Transforming Pain into Power with Coach Bethany Stone
About Bethany Stone
Bethany Stone is a master mindset and life skills coach and the founder of Thriving by Nature, where she has dedicated over 22 years to empowering individuals through education and personal development. Her journey has been shaped by both profound trials and remarkable triumphs, giving her a unique perspective on personal growth and resilience. Growing up in a supportive Swiss family, Bethany initially set out to build a stable life, but life threw unexpected challenges her way.
After facing significant hardships, Bethany transformed her pain into power, embarking on a profound journey of self-discovery, healing, and personal growth. She shifted from a victim mindset to one of growth and empowerment.
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Introduction
Good beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, Host of the Charla Anderson show collector and connector of fascinating people, and everyone is fascinating. Especially you
I cannot wait to introduce you. It’s amazing how many fascinating people I run across and attract right in my world. And Bethany Stone is one of those, and we’re going to learn about mindset again, and overcoming and hope, and how we can work through these unsteady times in a powerful way, and I can’t wait to introduce you to her. But first, we’re going to do our little breathing exercise. We’ve got 22 seconds. We’re going to breathe in some calm for 7. Hold for 4, and breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds, so will you join me? Come on, now, here we go breathe in some calm..
Hold, Release, Relax. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We probably, especially this time of year, should do that multiple times a day. But here we are doing it at least once a week with me. Okay, so grateful that you are joining us here today, and I am so thrilled. I said yes to an intriguing opportunity, which is one of my sayings, and I joined The Change Book Series with Les Brown on the cover and and and as a forward.
And when we do that, when you do that, we get to be a part of a Facebook group and a mastermind that is off the charts. It’s the best value I’ve probably run across in maybe ever, and it’s a credibility factor. And so Bethany Stone is my guest today. I met her through this Change book series, and it’s the fastest growing book series. And it’s you’re going to be in Book 23.
Yeah, I will be in Book 23 that’s gonna be out in February.
Okay, so it’s coming right up. But we get to be a part of the mastermind. And isn’t that not the most brilliant thing ever right, so.
I feel like I learned so much like when you have people that have the same purpose and want the same things and the same drive. It’s like the fire in the room just grows, and you can feel it just is ignited. And it’s it’s I always walk away with a renewed hope of like, “Oh, I got this.”
Jim Britt and Jim Lutes they don’t even have your cover quite yet, do you? Not yet. Okay. So these guys, they start day one with mastermind coaching and one-on-one coaching. And they’re brilliant. They’re world class world famous folks that take us in under their wing right? And give us really basic. I’m always blown away about how simple their systems are and what they’re offering. And it’s always this basic stuff that we need reminding sometimes.
By human nature, we try to complicate everything because we’re not okay with it, actually, being as simple as it is, it can’t be that simple. So we overcomplicate it. And once we are so overwhelmed that we can’t even process it anymore. All of a sudden, someone is like why?
Just do this.
You need to do, and you just take a breath and go. Oh. you’re right and go back to the basics. But we do this. Let’s overcomplicate everything in our lives.
Truly I am the poster child. Okay, Bethany, you live in Idaho. I’m in Fort Worth. I just heard your son is coming down here, so I’ll be another mother for him anyway. Tell us who you are in this world. Tell us where you came from. What is your passion here? And then we’ll talk a little about what you do and how we can share that with humanity.
Okay, I grew up in a town of 1,000 people in a small farming town in Ashton. It’s very small and my parents are Swiss. So I grew up with a lot of culture, and Swiss people are known to be very, very determined, and I almost want to say that Swiss people are a little bit over prideful like. They think that they are the best, because they’re Swiss. We have the best chocolate.
I was gonna say chocolate and pastry.
I know.
It does work.
And it just like transpires like through these people. They can do anything because they have this sense, this self-worth of like, I can do anything. And I, my grandmothers, are like this. My aunt is like this and my dad came over for the Swiss immigrant American dream. We grew up in great poverty, and he built an amazing company from nothing, and I see that, and I see the determination, and at 17, as a very, very determined child.
At 17, I graduated early, decided I was going to be a teacher, and went to school, became a teacher, and was doing my internship. Actually, I was doing my internship and moved away from home. I don’t know if I’d be okay with my children moving away at home at 17, because I look at them, and I’m like you are not ready.
But I moved away at 17, did my internship, and presented, like I created curriculum, presented at many conferences, educational conferences. and I really love to teach children. I don’t know how not to teach, and I love to teach adults, too. I just love to teach and any position I’m in. I always feel like I’m teaching. I teach ballroom dance currently because my daughter is in ballroom dance. And bungee fitness. And I’m a mindset, master mindset life coach. Now I’ve taught education for 22 years and have shifted careers.
I had a son. One of my sons got sick, which made it so I needed to be more available, so I shifted careers, and I’m home more, and I’m available to him. And now I’m a life coach, and I have been really busy, and I still have that same determination that I grew up with with my culture and just that small town community. Just really, you can relate to people. And I just feel like I’ve carried that through everything that I’ve been through.
