When Two Mindset Coaches Come Together, Watch Out World

When Two Mindset Coaches Come Together, Watch Out World

About Lynda Malka

Lynda Malka shares her powerful journey from trauma and loss to becoming a mindset coach for Christian women. A former educator, she now helps others reclaim their worth, embrace healing, and step boldly into the God-dreams on their hearts.

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Introduction

Good, beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (& EVERYONE is Fascinating!), especially you.

So we’re gonna have meeting in the mind, so the mindsets. We’ve got two mindset coaches this week, and we’re gonna just have so much fun just testing each other out and see how that goes. Listen to Lynda Malka as we begin. talking about mindset. However,

…BUT FIRST…

we’re gonna do a little breathing exercise and that breathing exercise is gonna breathe in some calm for seven seconds, hold for four seconds and breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. So here we go, breathe in some calm with me. Hold. Relax, release. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

Don’t you think being still and knowing just for a few seconds a day is a good idea? Anyway, I’m so grateful to have Lynda Malka. We know each other through Prosper and Brenda Byers, and I cannot wait for you to hear who she is and what she’s all about because she’s a dynamo. And so, Lynda. Thank you. So happy to have you with me. So let’s, you know, who are you in this world? Let’s talk about that. Thank you for having me on too.

I appreciate that. Well, you know, I’m a wife. I’m a mom. I’m a Gigi. We were just talking about that. And I’m a former educator, but now I’ve turned all of my talents into becoming, into being an intuitive mindset coach for women and also a business mentor. And I love working with women who understand what it feels like to not be fully living into their purpose. 

You know, I spent a lot of years living smaller than I was created to be, doubting myself, dismissing myself. and the call of my life because I just thought it was too late or it was just too much to do. I didn’t know where to begin. So I love helping women step into that with me now.

That’s awesome. I know that you say we’re not broken, it’s not too late, it’s not just to become who we’re called to be, right? Right. And that is a mindset in most, so many of us, I think that I’m in a similar frame, time frame of life when, is that all there is? 

You know, when that, get to that transitional stage, their kids are gone or their job is, you know, unfulfilling or they’re, you know, and that they want to contribute and they don’t know where to start or how to start. So that seems like it’s what you’re

Well, it seems like so many of us have gone through things, right? We’ve survived things, things that we didn’t think we’d ever talk about. let alone learn from. It took me a while to realize there were lessons in some of the things that I went through with the childhood trauma, with an abusive marriage, with losing a job that I loved and cherished so much, right? 

There’s just a little bit of yourself that can go with those things. And then there are also stories that we absorb and agree with when we don’t actually say, wait, that’s not me. And we let people speak over us, well-meaning people, right? You know, our parents, our teachers, pastors, whatever, whoever impacted our lives meant well. It’s just that we gleaned a message from that that maybe wasn’t intended.

Absolutely, I think you know, we get things, and we make up stories about things, right? We make up a story. We plant the story back here in the back of our noodle and never ever think about it. 

I never realized that it’s driving our lives, you know, you make an a bad grade and have been seventh grade and you plant it back here and you go know I must be stupid is the story you make up when the fact is you just made an F or you just didn’t study or whatever it was.

But that’s what I told you I was stupid see, I told you I was stupid, everything there it’s driving their life when they’re not really it’s not who they are but it’s who they become because they say it

Over and over and i’m always saying every word matters right so it does every word plant every thought plants a seed right so grow what you truly want and the other thing is is once that seed is in there it’s kind of like when you get a new car And you see them everywhere where you didn’t even notice them before. 

So those thoughts, we go around collecting evidence. See, like you just said, see, see, I’m not, you know, I used to think I wasn’t good at math. Now I realize math is a growth area, but every single opportunity it was like, yeah, it’s a math thing. I don’t do math, you know. We do that in so many areas of our lives. It’s this tape that’s playing in the background the whole time, the volume is so low, we don’t know, and it creates our reality if we don’t actually figure out a way to change the tape.

And yeah, those little voices never shut up. Then they’re never going to tell you, oh, yeah, go try that. That’s something new. Go try that. They will never, the voices will never encourage you to do something that’s never been done before, even if what’s been done before was not fun or good or happy. 

It’s just what it knows, safe. So that’s so great. You know, I talk so much. I mean, when I started this, the Charla Anderson show, you know, it’s like I want to talk and hear stories of hope and people overcoming and how did they do that and what are they offering, you know, and we don’t ever want to turn around and face. 

How can I say this? So often I think in a lot of maybe therapies, you know, you focus on what happened and stay there, right? You don’t turn it around to looking forward to what’s possible. And that’s why I like to talk to people about all this. It’s like, You know, so you’ve had some trauma. I mean, my guests last week, I cried. I don’t, it’s just not normal for me to do that, but. Oh, yeah.

There’s been people that have been through stuff.

And everybody has, everybody’s got a story or more, multiple stories, but. Yes. So do you have any is it okay to talk about some things that you’ve overcome and how that when you finally realize, you know, wow, I can do more than I thought I could do.

