Navigating through the turbulence caused by divorce, Amanda Beth Johnson empathizes and empowers clients to be resilient, fostering healing and personal growth during one of life’s most challenging transitions.
—
Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
Healing From Divorce With Amanda Beth Johnson
Welcome to the Charla Anderson Show, collector and connector of fascinating people and every one is fascinating, especially YOU. I’m grateful that you’re joining us. I have an incredible guest, Amanda Beth Johnson, whom I’ll introduce after our breathing exercise. She’s an intuitive healer and a divorce coach. We know a lot of people who could or could have used that. I know I could have.
We’re going to come back to that, but first, we’re going to take our little 22-second mini vacation and have a breathing. We’re going to breathe in some calm. We’re going to hold for four seconds and breathe out gratitude. Let’s go ahead and grab that grounding breath here. Breathe in some calm for seven seconds, hold, and release. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Looking Back
It is always a good practice to do that multiple times a day, walk on the grass, and hug a tree to get some grounding and centering, and be still and know. That’s what I like to call it. I am here with a fellow senior tuber. We’re in a group called Senior Tubers with Brenda Cerro. We had the biggest blast in there. She had more fun learning how to be a YouTuber at this a little riper old age. Anyway, I have Amanda Beth Johnson here. She’s from a rural place in Iowa. Tell us who you are in this world, Amanda.
Who am I? I am me. We’re chatting a little bit before, finding out who you are. I still live in Southeast Iowa. I grew up in rural Iowa. I’ve lived here a whole bit, like fifteen years of my life and I’ve lived in other places in the country. I’ve experienced a lot of different things and everything and I always come back home. I think that’s what so many of us do. We come home to wherever home is. There’s that grounding and that ability to come back and be who we are. I don’t know what else you want to know.
You are one of the most diverse people. I was looking through some of your stuff. I’m like, “She has vintage cars. She knits. She is an intuitive healer and divorce coach.” The divorce coach sounds strong, then intuitive healer. I know that they go together. You want to talk about your car that you got in the top ten in a car show.
In high school, we were part of rural Iowa. We would do street racing. Nothing dangerous. None of that super crazy stuff, but we had fun. Hanging with the group of people and fixing cars and everything. I had a 1956 Fireflite 8 as it was a DeSoto. I never did a thing with it. I parted it out, but it had a unique engine in it. In the process of finding a car with the engine in, I ended up buying this ‘74 Challenger.
It had come off the racetrack. My first husband and I bought it when we were in college. We put it up every year on his birthday. We took it out in March and someday we were going to restore that car. Life happens. I went to college and that was where we all dealt with hurdles in our lives. We deal with obstacles. With every obstacle for me, those are those opportunities to take a stand and shine and do what you’re supposed to do. For me in college, one of my biggest obstacles was learning about my learning disability and that I don’t learn like everybody else does.
Navigating that whole thing so that I was able to be successful in my college education, we then moved on to upstate New York and I was widowed, but I still have a car. I have had my classic car for nearly 35 years now. Longer than I’ve had anything but my mama. I enjoy my car. I take it to car shows because it’s fun. It’s a car that’s not very common and what’s special is it’s mine. I still have that Challenge every year. I’m probably missing the car show this weekend because I have a draining amount that needs to be fixed.
Always something.
As we go through life, we find these obstacles and everything. As you mentioned, I’m a divorce coach and an intuitive healer. All of that came together serendipitously. My family, we’re intuitive. We know that. I believe that every person is intuitive. Do we take the time to listen? Did we calm our minds so that we could listen? That is where breathworks, meditations, and tuning in are. What is your body telling you? Listen. It’ll allow you to fix it.
It’s always right.
It is when you listen. When you don’t listen, you get that many more knocks. I went through my divorce and I’ve had some amazing careers. I’ve worked in human services. I’ve worked in emergency medicine. I did graphic design and promotional marketing. I own my own business. I left human services and did that to raise my daughter. I have two great kids. I guess my whole thing is you have the education, you have the car, you have the house, you have the kids, you have the dogs, and life still isn’t what you thought it should be.