And there’s no lack of people to teach. So you have a full, a full curriculum audience to speak to and mindset every single one of us needs. I’m a mindset person, too, I mean every single one of us, and when we don’t think we have a problem with our mindset. That’s when we probably really do just saying, you know.
Well, and your 1st client is always you. The 1st person you ever help is yourself in anything that you’re doing. You always are helping yourself first, st and once you, I feel like I’m always helping myself. I’m very structured and very routine, and I know that if I don’t do these things I don’t feel okay. I need to be fulfilled, as you know, in my love box needs to be fulfilled.
My social box needs to be fulfilled. You know my emotional box needs to be fulfilled. All these things need to be fulfilled. So I’m okay. And so mindset is not something that you ever just stop. It’s something that you gain, and you get the tools to do. And you continue forever.
Yes, these thousands and tens of thousands, and maybe more of personal development stuff that I have in the attic and the closets, all over the shelves. You never get there? You just don’t get there. And so when you have a personal developed mindset, and you know to be a sponge that I want to do. Better be better make myself.
How can I make myself heard? How can I make myself different? How can I make a difference in the world in a positive way, and so good for you? And I’m inspired by that upbringing. There’s a lot of it. Seems like the what are the Scandinavian countries, so to speak, you know, seem to have that. You know, we can get.
I know, and we can do anything.
You know it, and you know.
I know. I don’t even know what the word is just like. The determination. I don’t know if it’s like In my DNA now engrave sounds like it, but it is just it just is. And it was funny, because when my husband, when he started, I moved back home after my divorce to be with my parents. It’s just more stable.
And we needed that environment, and that’s my now husband and he would come up to visit. and it was such a cultural experience to just come into my home. And he because, you know he isn’t. He is from Texas. He is just a U.S.A. boy. And to come to my home and just be immersed with an intense amount of culture. Just it just is the way it is, we are very. There’s a very strong traditions that are just the way it is. Every wall is covered in plates like traditional plates. And it’s just it’s a very traditional way of being brought up.
And it works. I mean, they’ve they’ve survived, and you’ve survived. And it’s and it’s it’s it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It, you know.
Control is huge and having the traditions. And one of them I do want to step back to. When your father came to the United States of America. There’s not another country that has the word dream after it. No other country in the world has a world dream after it.
And even in this, these unsteady times in our country people are still wanting to be having the opportunity. And it’s amazing how many. I would say legal immigrants. People that come here to do that to get better, better. Their life tends to way outperform those of my kids, for instance, that have been raised in this. We got all this opportunity. But you know we got lazy, you know we didn’t. We haven’t necessarily tapped into it in the way that would work. Is that? Does that make sense to you?
Yeah, it does. I think you know, it’s almost like a child. When things are given to you. It doesn’t have as much worth as when you work for something that you really really want, and you don’t have enough money, and you have to work, and you have to save and save and save, and the satisfaction of finally buying that because you earned it is so much different.
And you earned it. But you also chose something that was a value to you. It’s not like, Oh, yeah, I’ll take that. I’ll take that. Or you know we’re in this consumerism society that we never slow down to be still and know, like we just did in the breathing. We don’t take time to hear that inner, still, small voice, and then we get consumed with so much stuff.
And entertainment. I talk about this a lot. I believe entertainment has risen to be the top value in our society, at least in the people I witness, and That’s a sad thing to me, because we can’t. I mean you think about back in the day when there was nothing but stars to look at, and you know you had to forage for food. They really had their minds to listen to the still small voice to the voice of God inside of them, or whatever that is, and create phenomenal thanks.
That we still live on.
Like being in education for so long. There were so many times because I was a Montessori educator. And there’s no technology in those classrooms purposefully. But the kids were actually going through withdrawals. So the kids that I would see at the beginning of my career. They were a much calmer child, and they could be engaged very easily.
So in February, I gave a presentation at an educational conference, and it was called Engaging the Unengaged. And it was specifically talking right about this because we have a problem where people are so overstimulated right now. And it’s not just children. We are in an overstimulated society. And if we do not have that constant sense of stimulation, we don’t feel okay. All of a sudden we have anxiety.
All of a sudden we’re depressed. All of a sudden, you know, we just don’t feel okay. And we just want to climb in our beds, and we just want to scroll our phones. Now, we don’t have done that to ourselves. We’ve done that to ourselves by overstimulating our brain and shooting neurons together that really don’t need to be active all the time. And because that became our normal. Now, we just don’t feel okay without having it.
It’s almost like we have to take everything that we’ve done with our brains, and we have to completely reprogram them. And that’s why, like, when I was deciding what I needed to do for so many years, I’ve been asked before I even decided to do all of my mindset coaching certifications. I’ve been asked for years. Are you a mindset coach? Are you a mindset coach? I guess I should do this.
So I appreciate it. I saw that you were Montessori and my son, who will be 42 in January- my oldest, and I went and found a Montessori school, and he loved that. Everything was their size. They were anything. They thought that they could try to do that, they were able to do it. I’ll just give an example. One day at home one morning he would. Actually he was like 2 and a half, you know, 3 years old, and he had an alarm, and he would set, you know we’d get. He’d get up, and he would sometimes get his own. I was a flight attendant.
