Two Incredibly Divine Stories in One Inspired Hour: God’s Unexpected Path to Freedom

Two Incredibly Divine Stories in One Inspired Hour: God’s Unexpected Path to Freedom

About Ruth & Samuel Vazquez

TISSUE ALERT! Ruth & Samuel Vazquez tell a most fascinating tale of redemption, forgiveness, miraculous healing… a real-life love story. Out of ashes, rise up! They now serve to help others heal from their pain to Emerge and Thrive.

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Introduction

Good, beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (& EVERYONE is Fascinating!), especially you.

I’m so excited that you’re here with me today. Do you believe in miracles? Do you believe that even autism might be able to be reversed? Do you believe that overcomers can win and thrive in spite of their past? You will not believe the stories that this couple, Ruth & Samuel Vazquez, are going to be telling and sharing with us today. 

…BUT FIRST…

we’re going to do my little breathing exercise that 22 second mini vacation that we’re going to breathe in some calm we’re going to for seven seconds hold for four seconds and breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds so join me as we breathe in some calm and get still be still and know for just this moment here we go 

hold Release, relax, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 

So here we are with some pastors that live in El Paso, Texas, a couple that are doing an incredible job out here ministering and they’re, can you believe they’d be in El Paso, Texas from New Jersey? Anyway, I’m so excited to introduce Ruth and Pastor, well, you’re both pastors, but Ruth & Samuel Vazquez. And I just want to, and we met through BRI Talks, which is Terri Lee Harrison. 

It’s a Christian-based Ted talk/Toast masters, you know, speakers group. Amazing. And we love her and we love that. And we love them. And so you guys tell us who you are in this world and we’ll just, where’d you come from just a bit, and then we’ll delve into where you, where you headed as well.

Well, first of all, thank you so much, Charla, for the opportunity to share our story. We pray we’ll bless you as well as all those who are watching your show. And we appreciate you taking a slice of your day just to listen in on what God has done in our lives. Today, I asked my husband and my very best friend, Reverend Samuel Vazquez, to join me in our talk. 

We were both born and raised in New York, and we served as pastors in New York for a denomination, as well as we co-founded a church as well, and we served in New Jersey for about 12 years, then later on went back to New York. And recently, yes, we were called to revitalize a church in New Mexico, so we decided it was time for me to retire. I’m also a full-time educator, so I retired, and we moved to New Mexico to help the church revitalize, so we spent… 

Two years. Two years working with that church, and recently stepped down. We realized we have so many stories, so many things to share about what God has done with us, with our son. You heard my story about our son and God’s miraculous healing. And today I’m wanting to share a little bit about how God healed my own life. And so we have a 24 year old son, and today we’re talking a little bit about, well, 

I guess why we do coaching, why we’re doing what we do. We have 30 plus years in ministry experience, and it came a point in our life that we realized we needed to share the way that God heals through various seasons in life. And, you know, the point of my favorite scripture is 2 Corinthians 1.4 where it says, 

He comforts us in all of our struggles so that we can comfort others. And when they are troubled, we’ll be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. And so that’s our story of grace, forgiveness, and redemption. It’s a story of healing. It’s a story of forgiveness and God’s unexpected path to freedom. So I’d like to just start. It starts when I was a little girl. We all know little girls are amazing. They’re a lot of fun and they are the sweetest thing ever. And at bedtime, they want to hear bedtime stories and sweet lullabies. And, you know, we protect them and we hold them close at night. But for me at a very young age, that was not a reality. 

I was at I believe at the age of six, I was sexually abused. And many of my memories during that season remain a blur. But what I do remember makes me shudder. And I remember I would pray at night and say, oh, Lord, when will this end? When will all of this be over? And I’d wrap myself in my bed sheets, but my protective barrier at the tender age of six didn’t guard me from the abuse that happened on a nightly basis. And, well, the words tightly knotted in my throat. 

I cried for help. but and i would think, well maybe this is just a bad dream it’s going to go away he won’t hurt me it’s ours but he would just keep telling me you know it’s our secret you would never tell anyone And I dreaded being alone with him. I would hide. Nothing worked. And I guess I’m a visual person, so I would envision that the room would fill up with water and envision myself swimming far away to a place where I could never be found. And the abuse continued for years. 

He called me horrible names. And I’d pray and think, what could I possibly be doing wrong? To make him do these things to me. We often blame ourselves as women. We blame ourselves. I thought it didn’t make any sense of guilt ridden ridden. I plead with God. God, please show me the way born and raised in church on my life. I’m praying and asking him to forgive me. for what I thought was my fault. 

And I couldn’t recite it then, but I could relate to the psalmist when he says, oh, that I had the wings of a dove. I would fly away, be at rest. I would flee away and stay in the desert. So school became my only safe haven. So despite everything that I was going through, I became really good students. I studied really hard. did everything possible so that I wouldn’t have to think about the abuse that occurred.