My divorce happened and that was when I realized that that was my opportunity in life to take inventory and look at where I had been and where I wanted to go. This was time to now look inside and be the person that I meant to be here. I went through a lot of healing myself and I was encouraged to become a healer. As a healer, I continue to see folks going through a divorce. That’s the worst thing you’re going to go through in your life.
You’re going to come out and you’re going to move on. How well you move on is once up to a lot of things but if you work with someone, you work with a divorce coach, you work with an intuitive healer, you work with therapists, you work with a lot of people. We’re not going to get through this alone and we don’t get through this life alone. I’m here to help those people and hopefully, it doesn’t take you years to realize it like it did.
Marriage And Anger
I’ve had a couple of my own and my perspective on humanity, but marriages and we loved each other. I don’t understand the “let’s kiss and say goodbye” thing, this vindictiveness, this anger, this horrific tearing people apart and tearing people down. In my tiny book with the big message, Candy Bar Hugs, I have a little dedication to both of them, acknowledgment of both of my former husbands, that they are great people. It just didn’t work.
Facing Tough Times
I appreciate that there are people out there who are capable of helping folks navigate those. It’s a tough time. Everything is changing. If you can learn to value yourself enough and love yourself enough to rise up, and I know I figured most of the fighting in this, you’re here, I’m here. You take that, I take this, I get the frying pan but the fighting is over these two little bits, 3 or 4 things in the middle. I feel like it’s an opportunity to grow like you said, and I would encourage people to understand that.
One of my greatest clients was divorced twelve years before and he’s had seven failed relationships. It’s like let’s look at what we’re doing and what part of the equation we didn’t learn. When folks say, “I wish somebody was there when I went through that.” We’re still here. There’s the possibility that there’s still something you can let go of there. When we get hung up on those little things, it’s that last little thing that you’re fighting about. I got some of that stuff in my basement. It’s not fighting about. It’s being able to understand and appreciate yourself. Look at where you’re at and where you want to go and make those conscious decisions on what you’re doing.
I had three children when I divorced for the first time. There’s a book that I got, and I got for him as well. It’s called For the Sake of the Children and it was about instead of treating them as your exes, you treat them as the other parent. If you have kids with someone, you’re going to have interaction pretty much for the rest of your life, especially the next marriage or whatever.
That’s what I caution so many people. You can have that anger. Anger is healthy and normal, but it’s what you do with it. Don’t let it get in the way because you’re right. There’s going to be the school concerts. There’s going to be weddings. There’s going to be all of those things and learning who to be after you’re not coupled and learning to appreciate yourself. That self-caring.
Getting angry is normal. It is what you do with it that matters. Share on XRise to the occasion and take the high road. My mom always said, “Take the high road.” When it’s hard, take the high road. I think there’s a lot of media input that encourages that vindictive song. You take a baseball bat to his car. I’ve never had that gene, that vindictiveness.
You’re going to get back 4 to 10 fold of what you put out there if you put out that negative energy against them. Look at how much energy it takes to be angry. It’s so much easier in hindsight to forgive. I remember our daughter was twelve years old. She’s a very accomplished classically-trained ballerina. Going to all of her performances, we traveled with her a couple of times a week for lessons and participated in the various studios here. I remember her saying to me, “Mom, I’m so glad you get along with Dad.”
I looked at her and I smiled very honestly I said, “I do it for you.” What happened between us? It doesn’t have a thing to do with her. We both need to love her and support her and her other daughter as well. It’s not easy to take that but think of kids. They have no control in this situation. You better be that bigger parent and go to the school and let them know what’s going on. Teachers can’t help because they don’t know.
I was a child of divorce at six years old. My parents had been married for 21 years and I have two older sisters, 10 and 9 years older and one 4 years younger, and she doesn’t even remember them being married. It’s hard and then I put my kids through it. It’s hard but it doesn’t have to be that hard. I love that you said that about your daughter. It’s like, “I’m doing it for you.”