I was traveling, and he and he were very self-sufficient, and when I remember one time he had he’d gotten his cereal bowl, put it on the chair, opened a box of cereal, poured it in there. Got a full gallon of milk and opened it and poured it into that cereal bowl and fixed his own breakfast.
And then he’d come get me up sometimes. It was they instill that program that mindset that way of teaching instills this. It’s just what we do. You know, this is how you know, we’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out, and I loved that, it was so great.
And then I, my other 2, ended up going through some Montessori as well, who knows when you start something just saying who knew that I would? Because it was a half day program? I would end up having 11 years of half day programs with the other kids. And then, the one year, we’re one had morning and one had afternoon, and I was like, Oh, my goodness! But you don’t know when you start something like that. But so the monitor system is really phenomenal to me, and I was very, very happy to have found that, and it was close enough to my home to make it work for him.
The reason why it’s done in that way is we are teaching them at a very, very young age how capable we are! Well, they are, because we forget how capable we are. And our society really wants to push down on how capable we are, because it’s easier to control.
And for all of us, I’m like, this is such a huge piece of it.
But if you instill at a young age how capable they are, and the other thing that the wordage that is used in a Montessori environment, or even in a mindset environment, is so different because everything is turned back towards the child. So wow, you did that. You can do that. And so you’re teaching them intrinsic motivation right away, which is so different than what the world teaches us. We are taught that we need to do this for that. We need to do that for that. These are the reasons why we have to do it for that.
To get something else.
Yes, we are teaching. You’re doing this because it’s the right thing to do. You’re doing this because you want to. You’re doing this because you know that it’s going to better somebody else. You’re doing this, not because it’s you know. you’re gonna get something. I mean, you do get something. but it’s so much better than something that just fleets away so quickly than a monetary thing. You get gross.
If you’ll clean your room, I’ll go.
There’s a really great article. It’s I can’t remember what Psychology journal it’s in, but it’s called “how I landed myself in therapy.” And it is a really great article about this woman and she is so happy, she is always so happy. She goes through life, is extremely happy. She gets all the participation awards, straight A student. She is a teacher. She is just great. She gets to college, and she falls into a very, very deep depression and she can’t figure out why and what happened is, everyone stopped telling her good job.
Everyone stopped telling her good job and giving her participation awards and getting recognized for this or for that, or you were the number one in the class or things like that, because as soon as you’re in college all of a sudden, you’re not getting participation awards. And she realized that she was doing everything for intrinsic motivation all the time. That’s one of the large reasons why we have so much depression and anxiety with this. These kids that are going into college because they come from this very, very overly, bearing society of good jobs.
Good job, good job, good job- you are the best. Here’s your orchestra. Here’s your award. Here is this. You did so good at this and this and this, now here’s college and there’s no more. And all of a sudden they don’t know what to do with themselves, and they’re like, why? Why am I sad? Because they forgot to do it for themselves. They forgot to do it for themselves, and because they forgot to do it for themselves. It doesn’t matter.
It’s a huge point you’re making. It’s a huge point, and I get instant gratification. You know, you good boy, good, good kid, you know you don’t. Instead of man, I bet that I bet that feels good. I mean, I bet that felt good to pick up that trash right? Or you’re playing violin because you love it.
You may not get an award and guess what? If you want to continue violin and not and you can’t get into the college music orchestra. That’s okay. If it’s something you love, you keep doing it. You’re finding satisfaction within yourself, not because somebody else is telling you good job.
Yeah, this is an incredibly needed conversation, because I witness it so much. Yes, my, you know. So getting my son the same son when he was 6 years old. He came home and he’s going. We, you know. He was in the swim team, and he was in gymnastics. And then and he said, “Mom, can you believe in just my small speck of a life I’ve gotten all these trophies.” Literally using that word at 6 years old, my small speck of life.
Oh, my God, why and I’m like what?
Where did that come from? And it was cute, but he was doing it. We wanted him to experience everything, and I would not recommend that anywhere anymore, because, it’s not duplicatable if you have more than one kid, and in an easy way. But you know. But he was, he recognized me. You know he’s getting these trophies. But it was, and I’m guessing now, looking back, what you’re saying they were probably mostly participation trophies. But they did, you know, in the swim swim team they had to. They had it. They had first, second and 3rd. I mean you. You know you want the competition, so to speak, but.
You do.
It to you don’t want it to be only that you want to do it.
Well, and you want them to do it because they like it as soon as swimming isn’t fun anymore. Why keep swimming? You want to follow the child, or even follow what your needs are, and my needs change as an adult. For a long time I was like only dancing. Now I’m dancing and running, you know, like I can’t just dance. Just can’t just dance, even though I like to dance. It’s not what I want to do. I I found that I love running a lot more.
Don’t you do some biking and hiking? You guys are outdoor people. Thank you.
