Turning Life’s Mess into Meaning, Art, and Impact

Turning Life’s Mess into Meaning, Art, and Impact

About Diane Cunningham Ellis

Meet Diane Cunningham Ellis, M.Ed.: creativity coach, author, plane crash survivor, and founder of NACWE. Diane shares brave living, authentic business, recovery, art, faith, and how embracing your glorious mess can lead to purpose, joy, and impact.

Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Introduction

Good beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (& EVERYONE is Fascinating!), especially you.

EXHUBERANT is the word I choose for my guest today!  Diane Cunningham Ellis, Coach, Consultant, Catalyst, was far from exuberant much of her life! 

Client suicide, lawsuit, and malpractice as a therapist.

Addiction and recovery from alcoholism (12 years sober now).

Divorce. Selling a business. Surviving a plane crash!

Pivoting again and again to become this DYNAMO! Listen in and let’s see what she’s up to now

…BUT FIRST…

Let’s take our little 22 second mini vacation. We’re going to breathe in some calm for seven seconds, hold for four seconds and breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. So here we go. Breathe in. I am calm. hold relax release thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you getting a little grounded and settled multiple times a day is a really smart thing to do so here we go so Diane i’m so happy that you were able to say yes we were um You know, I had all of a sudden this opening. It’s usually booked about 3 or 4 months out. So I was like, you said yes. Yay. 

Because I’ve been admiring you for quite some time since we met through Terri Lee Harrison. And you started, I know you know, originated NACWE – the national association of christian women entrepreneurs, mouthful, a few years ago, and then, I think, sold it right, so still involved, and I want to know all about you. I just watched you on Facebook, and you’re exuberant. You know, you’re just out there, and you’ve always got beautiful, fun eyeglasses and different colors. I kind of like that, you know. Yeah. So let’s meet. Who are you in this world? Tell me about this. Okay. Who you are, where you’ve been, and what you’re up to now.

Okay. I love it. Well, and I love fascinating people. And of course, you and I are both so fascinating that we could just talk for days and hours. And so, yes, thank you for having me on your show. I did. I founded the National Association for Christian Women Entrepreneurs a long time ago, actually 15 and almost 16 years ago now, Sharla. It was in 2010 because, and this is interesting, I had been through the suicide and lawsuit of a client as a therapist and really lost my career, my chosen career as a therapist. Restarted, ground zero in the coaching world, tiptoeing around thinking, okay, I don’t, because I had some limitations on me based on malpractice, you know, when you get labeled with malpractice, you have a lot of fear. You have a lot of fear. 

But I knew that God had called me to serve, to lead, to gather, to, you know, bring the women together. So eventually I got this crazy idea that I wanted to create a, I don’t think I had the word, association, but to create something where we could. And I did. I did it. And I look back on my younger self and I just want to give her the biggest hug and the high five and, you know, rock star. I love you. Because I had no guarantee. Of course, none of us has any guarantee. Is this thing going to work? You know, am I going to actually keep going? Am I going to do this? So I did. I launched that. And it was amazing. And it is amazing. And it’s still going. And like you and I see each other there. But I sold it. Like you mentioned, I sold it after running it for seven years because I think sometimes what I know to be true about myself and other women, we hold on to things. We hold on to people and things and everything. There’s a saying in the 12-step rooms, everything I ever let go of had claw marks on it. And it’s like, okay. But it was right for me to let it go, to sell the company. And I found a wonderful purchaser. And then now it’s on its third owner. 

And our colleague, Tara Lee, is one of the directors. And, yeah, it’s one of the pieces of my story. that I’m really proud of. You know, we all have, we have so many parts to ourselves, right? These books, you know, I can see your books behind you. You know about my books. And we have these kind of glamour shot things that happen in our life. And only a certain age group are even going to understand what that reference means. But we have these glamour shot things, but there’s a whole lot of shit that’s going on underneath, right? the ups and the downs and the turmoil and the, the, just the letting go. When is it time to let go of something so that we can go to the next mountaintop?

And so much uncertainty, you know, we don’t know what, you know, we don’t know what’s next. And, so you’re, you’re a brave girl, girl. I am a brave girl. Thank you. I own that. I own that. I received that. Yes. No, but that’s the truth. You’re courageous out there. And I call myself bold, faith, no fear, outrageously courageous and outrageously optimistic and all those things. And I see that in you probably more than I even see it in me.

