Breathe Calm~Be You This Season: An Honest Christmas Check‑In
Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
Introduction
Good, beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (& EVERYONE is Fascinating!), especially you.
Oh, my goodness. My Christmas week podcast is a rare chance to talk honestly about what this season does to people. The pressure, the nostalgia, the loneliness, and the surprising moments of generosity that still break through all of that. At its core, every version of this week historically is about how humans deal with the darkest days of the year and try to believe that the light will come back. It’s different for everyone, and that makes this week a mirror for how we deal with our own winters.
…BUT FIRST…
We’re going to take the 22 second mini vacation. We’re going to breathe in calm for seven seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. And don’t you need it, especially today. So here, join me a little bit. Let’s breathe in some calm. Here we go. Hold. Relax, release. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The season of the year. I think we could use a little bit more of that. Don’t you? Oh my goodness. So what are we really celebrating here? And, you know, I’m not done seasonal things. These come out, you know, it’ll be after Christmas, most likely when you hear this, but you know, forget theology for a second. And forget theology for a second. If all the religions disappeared, what would you miss most about this week? And what would you gladly leave behind? This week is supposed to be magical, but for some of us, it’s actually almost a non-event full of obligations and unmet expectations, memories, good, bad, and different history. Yeah. Christmas has always been kind of a mashup of all these ancient solstice parties, the Roman Saturnalia, Nordic Yule. And then later the Christian religion. And all these layers all stacked on one another in one long midwinter coping mechanism. It’s really what a lot of these things are going on.
And it’s evolved multiple times and in multiple ways. So we’re just talking now. Let’s just find out, how does this affect you? At its core, every version of this week, this Christmas week, is how humans deal with the darkest days of the year. You know, I hadn’t really thought of that very much. You know, but we’re in these. I have thought much about the shortest day of the year, which is not my favorite. No, no, no, no. I love the longest day of the year. So, but back in the day, there wasn’t, you know, electricity. Do you think that people were hoping that the light would come back, right? So they’re in these short days and no electricity. They had stars and moons and that’s it, right? Whoa. And the sun, thankfully. But they’re trying to believe that the light would come back. And actually, somehow, that makes this week a mirror for how we deal with our own personal problems. winters. We just got a little discussion around some of that today. We’re going to be honest about what this week really feels like and hopefully leave you feeling a little less alone or a little more honest with yourself.
Rest assured, I love Jesus. Yet my quiet relationship with him has just about nothing to do with this mostly pagan-originated holiday. Most of us don’t want to face that, but that’s the truth. It did not originate because Jesus was born. It was long before that. My focus today is to help us consider this beautiful time of year and how we can love each other through it. Let’s call it an annual x-ray of the human heart. You know, sometimes there’s a weight that we don’t want to talk about. For many, Christmas magnifies what is already there. Grief feels sharper. Financial stress feels louder. And comparison culture is brutal. When every feed shows perfect families and perfect gifts and plenty of abundance and money, you know, there is no lack out there. I’ll just add that. However, the distribution right now has been, has affected many of us, including me. Absolutely. So now we’re going to look at facing it head on. Name your weight. Is it the empty chair at the table? Is it the argument that still hangs in the air?
Is it the bills that you are quietly ignoring? Naming it out loud can kind of feel like a rebellion against the Instagram version of Christmas, right? Perhaps it’s the rebellion of perfectionism. That’s what I’d like to think. So I believe that I’ve witnessed, and it seems like there is a trend, for a quiet revolt against the consumerized Christmas. Modern Christmas in America was heavily shaped by marketing, Victorian nostalgia, which I love, and massive retail agenda. Our classic Christmas is largely a 19th to 20th century invention that has been grossly commercialized and monetized, leaving the real reasons behind in this frenetic chaos of the season.
Yet every year, there are those who push back against the commercialization in small ways by agreeing to maybe no gift packs or no gift giving, no exchanges for themselves or capping their budgets. They’re pushing back by choosing experiences together instead of exchanging gifts. Are giving anonymously somehow to charities or to those that can never pay you back.
That’s really, that’s generosity at its finest. What if the most honest gift you could give someone this week is a boundary? What? What? Do you make purchases just to avoid disapproval? Do you get things you don’t have a heart? Are you in a rush, what can I get them? It doesn’t feel honorable, right? It doesn’t feel truth. What if you chose to honor your truth? Obligations, it feels obligatory so much. And when we give out of obligation, it doesn’t land well, doesn’t feel good for us. And, you know, I’m guessing that the vast majority, you know, it’s a token thing. Thank you very much. We honor the tradition. I mean, I’m not saying don’t do, don’t do that. I mean, it’s, It’s a fine rope we’re walking here, but if you start honoring your truth and the truth of your situation and the truth of your family, and I’m not ever going to suggest that you dismiss them or change the whole tradition, but Every year, maybe a little more honoring of what your needs are and what you desire.