Yeah, we are. We go on some pretty epic mountain backpacking trips. And I that I look forward to the snow melting and getting up in those mountains, and you know it’s one of the hardest and most rewarding things you can do just because your body is number one, you have a 20 pound pack. I sometimes pack a little heavier. I am trying to be a lighter packer, but I feel like. I really want a good sleeping pad. and you know you are hiking up these really steep mountains. I mean literal mountains. and you go from, you know, 5,000 feet to 12,000, and it gets hard, not just because you have a lack of oxygen, which you know.
It happens your body is strained because you’ve lack oxygen because of the weight that you’ve been carrying for hours. and because the incline is just so much. and the terrain is not easy. and you just keep going and keep going. And it sounds right now. I mean, I’m listening to myself. This sounds terrible. But as you’re stepping, and when I’m at my wits end. And I’m like, I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I just keep saying, you know what one more step, just one more step. and when you get to that top and you get to look over the top of all the mountains and look down into the valleys, and just see the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen.
It’s almost the amount of dopamine you get is amazing. You just feel so fulfilled and so light, not just because you put that pack down. But it’s almost like all your burdens are gone. And I kind of think like that’s kind of how you know life is hard, and we don’t know till we reach the top, and then it seems we can look down and be like I did not. I’m.
It’s you against the elements. So what you’ve done. And it’s a mindset. I can do this one more step, one more step. And you look at people that you know the overcomers in in prisoners of war and all those things that are just in yeah stories. There’s no lack of those stories, but when you reach the pinnacle, when you reach the top, you’ve done it, and you could.
I would think I’m guessing, and I’ve not done what you just talked about in that extreme. But you know you get there, and it feels like you’re closer to God. It feels like you are closer to God, physically right, I mean, I really God’s in here, too.
No, but the sense of peace and fulfillment you feel is incomparable because you accomplished something hard. You don’t have to climb a mountain to experience that though you.
Are people running marathons, too.
Completing their book, or whatever happens to be, that.
Any challenge in your life. When you’re done, if you take a moment to recognize it. you will get that sense of accomplishment and that intrinsic motivation, and to recognize that. and to recognize that feeling, so that every single time you have that feeling you can have that sense of gratitude, for it just brings you to that next level, and it makes you want to accomplish more for yourself, not for other people.
Yeah, I love that. This is a thing I know that it’s been something I’ve not done well is celebrate even small things but celebrate completion. It’s like, Oh, it’s just what I did, and I finished it. And now I’m going to do this. And you know so often. That’s my has been my life, you know, of not really anchoring those wins.
I think that that’s a little key piece that we can. What you’re talking about is self, you know, realization that you totally totally did something, and it’s not I. Years and years ago I was, you know I was a flight attendant for 34 years. I retired 17 years ago, maybe. I was in a class with I think it was an NlP class, something like that. And he came to me at lunch, the teacher, and there were about a dozen of us there, and he said. I think I’ve heard you say. Oh, I was just a flight attendant a dozen times this morning.
If I ever hear you say that again, you’re get out of here. And I was like. Oh, huh! I just did what I did right, but I was an international coordinator. I was an award winning flight attendant. I carried the Olympic torch, I won all these. You know things that you don’t think about flight attendants winning, and I could get you out of an airplane in 90 seconds flat, and I can.
And I commuted. And I worked max hours and a mission trip, mom and I was doing all this stuff. But I didn’t have a degree. So I was just a flight attendant. That was my mindset back then, and I’m like, wait a minute. So I shifted that one thing because I was an international flight attendant that did all this stuff. They can do anything right? Yeah.
100%. You can do anything.
So my second book is A Split Second Transformation ~ Change your words, change your life. 31 daily practices every word matters, every word matters. And when you can split a second transformation, you can literally shift your world in one split second. And that’s an example of when I did. I did it multiple times. When you recognize it.
So, recognizing the wins that you have and acknowledging them. And I, you know. So I think it’s Sarah Ban Breathnach that wrote the simple abundance. Love that, she said in one of her chapters.
She’s like I had done this stuff. I mean major stuff cover, you know, magazines. And she said, but you walk in my house. There wasn’t 1 speck of evidence of any of it. Oh, we didn’t want to do self promotion right? Then she was found a wall of fame, or whatever you wanted to do. So I have my Olympic torch. It used to be up here behind the screen. Now it’s downstairs in my living room.
That’s amazing.
And so when we don’t want to be self-promoting. But if we don’t promote ourselves, or at least acknowledge our stuff, nobody else is going to do it.
I know because we are amazing. And we have to understand that we are amazing. And we have to be okay with us, being amazing, because I think that’s 1 of my struggles is I? I don’t like to put myself out there too much, but if someone asks me, I’m totally fine, I can tell you everything.
Self promotion. We’re talking about self promotion. We don’t want self promotion. We don’t want to appear to be arrogant or comp or what’s the word. You’re so good. What you said.
Yeah, I know.