Those who know me, I’m not fake. I’m very down-to-earth and very real. You can have those emotions, but they don’t belong with your kids. You need to keep yourself in check. That’s saying fake it saying, remember who’s battle that is. It’s not your kid.
Intuitive Gift
Do not say things negatively against the other parent. It’s not going to come back to serve you well and because of the mindset, because of the intuitive piece, and I find it interesting you said all of your family has got this intuitive gift, which in rural Iowa, you got weather, and there’s a lot of manual labor and things like that that have to be done and to shovel and snow all that stuff. I find that fascinating that you all knew it.
Handwriting has always been my thing. I couldn’t read the handwriting, but I could feel it. When I went off to college and I got away from it, didn’t practice it, when I came back to Iowa, my aunt and I toured the different shows in the Bible Belt. To practice the gifts of the Spirit, you had to be an ordained minister. I was an ordained minister and I did readings and I did handwriting analysis.
That’s what I did. When the kids came along and went to mainstream school. My kids are very intuitive. We talked about it. This is stuff we do at home. You can share it with your friends if you want, but they may not understand it. My daughter was three and she was dowsing with a paperclip. Very intuitive. My oldest, her thing, she feels things. She’s more kinesthetic.
That’s very interesting. I was raised very fundamentally in the Bible Belt for sure. That’s all woo-woo. It was all woo-woo. I know everybody I’m attracting now is an intuitive healer or this has some of that. I’ve released the religion around spirituality, the God in a box.
If you think about it, we talk about the basis of Christianity. The angels came and told Mary she was going to have a child. Now, if we told that in Main Street today, we’d be getting visitor passes. Intuition is there, and it’s when we can listen to it and we can respect it, and appreciate it, that it gets into the heart of things. We talked about being an empath, which most of us are, but because we don’t know what to do with it, we stop it. Being an empath is when you walk into a room and you know what’s going on. You don’t have to talk to anybody.
You get a feel. You’re that human thermometer on the wall and you know what’s going on. Teaching empaths how to pull in that energy so that they’re only dealing with their own. When you take that another step further and you talk about empaths and going through the divorce process, you’ve been coupled with this other person. You’ve been feeling their energies for so long. Now to be able to pull that apart and tease apart, it’s your energy versus their energy. You’re dealing with your stuff and working on that. One of the courses that I offer is Boundaries for Empaths in Divorce.
My best friend feels everybody’s energy all the time and it’s challenging to deal with that on a daily basis for sure. It’s a gift and it’s not a gift.
My youngest is going through college and doing a lot of things. I would say that she’s hit that. It’s easier to stop it than to interpret it and hone in on how to use it. It took me a long time to figure out how to use it.
Developing Intuition
One of the questions I think that you suggested was, how does someone start that process? You want to be and feel like you’re intuitive. We all have the gift. Most of us have never honed in on it or even recognized it possibly. If you want to develop it, how do you do that?
One of the first things you have to do is you have to control your energy. You’re going to practice this every day for a few weeks before it becomes second nature. One of the things is that you ground and center yourself so that you’re honed in on yourself, and then you feel where is your energy. How far is your energy out there?
You’re going to wrap your arms around, however you feel or perceive your energy. You’re going to work on finding the edge of that. It’s like finding a ball of yarn that has fallen. You’re going to find that end of it so that you can now start bringing it in, bringing it in, and bringing it in. You’re bringing your energy into a protected container so that it’s not mixing with everybody else’s. When you start to learn your container, now that you’re not spread all over real thin, you’ve brought that container in and you’re stronger and powerful. You feel your own energy.
When you go to a social situation, you’ve already pulled it in, you know what it feels like to have that bear hug of your own energy. When it’s necessary, you can stick out a little tendril, just a little taste, and bring it back in. You don’t let it flood. Pulling it in and you’re holding it in and it becomes second nature to hold it in. You’re not so diffuse and bring that in. A lot of that energetic work also happens like in the solar plexus. Bringing up that energy where we leak it out.
