Every. Word. Matters!
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Introduction
Good, beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (& EVERYONE is Fascinating!), especially you.
Today’s my Charla’s chat, my solo Wednesday. And here we go. Today, you’re going to get 31 daily practices. We’re going to start this journey with my book that was published in 2023 on my 70th birthday, Split Second Transformation: Change Your Words, change your life, 31 daily practices. And we’ll get through some of those chapters today. But first,
We’re going to take our 22-second mini vacation. We’re going to breathe in some calm for seven seconds, hold for four seconds, and breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. So join me, please. Let’s breathe in our calm. Hold. Relax. Release. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Gratitude is the key. There are three chapters on gratitude in this little book, Split Second Transformation. I just had ta hought, you know, back in the beginning of my show in 2023, I read
Candy Bar Hugs. It doesn’t take much to make a difference. It’s a 25-minute read on Audible, and it’s a tiny book with big messages— unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, not unconditional boundaries. One of the quotes I use all the time was in that book. So today, I am going to read from my autographed copy, by grandbabies’ autograph. Oh, yeah, I’m using my autographed copy of my grandbabies today. So really, I’m just going to dive into some of these words here, right?
So initially, when I was writing this, I completed Candy Bar Hugs in 2017 and self-published it in December 2017. In 2018, I began writing Split-Second Transformation. I didn’t complete it, but by the end of that year and by January of 2019, I had written 16 of these 31 chapters. What stopped me from reading further or writing further? I don’t know.
But it might’ve been just for such a time as this, because on my 70th birthday in 2023, November 30th, I actually launched this book and it was a struggle for me to write some of those chapters at the end. I don’t know why, I don’t know why, but I do believe it’s timely and important because every word matters and that’s the truth.
So I’m going to have to have my glasses on for this, I’m sure, and I’d wish I had a little better lighting over here for this, but Donna Blevins wrote the foreword. And guess what? Tom Ziegler, Paula Fellingham, Nancy Matthews, and LeAnn Lyon, some amazing people did some endorsements for me, so much so that is just great. This is an important work for me and I believe every word matters. So I’m going to just tell you a little bit. Let’s just start with chapter one: change your words, change your life. Hmm. Isn’t that interesting? So words matter. Every word matters. You’ve heard it. But do you really believe it. Actually, you create your life with your words.
I’ll give you some simple tests to begin proving it to yourself. When you say the words, I’m so tired, or I’m beat, or I’m exhausted, which you probably are in that moment, if you change that one word to I’m refreshed, I’m energized, I’m pumped, something kind of magical happens. Your body doesn’t necessarily change in that moment, or does it?
But somehow there’s a slight shift in your mind, in your mood. Even if you don’t believe it, it still works in one split second. It’s not your thoughts, it’s are your feelings, are your circumstances that create your life, it’s your words. Saying something like I’m always late or this job sucks or I hate people who will just bring you more late, sucky jobs, and people to hate. It’s a universal law. Upset draws upset. Love attracts love. That’s really a strong word, hate, right? So hate attracts more of the same. You truly become what you speak. Yes, it may feel like you’re lying to yourself. Actually, you’re training yourself to only speak what you want, not what you don’t want. Yes, change your words, change your life in one split second. I’m gonna comment on this because since this book was published, I was reminded about the definition of the word want. The definition of the word want, one of the definitions as extreme lack.
So since then, since I remembered that and understand that I use the word, I would change this now to speak what you desire, not what you don’t. And the reason, think about this, speak what you desire, which means of the father, de, of, sire, the father or the giver.
Speak what you desire and you may receive the desires of your heart. That will be in a subsequent version when I update this book someday. These are tiny chapters. Look at this. Can you see it? Many of you are listening and not watching, but they’re just one little page chapters here.
Speak what you want, not what you don’t want. I mean, oops, speak what you desire, not what you don’t. That’s critical because every word matters. So chapter two, we’re going to go with chapter two already. Be still and know. You can meditate anywhere, anytime. In just a few seconds, a few breaths, standing in line, driving in a meeting.
There’s a great misunderstanding about meditation, having to force concentration and clear all your thoughts, which is nearly impossible. The incessant chatter, I call mine Charla’s Chattbox or Charla’s Chatter, never shuts up. And if you don’t think you have a voice in your head, it’s the one that just told you, I don’t have a voice in my head.