Self promoting is one way of saying it. But yeah, it is boastful. We don’t want any of that, and when we can go it’s not about arrogance it’s about authority gives us. It’s the authority factor, right? We have an authority that we actually literally have evidence of. So you know, you’ve got. Yeah, I see some certificates behind you. Why not? We’ve done the work, it’s not, it’s not boastful. It’s this is this is part of who I am, and I can help you with that.
I’ve done all these things.
A big conversation that we don’t typically hear very much, you know I don’t? I’m still not really very good at it. I’m like, Oh, yeah, I just wrote, I wrote this book. Oh, it’s a bestseller. I wrote this, you know. I mean, it’s like it’s just what I do, intimidating what we do.
Intimidating like for us to promote ourselves because we have fear, like the bottom line, is even though we feel good about these things, and we can acknowledge that we’ve done these things to put it out there, though there is the bottom. The base of all of this is fear is rejection. So what if I put all these things out there? And nobody likes me, nobody buys one copy of my book. Nobody ever even likes to acknowledge anything. I just put this out there. Well, okay. Is that the worst thing that can happen? Because those aren’t really bad things.
It’s just so when you deal with what’s so right.
Things like work stops us.
Words that are we heard as a child. Don’t get too big for your britches. Who do you think you are? You know those kinds of things. Did I get too big for my britches? Because I you know, I did this nice thing. And you know, you know you got it. We get silly about it, but it’s I don’t think it’s a no concept.
I guess we just all need to get bigger britches.
Well, some of us do, you know that.
Where are what are you doing now? I wanna ask. So let’s get your your, we’re gonna spell your name because the vast majority of people that will listen to this will listen on audio, not video. So that spell your name, spell your website. Let’s just remember to do that before we get too far along. And so, because there’s different ways of
spelling everything.
So my name is spelled Bethany B.E.T.H.A.N.Y. And then my email address is bethany@thrivingbynature.com, and it, and thriving by nature, is spelled T.H.R.I.V.I.N.G.B.Y.N.A.T.U.R.E.
That’s your website. Yeah, that’s your website.
My website as well. So my website. thrivingbynature.com
Come up with that.
Because I feel like everyone has the ability to thrive within themselves. It’s part of our human nature. Is our God-given right to be able to thrive. God did not put us on this earth to have us fail. and I think that we just need to realize that it is our nature to thrive and to be able to discover that. And if we can discover how we can thrive. and that’s all I do is help you to discover. That is what you need to support you. to be able to thrive in the aspects of your life where you feel like you are lacking. That’s what I do.
So how are people? How are you marketing that? How are you getting that? You can go to my website.
I do have a little. Podcast and I actually on the 1st couple of ones of my podcast, I didn’t even say my website, or anything because of that fear that we just got done discussing. I mean, I’m guilty of it, too. And finally, I was like, you know what I’m just going to put all my information at the end.
And you know how they do on podcasts. And so and I am not big, but my podcast is called thriving by nature. and it is on Spotify by Bethany stone and at the end of my podcast I do tell you about my website thrivingbynature.com And on my website you can actually have, there’s a free download on my website for a free Pdf, on why, you might feel stuck, and how to get out of that. And you can download that free.
Pdf, and then you can actually book a free strategy. Call with me through there. and everything’s on my website. I have a Facebook page thriving by nature. Everything is thriving by nature and also an Instagram. And currently, I just, I’m busy with family, and I’m working with individual clients, and I’m preparing. I’m speaking at the AI summit, January 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th. And so I’m preparing that I was working on that.
Where is that? What is that? Where’s the AI summit?
That one is going to be an online summit.
Wow!
So I’ll be presenting online and on my Facebook page and on my Instagram page, I’ll put information on there so that you, if you are interested in it. You can sign up to go to the summit. I think to be a really great summit. I’m not an AI marketing person, but I’m there because I’m teaching and talking about organization and your personal life, and in your professional life, and how that can really like boost every aspect of your life forward, but I will be speaking about.
That organization key right now, when you have a time of chaos in your world, in your life, and it takes. And so, as you’re speaking about that. A lot of us have. I mean, I’ve got a lot of chaos in my own home, and this year has gotten crazy. And you know, when you stop to go clean out the attic or clean out the garage or pick up the you know the papers. Had emptied out of a desk that had to get moved, or whatever it is. You can’t, you know it’s you. You stop forward motion.
You stop forward motion to stop, to look back, to go through stuff that has to be gone through, and I think that’s why it gets pushed aside and waited. And you know, because I want I’ve got this to do, and this to do, and this to do. but to stop going through all that old stuff.
And so one of my one of my things I made up a long time ago. I had my kids. I had a saying of the month, and I put sticky notes long before the Internet put sticky notes around. And like, you know, it’s like, it’s easier to keep up than to catch up is one of them, and I feel like that is a huge thing. If you will wipe up every every day on your let’s go in your bathroom, wipe up the counters every single day, and once a week you scrub the toilet. You’ll never have to do a deep cleaning. You might, you know, a little bit deeper now, where every once a month, or whatever. But if you keep up.
The maintenance.
Don’t have to catch up, and then to keep up so.