So it’s kind of… I mean, on Facebook primarily, I think you’re just so out there. And you’ve got a great free, let’s go ahead and get that out there, a free Facebook group called Brave Women Nation,

right? That’s one of the names it’s had. It has evolved. It’s now called the Brave Rebellion. The Brave Rebellion Movement. The Brave Rebellion Movement. Whoa. Yeah. Last year, I had a coach who was just like, “You seem to really like to rebel. And, you know, I was like, yeah, I actually do. So we changed the name of the Facebook group. So Brave Rebellion for Christian Women. And yeah, so anybody that’s listening, come on and hang out. If you want to rebel, and here’s what we’re rebelling against. I feel like I’m here to help women rebel against those old stories, the fear, the expectations that were passed down. 

I want to liberate women from fear. I want to liberate myself, mainly I have to start with myself because I can get, you know, scared to post, right? I was like, what the heck? Scared to post something that feels a little bit off. Maybe it’s not as exuberant as I normally am. And it’s like, okay, well, exuberance, like you said, I mean, takes one to know one, first of all. But it is, it’s all the feelings. You’re going to be happy. You’re going to be sad. You’re going to be grieving. It’s this, it’s like, I want to be my full true self on the internet. And the right people will flock to the people like us that are willing to do that.

So, authenticity, which I said this a couple of years ago on my show with this one gentleman who was crazy out there. And he always said, authenticity is the new sexy. And he’s going, I’m calling my wife and telling her, you know. So, authenticity is, and real, being real, is the most attractive thing. I believe, to attract people to you. And if somebody is… I believe that we’ve got a spirit of offense out in our world. And if you want to be offended… Go for it. Nobody cares. So, did I say that? But, you know, give up the spirit of offense. Be open. Be curious. 

And I think the reason you are so, I’m so attracted to your persona on Facebook is And it’s because of that, you’re just, you’re just real and you’re going, by the way, you know, I know you just said you, you got a grandbaby in the house and she, you know, you’re covering your spit up with it. Over here. So if we’re not real, I mean, what’s the point? I totally agree. It’s too much trouble to be fake. It’s too much trouble to hide and to be, you know, not real, not true to yourself, not integrity of who you are, not following your own values.

Yeah, and we can get so… I’m going to use the word addicted to following that person’s system, that formula, this, you know, you and I are reading books, like, you know, we read a lot of books. We’ve already talked about one. We write books, we read books, but I can, you know, sometimes we can get swept away. in thinking, oh, that other person has, I need permission or I want approval or I want to do it that way. That person seems to be achieving some grand thing I want to achieve. But every time I’ve tried to do it that way, it just hasn’t worked. 

And then I feel even worse. And then I start questioning all of my weird nuances, which is actually the magic. The most magical thing about us is our weird stuff, our quirkiness, our, I remember the last time I saw you in person, and I was being so crazy at that Knackley group. pretending to pole dance on the pole in the middle of the room. And I’m like, you know, well, that’s just who I am.

Well, you know, that’s the one I had all the turquoise teal cowboy boots and all the Christmas. Wasn’t that where we were?

Yes, yes. That

was fun. But, yeah, so I was a little quirky. I mean, who wants to be normal? You know, I remember in high school, I got people go, you’re so weird. And I’d be going, what? Well, thank you. So I guess there’s something about that.

Yeah, I feel like I’ve had a lot of anger in the last week or two. And it’s been interesting because it’s like an anger slash grief of how many times I’ve been calling it abandoned myself. in order to try to be smaller or different or, and it’s like nobody’s fault. It’s no one’s fault other than my own of letting, you know, making my own version of exuberance somehow chastising my own vibe internally. And a lot of this is not like, I’m not saying these things out loud, but it’s that churning inside you where you’re like, did I just say too much? Am I, am I okay? And it is okay. It’s second guessing.

So yeah. I’m sure it has a purpose.

And no matter what age, I mean, I think age is so interesting because, uh, I, I’m younger than you and I have mentors that are younger than me. I’m paying these girls. I want to hang out with all ages because I want the wisdom. I want the wisdom from the young ones for sure because they see the world differently. And I can learn so much. I learned so much from my clients. I learned so much from this pod. I’m going to learn so much just from this podcast, right? Because if we come with a learning spirit, right? Then we’re always going to learn. We’re always going to be like, like you said, curious. I wonder, I wonder what’s going to happen today with Charla and I, because we don’t exactly know. How fun is that?

Nothing is, you know, normal. I tell my kids, I was like, you know, there’s a really wide range of normal, please stay in it. And they didn’t, but you know, it’s like, you know, what is normal these days? So we’re, you and me, we’re called to be the light in the dark place.