When I first heard that, it cracked me up, because everybody’s going, what voice, what voice? And it’s like, oh, that one, yeah. And it can only say what you’ve already experienced, intent on keeping you safe in your past. Instead of trying to get rid of all the thoughts and emotions, let them just float through like clouds, smiling at them like an inquisitive child.
while giving your chatterbox a job to do. Ask your chatterbox to please watch your breath. Be aware of your breath, breathing in and out, in and out. Let the thoughts come and go in the background while you’re focused on your breath, which keeps you in the now. You can always start with the words, thank you.
Gratitude opens all the doors into abundance in one split second. I envision bright light. I envision bright lightness when I breathe in calmness, relax, and then release tightness with love and gratitude as I exhale. Focus on your mind’s eye between your eyebrows. That’s your pineal gland. That’s your third eye. It’s there.
and it has all knowledge, not all that’s in the book. Even two or three breaths can center you and let your heart hear what your spirit wants you to know. Practice, breathe in calm for seven seconds, hold for four and breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. It’s a 22 second mini vacation. Where have you heard that before?
Practicing split-second meditation throughout the day will help you stay grounded and intentional on what is important amid all the noise out there. Be still. Breathe. Know. Chapter 2. Be still and know. I know if you listen to me much, you’ve heard a lot of this stuff because I kind of wrote my own stuff, right? Chapter 3.
Chapter three, we have win, win, win. When you enter any conversation or transaction or disagreement with a win, win, win attitude, there are no losers. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if empathy and perspective and understanding were the norm in our relationships? More cooperation and collaboration with less competition still raise the tide so we can all win. We’ll raise the tide, goodness. I need bigger glass, stronger glasses. More cooperation and collaboration with less competition will raise the tide so that we can all win. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet, plenty of clients for everyone, plenty of friends for everyone.
This, and in this country with all the noise, kindness and compassionate service is the new competitive advantage. Hmm, thought about that? Kindness and compassionate service is a competitive advantage. The vast majority of disagreements are really over just a few details. Often it’s our pride, not the actual issue that wants to win, win at all costs.
It may take some effort, but choose to look for the common ground. Choose to respect the other person as a created human being with their own perspectives and challenges, just like you. Let’s change the Jerry Springer mentality of, I’m right, you’re wrong, or I’m going to hit you over the head and sue you. Totally pathetic. Pathetic. As my mama said, always take the high road. And when it’s hard, always take the high road. Always allow the other to save face without demeaning or humiliating or gossiping. Yes, having a win-win-win world is possible. You may not be able to change the world, but you can change your world, which changes the world. And you can do that by choosing to stand for the win-win-win in every situation.
Then we all win. It’s a choice, a conscious practice, or a split-second decision to choose win, win, win. Then, the bottom line is that we can all win with a win, win, win attitude. I’m gonna tell you a little story about win, win. My sister Shirley, my late sister, owned a Century 21 office on the square in the tiny town near here. For decades, as a realtor and broker, it’s pretty unheard of not to have litigation now and then. Her mindset was always, how can we find the win, win, win? Nobody is just devastatingly lost. I love that.
She rarely, I don’t think she ever actually had a lawsuit that went to court and had all the, drama, you know, around all that. She found the win-win and she loved people through. I just love that about my late sister Shirley Hooks; you know, she left a lot of good legacy around with me and all of us. Sorely, sorely missed. Love you, Shirley. Thanks for watching over me.
Chapter four. Once again, isn’t it kind of fun, these tiny chapters? What if you had this by your bed or on your desk and just kind of picked it up and read some of these every day? Oh my God. So this chapter four is called, Isn’t That Interesting? Isn’t That Interesting? Consider adding a simple question whenever you are confronted by a differing opinion or belief or attitude. When you feel defensiveness or anger or even just disagreement arising, take a breath and ask yourself, isn’t that interesting? If someone says the world is round and you know it’s flat, instead of reacting with how you’re feeling, simply ask questions like, isn’t that interesting? Tell me more. How did you come to that
How did you come to that opinion or that conclusion? Asking questions opens the door for some real conversation, some discourse, discussion, and even learning something new. It opens the door for further evidence to validate or disprove the belief.