One of my friends is through networking through Zoom. She’s a world champion poker girl, six foot six or six foot five. She’s Donna Blevins and she wrote a book called MindShift On Demand. One of the things when I inherited unexpectedly a couple of kids and grandkids, she taught, I was able to teach them, she called it put an egg around yourself, put an egg shell. Nobody can hurt your feelings without your permission. It can bounce back out. That’s the vision I was thinking about for you. Nobody can make you angry without your permission. If we call it aura, is that the same thing as the aura?
It could be your aura, your aura field. There are so many words. That’s where I think that sometimes people get confused. It’s like, “I don’t call it that. I’m wrong.” “No, you’re not. There’s a whole bunch of words.” It’s also still part of a culture that’s not necessarily acceptable on every platform, there are still some differences in terms and it’s whatever term you need to know and understand.
I’ve thought about that a lot and I’ve learned that karma has the same meaning as you reap what you sow. Coming from a fundamental religious background, karma was woo-woo out there, but they mean the same thing. If we can get over ourselves that I’m right and you’re wrong and about everything or anything. What if we said, “Isn’t that interesting? Your source of information must be different than mine and we can have a conversation about things.”
I did an energy scan on the client this morning and she was like, “What does that mean?” “For me, this is what it means.” With the beauty of Zoom, we have people that we are meeting and interacting with that are all over the globe and, and everything. I find that being mostly in the Midwest here, I have some pretty plain ways of talking about things, but that doesn’t mean that I’m right or I’m wrong. It means that we can share and come to that point of being able to share. You’re talking about people getting angry. I can’t get angry if I don’t choose to get angry. Teaching that to people is so poignant.
They don’t know. They saw their parents angry and they’re angry and everybody’s walking around angry and we’re offended by everything and what if we love like. My message is unconditional love, love each other, and the harder people are to love the more they need it. It usually, and I’m going to guess mostly, means they don’t love themselves enough to love other people.
Self-Love
That whole self-care and self-love. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t effectively love anyone else. Self-care is not selfish. You don’t take care of yourself. You can’t take care of other people. You know you can do it. You’re just not going to do a good job of it. You’re going to feel resentful. You’re going to feel drained. It’s not good but if you take care of yourself first and fill up your well, then you have plenty. This world is full of abundance and there is so much for everyone.
Sometimes I have one here. I don’t have it right now, but one of my favorite analogies is that some people don’t even know what a saucer is, but a cup and saucer. I love that. It’s a little plate with the whole circle in there. You put your coffee cup in, not a mug. Anyway, my daddy would pour the coffee out into the saucer and drink it, I guess to cool it down because it’d come out of the park later.
Keep your cup completely filled until it overflows a little and then serve out of the saucer. I thought that was so sweet. I would say that’s a great illustration to put in your mind that let’s keep ourselves filled with self-care. There are extremes of everything. We’re not talking about only taking care of ourselves. We’re talking about self-care, nurturing yourself, and loving yourself enough so that you have the energy to love and serve others and get over yourself if you think you have all the answers. Get up, stop it. Nobody cares.
I find that a lot of times, the things that bother other people are things that are going on in ourselves.
Most things that bother us about other people are things that are going on in our own lives. Share on XIt’s a mirror. We know that.
When you’re standing there in the checkout lane and two people in front of you are getting on your nerves. They’re just there. Look at that. What is it about this situation, this circumstance, what they’re saying, what they’re wearing, what they’re doing, what is bothering you? Look inside yourself and see where that part of you can be fixed or need some attention. To be fixed doesn’t mean you’re broken. I’m not saying you’re broken. I’m saying, where can you put some attention? When we look at that, usually when people are yelling at you or they’re having a problem with you, it doesn’t have anything to do with you being mad at yourself. Unfortunately, you were their mirror and they need you to be able to show it back to them.
I know these are concepts that are not taught in our society and as a rule. There’s so much about feelings and your feelings and making sure you’re feeling okay. My oldest son is 41. I was so concerned about his self-esteem because that was the term back in the ‘80s. We don’t want to hurt their self-esteem, but what I figured out too late is self-worth is about serving. Self-esteem is all about me. I make sure I don’t get my feelings hurt, and all those things. Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-value are gotten misconstrued.