I mean, the world has got a lot of darkness and confusion. And we’re called to be the light. And that’s my goal when I leave. It’s like if I walk out the house, it’s like… Just let me bless people who, you know, whether we speak or don’t speak, but they feel the love. They feel the acceptance. And I think that’s what I see in you. And I know you’re doing some workshops. You’re a coach now. And who are you coaching? What are you looking for out here? What’s your target audience, you know?

i just hate all those marketing words i’m like um i’m looking for women that i’ll just go off the cuff i want to work with women that inspire me i want to work with women that have a big dream a a huge vision that they they can feel on their insides i don’t i do not and will no longer work with women that i have to drag across the finish line because nobody needs that. And I don’t need, nobody that works with me needs to, they don’t need accountability. They’re already kicking ass. So I work with, on my website, it says ass kicking Christian women who most likely are in their 50s, 60s and beyond. Most of my clients are, uh, in those age ranges. Some of my best clients are in their 70s, actually, and I love them. I have a mastermind that I love. I’ve been running one continuously. Yes, continuously for 11

years. So your book, and because people listen more than watch, The Mastermind Effect we’re showing is your best-selling, your number one best-selling book over the years, I believe, The Mastermind Effect. And you’ve had an active mastermind for 11 years? Seriously? In 10 years. Is that weekly, monthly,

or? We have done it every which way, my dear. Okay. So my first, and thank you for reminding me that not everybody can see us holding up the book. So the book is, yeah, Mastermind Effect. It’s on Kindle. It’s on Amazon. Subtitle, Amplify Your Success Together. And I wrote it in 2023 because all of a sudden I was like, gosh, I guess you have a lot of experience. You’ve been doing this for a lot of years. It

wouldn’t be 2023 then, right? That’s only two years. Well, I wrote the book after I’d been running the mastermind. Oh, okay. Wait a minute. I thought you wrote it before you started your mastermind.

My first mastermind I launched in 2015. And so, yes, it has been, I’ve had two women in there. The first year there was two. And I just care, you know, as I didn’t know if anybody would join and two women joined, they actually changed my life. I changed their life too. And I’ve had 16 women in there at one point. It’s smaller now. I’m fine with small. I love small. It’s intimate. But I wrote the book because I really wanted to show other women and men, actually a lot of my men friends have read this, how they can look for the right mastermind. Or I actually coach people that create their own. I coach people to create their own because it’s changed my life and helped me make a million dollars in the last 10 years. And not just from that, but from a combination because it’s just one of the pieces. But I just love, as you can hear, I created a national association, sold that because I wanted to move more into this kind of higher level, higher circle of intimate transformation.

More so, a smaller circle does get intimate, you don’t, you have a lot more um connection, I would guess you know, a really close connection, you get to know each other.

yeah one of the women that’s been in the mastermind she’s been in for nine years out of and I’m like you know, do you still want to stay in and she does.

become her community it’s probably become the the I would call it a point in your week or that moment that you lock in. This is my moment of my week. This hour that I have here is my main moment of my week that everything else kind of centers around, right? Yeah.

What I love and what I’ve done since the very beginning, you know, sometimes you think, wow, you are really a wild thing. From the very beginning, I’ve hosted these added retreats and events into it. And I thought that that was just normal. You know, there’s other masterminds, they don’t ever get together in person. But yeah, so we actually have lots of in-person events. Some are here in Dallas. We’ve gone on trips to Colorado. We’ve gone to North Carolina. And then I, because I love gathering the women. So you’ve probably seen me talk recently about my heart art retreat program. Yeah, that looks so fun. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I I’ve layered that. So sometimes it’s like, there’s women that want to come to that that aren’t in my mastermind. 

So I open up the door, you know, other people can grab tickets to these things, too. And, and what this goes back to is what you mentioned before, when I tap into all of my the best coach I’ve ever had. I’ve had a lot of coaches as we all, but she just, she gave me this full permission. She’s like, yes, add in, you know, art to your business. So I have all this art. And she, I said, I think I want to do this hard art retreat. She’s like, yeah, that sounds great. Let’s go, you know, let’s create that. And that’s just this full permission to bring my recovery from addiction to my business, bring my creative vision and, bring painting, bring the, and it just felt like freedom, felt like freedom.

That’s beautiful. And I want you to, so I was just thinking I wanted to come back to, you know, my show a lot of is about overcoming and hope. I mean, that’s where it began. You know, let’s just tell the stories of people who, and who hasn’t, but some people are a little more compelling, you know, the deep, deeper stories than others, but we all have them. And, and so, I mean, some of the things you were, you, you sounded like you sounded, I think you said you started NACWI while you were still in an addiction or in.