Yes, absolutely. That’s why we’re here, you know, and if we don’t, if I don’t talk about it, other people won’t know oh gosh that’s I’ve been through that, and she’s okay now so I can be okay now, right at some point. So I mean I wrote it, so I wrote a chapter in a book last summer, and I wrote about some of the trauma that I had experienced, and I actually realized I kind of re-traumatized parts of myself writing it. 

But it was good. God was like, it’s time to get this out. It’s time to talk about it. One of the things was when I was six years old, I moved into a brand new neighborhood in Hawaii, somebody came by, I think it was probably a mover with the crew moving us in, came by, asked where we lived. Can you show me? I got in the car. I got in the car. Thank God, after he finished molesting me, he pushed me out of the car because I was too much of a crier. So I realized I played a part in that because I didn’t actually stand up for myself.

And then afterward, when it was assumed that I had just walked and gotten lost, I didn’t correct anyone. I just let that story speak for a long time until I started to become a mindset coach. And when you become a coach, as you know, you deal with your own things because you don’t want your stuff to be triggered while you’re helping a client, right? So all of that came roaring back to me and I realized like I didn’t, I stuffed the trauma and I had. 

I worked with a gal named Celeste. We did some EMDR, and how she explained it made so much sense to me. I love to explain it to people this way. When we go through things, when we go through trauma, if we can’t deal with it in the moment, we kind of shove it behind a plexiglass wall. 

We just keep shoving anything in there that we can’t deal with behind the wall until something actually triggers it. And that is a process like tuning forks. If you hold two tuning forks of the same tune, you can put one in your hand, one across the room, and when you strike the one in your hand, the one across the room could be way, way far away, sounds off eventually. 

And it’s the same thing with the things that we’ve been through and with our trauma. Something will eventually trigger it unless we actually heal it when it comes up and deal with it so that that is no longer something that impacts us the way that it used to. Does that make sense?

E-M-D-R, you might as well define it because not everybody will know what that is.

I don’t even know the, I don’t, it’s a… Emotional… It’s dealing with trauma in a kind of a physical way, because she kind of has you picture a calm, peaceful place, and then she has you talk about the trauma, and then she’s like, okay, go back to your peaceful place. Who is she? Celeste, she’s the therapist that I was working with. Okay.

So, I mean, sorry, your audience is going to have to look that up because I didn’t do it for very long. I’ve done multiple things to actually deal with the trauma and I think a lot of people have to do that. And you’ve got to love that little girl.

You know, you’ve just got to love that little girl. She didn’t know better and I’m guessing that the vast majority of people that are walking right now and in the past have experienced horrific things. Yes. And then they, you know, I didn’t have the courage to say anything. I was too shy. I didn’t want, I didn’t want, I mean, what did I, it was my fault, you know, whatever, all of those horrific things that we’ve survived.

And you do, you shut down the little girl because you have to actually function. right? You have to actually get through the day and function. And you know, it wasn’t until years later that I actually, you know, like I said, it came up and I dealt with it, you know. And I’m a strong believer things come up to be healed when you’re ready. 

I wasn’t ready at six years old, right? I’m ready. I was ready later. And that happens for a lot of us as well. The other thing is you try to make sense of it. You try to make sense of some of the trauma you’ve been through. And sometimes it just is. There is no making sense of it. It just was.

And honestly, I do believe we can, there are modalities that can offer you the opportunity to rewrite the story, right?

Yes.

Whatever we get to choose is all choice.

Yes.

And we get to choose if we’re going to stay there, stay in the trauma and the drama and let it drive our lives for the rest of our lives, or are we going to go It happened. I deal so much in what’s so. So what’s so, right this second, is you and I talking. And what’s so is there’s not one other place to be than where we are, right this second, right? 

Everything since Let There Be Light has drawn us or brought us to this moment in this moment in time and all of that versus my seventy one years you know all of that has brought us to this split second and it We can’t change one of those things we but we can change the next word in the next step And if we don’t like where we are I love where we are, but if we don’t like if you don’t like where you are You can change your words. You can make a different choice and be and take that next step and yes coaches are amazing at You know many I think most of them are amazing. 

It’s working with you in that moment. So this mindset we can change our minds. We can change, we can rewrite that story or we can frame it in a different way and get that healing out and be real, be you, be who you are, who you’re called to be and who are you meant to be and who you will bless others by being.

Yeah, and there’s this divide, right? There’s what was and what can be. Right? So part of mindset is what’s your vision for moving forward? What’s your vision for who you want to be? What’s your vision for where you want to be? Right? 

And also the belief and the knowledge that we’re given everything we need. If you’ve got that idea in your head, if the seed is planted in your head, you have everything you need to grow it.

So I see you’ve got a quote, every thought plants a seed and choose the ones that grow with what truly want, right?

Yes, but we don’t realize that’s one of the things when you keep reliving the stuff, that’s where your focus is, right? So that’s what I’m planting more of. So if I don’t want to keep planting that and reaping that crop, plant something else.