There are a lot of things that have gotten skewed. I think that we could fix the world in about an afternoon.
We got it all. We know it all. We know how to do that, and we can change the world, but it has to start with us. I can’t change you. I might be able to give you some encouragement, encouraging words, and some resources.
When my first husband was killed, I was given a figurine. It was a piece of brass and it had a sailboat on it. I don’t remember the phrase exactly, but we can’t control others. We can’t control the wind, but we can adjust our sails. I can’t control how you or anyone speaks to me, but I can control how I respond to that and how I take things in stride or, if I choose to, lose it and go be a mini. I don’t need to go be a mini. That’s a waste of my time and energy, but that’s my reaction and looking at it. Am I right or wrong? I blew a bunch of energy. That’s ultimately what it came down to.
Also, possibly made a fool of yourself.
I’ve had those days. I don’t get those nearly as often, but when we are, we’re able to sit back and look at the big picture. At the end of the day, what does this mean? At the end of the day, did I have a good day? Did I make a difference in my life? Did I make a positive difference in someone else’s life? Like you said, giving them the love and the kindness. Some people that’s what they need. They need that love and kindness.
Main Character
I am reminded of Michael Singer, who wrote The Untethered Soul and The Surrender Experiment. I am a personal development junkie for decades now, but I didn’t find him until the last couple of years for some reason. I’m reminded of this quite often nowadays that since the beginning of time if we got into eternity, there’s been billions and billions and billions. We have 8 billion right now, but there have been a lot before us and there are going to be a lot after us. He says, “You’re getting upset, somebody cut you off in traffic and you’re getting upset but if you step back and get the big picture of you, the pinprick of time that we’re in on this earth out of the eternity, it’s just a pinprick. That you can’t even feel it.”
It’s a drop in the bucket. My girlfriend and I had this conversation about everyone being their own main character. As I go through life, as I do what I’m doing, I am the main character in everything I do. When I come to another person, when I come across you, you are the main character in your life. We can’t simultaneously all be main characters. When we look at people, they’re just going on and doing what they’re doing. It doesn’t have a hill of things to do with me. Giving them that grace, then that kindness, and “I’m sorry you cut me off. I appreciate that you’re in a hurry. I hope it’s not causing anyone’s hurting. If they are, here’s a prayer for them.”
May you be blessed. May you be blessed. May you be blessed. One of the things I’ve started saying is, “I guess they need to go to the bathroom more than I do.” You can add a smidge of humor there so that you quit taking everything personally. I love Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, the number one book I recommend the most. Don’t take things personally and don’t make assumptions. Always do your best.
I read those in an email this morning. I don’t get hung up on this stuff.
Back in the day, when I first heard about that book, I went to buy it at half-price books and it was in the new age section when I was still in a box religion and not relationship. I was a little worried about it, but I read it and I started recommending that book and giving it away when I needed to. In The Four Agreements, there are four things. Why would being impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions, and always doing your best be woo-woo?
We can get on the whole topic on that, but ultimately it is about being genuine and we’re souls having a human experience here and what we leave behind, there’s that whole, the energy, that energetic, that vibrational level. There’s a lot of stuff going on in this world that I don’t like, but I personally can’t do anything other than to send out my positive vibrations in that the whole world hopefully becomes more positive and we don’t have to have so much negative.
If everybody did it at the same time, the whole world would be nothing but love. If everybody said I love you at the exact same time, what the whole world would be.
That’s happening and I’ve been part of groups that do that and you can tell with everyone. I think that’s very true. We need to do our part in being positive. Someone said something about taking positivity too far. I don’t know that you can take it too far unless you have complete blinders on but toxic positivity. We’re going to be positive but we do acknowledge there are times when you have a bad day, but that doesn’t make the whole day a bad day and make everyone else’s day a bad day.