And it’s just, it’s just, you know, I know, it’s probably so much more prevalent than we can imagine. And I think many, many, many, many people suffer through that maybe not as long, hopefully, you know, but we’ve all got stories in our past, right. And And this, I don’t, you know, it’s just almost hard to fathom and it breaks my heart. Did did any did you did anybody believe you? Did you try to tell anybody? I mean, this is it didn’t.

I was too afraid to speak. I was really used to threaten you. He was threatened. He would say a lot of horrible things. Is this your biological person, father, as they have been? It was my dad. It was a family member. It wasn’t my dad. But It was just too scary for me to share.

And that’s your reality. You don’t know what anybody else’s life is. You don’t know that they’re not, everybody isn’t dealing with that in a way. And I mean, you don’t know. And what a, what a horrible thing. You must have, I’m sure you stepped it down and stepped it down as much as you could, but you obviously do know and do remember. Can you share if they’ve ever come to justice at all, or did it ever get dealt with?

Well, that’s a very good question, but I think the way God intervened, it’s a unique way that happened with me, and you’ll better understand once I share the rest of the story. I never shared it with anyone, I went to college and I kind of stuffed that down inside. I was a pre-med student, couldn’t focus, couldn’t do anything. And I really felt like my self-worth was gone and fell into a very deep depression. And in my mind, I felt like God was distant, detached, that he didn’t care about me and felt like, you know, I’m just here, lost.

And it wasn’t till one day at my church, Sam’s father is a minister. So I was a member of his church. That’s how we met. And his father was talking about living a life committed to God. And I thought, how on earth could I serve a God who doesn’t answer my questions? And it was a moment of, I want to say, a turning point for me where, God, you either answer me or explain this, or I’m not serving a God who doesn’t hear me. And it was then that Sam kind of came into the picture. And I’ll let him share the rest of the story, or part of the story.

Well, it was during that very time that God began to deal with me. I was in Missouri studying at Central BIBLE College. I attended class very early in the morning, and I worked two jobs to pay tuition and my mortgage, and I was always tired. And there I was. After having sat through my first class, now I’m sitting through a sermon by a professor with the most monotone delivery ever. And his message was on intercessory prayer. And I don’t remember anything about the sermon other than how he finally ended. 

And he said, now turn right there in your seat and make your seat an altar, an intercede for that person that the Lord is bringing to your mind. And I remember my prayer. Honestly, it was an irreverent prayer. I said, Lord, I really don’t have anyone to pray for. I’m so tired. I have two more classes, and I have a whole night to work, and I wish I could just sleep right here. I can make these seats my bed. I would do that instead of an altar. Yet it was at that very moment that God brought the image of Ruth to mind, and I began to see as if a movie reel. 

Ruth’s face steeped with shame and anguish, streaming with tears, desperately yearning for answers from God. And the secrets of her childhood abuse were revealed, and the pain that tormented her overcame me, and the Holy Spirit commissioned me to go to New York and to speak with Ruth with a message from the Lord. And again, honestly, I was the most unlikely person to do this. You know, I was, what, maybe 20, 21 years old. As I knelt there at my seat, I contended with God. I said, look, 

I can’t do this. I’m a guy. Really? You know, and I said, you know, send my father. He’s a pastor. send my mother. She’s a woman. And so I used every possible excuse, and finally abandoning the idea, retorting, God, I can’t do this that you’re asking. I’ve spent my money on tuition, on books, and on mortgage. There, it would require a financial miracle. And so I forgot who I was speaking to. I rose somberly from my knees and I headed down the aisle. And there at the very end of that row was this gentleman called Alex. I had just met him maybe a week ago or two weeks ago. And he leaned in for a hug. I’m a short guy. 

He was a very tall guy. He leaned down to me. And so he greeted me and said, hey, Sam, I need to go to New York to visit some friends for spring break. If you take me, I’ll pay your way. And my answer was, sorry, Alex, no can do. And as I walked away, I thought, what a coincidence. But as I headed from chapel to the next class, the missions director, her name was Heather Woodcock. She stops me midway and she says, hey, Sam, I need to visit my family in New York. Will you take me? I’ll pay your way. I became very nervous at that point and said, Heather, 

I’m not certain, but if anything, I’ll let you know. Now, I know this sounds like one of those bar stories where you have the three guys, but now I’m sitting in class and as I’m sitting there at my desk, I’m still reeling from what just happened. And Dr. Monotonous, the guy that had just preached at the chapel was also my next professor. And so there he was. He says, class, let’s take a moment for prayer before you take a pop quiz. And so I bow my head to say yet another irreverent prayer, because I was not ready for a quiz. And so Linda, 

who was the school nurse, she was sitting behind me. And as he is praying, she whispers. And she says, hey, Sam. I need to go to New York for spring break. If you take me, I’ll pay your way. And so at that point, it registered.

I got to interrupt. Three people said that in between classes.

Yes, ma’am.

In the same hour, basically.

Yes, ma’am. It was in the span.