I love garden analogies. I can tell, I love that too. You know, that’s awesome. But every word matters and every thought matters. And we can’t, you know, feelings are not right or wrong. Feelings have, you know, it’s just how you deal with them. Yeah, they are. And they don’t have a value of right or wrong. 

So no, you’ve got to be able to manage them. You don’t have a feeling, you know, I hate that person, right? And then hurt somebody, but you got to learn. And I’m not sure that a lot of our society is gaining those lessons that they were, you know, it’s like they got to act on what they feel, and that’s not true.

Well, that is not the truth. Right. And where is it taught? Even when I was in school, where were you taught to deal with things and how to deal with things? We’re not. Unfortunately, we’re not equipped very well that way. Unless you have very stellar parents who actually teach you in amazing steps and we’re all doing the best we can, right?

Yes, I’m looking for my granddaughter, I have a book that’s her favorite book, just one of her favorite books, but it’s called, I had it sitting right here and it’s not here right now, Listening to My Body. And it’s about the difference in sensations and in feelings and having you know, and gives you ideas of how to manage them when you’re, you know, you’re processing and, and breathing and, you know, and I, and we do tapping. She’s got, she, she’s learning tapping and karate chop and, you know. So good. 

Yeah, so she and she’s got her affirmations and I’m like, okay, you get upset. What can you do? You know, and yeah, she says breathe and one of them is horse lips. He’s like, he’s so angry at his sister and then he starts to realize that he can breathe and he can move the puzzle that was broken and he can you know, and finding problem-solving skills right and yeah using them and horse lips you know she she loves doing the horse lips and that’s yeah he said start just buzz through your lips and and pretty just to get that feeling out and then pretty soon you feel silly and then you kind of laugh and then you know so 

it’s it’s just a fun book and I love that you’re doing that. That is equipping her. I mean as soon as she could really talk and she would say I am and she would go happy. Well now she’s got a whole, she remembers them without reminding but if she’s got, we added helpful and strong and smart and Trustworthy is my one of my favorites.

I am trustworthy and then when I say are you? I can trust you, you’re trustworthy, right? So I’m gonna trust you to sit right here while I go, you know do this and yeah, yeah, so mindset and affirmations and telling yourself who you are and if you don’t believe it, it still is helpful to begin speaking what you desire. I always said in my books, split-second transformation, change your words, change your life, 31 daily practices. And so speak what you want, not what you don’t want. 

And our mentoring coach, Brenda Byers, with Prosper and all things, she’s like, you know, want means lack. She reminded us of that. I think I’m sure I knew it, but so now I change it to speak what you desire, not what you don’t. And desire is of the father or of the giver. So speak what you desire, not what you don’t.

Yes. And you know you brought up a really good point and that is if we can’t if we speak it and we don’t think that’s us yet sometimes it’s easier to look at somebody that you actually um and want to be like right you want to emulate them they’re like somebody you’re like oh i wish i was like her oh she’s so amazing just start envisioning yourself being like that right because we can borrow somebody else until we can get ourselves there right That’s awesome. 

Sometimes that actually helps a whole lot to go, okay, well, you know, I, she does that. I am nice. She’s nice. I didn’t, you know, you can, you can actually work your way up there like a ladder.

Right. She’s got, she’s, she’s got poise. I have poise, you know, you can say that.

Right.

Or you can even model it, right?

Emulate. You can model it. What, what, what feels right for you though, right? We don’t want to become a puppet of somebody else because we’re unique. We’re made differently than they are. but you can model some of the things that you like to see, you know? I don’t know. I’m trying.

Yeah, this is masterful. I believe that this could be, you know, people can just listen to this and get hope that they too can step into something bigger than what they feel like. Where they are now. You know, so you’ve just got to step take that first step. And Lynda, L-Y-N-D-A, by the way, I meant to do this in the beginning, L-Y-N-D-A, Lynda. Yes. With a Y and then Malka, M-A-L-K-A. M-A-L-K-A. Okay. And that’s dot com, right?

Yes.

That’s one way they can find you. So I like to- That’s my website. Probably need to toss that in there.

Thank you.

So if somebody’s looking for an amazing mindset coach in California, But it doesn’t matter.

Thank you. Or even online.

One of the things I want to go back to that you mentioned, too, Charla, is feelings, right? And how feelings, dealing with feelings and what feelings do. One of the things that we’ve been told by Brenda, that I don’t know that I knew before, is that feelings have a vibration. right and I think that what we you know what we where we are vibrating energetically because we all do every living thing has a vibration we’re going to attract it like a magnet so if we can get ourselves work ourselves up just bit by bit by bit by bit to a better feeling like we can go from worry to disappointment from overwhelm try to get up to just okay 

I’m a little frustrated, go from frustrated to OK, I don’t know how to respond to this. Then try to get to, OK, things are just OK right now. To, oh, I like that, right? It’s a slow progression. And some days we can only get to the next rung in the ladder. But I feel like it’s a bit like a swimming pool. If our legs are dangling in the low-vibration water, they’re going to get wet with all the low-vibration things, right? So if we can get ourselves up to a place where we’re not hanging in the ceiling of all of those things, will actually start to see our life feel better even if it may not be significant significantly better if that makes any sense and I know that’s easier said than done sometimes I get that.