Oh yeah.

And so some, how did you, how did you, functions, I guess, in a way to the point where you you were able to create something so profound. And and and how did you I mean, there some of that story, you know, how did you find yourself in all of that after you had gotten your career stripped from you? Right. From because of a you were a therapist. Right. Yes, I was a therapist. Like a counselor, like a, you know. I’m going to say this just because I can. That’s my show. But I say that I feel like therapists and coaches deal with the opposite ends of the system. I mean, a therapist is looking backward what happened, what went wrong. And a coach is… what’s possible. I mean, does

that make

sense to you? Because you’ve been both now. It doesn’t mean that therapy isn’t effective and necessary at points, but at some point, you know, you sit in the psychiatrist’s couch for 20 years still telling about the childhood trauma instead of what’s possible. So I just said a whole bunch of stuff and you pick and choose what you want to talk about. Yeah.

Sure. Yes, I agree with you. So let me tell a little bit more of the overcoming from the therapist story. So yes, I was a therapist in an office, master’s degree, sitting there. It was an EAP program. And then I had a… What is EAP? Oh, it stands for Employee Assistance Program. Okay. And then I had launched my private practice. I had, I guess, this entrepreneur gig inside me, even at 27, 28. And then this one of the clients chose to suicide and which was horrible, horrible. I mean, I’m 28 years old. I’m new in my profession. And therapists say, you know, it’s bound to happen to you in your career, but not, you know, that young. And then his wife, a year later, filed a lawsuit and blamed me for his death. And I can laugh about it now. It’s not funny. None of it’s funny. It was very traumatic.

It was obviously very traumatic to his wife, his children. But it was also very traumatic to me as the person blamed. And so I walked through a three-year legal battle, fighting for my license, fighting for my career that I had just worked so hard to receive. And by the end of that, Charla, I was labeled with malpractice. And it was very hard. And I can feel it even now just talking about it.

I can’t fathom the depth of heartbreak and disbelief, I’m guessing, too, because you, I’m going to guess, you really didn’t do anything wrong. I’m going to guess that… They couldn’t accept that there wasn’t some other reason. They couldn’t accept the responsibility that he took, which is the, you know, in some ways the most selfish act there is, right? Because you leave people unhealed. I mean, just hanging. And so that was a, I mean, I don’t know that that might have been the wrong term to use. But, you know, really, it’s a really horrific situation. And to blame someone else, it’s not, I mean, in a way like that, it makes no sense to me. I mean, let go. To ruin somebody else’s life, you know, 

I don’t know. I’m always looking for the win-win. So it’s really hard for me to understand the desperation that she took, right? Yeah, yeah. To go that far. Anyway, it didn’t bring her husband back.

No, no. It didn’t. And I’ve worked many years with much therapy and coaching slash therapy slash groups slash healing slash circling up. This has been a deep topic that I’ve, for many years, I felt like I wasn’t allowed to make money because I had to pay the price of this man’s death. And so, just this deep, like, I’m repenting. I’m serving. I’m giving. I’m leading. And, you know, if I get anything, great. But this is my curse, almost. Yeah. I

would call it a limiting belief that we make up something happens. We make up a story about it. We plant the story back here in the back of our subconscious and don’t know that we did that. We made up a story. We made an F in seventh grade. We plant it back here and continue to prove. See, I told you I was stupid. When it was just an F, it was a bad decision. You didn’t study. Whatever it was, you made up a story. And that is a very tiny, small, simple example of the things that we plant. that run our lives. 

Yes, yes. So you, somehow or another, we’re going to find out how did you break through, break out of that limiting belief that you’re not allowed to make money or that you’ve got to pay for somebody else’s choices. Yes. Because you have done that. You have made the money now. You have become what would appear, I think, in most people’s eyes, and I think probably in your own eyes, successful, relatively successful. It’s not multi, you’re not Elon Musk, but nobody else is either. So.