We know that complaining builds pathways and they get deeper and deeper the more you complain and that you have to stop it. I’ve been called Pollyanna. I call myself outrageously optimistic. I believe that I have a lot more fun and positive energy than somebody who said, “The world is going to end in two weeks.” I brought Candy Bars Hugs for people everywhere I could go instead of sitting on the couch going, “Watch, the world’s going to end.” Love people and share. I would say, “So what?” I don’t need to complain. It doesn’t mean everything is perfect. Are you kidding me? No way. It can’t be.
When we have that negative mindset, then we focus on finding more of the negative.
You attract it right there.
You do. You say it’s a dirty rotten stinking day, it’s going to be a dirty rotten stinking day all the way till you go to bed until you decide that you’re not doing that. It doesn’t serve you. It drains you down. How many muscles in a frown and how many muscles in a smile right there tells us.
This is great because we’re two peas in a pod on all this and I continue. Every guest is like that. Every conversation is almost like that. If somebody is like, “You’re too positive,” I’m like, “Fine. Have a good life, but I don’t care. I’d rather be brutally positive than brutally negative.”
There’ll be plenty of people to take up that challenge if we allow them. It’s like our kids. Our kids can have a dirty rotten day and you can choose to do what I asked you to do, or you can choose to go sit in your room. It’s your choice.
Divorce Coach
It is all a choice. That’s a whole nother thing. One of your quotes is “Where we are is all we have.” That’s the way I say it. Everything has conspired since the beginning of time. To have you and I in this conversation and you who’s hearing this conversation, it’s not random. Everything happens for a reason, even bad things. We are not our circumstances.
Absolutely not. Divorce is not a failure. When you leave a job and you go to a different job, that wasn’t a failure. When you live the course of a marriage and you move beyond that relationship, whether you go to another relationship or you don’t, that’s not a failure. That’s where you need to stop beating yourself up and move forward beyond that and find what opportunities you do have to create something better for yourself right there, right then, and not look at the negative parts of it.
It’s such a time for self-growth and personal introspection. It’s if we can get off the details or a mess sometimes.
Some people are celebrating. Not every divorce is a horrible catastrophic thing. Some people celebrate and are great, but unfortunately, there are too many people who need an extra hand, an extra pair of eyes, and somebody to help them down and make it into manageable bite-size pieces to move them on.
When you are a divorce coach, are you doing it for one party or both parties?
I will work with whoever is ready to work.
How do people find you? I was talking with a gentleman this week and sent your information because he said that he has a friend that the husband won’t sign. Five years, he won’t sign. I’m like, limbo is the worst place to get over yourself.
You don’t know. To work with me, there are a few different ways to find me. YourDivorceHealing.com is one. Amanda Beth Healing is another. I encourage you first to do a discovery call with me. It’s your time. That’s what you’re investing, your time. Talk with me. See if what you have going on is something that we look at that’s doable. Sometimes you have to find out if somebody has a personality that works with you. Is this a philosophy? Is this a theory? I do use theta healing. That is my go-to method of energetic healing, as well as a whole other bunch of different things about finding those limiting beliefs, getting rid of them, and healing past them.
Theta healing, which I was not overly familiar with. I’ve done I know quite a bit of the things.
It’s a newer thing.
I saw beautiful testimonies on your website that were very powerful.
It’s incredibly quick and I hate to say, “It’s a 30-day healing.” No, it’s what you need that we’re going to look at. Most of the folks that I work with getting through divorce in the beginning, we meet a few times a week and in the end, we’re meeting once a week. I do one-on-one sessions. There is a group component to that as well. It should average out about weekly, but like I say, we do some activities, and lots of self-care.
We look at some forgiveness activities, and looking at those main pillars to make you as empowered as you can be so that you are as strong and empowered to move forward with your life. It’s not about cashing things over. A lot of times my healing goes hand in hand with therapy, so it can be complementary. It’s not necessarily one or the other. Sometimes it’s doing the logistics. We role-play a lot, especially when we’re talking about how we talk with our previous partners about getting through the kid’s stuff and how we talk to the schools.
We do a fair amount of role play, looking at things, and having you rate your goals. I can be that friendly person who says, “How does this meet your goal? What are we doing here?” Having friends and family and having those community connections are important, but sometimes those folks don’t necessarily hold you accountable for moving forward.