Totally, and there are keys, and the number one key to getting a mindset shift is gratitude. And if you can just every single day, my little one, I’m having her do you know gratitude before bed so she has that mindset at night and then she wakes up with those affirmations so that’s the plan and yeah so it’s a good plan but gratitude even even if you can’t think of anything to be thankful for. 

You know there are people in the throes of depression that just can’t could not there’s nothing no there’s no light it’s all dark yes one of the the really the two best ways to start getting out of that is first of all gratitude and you go okay can’t think of anything to be thankful for but grateful I have toenails, you know, I mean, it doesn’t have to be much. And breathing oxygen, 

I have a mentor that says keep breathing free oxygen. And I say, yeah, on this side of the dirt in Texas. Right, exactly. But you know, I’m outrageously optimistic. I have that mindset. And I wasn’t always, I wasn’t always and it’s certainly not a hundred percent of the time, but it is the vast majority because I’m choosing everyday to live in gratitude. There’s another really good exercise that once you get some gratitude going, you know, and start forgiving yourself and forgiving the forgiveness piece. That’s a big piece. It’s a big piece, but people are resistant to that. They can’t imagine.

Well, they figure out how to forgive someone else a lot sooner than they realize they need to forgive themselves, right? For me, who was in a marriage that was so not great, I got to where I could forgive him. It took me a long time to forgive myself for making that choice for myself, right? And it was a missing piece for a long, long time.

Good, thankfully, you did figure that out, and because of it, he’s walking around doing his life, it has and not, and you’re walking around, you know, totally totally uh destroying your life and and you know this, and that happens to a lot of people.

Honestly, when we were first divorced, I couldn’t imagine ever forgiving, you know? And then I realized what you just said, the forgiveness wasn’t for him. He’s out walking around having a great grand old time. It was for me, so that I could actually sever all of those emotions and all of that yuck and send it away from me. 

And then it still would come up, you know, my daughters as they would struggle with different things within the relationship with both of us, with their dad and me. And I’d be like, I’m so sorry, sorry I made that choice. But he didn’t forgive me until, and then when I finally went, okay, you know what, I was doing the best that I could with what the tools I had and with what I knew at the time. And when we can get to that place, it makes a big difference in moving forward, right?

This tiny little book, Candy Bar Hugs, it doesn’t take much to make a difference. I quote from it all the time. I wrote it in 2017. It’s a 25-minute read on Audible. But it’s Candy Bar Hugs. It doesn’t take much to make a difference. What I wrote and the dedication to my kids, it’s like I did what I did. I didn’t do what I didn’t do. 

I did all that I knew to do with what I knew at the time, just like you did and are doing in your life right now. I love you. And I call it a forgiveness release. I did what I did. I mean, I can’t change one thing I said or did, not one. I can acknowledge it now and say, look, man, I only knew, I wish I’d have done it different, but I didn’t. 

And I can only tell you, let’s make a new agreement moving forward, right? We can do something different moving forward, even if we can’t moving back. So, it’s truly a gift to ourselves to, you know. And it was kind of flippant at one time, oh yeah, you did what you did and you didn’t. I was like, actually, it’s pretty deep when you stop to think about it. It is. I did what I did and I didn’t do what I didn’t do,

but it wasn’t about you. And so few things people say or do to someone is so rarely about you, right? It’s about, it’s them. You might trigger something in them that they decide to, they choose to say something hurtful or do something hurtful. It’s so rarely about, really about the person.

And so I call it an ish them versus an ish you. right? Sometimes it’s an ish to them. It has nothing to do with you, why they react or why they do whatever they do. But here’s a nugget about forgiveness. When we get to a place where we are able to forgive, we not only bless generations in front of me.

I blessed my daughters by being able to forgive their dad. Be in the same room, do holidays, all of that stuff, because they don’t have the divided stuff, right? But you’re also healing the past generations, the stuff that my mom and dad didn’t, they didn’t divorce, they were together the whole time, but they didn’t know different ways to equip, right? It just heals all of it. That’s amazing.

That’s truly a beautiful concept. Right. I mean, the crud can stop here with us, with you and me. Yes. And when you just you know, just be I just I wish we could learn when I first started getting that word to just be I didn’t have to strive so hard I can just be and just let it let life flow and it’s a hard concept for most of us we think 

We got to do right so just being and relaxing and releasing and letting it go Michael Singer if you’ve ever read untethered soul and some of those things he’s famous like he said you know we get so upset somebody cuts us off and we’re all upset and i’m like well they probably now i’m trying like yeah well they probably need to go to the bathroom better more than me or something like that i just kind of make it lighter.