Oh, I mean, there was not whispers here. This was shouts.

Yes, ma’am. And at that very point, it registered either my car is very popular on this campus, which I don’t think it was or God really intends. to speak with Ruth. And so as Dr. Monotonous said, amen, I turned to Linda and I said, hey, pack your bags. I’ll take you. I’ll take Heather and Alex to New York for spring break. 

And I drove to New York with all of my expenses paid, gas, meals, everything completely paid for. And, you know, God’s outrageous love and his amazing grace for his children,The lengths that God will go through to reach one of his precious children just never, never ceases to amaze me.

So then Sam drove 1,200 miles from Missouri to New York. I didn’t tell him what I was going through. My crossroads with God. And in the moment, circumstances didn’t allow for us to meet right away. We know that the enemy is relentless. to stop God’s plans for his children. And I want to say right before he had to go back, we finally had opportunities to meet. 

And as with Job in scripture, who suffered through his ordeal, never knowing what was going on, I wasn’t aware that as I was praying my desperate prayer to God, that God was speaking to Sam in intercessory prayer and commissioning him to meet me. So upon arriving, he didn’t mince any words. He says, Ruth, I have no idea how to do this. We’re both 21-year-olds in college, but I have a word from the Lord for you. So he spoke to my specific circumstances of valuing me, assuring me of God’s love and how God understood my pain. And at a certain point, 

Sam stated that I could be set free through the power of biblical forgiveness. And it set free because I was in a deep depression. I was angry all the time. I had deep bitterness. And it was just like this anger of what had happened, which I believe I had a right to feel angry, was really taking a toll on my life and not allowing me to become a person. And I looked at him, I’m like, are you nuts? I’m going to forgive a sex offender, the person who’s supposed to be there for me. 

I can’t and I won’t. And I was, um, upset and bitter and didn’t want to hear what Sam had to say. But he took his time and under God’s anointing, he explained what biblical forgiveness is. And on that day was when I came to grips with the reality of my abuse, that it was not my fault. that I didn’t bring that upon me, and that I then began to understand how it had traumatized my entire life. 

I faced the stark truth that I had been sinned against by a family member, that I wasn’t the cause of my pain and that I had done nothing to deserve it. So during that time, Sam just looked at me and he, I always journaled as a from my childhood through adulthood till now. And I used to journal secretly about my feelings. But this was like the first time that I felt like I had permission to bring out all my real emotions, all everything, all my bitterness, all my anger. And I wrote for what felt like an eternity. And I just cried and released everything that was inside.

And at that very moment, I asked Ruth a very poignant question.

And he asked me, you know, do you think Are you able to forgive this perpetrator? And you know, it’s hard, right? It is hard as a woman to think, forgive, how can I forgive? You’re not even here. And Sam said, you know, in order to forgive, you don’t need the other person present. Forgiveness is a one-way street. When you forgive, you free yourself from the weight of bitterness and give your burden to God, regardless of whether or not the person wants it, or if he accepts your forgiveness.

He may not receive it, and he may not ever know, but the power of forgiveness is incredible. My niece. wrote a book and has a Forgiveness Academy. She was kidnapped by her dad at age seven, and we didn’t have her. I re-kidnapped her back from England at age 12. So yes, forgiveness is everything, and it has nothing to do with the other person or what they did.

Absolutely. Charla, I told her, hey, look at me. as if I were him and say everything that you wish to say to him. And honestly, I was very young. I don’t know why in the world I would do that, other than now I can explain it was a God thing, right? And rage welled up from inside of her. You know, her fury just erupted like a volcano. She began to beat my chest and to scream and to holler. And she would say things like, Why? How could you? I was just a little baby. 

I was just a little girl, a defenseless little girl. And I spoke to her only as God led me. And I know that’s very strange for people to hear, for people to hear someone say, the Lord spoke to me or things like that. And I will honestly say that it wasn’t as if I heard a voice from heaven. what I will say is that it was an urgency, this urgency to speak to her. And as I allowed God to speak through me, he spoke to her. And so at times even answering her excruciating questions as if I were the voice of the one who heard her. And after a long while, Ruth took two steps back. She looked directly into my eyes and she spoke.

And I spoke the most liberating words. truthfully I can say, the most liberating words I’ve ever spoken. And with every ounce of strength that I could muster, I spoke the words and I said, I forgive you. And it was an extraordinary moment, and I felt like a weight that had anchored me down for so many years was finally released.

And at that moment, we prayed together.

And I took all the notebooks that carried all my anger and all my bitterness, and I tore them up. I tore them up one page at a time, representing the past that I now chose to leave behind. It was an intense time of surrender and prayer. I don’t know why God dealt with me in this specific way. I don’t think having had to, and this is just for me, you know, I’m not speaking for everyone, or judging how people will go about it. But in my case, I needed to release,

I needed to take it out, yank it out, so that I could live the life that God was calling me to live. And once we ended our convo, we spent like two hours together. That was all in one, one session, you’re talking about? One big session. Remember, he had to drive back to school. the next day so it had to happen and we had that big discussion and he whips out this card that he had on his back pocket and it was a card to a Christian counselor that somebody else had given him.