It sounds like an accountability partner, so to speak.
Just looking at all those pieces. Again, it’s coming down to empowering you, making you as whole again as you can be and as quickly as we can. I’m not saying it’s a sprint or anything but taking it bit by bit and making it. Usually, a 90-day program is what I look at.
That’s great. AmandaBethHealing.com and YourDivorceHealing.com. Are you out there on Facebook and all that linked in too?
LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. I have a couple of YouTube channels. The one YouTube channel as we talk about dealing with senior YouTubers. The one YouTube channel was before I knew what I was doing. It has the classic cars, the keto diets, and the crochet. I’ve done some blogging over. I had a total hair replacement. That personal page. There’s Your Divorce Healing, which has more information that’s more specific in dealing with the topic of divorce. I don’t wish to force it on anyone, but when it happens, let’s get through it.
Hopefully, you’re not looking for long-term clients out of it either. It’s like let’s get through this and get yourself onto the next.
If you need to call me in a year or two, call me. I do healing and I started all of this doing healing. It was like that whole divorce thing being a child in force. My mom has been married a few times and was there for all of them, my own divorce. I think I can speak to a lot of different sides of that.
That’s great. It’s a tough time and I said in the beginning that it’s hard, but I chose a few years ago to quit saying hard. Most things do not have to be hard unless we claim that they’re hard. Again, every word matters. My other little books are Split-Second Transformation Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices. It doesn’t have to be hard. It can be a split second to change a word from negative to positive and change the next step because you can’t change the last step.
When I went through my healing and doing all that positive stuff, I knew you had a negative thought, you throw it out, you throw it out. A lot of those are in the car when you’re driving down the road by yourself. I would have had so many litter tickets. You can just feel it. I go and I’m around the same circles of people that I used to be. It’s like, “No wonder I was so negative. You all got to clean it up.” I’m not staying in those situations as long and then I will do what I need to, but they’re not comfortable. When you change your circle changes too. It doesn’t mean those people can’t be a part of your circle which means they have a different place in your circle.
When you change, your circle changes too. It means people around you can have a different place in your circle. Share on XI have a quote in my tiny book, “Unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, but not unconditional boundaries.” That doesn’t mean you always have to have a learning a big piece and values. Figuring out your values system is a big piece as well if you ask me. Values help decisions become easier. Be very clear on your values.
When you figure out who you are and you’re not doing it for this person or that person or for these kids or for this. When you’re doing it for you, it takes on such a different light and happiness that it makes it so much easier.
For many people, within a year, a lot of times, are devastated over divorce and often will find an incredible soulmate who is the blessing on the other side.
I think that there’s a lot of times people are reserved about that whole dating scene can be scary, especially if you haven’t healed and you don’t want to keep repeating the same pattern. You want to find where it is and what it is that is not healed in yourself that you’re looking for in other people that they can’t give you because you have to heal it in yourself to be able to have it. Other people can’t give it to you and it’ll be an unsatisfying relationships until you heal it inside you.
Looking for love in all the wrong places, and that whole song. We’re coming to the time. It always goes fast. I can’t believe. It’s easy to chat with people you love and joy. We chat. That’s all.
You make it so easy, Charla.
Facing Tough Times
It’s my name is a chat in Spanish and enjoy in Greek. It’s like I chat, but it’s interesting. I love to learn about different modalities and different things that people are doing and create a space where we can share that and have fun doing it. What’s next here? What’s going on next for you?
Those whole boundaries for impassive divorce, I am doing a free master class this 19th of September. That is coming up quickly. I have an eCourse and an eBook as well, but the master class is going to be a big deal.
That’s a big deal to set things like that up.
Of course, mention my book.
That was what I was coming through.
This is my story. This is how I came into going through all the different careers and everything that I did to find where I need to be to help most people move forward and be as empowered as they can possibly move forward and look forward to each day. If you’re not loving life, then something’s not right. We need to look at that.
Turn off the big black box.