So few people are doing things to you, even though we want to take it personally, and the four agreements, which you know is the number one book. I recommend good, but Michael Singer says you know picture you so here we are out of billions and billions and billions and billions of people in the past and in the future, eight billion right now. We’re a pinprick in eternity. And we’re going to use our little pinprick of years upset over everything? 

Yeah. You know, why? And what if we could just, oh, it’s what happened, you know, and instead of getting so wrapped up in the anger.

The what?

The drama. I’m like, I gave up attachment to drama and I’m like, I just don’t want this back, I can tell you when it was 2013, I think. And I was like, I don’t think I had a lot of it anyway, generally speaking, but I’m like, I just kind of walk around oblivious, you know, to the mess that people want to keep attacking me with. And I had some,

I have some older grandkids, former grandkids, step-grandkids or whatever you want to call them. I don’t see them much anymore. But I was, I gave them tools of, you know, protection. I said, nobody can hurt your feelings without your permission. Nobody can make you angry without your permission. You get to choose if that’s going to be, you’re gonna receive it. And bullies are victims too. 

I talk about that in this little tiny book. Bullies are victims, too. And it doesn’t mean you, so another quote from that book that I wrote is, unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, not unconditional boundaries. You don’t have to say when you’re, see this is a thing when we forgive, we often think, You got to open the front door again?

No.

We’ve got to let them in. And I’m like, no, no, my message is always unconditional love, unconditional love. And then I was like, people might take that. That also means you have to be with them. That doesn’t mean that at all.

No, no, no, no. You’re right. You’re so right. But moving on to if you’re okay with it, if we can kind of also address the fact that sometimes the things that happen in our lives that cause us pain, like for me, when I lost a job that I loved, loved, loved, loved, I created a charter school program for people that homeschool their kids. 

And I ran it for 14 years and then it was gone. It was like a family. It was like my little family. And then one year it was like, yep, this is your role here is done. But here’s the thing. I had hints that it was time to move on. And I think God does that. Like he goes, Hello, keep going. Hello, move along. And you don’t. And and then he has to really do something to get your attention, right? And move on. 

This season is over. And I’m like, what? Well, I’m not done with this season. I lost my to a flight attendant. I mean, you know, 34 years, it was the dream job for me.

Yeah, devastating, isn’t it? But I had somebody say it was and I was I was mourning, mourning the heck out of that until I had a friend say to me, Lynda, listen, it sounds like you are not willing to move along. and changed what you were doing, so it was changed for you. Your pipeline was opened up so something else could come in. I was like, oh, wow, okay. I didn’t like that whole process, or as my friend says, it was a gift.

It was a gift wrapped in sandpaper, but a gift nonetheless. sandpaper. That’s great. Right? Sometimes we have these encounters in these things in these teachable moments in our lives that are like that. They’re gifts wrapped in sandpaper because we didn’t actually learn when it was a little emery board against our fingernails, right? That would have been so much easier to do that. That doesn’t hurt much. 

No, sometimes people, the only time they’ll change really big changes is through pain. We’re motivated by pain and we’re motivated by reward. Most people choose pain. They don’t know it, they’re choosing it, but it is still the choice. No, exactly. So what mindset is about is like, okay, listen, before it gets to the gift wrapped in sandpaper stage, take a look around the landscape and make a choice that is actually growing something in the direction you wanna be. And so for you, when your flight attendant job went away, what came into your pipeline? What was the immediate next thing that you did?

I didn’t know what to do, but so many things happened in the moment, and my dad died right after that. There’s just a lot of things were coming at me at the same time. I guess I had the more flexibility to be at certain places than I might have otherwise.

But yeah, so… Was there like a time of reflection where you actually kind of got to know pieces of Charla that you didn’t get time to?

Yes, and so that was in 2008. So it’s been a while since that that time frame and I don’t think I was recognizing it at the time. I was thinking that at that time, I just You know, I had my identity, who I am as a flight attendant, right? Who I am was a mom and my kids were just moving out. I still am a mom, but you know, they were leaving that same time frame. And then anyway,

I did lots of changes at one time. I did a lot. And then I went, I mean, I retired and I went to my sister’s and stayed with her while my dad was sick and dying and died. for the first three weeks of my retirement, I was not even home. And, you know, that’s an interesting question, because I hadn’t thought of it in that regard. I did step into, I had no idea that networking existed. I didn’t know that there were AIDS groups. I didn’t know. I started collecting

I didn’t know there were life coaches at one point. I was like, I remember meeting somebody saying, I’m a life coach. And I’m like, that’s a thing. What is that? I didn’t know.

We don’t know what we don’t know and that’s where they don’t that thing. We don’t know it’s a it’s a blind spot. That’s where we stack all these things that happen to us that we make stories up about it. We’re going back to that Yeah, that’s where they stack. That’s where they get stuck And there’s a blind spot back here and you don’t know what you don’t know No. 

You don’t know what you know what you know, and you know that you don’t know things, but you don’t know what you don’t know. There’s 99% of the world, you’ve got this experience and you know about surgeons, you just aren’t one, right? So you know what you, that you don’t, you know enough.