You know I’m going to interject here because I believe that was a miraculous moment as well because my mentor about a year and a half almost two years prior had given me this card and I I didn’t know who this man was. And so he says, Hey, Sam, you got to call this guy. You guys are going to hit it off. You guys are going to become friends. He’s an awesome guy and you’re going to love him. Call him and tell him that I told you to call him. But I never did. And I carried that card in my wallet for nearly two years. And so here I am. I take that card out. I don’t know who this man is, but I say, Ruth, tell this man that I told you to call him. And it turns out that he was a Christian, a reputable Christian counselor that worked with her for several years.

So I reached out to him and here I am a college student. I don’t have a job yet. And he was just so gracious and kind and met with me for almost three years on a weekly basis and helped me unpack the abuse, the things that happened to me, my image of self-worth and value as a woman, as a Christian, as just a human being, and regain that and rebuild that in a powerful way. Even before, in the middle of that process, I found the strength, God’s strength, to confront my perpetrator and offered him forgiveness face-to-face. 

I felt like I needed to do that to kind of end it, and there was never that that fear of what will I do if I ever see him, because I had no more fear. He wasn’t my project to fix. He had gone for his own counseling. He had gone for his own therapy. He apologized. He had done his own work, but it wasn’t up to me to fix him. Sometimes we get caught up, especially when it’s family thinking, I got to fix him. I got to fix everything. No, I just gotta work about me, like not take care of him. And I… Lay it at his feet.

You do you, you do your work, right? And then release, relax, release, let it go. Lay it at his feet and it flows, right? It starts flowing.

And I think it wasn’t until then that I, um, I’ve, I’ve become just a totally different person. And my counselor encouraged me, you know, you should consider doing some type of career in counseling because those who are hurt become great wounded healers. So today I can say I’m healed. I’m free. I’ve learned that forgiveness takes time. I didn’t rush it. It takes patience. 

It takes God’s help. It takes people like my hubby. And, you know, to surround myself with strong people who were going to walk with me in that path, so that I could regain the sense of worth, that I have value that I’m God’s creation. And it was just a powerful moment, I finally had peace, and above all, a sense of purpose.

And it sounds like, I mean, it’s a love story as well, right? Because two 21 year olds clueless in doing what they were doing, you know, connecting, but, and I agree with you. Sometimes I will just speak something, you know, a word to someone that it’s not, it’s not, I mean, I’m not hearing a voice, but I’m speaking something that it makes a difference. Right. So that is, word coming through you so often so that’s that it’s empowerful.

I don’t think I’ve had a had to get a tissue on any other my show so I don’t I don’t I don’t you know doesn’t usually affect me like that but today this is that story is tremendous very I’m honored to hear it and to know that, you know, look at you now, you’re beautiful, y’all are a beautiful couple. So that is a love story that God put you guys together and you chose, you know, really Samuel, you took on a broken vessel. 

And in a way, and the past never leaves you. I’m like, you can’t change one thing that happened back then. You can only change how you deal with it in the next step. So what a beautiful love story is. And now you’ve been married how long?

We will make 31 years at the end of this month. We have our 24 year old son.

We want to hear some of that too because when you said your autism, I mean there’s so much with you guys. So you said he was diagnosed early with autism and You know, there’s a lot of controversy around all that and how much, how many more people have it now than they did back in, you know, when I was younger. And so, let’s hear a bit of, do you care to transition into that story a bit? Because I think that’s as powerful as…

We certainly have a whole lot of, we certainly have opinions concerning that and what so much is spoken on the news and on the media.

I’m willing to hear them if you want to say them publicly because I bet you we’re on the same page on that.

Well, what I can say is that if you have a child that is on the spectrum, it’s up to you as a parent or as a loved one for you to put in the work and to try to enter your child’s world to understand your child. To us, autism is not a sickness, is not an illness, it’s a challenge for those who don’t understand it. But once you’re able to get into the world of your loved one, it’s amazing how much they can do, all that they, how they process things and how they, their worldview is just incredible. 

And so sometimes I think we have so much to learn from them. Caleb, our son, is just an amazing young man. He’s completely on his own today. I’ll let Ruth speak a little more about that. But he’s completely independent. He has a wonderful apartment, job, car. Yeah. And so we’re just praying for a beautiful young lady for him.

Other than that, he’s 91, 24.

He’s doing an amazing job and just living his life.

Is he in New Mexico, I mean, in Texas with you guys or did he?

Yes. He has his own place, but yes, he moved over to El PASO recently as well.

But when he was little, you know, when he was born, he seemed fine, no problem. And all of a sudden, at age two, it was almost like a light switch went on and was diagnosed, it took a little bit more than a year to get him diagnosed. And it was when autism was just springing up, it was just like all of a sudden, there was a sea of children born, and they all had autism. 

