate, put your fork down and allow the taste buds to wrap themselves around it. You chew thoroughly and swallow, let the bite land in your stomach, and take a deep breath, allowing the diaphragm to massage the gut and get that stomach juices churning it up.

TCAS 34 | Release Stress
Release Stress: When we take pleasure in the food that we’re eating, we involve all of our senses.


When you’re ready, you take another perfect bite. You go slow with the awareness of that pleasurable feeling of, “I love this typically.” When you do that, you don’t eat the whole piece of chocolate cake. You eat a few pieces and then you realize, “I’m done,” because 1 of 2 things happened. Either you get satisfied with those, or you realize, “This did not taste near as good eating slow as it did eating fast.”

That’s one of my words, “Am I going to regret this later? Yes, but who cares? There’s a way of shifting that, which I did several years ago when I lost quite a bit of weight.” I was like, “Tomorrow, will it have mattered that I had this thing or not? How many meals in my lifetime are memorable that it mattered the next day? A few but not many.” Shifting it from, “Am I going to regret this? So what, I’ll worry about it later,” or to tomorrow and projecting that little bit further ahead, “Tomorrow, will it matter if I ate it or don’t eat it?” You can minimize that regret side of things. It worked for me back then.

That’s an intuitive eating technique. I love the way you worded that, “Will this matter tomorrow?” The question that I have people ask a lot is, “Is this an alignment with what you want to accomplish? How will you feel in your body once you’ve eaten it and you go out to perform in the way you need to perform for your talk?”

Let’s say before I got on here, it was lunchtime. It’s time for me to eat because, at 2:00, I don’t eat anymore until 5:00 because the sun takes a little dip and our energy takes a dip. We don’t want to eat between 2:00 and 5:00. It’s like, “I need to eat. I want to eat something that when I am on camera with Charla, I feel good, I have clarity of thinking. I feel light. I feel joy-filled. I don’t want this sluggish. I eat in accordance with what I want to feel in that next moment of my life. “It’s very similar to, “Does this matter tomorrow?” I loved that. That’s a great way to ask that question.

Unless you’re going to, “I’ll never have it again,” you know you’re going to have a tater tot again. Unless you know you’re never going to have it again, or you’re at a special place, most of the time, you can at least pro-push it down the road a little bit if you start asking those little questions ahead of shoving it. I was a flight attendant. Sometimes, we wouldn’t have anything to eat and had a ton of leftover meals, but we were always fast eating.

We went to the same school of life because one of the mantras that I say to myself when I’m faced with a food that I would love to eat, “I can have it anytime I want. I don’t want it right now. I can always have it. It’s never going to go away. The opportunity to have that chocolate shake will always be present. I don’t want it right now.” If you keep saying those things, then you end up not having it for a month at a time.

Tiny mind shifts are everywhere. I was going to read my heart song and show it to you. When something is personal, it’s a little bit awkward or to understand the wording because it’s for me, not for anyone else. Would you like me to do that?

I would love for you to. Charla’s heart song is amazing. What is beautiful about her journey, if I may share this, is that it was created on the weekend retreat, then she has done little bitty tweaks. She’s sweet because she’ll send me the little bitty tweaks and how she changes it. She’s creating it to where it speaks to her. It draws her heart. You can hear it when you see the words that she’s used to formulate it and how powerful these words are for her and her journey. You can get that sense. If you would love it, great.

A few years ago, I got a word from someone that, “You’re in princess energy and you need to step into the queen energy.” My word beside completion is regal and savor. Those were two other words I had. You see my crown. I have it because of the energy that I want to develop more and more. When I wrote my heart song and it has been embellished or shifted a little bit, this copy doesn’t have the final good word on there, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Charla’s heart song, “As the queen, regal and poised, savoring every breath of life, I am joy and peace with bold faith and confidence so that I fulfill my purpose of radiating light, love and raising the vibration of the world and so it is.” I created this meme. It doesn’t have the word savoring. I just added that. People might think it’s arrogant about this queen thing, but it’s for me.

We don’t come from that place of arrogance. That’s that ego world. We’re not residing in the ego world. We’re residing in a centered, aligned, peaceful world. That’s different. The words mean something different when you’re in that world. It is truly beautiful.

We don't come from a place of arrogance. That's the ego world. We're residing in a centered, aligned, and peaceful world. Click To Tweet

I was at an event at a hotel. I walked to go get some of the morning breakfast or whatever. There was a doing the waffles over there. I was in jeans and a T-shirt. She turned around and said, “You are radiating.” I was like, “Wow.” She had an oxygen tank. We ended up chatting. I sat with her for almost two hours. They were doing a long-term stay there while they were in the move and stuff. She said, “You have helped me so much, but when you make that your intention to step into what you want your energy to feel like, look like or seem to be.” It gave me chills then and now. It’s a special time and I feel like she benefited a lot. She needed somebody to talk to and it worked out. What I love to do is encourage. That was part of the thing after I had written that.

You are this. It’s like one of those little nudges that reminds you. That’s beautiful. Sarah was thankful that you shared your heart song. She said it was very beautiful. I’m glad that Sarah and Tanya are going to try smelling the food.

Thank you, Ashly. I’m grateful for you. I can’t wait to spend more time with you. You’re a special one. Tanya, I know and love you. I’m grateful for the other visitors to come in and participate and it’s amazing. Please join us for every episode. Thank you for joining us. Choose joy.


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About Ashly Torian

TCAS 34 | Release StressAshly Torian is the Vitality Coach, Speaker, and Author of Join Me in the E.N.D. Zone. She has a lifelong focus, education, and experience on understanding the psychology of eating, on human physiology, emotional resolution, the mind-body connection, and how our outlook on these factors can either damage or enhance our lives. Ashly works with those who desire to set themselves FREE from the pain and struggle they experience by addressing the SOUL; the mind, heart, and emotions through her 3-brain approach.

Ashly created the Armor Up program where people find balance, peace, and freedom to live their heart’s desire with energy and vibrant health. This is done through coaching programs, weekend workshops, and Live Retreats in the beautiful Red River Valley.

I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torch bearer, personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, Published Author and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion of living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

Everything Charla:

Live show every Wed at 1:00 PM CT. WATCH Button turns green at 12:58 to join the live show. Also streamed on Roku, Amazon Fire, and Apple TV.

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Collector & Connector of Fascinating People... & everyone is Fascinating!  Sharing Encouragement, Courage, Inspiration, Smiles & Hugs to Leave OUR World a Better Place.

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