I know I don’t know that.

Oh my gosh. I know I don’t know that and I’m not gonna try that. But then all the rest of the universe has, if we’re in the shape of a pie, right? You know, we know what we know, we know what we don’t know, but we don’t know what we don’t know, right?

And there’s, but the thing is, I don’t know about you, but when my job went away, my beloved job went away, I realized some major things because I had time and I had stillness. And I had to fill that time. And sometimes that time was thinking, right? And thinking and thinking. And one of the things that I realized was, my natural rhythm is not the rhythm of a bell schedule at a school. I realize I do a lot better. 

I used to have to get up way, wee hours in the morning to get me ready, to get my children ready to go to school and commute and all that. I don’t like rushing like that. When I have my druthers, I have a routine. I’d like to get to my routine, right? But my routine doesn’t start at 5.30 a.m. necessarily for me, right? And then it was times to think about, well, what do I want to do next? Well, what are my gifts and talents? Well, I’m not sure what that means. I went to a charter school conference one time. Here I am. I’m the program coordinator of my program. I co-founded it. I’m running it. 

And this guy says to me that I’m meeting and chit-chatting with networking, as you say, says, what are you passionate about? Crickets. I had no idea. No idea. I had just come out of this marriage and divorced and still doing the single mom thing and doing the job thing. I had no answer. And I know I’m not alone. I know there are a lot of people out there that have no idea what they’re meant to be doing next because the thing they were doing is gone.

I might add, what do you like, what do you do for fun is a really good question too because somebody, I’m like, I work, I mean, I ride, you know. I talk to people, that’s what I do for fun. And that’s a big question for me, even currently. I’m like, you know, I love this. Brenda has the passion and when she had nothing, she decided, what do I want to do? And it was dance. And she’s been dancing through for years now.

Yeah, and she’s really good. But she dedicated to something that lit her up, right? And a lot of times when we’re dealing with situations that we’re overcoming, we don’t have the margin to figure out what lights us up. right? Until we get to a place where we’re safe enough or removed enough from the ick to be able to go, okay,

Now what do I want to do? And that’s really what she describes is like she got to, she’s sitting in a house that she had rented and there was not much in it. She could actually take the time to think. And so that’s one of the things that I’ll encourage my clients to do is get somewhere, go somewhere, sit at a library for a little bit and just give yourself that time to think, to breathe, to be. to just get to that next, okay, what would I do? If time was no, if… Turn off some of the distractions for a few minutes. Exactly.

And because there’s noise 100% of the time if you allow it. So yeah, just be still and know.

There’s a wise… You were saying that when we were chatting, right? And so if money is no object, if you have all the time you need, what would you do?

That’s a really hard question for a lot of people, including me.

Right? And so then you have to go, well, what would you do if you wouldn’t even get paid for it? One of my other things I do is digital graphic designs. I would do that for free. I don’t do it for free. Thankfully, it’s become a business. But I love creating. I love creating. I love doing crafts. I sew. I garden, as we were talking about earlier.

I have my whole vegetable garden. I gotta say, when I was in my 30s and my mother was gardening, I’m like, oh lordy. That’s for old ladies. I love it. I’m just like, I’m so sorry, mom. But whatever it is, whatever turns people on, right? Some people love, they will bike ride. Some people love going to, we have a community of elderly people. They love to go and help them with whatever they need. Oh, you need errands done? I’ll go do that. Everyone has something they would do even if they didn’t get a dime for it.

That and that’s what your passion and this is another thing from this tiny candy bar hugs doesn’t take much make a difference is what if you don’t have to search for your passion what if a passion is. And this is in the introduction of this book, I was like, what if your passion or purpose, we’re talking passion, purpose is what came to mind. 

But your purpose is how you treat people right in front of you, it’s who you are, it’s your character as you move through the world. that people are, you either attract or repel people, you know, and a lot of it is that vibration you were talking about earlier. Yeah, the complaining is a very low vibration.

I mean, if people are living in a cloud, you can feel them coming. I’m just going to say, because they suck the life right out of you. know and you were talking about books that you did well that’s one of the things i did this whole mindful moments mindset coloring book because it’s got a left page that’s got a little motivational thing in a coloring page oh i love that so 

Click to Buy Now

So it actually gives people, you know, so this one’s about failures or are not end points but rather stepping stones. How funny that it opened to this one. Each experience that you view as a failure provides you with a valuable learning opportunity, right? And it goes on to talk about that. So each page of here just talks about something regarding mindset that people may not be aware of, right? We’re not aware that we don’t, that we view it as a failure and not a growth lesson.

So, just hold your book up again and speak the words so people can find this beautiful coloring book. This is called Mindful Moments

Yes, it’s on Amazon.

And it’s an adult mindset reset coloring book. Mindful moments. Okay, so that’s awesome. The link will be in the stuff.