So, you know, we have our own views as to what caused it. But in that moment, we’re like, you know, I can’t fight what caused it because now it is what it is. And so we just we would pray to God. We took on the challenge and we said, you know, God, we received the son you gave us. But at the same time, we know that you are a powerful God. And the same way you dealt with me when I was young and throughout my entire life and in Sam’s life as well, I know you can do amazing things. And I pray to God for a miracle. We both pray, I shouldn’t say me only.

Charla, we would have, I had an office in Hoboken, New Jersey. And I would have our midweek service. I would have our time of ministry and prayer. We would have counseling at our office, and I would get home late at night, and next morning I was still in my suit and tie, and the sun would come up, and I was still praying and weeping over my son. If you ever want to see a grown man cry, I tell you,

I cried every single day from age two all the way to four days before his eighth birthday. It was just an incredible, way how God dealt with Caleb. You know, he was absolutely normal. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but he was a typical child, growing exactly like expected. And then, like Ruth said, it was almost as if the light switch was turned off. And at some point, he wouldn’t look at you, he wouldn’t respond to you anymore.

He wasn’t speaking, he wasn’t communicating, nothing at all.

He didn’t speak till nearly, what, age eight now. He would say words, he was hyperlexic, so he could read things, although he couldn’t process it. He had hyposensitive hearing. There was just so many incredible things, and I don’t think we have the time for all of that. But I want to say to you that there were times we wouldn’t celebrate his birthday with other people because he would have a tantrum for hours on end. 

And I don’t know if you’re familiar with the echolalia, but he had echolalia, which basically is he would repeat the same word or the same phrase for hours and hours and hours at the same pitch, at the same tone, same intensity, and it was almost like the record would get stuck. And he would cry, he would have the tantrums. all the way from maybe what, age three to age eight, right? We didn’t celebrate his birthday with other people because he couldn’t assimilate, he couldn’t connect, he couldn’t enjoy it. 

And so, we would buy him his gifts and he would unwrap the gifts and play with the ribbons. Box. And then totally ignore the gifts, and we would do something special for him, but totally away from other people. And so I think you could appreciate how difficult it was for us to pastor a church with so many people surrounding you and a child who could not handle being around people.

Being around people, yeah.

Oh, my goodness. So I want to fast forward to four days before his eighth birthday. Again, Caleb, we had never heard Caleb speak in full sentences. He would say words, he would grunt, he would point, but we had never heard him put a string words together coherently. And so, just one good day, four days before his eighth birthday, he walks straight up to me and says, Dad, do you have a pen? And, Charla, I tell you, Ruth looked at me, I looked at her, and we both just began to cry. We just started to cry. And so, I went crazy. We lived in a very big house, and now I went crazy looking for a pen. Now, you know that when you’re looking for a pen when you need one… 

What is that about, right? I ran up every floor till I finally found one, came to him, and I gave him the pen. And so, again, for children who are autistic, they don’t necessarily look at you while you’re speaking with them. So, I held his face, right? And so, he goes over to the kitchen where we had a calendar, and he writes on the calendar on the very day of his birthday, which is November 16th, and he writes, Caleb’s birthday party. Now, again, we were a mess, because we knew that we had just experienced a miracle. This is what we’ve been praying for, right? And so, again, 

I hold his face, and I look at him, and I ask him, Caleb, do you want a birthday party? And, Charla, this is exactly what he said in the same order that he said it. He said, yes, and I’m going to invite my church family my cousins and my school friends. We were floored. We were floored. We had no idea where this came from. We just knew, again, that God had done something. So, again, to make this story short, we were so excited, we went nuts. 

And so now, you know, we went, we got eight little cards so that he could invite his quote-unquote school friends, because he had no friends, you know. And so we’re, We are now preparing and so something that you might learn from us, we are very creative and so at that time, the Madagascar movie was out in the theaters and so I painted and designed 3D characters. Life-size characters and Ruth made that our basement turned it into a jungle and so You know, so now we have four days to prepare his birthday. I would come from church. 

I wouldn’t sleep I was just working right and I And so his birthday was on a Sunday. And so I told him, Caleb, dad has to work today and dad does something called preaching. And so, you know, I’m going to go and I’m going to preach. But once that is done, we’re going to come and we’re going to have your party. And so he was OK with that. And interestingly enough, when we get home, we brought four pizza pies thinking eight kids, they’ll devour the pizza, right? Pizza and ice cream. But when we got home, our cul-de-sac was filled with 52 people waiting to get in. And so we were like, what was going on? So the thing is that the church was just as surprised as we were. They had never heard him speak.

As people were leaving church, he stood at the door and just told people, you’re coming to my birthday party today, right? and literally invited everyone and so as many people as could and were available. So now we have like, oh my God, we have all these people to feed and stuff, but it was unbelievable. He just engaged, we played games. It was an incredible experience. It’s when we really saw the miracle of God in his life. Now, Charla, I’m not gonna say it was like hocus pocus magic and no, we invested everything in our house. every book, every video, every song, every we like music as well. Every instrument was geared toward helping tap into whatever his he was interested in. 