Yeah. So it’s all a series of events, right? So because of losing that career and journey, that actually led me to coaching, led me to coaching, which gave me back, My purpose, how I started was as a life purpose coach, because it was like, well, I was looking for mine again. We always coach what we’re let’s do it together. And those women began to hire me for marketing training. And I was like, what do you mean marketing training? I don’t have any skills in that. They’re like, yes, you do. And I’ll hear let me help. Let me buy some training from you. And that then, of course, led my courage to create the National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs. So all those things were happening over a series of six years. And I was still as you brought up, I was drinking alcohol. I was drinking every night to cope. With the trauma, the confusion, the unknowns, the, you know, just the fears. I didn’t drink all day long, you know, wasn’t an all day long drinker. But, you know, when five o’clock hit, you know, there was a margarita getting served somewhere or an appletini for damn sure. Or wine, you know, it didn’t matter. And so when I created the National Association, I was still drinking in the evenings. I was in my first marriage. And that marriage ended about a year after I created NACWE. That’s an acronym we call it. And my drinking got worse. Right. So with alcoholism for women, a lot of it can go real fast when it hits towards the end. And I didn’t have a husband. I had no children. I never was able to have children, which was a grief. You know, so I had the grief. Like, if we look at the grief, the lawsuit grief, the marriage grief, the lack of children grief. And so my drinking was like, well, who’s going to see it? Nobody. And so it got worse over those last couple of years. And then, you know, rock bottom. I have a book called Rock Bottom is a Beautiful Place because I believe that it was a beautiful place. And I wrote that in my journal and I thought, well, I ended up with, I have three books in a book series called Rock Bottom is a Beautiful Place because I invited these other women to come tell their story with me. So I got sober. Let me fast forward. Okay. My drinking got worse. I was drinking every night and I hit rock bottom in June 18th of 2013. So my sobriety date happens to be Juneteenth, which of course I didn’t even, you know, if you don’t live in Texas, I didn’t know what that even was. So I got sober on the day of freedom, Juneteenth. And so I’ve got 12 years of continuous sobriety, which is really a big deal. It’s a big deal.

And so how did I do it? Well, I built my business just the same way as I write books or as I got sober. I show up with exuberance every single day, one day at a time, and try to be the bravest girl I can be. and not numb and not hide and not try to be someone other than i’m than i really am and just hopefully i’ll do that again today and then again tomorrow

so it is one certainly one day at a time so uh whoa um when you say rock bottom is beautiful now that that’s kind of a shocking phrase because at the time you probably didn’t feel like it was beautiful. I’m guessing it didn’t feel beautiful at the time. It didn’t, but there, when you’re at rock bottom, there’s only one place to go. Right. Yes.

Yeah. And that’s why I titled the book that let me, it, let me just grab these just for the sake of those that are watching and because it turned into… Like collaboration, ultimately? Whoopsie! All the books go tumbling down. Yeah, so it became a collaboration book series, Rock Bottom is a Beautiful Place, Testimonies of Triumph. And I just felt like it was… I felt like God was saying to me, after I got sober, not the first day… But within a certain timeframe, pretty quickly, I felt like if I could help one woman, that’s what I’m supposed to do with this story of letting go. And so I put it out on YouTube. I told the NACWI members. I sent an email. You know, it’s like, you know, again, about authenticity, vulnerability. It’s like, well, some of these people are going to dump me because I got a divorce. Some of these clients are going to dump me because I got sober. I’m going to AA. But the opposite became true, Sharla. All of these women were like, I don’t care. I want you. And so, yeah, rock bottom that day was not great. It was horrifying. It was disgusting. I had a liter of tequila. Just me. A liter of tequila. It was not pretty. It was horrifying. But thankfully, in AA, there’s a phrase we call it incomprehensible. Let me say it right. Incomprehensible demoralization. And that says it real clearly. That’s what I felt that day. Like, disgusted with myself. Like, I’m running this Christian company. I look like this, that, and the other on Facebook. And I, like, am hungover and horrified and completely with my tail between my legs. Humiliated.

But that’s, that is a… this where you landed but it’s also where you started so that seems to me this you were you weren’t real to yourself if you’re hiding that you’re you know right but I love that the the Christian women that were around you chose to embrace rather than to judge because if they’re judging you know, there’s a mirror somewhere,

you know, so, right. Yeah. And it, it just became, you know, so much a part of my story. I share it very publicly. It’s all, you know, got books about it. I’ve got YouTubes about it. And I mean, I very publicly talk about it because I don’t want to live in shame and I don’t want any, you know, I want to be the beacon of hope, the light, like we’ve talked about for another woman that, looks great on the outside but she’s struggling and there’s so many different forms of addiction some of them you can see some of my other my main addiction actually has been food and using food and eating disorders uh that came long before the alcohol addiction now i went to a 30-day rehab for food i went to a psych unit let’s tell the truth uh when i was 18 i had an eating disorder that year And I stopped eating. I mean, I used to, I’ve weighed a lot more and I’ve weighed a lot less. And I chose on my 18th birthday, I asked my parents if I could go into the hospital. And I did. I stayed 30 days for my eating disorder.

Did they know you were having one?