You don’t have to change your beliefs or convince others to change theirs to simply listen. What I’ve learned to say, especially if the subject is heated or even if it isn’t, we must have different sources of information, which leaves the conversation on neutral ground.
With seven plus billion people in the world, each with their own beliefs, we can have a much more civil society if we just took some time to get to know more about why someone believes a certain way. I’m certain that no one has ever changed their beliefs by force or coercion. You can agree to disagree, leaving behind the sense that they’ve been really heard and respected. I encourage you to give up the need to be right for the sake of peace. You can’t change the world but you can change your world, which changes the world in one split second by simply asking. Isn’t that interesting? Change your words, change your life. Don’t you think the world would be a better place?
Do you remember before the internet, when we actually had discussions and discourse and agreed to disagree, handshake, and like, you know, find the win-win, whatever. But listening with understanding, you know, people just want to be heard. This is the bottom line. Everybody just wants to be heard about what they’re saying and perhaps what they’re not saying. That’s important to me. And I’m sure to you as well.
That’s just one way of diffusing. Isn’t that interesting? Tell me more. Why don’t we learn more about how people got to their opinion? Just a good question, right? Good questions. Good questions. I like good questions. Our brain to think a little more. Okay, here we go with chapter five already.
I probably would just do six chapters, the first six, because then the next three start with the gratitude. Yep, yep, yep. Okay, the word, oh, the, T-H-E, one word, T-H-E, three-letter word. There is one word that continues to perpetuate prejudice and hatred.
I was told this by the late director of the Anne Frank Foundation, my friend Cornelius Salk, the man that Otto Frank, Anne’s father, entrusted the missing eight pages of her diary. They were survivors of the Holocaust. Otto Frank said that there is one three-letter word that causes so much division and prejudice in our world. The word is the, T-H-E.
Can you even fathom what he’s talking about there. But when we talked about this, and I was in, Anne Frank, I was in a meet geese’s home. She’s the lady who did Anne Frank and the family. I got to know her. I was in her home on my retirement flight, my retirement trip in 2008. She was 99 years old at that time. So what we learned here though, is
What he said is, we would say, the Jews. And the Holocaust setting, right? The teenagers, the Christians, the homeless, the lawyers. That one may be true. Just kidding. It’s an old lawyer joke. That’s what I wrote in the book. Can you begin to see how by putting individual people into groups and defining the group as a whole, as good or bad or wrong or right or worthy or unworthy, we begin to dehumanize the individual and see them as all the same. It’s really a very brilliant point and tragic. Hitler was able to turn friendly neighbors into the enemy by using propaganda, newsreels. The Jews who had been friends and neighbors in their communities became a group to be feared. Is it happening still? Take a stand against prejudice. We are all in this world together. Everyone bleeds red as one race, the human race. Choose love over fear. Remove the label from your vocabulary. In a split second, one word can change your perspective.
Shift from the, to we, the individual with empathy. That’s a big one. It’s a hard one to describe sometimes, but don’t you see, have you been ever been a part of a collective that had a bad connotation? It doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t define who you are.
Not it, but the group gets a definition, right? So let’s watch that and let’s change it. Chapter six. Yes, and another smaller chapter, smallest, smaller one. Okay, yes, and. Here’s a way to help you diffuse every disagreement before it becomes an argument. Wouldn’t you like that? With some practice and changing just two words.
You can maintain your stance and stay calm. For example, when your teen hasn’t taken out the trash and has a dozen excuses, calmly say, yes, aunt, I hear you. And so let me say that again. So yes. And yes, I hear you. And your stance. The trash is still here. They may say, yeah, but with a dozen more excuses, and you calmly say, yes, I hear you and understand you’re upset. And the trash is still here. No matter how many yeah, buts you hear, yes, and removes the emotions from the communication.
Saying yeah, but escalates the arguments and diminishes your power. Yeah, but you did this and yeah, but you did that. Yeah, but yeah, it just escalates it all up, right? Saying yes, acknowledges that you’re listening and means your stance is firm. My stance is, yeah, this is powerful. Yes, I understand there are issues and you promised me a raise.