And like I had shared the last time, you know, when you fast forward, now we’re seeing him just do well, better and better and better. We take him to his neurologist after his 11th birthday, and I kept the same neurologist because that was my faith. I said, Lord, I want to hear her tell me. this is a miracle because she diagnosed him when he was a little shy of four years old. And so we go into that room and we’re waiting, we’re anxious. She takes our son and she evaluates him for over three hours. And now we’re like at the edge of our seat. Oh my God, you know, she found something else.

It was right before his adolescence. And so we were told that that children regress once they arrive at their adolescence. And so, we’re biting our nails and we get there and the therapist says, hey, your son has an incredible sense of humor. And again, Charla, anyone who knows a little bit of psychology knows that you bookend, right? You say the nice thing first. And the bad thing. And so I’m telling my wife, wait for it, wait for it. And so at that point, the therapist, she gets watery eyed.

Well, she begins to take out all these files and she starts stacking them because we had to go often. So now she has a mound on her table like this. of all of the evaluations that she had done with her team. And she said, if it wasn’t because I was the one who diagnosed him, I would say you switch this child. 

This is nothing short of a miracle. And that was the word I was waiting for. I wanted to hear that word. It’s nothing short of a miracle. So don’t worry. He might be a little nerdy here and there, but so what? He is going to be a normal child teen he will have a normal adulthood and that’s what we’ve seen we’ve seen God do that we’ve seen God do that with him with just oh my god Charla I could keep you here forever and I will

I’m fascinated and I have to say this because I’ve seen too many miracles not to believe this. If God can create it, he can heal it. That’s my word. And if he can create it, he can heal it. And when you focus on the healing and not what’s wrong, not the dis-ease, but the healing, the vision of who he really is, right? You know, so when I’ve seen it too many times, God, but God, right?

I mean, how else can you describe that? So, what a beautiful thing. And I mean, it seems interesting that it was a flip switch then to the four days before his eighth birthday. Yes. It was another, it was like night and day, right? Night and day, both ends.

The very first day we saw him enjoy other people just like a typical child. The truth is that we stood at a corner and we cried the entire time. My secretary had to take over the party because we were a mess the entire time. But he played, you know, pinned a tail on a donkey. He played musical chairs. He just enjoyed every bit of his party. And we were just so excited to see what God had done. And progressively, again, you know, he went to middle school and middle school. He

I mean, like, just nothing stops, nothing stopped him from being who he wanted to be. I guess, you know, we coach, we do what we do, because we believe with work, with intention, and our faith, obviously, because it’s always led by our faith. anything is possible. Why would God do it that way with our son? And I know so many other families struggle. I’m just grateful. 

And if there are any tools that we can offer to families, we offer it happily and freely and freely share our information because we know that with intentionality, with investing time and energy and working together as a team, we know many families whose kids are on the spectrum where the marriage breaks apart when they’re not working together as a team. So, all of that together, 

we just encourage people to believe, you know, your past, your history doesn’t define who you are just because the doctor says, you know, this is what it’s going to be doesn’t mean it has to be that. And so we’ve always kind of push, push. push through those things, believing in greater things.

And that’s true in both stories. You don’t have to be imprisoned by your past. You can be set free. And that’s what this is all about, right? And just putting in the work investing in yourself and allowing for God to do, I like to say, we do the natural, he does the super, right?

We do the- Exactly. And Jesus said we can do what he did and even more. So, we get this ask, believe, receive. I think that part of it that we, the vision, if we see it as, and you know, you deal with what you have to deal with it and just to If you got a disease, you don’t claim it. Every word matters. Every word matters. And who I say I am is bold, faith, no fear. And I’ve said it for so many years. Who I am is bold, faith, no fear. And then you get robbed at gunpoint, and you’re not fear. and you step towards and say you need love. So, it’s who you say you are, God in you, God lives in you, He is part, He directs you. And so, when we can receive that, when we can really just let relax and release and let God be God, do His work. Absolutely.

So, Charla, Ruth shared a scripture earlier that says, ìPraise be to God, the Father of compassion.î and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. And that’s our desire. That’s what we want to do, both in both spheres, right? Yes, absolutely.

And being able to extend forgiveness and also receive forgiveness when necessary, and also with parents or family members of people who have autism or who are in the spectrum. And again, I think that anyone who has undergone trauma, anyone who’s undergone any kind of trauma can find freedom, can find freedom through forgiveness. God’s healing and redemption is available to everybody, to everyone.

Absolutely. And it is freedom. It is freedom. It is freedom to when you just relax. relax and let let go where we are is all we have this is it right this second we can’t change anything about how we got here So, if you can just relax and be where you are, and they say be present or however you want to say it, and I never got it. I thought it was a great idea, but I never got it. And just, you know, because we can’t change how we got here, but we can change where we’re headed. 