Yeah. And I mean, there aren’t a whole lot out there that do that. They don’t have one page that’s kind of like some really great words to help you and then color because I mean coloring the process of coloring does something different to the brain right it neutralizes some things it puts you over in the creative side gets you out of the thinking side so that you can actually just absorb.

That’s beautiful and It was a fun thing to create. Was that yours? I mean, I know you’re graphically, you can do anything. You just got to master it. Thank you. I’ve been gifted, thank you. Brenda used you all the time.

Yeah, she does. But the words, yeah, the words are mine. It just came to me once I started collecting all of the expect miracles, find the courage to let go of what you cannot change. Once I started gathering some of the sayings and then putting them in a graphic, I’m like, you know, there needs to be a little bit more than this.

So it’s got the hook. I mean, it’s a great gift. I would think it would be awesome to just have those and offer to you know, your teacher gifts or… 

I do, yeah. All of those things. Yeah, friends that are having some occasion that don’t have one yet. Yeah, that would be really very cool. Yeah, but it’s the same as you, like it just stops the brain from going down the same ruts over and over again, right? So we’ve all seen a car that’s stuck in the mud and the wheels just spin. 

I mean, that’s very similar to when we go down those pathways that are well worn in. We don’t go anywhere, but if we go, oh, you know what? I’ve done this when I’ve driven and I’ve seen mud, I’ll go like on the outside of those if I can. And then I know like, okay, hopefully I won’t get stuck at least this time and get through to the other side, right? And the same with our thoughts, go a different path. The road less traveled, right? Choose something else.

Action and yeah when everybody zigzag i mean that’s another yeah yeah so i think brenda says if everybody’s going this way let’s go that way in fact i have a i don’t know if you know who suzy toronto is but she’s got this i do and that’s my my calendar every year i i just love it this month it says when everybody zigzag so you know You’re like right there. 

We want to take this, just consider when we say every word matters and every thought matters, which was where we started. Yes. When you And I want to say in the vibrational, this is where I’m trying to get back to, the vibration of words, the vibration of energy, the vibration. You know when you’re, people come to my house, the service people, they don’t want to leave. You know, we have long conversations. 

They’re kind of staying in my space because they like my energy, right? They love my energy. And I’m 71 years old. It’s not arrogance to even say that. It’s authority, that Jesus gave us the authority to say what

you know we can do what he did and even more and that we can just just love and accept people you don’t have to yeah you know you don’t have to live with them no 

The second avatar movie, yeah i don’t know if you’re an avatar movie fan but on the second avatar movie there’s a phrase that he uses with his son that he just gets so frustrated with and he just can’t deal with and he’s yeah and he he finally then goes i see you and that’s all people want. I see you, right? We’re all hungry to be seen. Unless you’re in a situation that’s traumatic, right? And then you’re hiding. 

So, time to stop hiding. Time to get safe. Get to a place where people can see you. Because we’re all here for a reason. I say this thing, if you’re still living, if you’re still breathing, if you’re watching this and hearing this, there’s a purpose for your life still. Otherwise, you’d be gone.

And the way, yeah, we’ve all been provided for, every last one of us have been provided for if we can take a breath. We may not like where we are, but if we have been provided for, I say, I ain’t skinny, I’ve been provided for. And, you know, you might be in a gutter and you may or may not think that it’s your fault, but you have a choice to take the next breath or next step or whatever and speak a new word. 

So yeah, we’ve been provided for. And I say the same thing. If you can take a breath and you have a purpose, you have an opportunity to change your life right this second by making a different choice. Most of us may not be right this second, but really, you’ve got the opportunity to live the life you’re designed to live. And don’t wait until you feel ready or perfect to start showing up as who you are. 

Who are you created to be? You’re not here to be a copy of someone else. You’re the one of a kind with a purpose Only you can fulfill and if you’re ready to finally stop second-guessing yourself and start living from a place of faith freedom and fire come connect with Lynda Malka, that was her call to action. That’s your call to action. 

Yeah, and and so lyndamalka.com And created2bloom.com, we didn’t mention that one, but that’s createdtobloom.com for your the creative side, the graphic side of things, right?

Yeah, and the business mentoring, yes, because we have these co-working days where you can come in and join us and do your thing. A lot of people like to be involved, bootstrap, we do that, we walk with you.

So that’s so cool. So the co-working, you’re talking about everybody’s on Zoom and just doing their a designated time that they are going to work on a designated thing and everybody, and then you come kind of together if you have a question or if you want to, so it’s an accountability group, it sounds like.

It’s like a think tank, right? If somebody comes and they go, hey, I’m trying to figure out how to do this, but I’m not really sure how to do that. People go, well, why don’t you try this? What do you think about that? And what a great idea. Or I’m trying to hook this thing up to the Canva form into my website. I’m really not sure how to do that. Well, click that button. 

Do that. right so there i mean we just kind of walk them through all kinds of things and and in our vault so that’s part of our vault membership so in our vault we also have journal forms journal templates and calendar templates and all kinds of things in there that you can actually brand your brand on them and use them as your opt-ins and things like that. Because those are the areas where entrepreneurs get stuck, right? 