They began to, I mean, I lost my period. So I was, you know, it’s not healthy when a 17-year-old girl stops having her period for six months because she’s starving herself. And so, yeah, but I was, of course, living and trying to keep all that a secret from my parents. But they wholeheartedly said, of course, you know, I mean… we want to help we want to help our daughter so i mean addiction is so you have

the is you call it an addict i mean addictive personality so to speak, you know

so

That’s me, okay, so I’ve said this before. I know someone who gave up alcohol and shifted that addiction to the meetings over 30-something years, and has never missed a day without going to a meeting.

I feel like it’s a healthier addiction. You have fewer hangovers that way. But it’s just shifting. An addictive personality probably… does have something and there’s levels, you know, rock bottom of alcohol or our drugs is probably one of the hardest and worst and most normal visible that you can see. But I’m just wondering, I mean, that was a, I mean, can you imagine going to a meeting every single day for 30, not missing one? And I don’t know if he actually missed one. Like his mom’s birthday. There was some event and he was going to maybe have to miss one and whatever. Anyway, I’m just curious.

I mean, I

don’t need to know any of that. It’s just…

Yeah, here’s my thoughts. You know, at the beginning… I mean, I was at meetings every day just holding on for dear life. And the miracle is that there’s so many 12-step programs, AA, NA, and OA. I’ve gone to Debtors Anonymous that helped me get out of debt. There’s Workaholics Anonymous. Whatever situation you have, there’s a 12-step program for it. Thank God, because you don’t have to get your insurance to cover. You can find a Zoom meeting for anything now and not back in the old days. But I went to meetings every day for a couple of years. I don’t get to as many. I was just talking to one of my colleagues from AA, the program, yesterday, and I said, Because the girl that does my hair, she’s an alcoholic. I was with a couple other of my alcoholic friends. You know, they’re sober, my AA friends. I mean, they were so much a part of my life that if I lived closer to what we call our home group, I would be there every day. And here’s why. Because it’s like a little, it’s like, You feel so much better after. It’s like a breathing. It’s like a little meditation almost for an hour where you’re like, you know, you come in, you’re kind of rattled, you’re a little shaken. It’s not that I feel like drinking. I don’t feel like drinking. It just is such a grounding. Life is okay. We’re all good. And oftentimes it’s like, I don’t want to go over there. You know, I don’t want to drive down the road. But often I’ve learned those are the times I actually need to go the most. Why? Because I might need to be there for the girl that just walked in today for hope and to give back and to be like self, you know, it’s like I don’t need to be self-centered. It’s all about me and my business. And so, you know, the more meetings I can get to for me, have I gone every day like that guy? No. Um, but you can kind of feel it like creeping up on you. Like, oh my gosh, I need to get my ass over there because you got a little cranky.

Maybe it’s a, you know, it’s just the, the calling. Yeah. There’s two things. Um, and I, I think I’ve, I believe that the, the two most important words in the, in our language. is I am the

two

most important words. That’s God’s name in you. That’s the breath of life

in you. When

you, every word matters that you speak, because you’re saying I am, and you’re, are you cursing yourself? Are you blessing? You know? Um, so, I have run across people that have created some different, I’ve got a beautiful friend that has created a woman in the rooms or something like that, that she’s created

an

online safe place that’s not AA, it’s similar to AA. I mean, it’s similar because it is effective. But years ago, I was like, if you have to say I am an alcoholic, Every time you walk in there, you’re claiming something you don’t want. You’re claiming something you don’t desire to be. And so I… That’s a question, I guess. I’m asking a question. I just feel like there’s… That is… That’s a game changer for me. I don’t want to claim something that I

don’t

desire. So is that something they still require you

to say every time? You can say whatever you feel. Some people say that. It’s just some people say I’m recovering. I am a recovering blank, whatever your situation is. Or some people say I’m recovered. So, you know, nobody’s going to tell you how to, and nobody could tell me, hey, you’re not, I mean, the way AA works and any of these other programs, all we have, you know, when you go in, you get a, it’s called a desire chip. Have you heard of that? So really briefly, when you first go into any 12-step meeting, they’re going to ask you either at the beginning or the end, if you have a desire, to stay sober, or a desire to stop gambling, or a desire to stop feeling this weight of debt. And they hand you, you choose to get a little coin that’s called a desire chip, a desire coin. And so the only requirement for any of these programs is that you have a desire. I have a desire to not feel like this. anymore for one day at a time. And I love that. I love just the simplicity of that. And that nobody said, oh yeah, yay, you qualify. I didn’t have to fill out an intake form. You have to drink this much before you can come, you know. Right. Because, like, I never got a DWI. You know, I was never… Some of my friends, yeah, they have. I mean, I have a lot of women that you would never know who have had horrible, horrible things that they have done. But they look pretty good. And… And so they say in the 12-step rooms, too, you don’t have to go all the way down to the basement. You can get off on floor five, you know, floor six, right? And I know I was a high-functioning alcoholic or, you know, drinker because I was still running my business. But underneath, you know, things were starting to crumble. In my, you know, I was… I was doing things I didn’t want to do anymore. I was embarrassed and I didn’t want to live a