And with speaking a new word, taking a different step, choosing a different path, getting a different idea, you know, whatever it is. Those two stories are in and of themselves bookmakers, right? So how do people find you guys? How do they find you? They don’t have to come to El Paso to find you. So let’s get some of the details out here.

People can find us at EmergeCoachingSolutions.com. And we rebranded and renamed our business last year because we really want to hone in on helping families, helping couples, married couples and churches as well. Just realize that through God and through intentional living and decision making, there is healing for any type of situation. So we are at EmergeCoachingSolutions.com. And right now, if you want to be part of our mailing list, I have a freebie that I’m offering  EmergeCoachingSolutions.com/thrive. And you can download a free 90 day planner to help you align your faith, your family, your business, your goals and life throughout the year.

Yeah, you guys are powerful. I’m so grateful that you would take the time to share your story here and get this word out. You’ve got, you know, people need hope. And that’s my, you know, I like, I don’t know, I’ll have a TV show. I don’t, you know, or show, you know, and it’s about telling people’s stories of overcoming, right? And hope, that always offers hope when you can, Because your past does not define you. Absolutely, absolutely.

Hopefully, we will be writing a collection of our stories of the miracles that God has done. It’s coming soon, so I will share that with you as soon as it’s available. And we’re just wanting to share more so that others can have the same hope that we found.

Back many years ago, 20 something years ago, somebody said, called me a clearing for miracles. They called me, gave me a word that I’m a clearing for miracles. And I’m like, well, I’ll receive that. I don’t know what it means, but I’ll receive it. And so, when you believe in them, you see a lot more of them, right? So that is, don’t you notice that when people, oh, miracles are just coincidences or whatever. I’m like, no, not in my world.

That’s a good point that you bring up because I do believe that. I really, I think people forget to ask. And you know, the BIBLE says, ask and you shall receive, you know. not to ask selfishly, but to ask for things that, you know, there’s nothing wrong. We have a father who loves us, who cares about us. Why can’t we ask him for the things that perhaps for doctors and scientists seems impossible, but we’ve seen time and time and time again that, you know, it is okay to ask and to believe and sometimes even tell God, God help me because I’m asking for this. I’m having a hard time believing, but I’m going to say I believe it, but I need you to help me to believe. And that’s normal.

be real. I mean, God already knows. So, you know, just be real. And, you know, on this point, a lot of times I believe I was raised very fundamentally, and I believe I was not taught that we can do what Jesus did and even more, which is miracles, right? And John 14, 12 is where I, the one place that I tend to hone in on that scripture, but, you know, asking Believing and releasing it because I do believe that this um, and sometimes when we beg I feel like it’s a very jesus wasn’t wimpy. He didn’t go, please, please, please, please, please Please, please, please, please help me in a heal this. No, he goes. Thank you. It’s about gratitude. Thank you. Get up and walk right? Thank you. Have some fish. You know, I mean, it was just, he’s not wimpy. He wasn’t begging God. 

He was thanking him for his power. And we so often negate our prayers. We weaken God’s power when we go, yeah, but you know, it probably never happened or whatever. No, you ask and believe. Expect, I think the word expect should be in there. so you receive. And it’s just, you witness it, I witness it, so why not? Why not you? Why not everyone? Tap into that God in them, that God-given power and believe, believe, believe, believe without Yeah, well, but you know, 

I don’t deserve it or whatever, you know, so we negate the power and what it’s it’s it’s that prayers on its way being answered and you go Yeah, but I probably I probably don’t can’t afford it or you know, whatever it is. It’s it’s we negate Our prayers or we diminish our the power Do you notice that ever? I mean, we diminish the power of our prayers when we go. 

He says he will give you the desires of your heart. Desire, which is the father, the giver. He says he’s going to give you. And I always said in this book, so speak what you want, not what you don’t want. And now I know that the word want is lack. So speak your desires and expect to receive miracles and just act as if, act as if it’s already happening and look at you guys are so perfectly powerful in all of that.

We do want to be careful, Charla, to, you know, the way that God dealt with Ruth is not necessarily the same way he will deal with everyone. And it’s not to say that someone else tells you what you must do, right? This is scripture. We are called as God’s followers, as Christ’s followers, to forgive. 

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. It doesn’t mean that you go back to the way things were and you have to go suffering it through. It’s to say that forgiveness, at least the way that we share forgiveness, is a very selfish thing. It’s for you. It’s not for the other person, it’s for you, all right? And so, you know, the desire would,

I would suppose, would always be to find reconciliation, but sometimes that’s not possible, and the BIBLE tells us where… Or recommended. Yeah, and, you know, the BIBLE tells us to… Whereas it depends on you. right? And so, as it depends on you, you make sure that you’re doing what Scripture says, you forgive, right? Reconciliation takes two people. It takes two people with soft hearts to come to the table and for one to accept that forgiveness, one to extend forgiveness, the other to accept that forgiveness, and in order for there to be reconciliation, then that person needs to find the ways to build that trust. 