I think when it talks about organizing, when you are talking about your well, any type of organizing this is for anything. You always make more of a mess before you can actually clean it. That is the truth.
It gets worse before it gets better.
It always gets worse before it gets better, and you have to know that when you are in the thick of it, and you have just now exploded everything to even see what you had. You cannot walk away. That is your tipping point of okay. Now, am I going to push through this? Or am I going to walk away and let this win? So you have to decide at that point when you have exploded everything. what you’re gonna do, because a lot of people, as soon as they’re like I’m gonna organize. And then they get to that point of you make more of a mess before it can actually get better, they’ll walk away. I can’t do this. It’s overwhelming. and if you do that, then this stuff or your chaos in your life, whatever it is, one.
And it get, and it’s worse than right? So then.
And it continues to build. You have to break it up in a way that you can, and when you reach that tipping point you set a timer. If it’s stuff you set a timer 10 min. Okay, I am not going to look at anything here. I’m just going to work on this pile of papers for 10 min, or if it’s a chaos like a pantry, or your desk, or whatever you’re gonna look at one item and the 1st item.
You see, you’re like, Okay, I’m going to put all like items like this that I can see right now together. I’m going to play Mahjong in real life. This is what I’m doing. And you know, change it to be like, Okay. 10 min. I’m gonna go get a drink. I’m going to come back. Okay, 10 min, all right. I’m going to go. Do something. Come back in 10 min. You are able to push through that, and you overcame it, and you won. You didn’t let chaos win. You overcame chaos.
But keep that timer going, especially when you were the one when you go to get the drink right, you know.
Timer is so good like having a timer is so good. I having water bottles are so good because it’s like. alright. Well, I can’t. I can’t get a take a break until I’m done with drinking all my water. So if I want to take a break. you know, I’m gonna sit. It’s hard to drink an entire water bottle, you know. So drink, drink, work, work, work, work, drink, drink. Okay. My break is filling up my water bottle, you know.
And honestly 20, I think. 10 min may be it, but I’m going to guess 20 min is probably a better
20 min is good. You build up.
Yeah, whatever. What? 5 min is better than no minutes. So yeah. So I’m just, you know, talking to me. I’ve got so much. And I know that my, you know, when I got so many things to catch up on. it’s hard to be creative, right? It’s harder to be creative in the chaos. So than and.
Progress is better than no progress. so movement is better than being stagnant.
So just take that 1st step and her not so. And one of these is, I mean, these are little things, but they’re big things for people for me. Sometimes, you know. Okay, my timer is on my phone. So I’m gonna hit. The repeat. Oh, but there’s a message. So it might be better to have external.
There’s so many distractions, so many things pulling us away from things that we should be doing, and things that hold us accountable like we have to hold ourselves accountable as adults. We’re like now, we have to be accountable, you know.
You’re a big, you’re a big person. Now. Yeah, so okay. So the we’ve got the last few minutes. Here it goes fast every single week. It’s amazing. So I want to you to share what is most important to you. What do you want people to know? How do you want to make a difference for people. And how is that in a succinct world? And what would you? What would your ideal person be listening for?
I want people to know that they don’t have to be okay with not being okay. like, yes, be okay with not being okay. But if you’re really in a hard spot. and you really think that you have some thinking fallacies, or you just find yourself always in this vicious cycle lot of the times I’ll talk about visit cycle if you find yourself always in this vicious cycle and you want to finally break that loop. You can book a free call with me. and I will help set up a strategy for you to get out of that vicious cycle, because my main goal, like even as and the educator for so long.
I want to see people thrive in a way that they will never be able have to seek that help again, they will be able to have the tools to be able to. Why am I doing this? Okay, go back to my toolbox. These are the things I have. Okay, this is how I fix this. We are so much more capable than what we think. We just need to be given the tools and education to be able to pull out those tools when we need them, to realize that I’m having a hard time with this.
Why am I having this struggle in my life. Go to your toolbox. pull it out. Okay, I can fix that. That is what I want people to be able to do. I want everyone to be able to have that toolbox with them, to be able to pull out what they need so that they can really thrive in their own lives.
I love the analogy of the toolbox. I when my I had you know, it’s complicated with relationships. But I had a couple of young kids, grandkids, step grandkids, or whatever they were, you know wonderful kids staying with me for a little bit, and I was giving them all kinds of tools, and I would say, you know nobody can hurt your feelings without your permission. Nobody can make you angry without your permission. If you and and, by the way, bullies are victims, too. They might.
What if you gave them grace and empathy rather than you know? Get yes. and I don’t ever mean to take abuse. But you know the mindset, the perspective that why wonder what’s going on in their world? Right? That would cause them to be treating someone else like that. They don’t love themselves enough. So I gave them a whole list of the tools that they could use. Put an eggshell around yourself, or step into a you know, big Ziploc. So you know, you know, it can bounce off of you instead of receiving it. It was just one of them. But I think that toolbox is a really great analogy. And then, you know, okay, yeah. Oh, I need a screwdriver. Now, you know whatever. And so one of your tools. I’m going to just go back into this because we haven’t really discussed your amazing journaling. And I listen to it.