If you’re trying to do a business, I had a gal that I used to work with in network marketing and she said, if you can be stuck, you will be. If you can be stopped, you will be. And I was like, what does that mean? Well, I get what it means. It means that you’ll eventually come to a place where you’re like, I don’t know how to do that. You know, you find yourself, I did a video on this, cleaning the toilet with a toothbrush, not because you want to or love it, but because it’s like not doing that thing.

I saw that video and it cracked me up. So she’s cleaning the toilet with a toothbrush and she said, when I feel stuck, I’d rather clean the toilet with a toothbrush than to break through that thing. Exactly. And a lot of people do it. Busy work. Our avoidance things that we do. I just took him to the extreme. That was fun, it was a cute video. Another thing, I like, maybe a fun fact, and this to me, your dog, 

it’s not about you, it’s about your dog, has the most piercing blue, light blue eyes. She does! And that, there was a, you were in the car or something, but that one eye, I’m like whoa!

What is that? Yeah, she’s an Aussie Doodle, so it’s the Australian Shepherd in her. Her mama had the blue eyes and threw the blue eyes into her, as the breeder said. But yeah, they’re amazing. My younger daughter put up a picture of Star Wars, what is it, Lord Palpatine and Sheba and said who wore it best.

That’s awesome. Well, this has been so much fun. I just, I love, this is my highlight of my week, this hour that I get to just have conversation, right? So it’s just fun for me. Yeah, I can get that. And I get to find out so many cool things and interesting things. And I feel like we, you know, we collaborate together. 

We both do similar things in some way. So Lynda Malka and Lynda with a Y, Malka. Lynda, with a Y. Created 2bloom, with a 2, number 2bloom.com. We just, any last words? Anything you would just really like to leave with our listeners today?

You know, we’re all here to bless this world in some way. We are all here. And so we can spend a lot of time in wishing what had been, or we can spend a lot of time creating what will be. And it is through networking and partnering with women like you, like me, that that happens. We have this find the women, find your tribe. 

They’re out there just waiting to give you a hand up. They’re out there waiting to help you. We’re here. I’m here. You’re here. Reach out. I’d love to hear from women that are just, that have been where I’ve been, that are, you know, how did you do it? Connect with me. I’m here. So, and you’re here, Sharla, so thank you so much for sharing time with us.

And you’re a light, and you’re, you know, we don’t have, we don’t carry judgment, you know, we’ve all got stuff. Oh boy, yes. We all got stuff. So, yes. You know, we don’t carry judgment. The goal is to not pack it with you everywhere you go. Let go of some of those, those heavy, heavy bags that we lug around everywhere, you know. Yes. Won’t it be fun when you’re, free and light and laughing.

It is when the load is lighter, you know, it totally is. There’s so much else that we are meant to do and we get cleared to do it, right?

We actually are, you know, and I have the, I wish I would had it over here. It’s a little quote that I found years ago. It’s like, some people will only hear You know, the way you tell it, they will only hear help or heart. your story, the way you tell it, you know. Amen, amen to that. 

That’s not the quote, but it is. No, but it’s so true. That’s one of the lies people tell themselves. We all say the same thing. And somebody’s going to hear mine better than you, you know, more attractive. They do. And it’s the truth. Yeah, exactly.

So that’s, I mean, when you hear it like the world is waiting for you to tell your story, it’s true. Because you’re the only one that can tell it in a way that will reach the people you’re meant to reach.

And there’s 8 billion people over 8 billion people now in this world and you know there’s enough for all of us there’s no competition and there is zero competition it’s all if we don’t collaborate and raise each other up if we’re all doing the most many of us do this similar thing right? Yeah. 

You’re going to be better for somebody and then I am for sure you know and whatever so find somebody that helps with that and I agree we’ve got we’ve got we’ve got some resources we’ve got some solutions and we got some big ears because you said people want to be seen but they also want to be heard and that was my thing I just want to be heard I want to be heard for what I’m saying and what I’m not able to articulate right so there’s some ways, that’s what coaches tend to do, right? 

So, I’m so grateful for you every single week. We’ve got new podcasts coming out and I am so incredibly grateful to have you join me today and another shout out to Brenda Byers of Prosper and All Things Coaching. Connecting us.

Truly. Thank you.

Will you be blessed and we’ll see you next week. Okay.

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For more insights and to follow Charla’s creative journey, check out her website and her other projects:

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About  Lynda Malka

Lynda is no stranger to starting over. A former teacher and charter school administrator turned intuitive mindset coach and business mentor, she’s walked through childhood trauma, a 13-year abusive marriage, and deep seasons of loss — and still chose to rise. Her mission now? To help Christian women remember who they are, reclaim their worth, and launch the God-dream they thought was too late. She’s passionate about helping women build, believe, and breakthrough — because healing isn’t just possible, it’s powerful. Whether she’s coaching one-on-one or speaking to a crowd, Lynda’s message is clear: you’re not too late, too broken, or too behind to become who you were always meant to be

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