double life. That’s I think there’s that. And, you know, you’re you’re somebody was going to find out. I mean, that’s just something didn’t happen. Right. So that’s

kind

of the fact. So I love the desire chip, because what I learned, I wrote the books, what second transformation, change your words, change your life, 31 daily practices, and we can change things. are in a split second by changing our words. And I wrote in there, speak what you want, not what you don’t want. I will rewrite it someday and say, speak what you desire, not what you don’t desire, because want, it means extreme lack. And so you’re speaking things that you You know, you think you’re speaking things that you desire, but desire means of the Father, desire. And God gives you the desires of your heart,

right? So

in our world, in the Christian world, and by the way, I just, I love that, you know, you’re like, I’m the cussing Christian coach. Right? Yeah, so we didn’t say that in the beginning, but I, you know, you said a couple of them and I’m like, I love it. I don’t, you know, you do, you do you, right? Yeah,

no, that’s a key. I love that it’s called the desire chip too. And I love that you picked up on that because it just feels so like, oh yeah, I have that. I have that desire. And the difference between the wanting and kind of this lack and need and help me and fix me. It’s like, I don’t want that. I want to want it. And I want to be willing to work for it. And I can feel God’s desire when I am in those moments. Um, and, and then other phrase that we, I heard in the rooms of AA, you know, if I’m not willing, I want to pray for the willingness to be willing because we just often resist. We resist what could change our life for so much better. And

a lot of it is habit. I mean, it’s just a habit. It’s just changing a habit. And, uh, if it’s, it’s affecting you as a, I mean, a habit that affects you in a bad way, there’s good habits and bad habits, right? So, you know, you’re going to get… But when it’s… When you’re having that nudge, something

is, I

don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t know how, you know, but it’s the habit, the daily routine, the daily, you know, if you’re a smoker and the daily, I’ve got my coffee or my martini or whatever that you like, you know, those trigger, you know, changing habits is a thing. It’s very, it’s very challenging. So you were able to do it. You’ve emerged and 12 years of sobriety. And do you have… Some people, I guess, have problems going to places where there is alcohol and some people don’t. Doesn’t bother you? You just say no? Just say no? I mean…

There’s been a few times over the years where it’s been uncomfortable or I mean, I’m certainly not going to go to a bar for no reason. That’s not where I need to be hanging around. But most restaurants serve alcohol. So it’s like a

toast at a wedding, a toast at a wedding. You just get water or juice, you know, my

sparkling water, Diet Coke or my coffee. Yeah. So, I mean, you learn ways to just be like, yeah, it’s nobody. There’s other people that aren’t drinking, too. So, yeah. But there’s been a few moments where. I would say I was white-knuckling it. But that’s far and few between now.

that’s great so we spent a lot of time on that particular side of things and you were so much more than that that’s so much but i feel like it’s important for people to hear sometimes

you know

you know so i want you so now what’s possible where are you headed what do you need how can we serve you and how are you serving others and you got like two minutes

Perfect. So people can find me if they want to know more about any of these things at DianeCunningham.com And what was the other question? What do I want? Well,

just in general, what do you want to leave with people? What are you looking for? How can we serve you? How are you serving? What’s next? You know,

all of

those things involved in your next 30 seconds. Yeah.

Well, I want to leave with my favorite quote. And it’s by John Wellesley. And it says, catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come for miles to watch you burn. And it goes along with the exuberance word for today is just like, figure out what lights your fire and go full force into that so people can see you from a distance. And that is attractive. That is magnetic. And I want that for other women and men. And that’s what I would say is truly important.