Your you’re very short video or podcast, about journaling. And I was like. you know, I go through phases where I do, I and this, this thing that gets us so distracted. Sometimes I want, okay, I want a journal. But it needs to be a really pretty journal. It needs to be written really nice, and it reads to be so. You never get to it, because it’s not. I need the exact right notebook to make these notes, and then, Oh, my gosh! I’ve missed a few days.
Podcast: Thriving by Nature: https://open.spotify.com/show/0WKU9MeZJf9Ak7IyzbCQtf
Yeah.
So you want to address that really quickly, and I know you have some amazing journals that do sell.
I guess.
Self mastery of all these concepts. So let’s talk.
So this.
Wind up.
Okay. So I keep a commonplace book. This is my current commonplace book. I don’t keep a journal.
Mention that again commonplace.
It’s called the Commonplace Book. So I have a commonplace book, and it is like it is everything. It is not beautiful. It is just a book. And I always like I actually just bought 2 more, because I’m going to be filling this up very soon. You’re do not have to keep a journal in the way that we sometimes think we’re trained to keep journals like it needs to be beautiful. You need to have all these pictures. You need to draw little doodles. You need to have things structured.
You need to put the dates you need to. It doesn’t need to be that what you need to do is you need to release all of the things that are in your mind, and just put them down. So in my commonplace book. It’s everything. All. The only rule I have is that I have to put the date regardless of when I write. So I mean, yesterday I was writing in it.
I wrote the date, and I literally just was making Christmas lists in my commonplace book. And then I wrote something else, and then I also wrote, oh, don’t forget that I need to get these things and these things for Christmas cookies. That’s what I wrote yesterday. I didn’t write journal things I wrote, this is what’s but it kind of is, this is what’s happening in my life on this date.
And then, you know, today, I got on in my commonplace book. And I was like, these are all the things I’m doing. I need to make sure I do this. Oh, you know what this thought I’ve been thinking about, my son. This is something I’ve been thinking about. I want to address this with him. I write it all down. or I’ll write recipes.
I’ve tried. or I’ll write everything. Everything goes in here, and it’s so nice because I can just refer to it whenever I need to. I can look at the date you’re like, okay. This was, you know, in September I can go back. Oh, I remember, I needed to do something in September. I need to find those notes, or, as at that meeting in September. Oh, here’s all the notes I bring this to my meetings. I bring this to everything. My! Everything is in there, it’s my brain. And then I put it up on the shelf, and I get a new one.
I, and that honestly, it’ll be a treasure for your family, and you know they’re going. Oh, my gosh! What was that recipe? I wonder if it’s in her commonplace book, and I love that you shifted the name from. you know, Journal, and I was like, I’ve got to have a Gratitude Journal and I have to have a to-do list journal, and I have to have a and we get so me. Charla gets so bogged down into which one do I? Which way do I go that I don’t do any of it, and then so much gets lost in the shuffle. We don’t.
Yeah, we don’t have to have multiple books. We just have to have one.
Brilliant as anything I’ve heard, so thank you for that.
The other thing that I’ve done is because if you just want to learn a certain skill, I’ve also created these guided journals. And so these guided journals are called mindful Moments. I had my great, my cousin actually is a graphic designer, and so I just contacted her. I give her all the content.
And she just puts it all together and makes it so beautiful anyways. And so there’s different topics like meditation, patience, persistence, organization, and self-care. And you can just order one, and then it just kind of goes through. You have a little place to journal a mood tracker. You have coloring pages, and every week you have a little lesson on what the topic is. So if you’re just trying to learn how to do these things. This is a great way to start. And this one is all about learning, meditation and the skills behind meditation, and how to do that.
And the reason. And so those are really 30 day journals, right? That they’re monthly.
They are 30 days.
And that’s that’s kind of a a hey? What about good Christmas gifts? Right? Wouldn’t that be awesome?
Yeah.
They to offer? You know somebody you love. You said persistence what you know. You’ve listed a bunch of them. But meditation and and.
Awesome.
You know. So you’ve got one month. You can learn a new skill if you don’t have the financial means, or if you want to do a joint.
Exactly.
You can literally self. Teach yourself and those QR codes that you put in there will take you back to an audio or another learning.
Podcast.
Something like that, or a piece of our.
Youtube video, so that you can learn those things. Yeah. They have been really great. Okay.
Well received, I can imagine, and about what is about the cost of one of the monthly ones.
So there, if you just want the journal, it’s $30. So these are only 30, which I think is a great investment for a skill that you can learn. And you can actually go to mindful moments on Facebook, and you can order them through the Facebook page on there, or you can contact me. If you schedule a call with me, and you mentioned that you heard it from this show, then I will send you a free Pdf. Of meditation. One.