What if the point of the season isn’t joy, but truth? What if Christmas is less about pretending everything is okay and more about telling the truth about where we are? Authenticity, you know, being honest with yourself while honoring traditions is also a conversation worth having. You remember my, I often quote my saying, unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, but not unconditional boundaries. That’s especially true this time of year. And harder people are to love, the more they need it. We always tack that on, right? So this time of year, we often get thrust into places we are expected to be. It is okay to begin honoring yourself and perhaps changing those expectations. I will add that expectations, unmet, I will say it this way, unmet expectations are the absolute core of disappointment. I will have a show about unmet expectations and where they lead. Yes, anyway, back to the story. It’s not, it is okay to find new ways to, okay, let me go back. It is okay to begin honoring yourself and changing expectations.
However, it is also okay to find new ways to communicate by taking a stand for yourself without being harsh and speaking your truth while really learning to listen. Really learn to have discourse, conversation, and hear another point of view. We don’t have to take offense to everything, right? A little over that. Or we don’t have to take offense to anything, for that matter. You know, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Nothing offends you. because you don’t take anything personally and you don’t make assumptions. The other two are do your best and be impeccable with your word. Great book by Don Miguel Ruiz. Yes. And, oh yeah, I highly recommend the book, The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher. You know, gosh, he’s brilliant. He’s got a ton of brilliant shorts on Facebook and, You know, the next conversation, argue less, talk more. He gives us tricks and tools on how to communicate. He’s a world-class trial lawyer. He’s a master at it. Great, great, great book. Gift yourself that one.
And then, of course, my book, Split Second Transformation, Change Your Words, Change Your Life, 31 Daily Practice, will help you with that. Find it on Amazon. I’ll send it to you. Every word matters. Every word matters. And we can begin shifting the dynamics, perhaps even in our core families, by learning to chop off those responses, I mean, those reactions that we have and learn to take a breath and respond. Jefferson Fisher will help us with that a lot. So ask yourself, what do you love? What do you love most about this week?
Is there something you would happily leave behind? Hmm. You know, my situation has changed so dramatically over the years. I always, always, always, you know, I had three kids and three stepkids and I was a flight attendant and commuted and worked max hours and I wanted to be the perfect mom, I never slept and I would be up at 3 a.m. on Christmas morning getting all the stuff out so at 6 a.m. they could come up and unwrap it. It was a crazy expectations.
And I’ll just say this. I recently found out one of my children, you know, just doesn’t like the season. Doesn’t like this season. It kind of gut punched me because I tried so hard. make it so wonderful and beautiful. But there was always something that didn’t go right, right? So unmet expectations is the core of disappointment and to hold them there. And so what I’m going to suggest because we want, we don’t want to lose our childlike excitement and wonder. This is huge. We want to have expectations of a fun and exciting time. But what if we Release attachment to the outcome, to what really happens. That, you know, you didn’t get the exact gift you wanted, so you’re disappointed the rest of your life instead of, oh, they thought of me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And release attachment to the outcome. Have the childlike excitement on Christmas morning. And know, not just on Christmas morning, by the way, have that curiosity and that wonder and that excitement and let go of the outcome of your expectations.
Don’t completely let go of expectations, please. But the unmet expectations, that’s where we start getting that disappointment. And it can eat at you. So let’s find a way to work through that. I will have a conversation again on my show about these unmet expectations. Ordinary stories that are actually miracles. You know, history is full of small kindnesses that never made the headlines, but changed someone’s entire memory of the season. Don’t you love the stories of the waitresses getting $100 tips and buying the groceries for the veterans in line in front of us? Yeah. And I know stories of, you know, offices, offices coming together, business friends coming together to a meal, and they each bring an envelope for that waitress. Sometimes it’s thousands of dollars. The heartwarming stories of all of the generosity that is out there in our world. And you may have some stories of your secret Santa’s and surprises I’d love to hear. Feel free to share. And let’s just ask this question.
What is one small rescue or service that you can do this week to make someone else smile? What can we do to give a little bit, lighten the load, lift the burden, but carry somebody’s, open the door, whatever it is. Let’s find a way to make a difference in our world. Candy bar hugs, it doesn’t take much to make a difference. Now, what if, you know, I offer a candy bar and a hug, that story, that many, many years and that those stories are heartwarming, right? Doesn’t take much to make a difference. And what if we started framing generosity, not as charity so much, but from the strong to the weak, right? I’ve got it, you don’t. But as a mutual respect, helping our fellow man. You know, often in the winter, in the past months, winter months, sharing with survival. I’ve got eggs, you’ve got a turkey, you know, whatever, sharing with survival. Instinctively, I think we are still wired that way. We are givers, especially this week. So we’re going to ask some different kinds of questions right now.