I cut cable years ago and it’s been wonderful. I did that right before I had my hip replacement. It’s like, “You weren’t thinking about that, were you?” It’s like it’s too far because that’s when I wrote my book, actually.
That is an energy drainer and there’s not much on there that’s not inclined to put you in fear, divisiveness, or upset. An upset draws upset. That’s the same old thing. What you put out is what you’re going to get back. Getting awareness for people to take that and understand that is a big deal because you don’t realize how important it is to speak what you want, not what you don’t want. To write out what you want, not what you don’t want because you’re going to upset draws upset, it’s an easy way to say it. You’re going to get more of it.
Worry is praying for what we don’t want. When I taught parenting skills, when you tell Johnny, “Don’t color on the wall,” they hadn’t even thought of it, or if you say color on the paper. When we start putting out our worry, then we’re putting a whole bunch of stuff into the universe that the universe hadn’t even thought of yet. Don’t give it that defeat. Put out there what you want. Put it out and bring it back. Once you put out there’s what you’re going to get back. Be positive about it.
Episode Wrap-up
The Law of Attraction is real and we’ve not been trained on how to use it correctly very well as a general rule, but it works and continues doing all that. Amanda Beth, it is AmandaBethHealing.com. It’s been so much fun having you here today and I’m grateful. I know you’ve been doing some physical healing and we got senior tubers. Anybody want to join us on Thursdays at 11:00 AM central time, we have a lot of fun with senior tubers and that whole community. You can look for it on Facebook and YouTube.
You can find something on YouTube. It’s fun. It’s senior tubers. It’s like getting into that niche. I’m a healer first. I’m a divorce coach second. We’re YouTubers and that senior put a name on it.
It doesn’t mean an age. It more of a maturity level in YouTubing. Fran Acero, our dear friend.
She’s a hoot.
Thank you so much for joining me. I’m so grateful that you took the time and that we had fun together and we will continue to do all that. Find Amanda Beth Healing. I always encourage people, I usually encourage people at the end, like you’re perfect exactly who and where you are. Just be and remember that you are loved and if God is love, he can’t be not loved. If you are loved no matter what, and I will say, and I love you. If we all can remember that every single one of us is special and very most cherished. Receive that. Relax, release, and receive part of my mantra. I was thinking this morning at 2:00. I’m going to end this thing. Do you have any last word?
Be you, be true to you, and do what moves you. Listen to your inner voice. It’s right. It’s a lot of work to quiet it down, but your inner voice will guide you every time.
You have to be still and know. You have to turn off the noise for a little bit. Listen, and turn off the devices occasionally. Blessings, blessings, blessings. Remember to always choose joy.
Important Links
- Amanda Beth Healing
- Amanda Beth Healing – Facebook
- Amanda Beth Johnson – LinkedIn
- Your Divorce Healing – YouTube
- Amanda Beth Healing – Instagram
- Blooming Into Life
About Amanda Beth Johnson
Amanda Beth Johnson, a certified divorce coach, best-selling author, and speaker, combines over 30 years of crisis intervention experience with six ThetaHealing certifications to offer unparalleled guidance. Drawing from her journey as a child of divorce, a divorcee, and a mother, Amanda brings deep empathy and understanding to her work. Her compassionate approach empowers clients to navigate the complexities of divorce with resilience, fostering healing and personal growth during life’s most challenging transitions.
—
I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torch bearer, personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, Published Author and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion of living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.
On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.
Everything Charla: https://CharlaAnderson.com/links/
Live show every Wed at 1 pm CT.
https://WinWinWomen.tv/show/the-charla-anderson-show The WATCH Button turns green at 12:58 to join the live show. Also streamed on Roku, Amazon Fire, and Apple TV.
All replays are on my website, https://CharlaAnderson.com/tv-shows/
Become YOUR OWN Show Host: https://WinWinWomen.com/ref/Charla
Build your own website with amazing support: https://CoursePlatformAcademy.com/cpacharla/
Nutrition, Energy, Health, Vitality, Focus, Collagen, Brain Health: https://www.Zurvita.com/charla/en/us/