Nice. Thank you. That’s generous, though that’s a great offer. So thank you so much. Well, any final words. We’re shutting her down and the like. I said, I, you know I keep thinking I’m going to just do 30 min, but I can’t. We get so much going. It’s so much fun and so much learning, I mean, I learn so much every week from these fascinating people, and everyone’s fascinating. And I’m collecting more and more every week of these people. Many of the people from the change book we talked about so.
Everyone I’ve met has been amazing.
Everybody. everybody. I’ve had probably 6 or 7, and I’ve got 2 or 3 more, I think, scheduled already from the change. I mean. That’s where I’m getting a pool of guests because they’re brilliant.
Yeah, there’s.
Brilliant. And so they’re diverse. But such a common make a difference in our world people. So yeah, it’s great, great, great, great. Solast words we gotta shut her down.
Last words. To remember that the things that you do today will change your tomorrow. So always make sure that you’re aware of what you’re doing today. And if you don’t like what happened today. then change it.
Where you are is all this is the way I see it. Where you are is all you have right this second, you don’t have any other place to be than where you have ended up right this second. You can’t change any of that. You can’t change one second of your past. You can only change like where, if you don’t like where you are right. This second, you can make a different choice. Do it, take it. Your next step can be a different word, a different direction and start a path. Right now, today in your world. you can change your next step. You can change. You don’t have to stay in your status quo if you aren’t happy.
No, and every day is a new day and a new chance every day.
Every minute of every day. But truly, you know, if you’re in the gutter. you are loved. This is one way, I say it. You know God loves you, and if He created you, He created you in His image, and He loves you, and if you’re in the gutter or in your castle you are provided for. You have been provided for up until, if you can take a breath, then I am in you. If you can take a breath then you have been provided for.
Yeah, there’s a we’re out of time. But there is a really awesome song. I used to teach kids about breathing. I don’t know. Do I have enough time to sing it to you?
You got 2 min, silver.
Perfect. Okay, so this is a song that I still remember, and I will sing sometimes for myself. But it goes. Give yourself a bear hug because you’re small. Give yourself a bear hug because your brain gives yourself a bear hug, cause you’re important. Give yourself a bear hug every day greeting and breathe out, hold your breath,
I’m not it. Give yourself a bear hug because you’re strong. Give yourself a bear hug because you’re brave. Give yourself a bear hug every day. And so when I think about those things, you remember how important you are, and you remember to breathe and take that moment.
Thank you for that. That’s beautiful, and if you don’t mind if you’ll send me the words, or some way that, so I can put it in the blog post of the.
Yeah, I’ll send you this. Yeah, I will.
That would be awesome. Well, thank you, Bethany, it’s been really, really amazing. I love hearing from you. I’m grateful. I’m inspired by you. you and your. you know, the determined family, the Swiss I love, I love, I love Zurich. I’ve been, you know, I love as a flight attendant. I would spend time there. My son found my son. My second son fell down Mount Titles and broke his stuff while
He was on a tour over there, and I was like. Oh, yeah, what do you do? But I broke a tooth, and I think his arm. Anyway, it’s a long time ago. But yeah, so we’ve had some experience in Switzerland just a bit. But thank you, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you, and we will be in touch, and I will, as I always tend to do, be in my show with them, and
Always, Always, Always. Choose Joy.
Important Links
- Bethany‘s Email: bethany@thrivingbynature.com
- Website: http://www.thrivingbynature.com
- Phone : 208-845-3377
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bethany.e.courtright
- LinkedIn- http://www.linkedin.com/in/bethany-stone-mindset-coach
- Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/thriving_by_nature_coaching
- Podcast: Thriving by Nature- https://open.spotify.com/show/0WKU9MeZJf9Ak7IyzbCQtf
Connect with Charla Anderson:
For more insights and to follow Charla’s creative journey, check out her website and her other projects:
- Website: CharlaAnderson.com
- YouTube: Check out her channel for beginner art tips, life wisdom, and more!
- Win Win Women: Catch her on winwinwomen.tv to watch her shows and learn more.
About Bethany Stone
Bethany Stone is a master mindset and life skills coach and the founder of Thriving by Nature, where she has dedicated over 22 years to empowering individuals through education and personal development. Her journey has been shaped by both profound trials and remarkable triumphs, giving her a unique perspective on personal growth and resilience. Growing up in a supportive Swiss family, Bethany initially set out to build a stable life, but life threw unexpected challenges her way.
After facing significant hardships, Bethany transformed her pain into power, embarking on a profound journey of self-discovery, healing, and personal growth. She shifted from a victim mindset to one of growth and empowerment. As an accomplished author and engaging speaker, Bethany shares insights and strategies through her published life skill journals and various speaking engagements, where she passionately educates and motivates others. She specializes in guiding both typical and neurodivergent individuals in cultivating lasting habits, emotional intelligence, and confidence. Her diverse interests, including dancing, running, hiking, and teaching fitness classes, reflect her passion for life and holistic well-being. Through Thriving by Nature, Bethany’s mission is to inspire others to conquer their fears, embrace their true selves, and cultivate joy, no matter the obstacles they face.
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I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming and podcasts.
As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torch bearer, personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, Published Author and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion of living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.
On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.
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