And the way that I like to share is the same way that Jesus has done for us. We like to quote John 3, 16, right? And we say, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. What does that mean? That he’s already forgiven the world. Everyone that walks this world has already been forgiven. He’s made the way for them, but it takes that next step of reconciliation, right, for us to come and say,

 I accept, right? That’s what we do. We accept Jesus Christ, right? We accept his forgiveness. And we say, we’re going to live for you. We’re going to do what it takes to make that amends. And so we don’t want to, you know, when sharing our story, we don’t want to give the impression that, hey, this is the way that God does it for everyone. But it’s to say that if you can find forgiveness, you can go from bitter to better. Right.

So I love that you brought that up, because this is my T90 little book, 25 minute audible. candy bar hugs, it doesn’t take much to make a difference. In this book, I quote it all the time, but one of the things I have in here, because I was like, unconditional love, unconditional love, and I finally said, I wrote in here, unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, not unconditional boundaries. 

So that, I was like, you know, I never want somebody to think that they have to stay in a bad relationship or an abusive place, that’s not what the unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness has to do. So not unconditional boundaries, meaning you can forgive and never have to confront that person in person if it doesn’t work in that situation. 

So I think that that’s a very simple way of saying what you just said, you know, you know take you’ve got a Don’t don’t stay in danger. Don’t you know stay in a bad situation? So is that I think that’s kind of what you were just Qualifying I would say qualifying your story.

It doesn’t certainly it never happens the same for any two people, but you you’re And I’m so glad you remembered to bring that up because I think that’s a huge exclamation point. You do not have to stay in an abusive or bad relationship or even ever speak to that person again and they may be dead and you can’t, whatever.

In the same way with parents or loved ones of children with autism, you know, it’s not that, hey, you don’t have faith, that God didn’t do it for you the way he did it for our son, and, you know, you must be doing something wrong. No, you know, God worked with us in that particular way. But God will work with you as you have faith in Him and as you allow Him. And so we don’t want to kind of give the impression that, you know, if God doesn’t do it for your son the way He did it for ours or your daughter, then… You can’t compare, right?

You can’t compare. And I do believe that there are, I know that there’s some energy, there’s healing modalities out there that are making improvements in the autistic uh… world as well so you know i i personally have uh… witness some of that too so healing is is uh…

God, if he can make it, you can heal it. We literally stepped down from the pulpit for six years so that we could dedicate. I went from making a lot of money to making zero and living on a teacher’s salary so that I could spend that time with him. And we, you know, we traveled the world. We went on mission trips together so that he could see how the other, you know, other people live. 

And so God really worked in his life even through those uh trips and and today he is all that he is because god is good god is faithful and because two parents decided to be on a mission right we were on a mission to see our son uh well and and uh and also to work with his eternal destiny right we wanted for him to come to know jesus and so uh we we took the time you know and and uh and again not everyone has that’s that is a that’s a miracle in and of itself most

you know, we do all we can do, you know, just to get through life. And I had three kids and I had people that had more than, I mean, whoa, it’s a lot to, so, so thank you for having emergecoachingsolutions.com. Let people find you and you can encourage, I can tell that your heart is to just encourage and, and have, offer shoulders, offer, uh, you know, an ear and to make a difference for all of us that are, you know, we’re all searching for something, right? 

We’re all, so many people have a God-shaped hole in their heart that, you know, and don’t really know and have resources or to understand all that. So you guys, thank you so much.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to share. Every opportunity we have, we are just laser focused. We do want to bring hope to people to know that there is a way and we both coach individually in groups and couples and can help guide people. through those steps to understand how do I do this? How do I get to the other side of this? And that’s our passion.

Well, I appreciate you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We’ll be on podcast in a week or so. And YouTube, charlaanderson.com is where you can find my shows every week. I’m going to continue on a different platform. But every week, I’m going to have the Charla Anderson show, Collector and Connector of Fascinating People.

So thank you for joining us today. We’ll see you next week. Thank you.

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About  Ruth & Samuel Vazquez

 Hello, I’m Ruth Vazquez, a Life Purpose Coach, Educator, Minister & Pastor’s wife I currently reside in El Paso, Texas and I help women across the U.S. break free from overwhelm and step into a life of clarity, confidence, and freedom. I know the weight of juggling it all—ministry, career, family, and personal struggles—because for over 30 years, I’ve lived it. Leading in full-time ministry, building a career in education, and managing the demands of family life taught me firsthand what it takes to rise above the chaos and step into God’s best. That’s why I offer three transformational coaching experiences: a dynamic group setting for growth and connection, a three-month one-on-one journey for deep transformation, and a one-day intensive for women ready to break through their biggest hurdles fast. I’m here for Christian women in leadership who are ready to stop striving, find focus, and start thriving. If that’s you, let’s connect—your breakthrough starts today!

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