So if things are kind of dark for you right now, can you think of one small light you can shine? Can you find a little tea light that you can light in a dark room and watch that flame fill the light? Focus on one thing that would make a difference in someone else’s life. That is a powerful step out of depression. If that is a tendency for you, shift one focus on someone else or something else that you can serve. That’s turning a light on someone else’s life. Who needs your presence rather than your presence or gifts? That’s a good question. Is there an old story about Christmas that you can stop doing? You know, so many things we just do out of habit. What is a small new tradition that you can plan on for next year and replace the one that is no longer serving you? So this week does not magically fix anything, of course. It just offers a yearly checkpoint to start noticing what hurts, what heals, and who’s still standing behind us, beside us. I want you to know this. You’re not failing at this season.
You’re just a human being. We’re just doing the best we can with all we know and all we have. And my quote in here that I dearly love, I wrote it for my children primarily, but I did what I did. I didn’t do what I didn’t do. I did all that I knew to do with what I knew at the time, just like you did and are doing in your life right now. I love you. We’ve got to understand that we’re all in this world together. And we’re all connected. And if someone else is hurting, can we make a difference? And lift that, you know, just make a difference. May you be blessed. May you be blessed. May you be blessed. That’ll help. That’ll make a difference too. Just love. And I want to tell you, as I say often, you. You. You, listener, right now are perfect exactly who and where you are. There’s nowhere else that you have to be than where you are. You are perfect right now. Who and where you are, you can’t be loved more or less by God. Yeah, you’ve been provided for if you can take a breath. And if you’re listening to this, you are provided for and can take a breath and you can reach out.
There are resources, abundant resources. I have so many if you need a hand up. Love each other. You know, you are loved, and I love you, and I want you to always remember joy is a choice. Service is a choice. Complaining is a choice. Always, always, always remember to choose joy.
BOOKS Mentioned:
“Split-Second Transformation~Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices” by Charla
“Candy Bar Hugs~It Doesn’t Take Much To Make A Difference!” by Charla
“The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz:
“The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More” by Jefferson Fisher
About Charla:
I’d REALLY appreciate it if you will Like and Subscribe to my YouTube Channel. Thank You!
Charla’s Choices (ASK!) Charla@CharlaAnderson.com:
Charla’s Choices (ASK!):
>>TexitCoin Please let me help you get started building generational wealth!
tinyurl.com/TexitCoinInfo Please let me help you get started
Inspiring Visionary Video: TXC to $2,000? Bobby Gray Breaks it down Live 8.26.25
https://www.youtube.com/live/aEaiDrFUWVM?si=HeAghaBP5Dl5NSxx
>>ZINZINO: What is your ‘Critical Health Score?’
Get Zinzino ‘Test-Based Personalized Nutrition’ in the cellular level:
Are YOU in the Safe Zone?
Inflammation = Dis-ease!
Delve deeper:
Direct link to the TEST & BalanceOil+ purchase page:
https://tinyurl.com/CharlaZTestAndOil
Reach out to Charla for more information on this product. 100% of people & pets on the planet CAN take it. 97%-99% tested SHOULD take it. Are YOU in the Safe Zone? Charla@CharlaAnderson.com
HOT STOCK TIP: ZNZNF on NASDAQ
(2 min) Art Jonak’s Omega Hands Demo:
(5 min) Dr Rik’s Intro video:
Dr Rik’s websites:
zbalancetest.com (has leaky gut video)
zteaminfo.com (business)
(15 min) Jerry’s Test Story:
https://tinyurl.com/JerrysZStory
email: Charla@CharlaAnderson.com. Reach out.
NOTE: Some links may provide a small commission to Charla Anderson if purchased without effecting the purchaser.
—
Get In Touch
—
I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming, and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torchbearer, a personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, a Published Author, and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion for living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.
On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, princess-to-queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.
Everything Charla: https://CharlaAnderson.com/links/
Live show every Wed at 1 pm CT.
All replays are on my website, https://CharlaAnderson.com/tv-shows/
Build your own website with amazing support: https://CoursePlatformAcademy.com/cpacharla/
Nutrition, Energy, Health, Vitality, Focus, Collagen, Brain Health: https://www.Zurvita.com/charla/en/us/
CBD: https://www.ZBlendsHemp.com/charla/en/us/
Charla@CharlaAnderson.com
NOTE: Some links may provide a small commission to Charla Anderson if purchased.