I want that. I mean, that goes back to the authenticity of just being you, being the best you. And, you know, you look at somebody who is just… My son was like this as a very young, you know, preteen or whatever he was. You know, he was like… People just followed him. He just did what he did and people just wanted to be around him. That’s a leader’s leader, right? And he didn’t care about what the others did or didn’t think. So I feel like that. There’s such a draw to that, like the fire of you’re so exuberant that people start noticing and go, who is that girl? What’s she? Right. And

so

how you manage all that is another conversation, because I’d love to know that, too. Yeah, you’ll have to have me back on the show. I will. We can go hang out. We

can hang

out. We can have coffee. Yeah, I say lunch or liquids, but, you know, liquids or coffee. Yeah. I’ll be your tea. So I’m grateful for your time. I think I really just I think it’s been a couple of months ago. I’ve known you now for about a year or so. Not really well, but seeing you around. Right. And in a month or two ago, I was like. she’s she’s doing something i want to know more about i

want to

be like i want to be like her when i grow up you know whatever have this because you know so um to

be

more i i’ve got i’m really me charla’s really looking to uh expand my um visibility so to speak see and figure out exactly what that looks like I still don’t know. But but but it’s fun and it’s fun to watch you. So I appreciate your time today. Thank you very much, especially since you took it away from your grand. I call them grand blessings.

Oh, yes. I’m going to go back and hang out with her now. But thank you so much for inviting me.

It’s been it’s been good. And I’m really I’m in. I’m in awe and I appreciate you. And I thank you so much for your generosity today. Thank you, Sarla. And DianeCunningham.com  And it’s spelled normal. Spelled normal. Spelled normal. Well, blessings. We’ll be in touch. All right. Bye. And remember to always choose joy.

Important Links

• Website:  www.DianeCunningham.com 
• Facebook-  https://www.facebook.com/DianeCunningham   
• LinkedIn-  https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianecunninghamellis/
• YouTube-  https://www.youtube.com/@DianeCunningham
• Free Facebook Group:  Brave Rebellion: 🔥Christian Women’s Movement🔥
  https://www.facebook.com/groups/bravewomennation
  
• BOOK: ‘The Mastermind Effect’ https://amzn.to/45V1ljg
  

About Charla:

I’d REALLY appreciate it if you will Like and Subscribe to my YouTube Channel. ​ Thank You! 

https://www.youtube.com/@CharlaAndersonShow

​Charla’s Choices (ASK!):

>>TEXITCoin:  

Please let me help you get started building generational wealth! VERY limited time to become a Miner.  AT LEAST buy some TXC on Dextrade, Bitmart, and now others.

Videos:  https://tinyurl.com/3eemhxy5

 >>ZINZINO:  

What is your ‘Critical Health Score?’

‘Test-Based Personalized Nutrition’ ​on the cellular level:

Are YOU in the Safe Zone?

Inflammation = Dis-ease!

100% of people & pets on the planet CAN take it. 

97%-99% te​sted SHOULD take it. 

Are YOU in the Safe Zone?​  

HOT STOCK TIP: ZNZNF on NASDAQ

(2 min) Art​ Jonak’s Omega Hands Demo:

https://vimeo.com/1025220219

(5 min)​ Dr Rik’s Intro video:

(1 min) My Commercial:  

email:  Charla@CharlaAnderson.com.  Reach out. 

NOTE:  Some links may provide a small commission to Charla Anderson if purchased without affecting the purchaser.

Best-Selling Author of​:

  ‘Candy Bar Hugs~It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference‘ ​;

​  ‘Split-Second Transformation~Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices‘ & 

​  ‘The Change​~Insights Into Self Empowerment‘ Book Series #21 with Les Brown  (ASK about the credibility factor of being in a book like this!)

TV​/Podcast HOST:

‘The Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!)’.

Replays of my prior shows:  https://charlaanderson.com/podcast/

Connect with Charla Anderson:

For more insights and to follow Charla’s creative journey, check out her website and her other projects:

---

About  Diane Cunningham Ellis

She founded the National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs in 2010 and sold it in 2017. She offers private coaching , business consulting and masterminds for women who want to create profitable communities to scale their impact, influence and income.  

She has a Masters Degree in Counseling, has written 12 books and is proud to have 12 years of recovery from alcoholism. She turned tragedy into her testimony after she lost her counseling career due to a lawsuit and started over as a coach.  

She is married to her retired FBI agent turned private investigator husband and has also survived a plane crash. For fun she drinks way too much coffee, walks, paints, and goes to TJMaxx to find new treasures.  

—

Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

Everything Charla: https://CharlaAnderson.com/links/

All replays are on my website, https://CharlaAnderson.com/tv-shows/

Build your own website with amazing support: https://CoursePlatformAcademy.com/cpacharla/

Nutrition, Energy, Health, Vitality, Focus, Collagen, Brain Health: https://www.Zurvita.com/charla/en/us/

CBD: https://www.ZBlendsHemp.com/charla/en/us/

Charla@CharlaAnderson.com

NOTE: Some links may provide a small Commission to Charla Anderson, if purchased.