Yes, I understand you are tired and the dishes still need washing. Yes, I realize it’s a special party and you’re still grounded. Doesn’t it sound strong? It’s not about, excuse me, it’s not about control. It’s not about being right. It exhibits strength of character. I’m guessing that this one practice is more impactful in daily conversations for those that use it than most of the rest.
Straightforward communication. What a concept. Yes, it takes practice and it’s worth it in a split second. Two words that will change your life. This has been a very powerful, when I remember to use it, very powerful. It’s like everybody wants to be heard. So it’s not escalating an argument. Your team is like, yes, and.
You’re still grounded. Yes, I hear you. I know that party’s important. And maybe, and you’re still grounded. And perhaps you should have thought about that last week before disobedience. Anyway, those are just some thoughts that I have. And it’s important enough for me to put in a book.
So this split-second transformation, change your words, change your life, 31 daily practices. I’ve got the next three chapters, and I’ll do this next month on my solo, Charla’s Chat. We’ll start with the gratitude chapters, because it’s part one, part two, and part three. They’re completely different chapters, and gratitude is the key to everything. Gratitude opens the door to everything else. When you give thanks, thank you, thank you, thank you.
It changes your state. Even if you don’t like where you are, where else do you have to be than where you are right now? Be there and know that you are loved. You’re loved. You’re loved exactly who you are and where you are. You’re loved by God. Nothing you can do to be loved more or less. I don’t know if I’ve got this stuff in the book or not. I don’t remember, but I do know that this is something that I’d like to say every
weak or very often is that no matter who and where you are, love yourself enough, love yourself enough to receive the love of God and the love of others. Love yourself enough because every word matters, every thought matters. If you don’t like where you are, right this second,
You can’t change how you got here, but you can change the next step where you’re headed, right? So this is Charla Anderson. Charla Anderson show, Collector and Connector are fascinating people and everyone is fascinating. And I’m already almost halfway through season three. Well, not quite, probably a quarter way, but who would have thought? I’m here. I’m just, I’m grateful that somehow or another we’re beginning to get some attention
So would you please just like, and subscribe on my YouTube channel, go to charlaanderson.com, the way to find it, the easiest way, go to charlaanderson.com and slash podcast or charlaanderson.com and click on podcasts. And all of my shows are in there and in a blog format, as well as on YouTube to click on. So would you do that?
I would really appreciate that, getting a little bit more. I’ve never been one to care about numbers and such, but it does affect things, right? So if you don’t mind, I appreciate that like. I’m also gonna say one more thing. I tell you what, I’ve run across Zenzino, a product that every person on the face of the earth can take, like babies to, I call babies to ages.
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Amazing products, amazing people, and amazing timing for such a time as this. This is Charla Anderson signing off this week. And thank you. Thank you. Thank you for paying attention, listening, sharing, and just being there for me. Reach out, reach out. If you ever have any questions, I’m an encourager, right? I’m a mindset coach.
I will help you get those words straightened out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And don’t forget choose joy.
I mentioned my book:
“Split-Second Transformation~Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices”
Get my first book:
“Candy Bar Hugs~It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference”
Get Zinzino ‘Test-Based Nutrition’
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Reach out to Charla for more information on this product. 100% of people on the planet CAN take it. 97%-99% texted SHOULD take it. Get your TEST. Are YOU in the Safe Zone?
Are YOU in the Safe Zone? Delve deeper: CharlaAnderson.com/Zinzino.
Watch a casual 15 minute video:
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Dr Rik’s (5 min) Intro video:
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VIDEO: Art Williams – JUST DO IT SPEECH – motivational and inspirational https://youtu.be/G05QtiHP1lI?feature=shared
BOOKS: All You Can Do is All You Can Do, Art Williams https://amzn.to/3Fh3Oe5
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I mentioned my ‘I AM Affirmations for Living a Joyful Life of Intentional Significance’. Please email me for a copy:
Charla@CharlaAnderson.com
I mentioned my ‘Courageous Clarity Coaching: Inspiring Women (and men) of Faith to Find Their Voice, Cultivate Their Confidence & Leave a Legacy of Love’. 12 Weeks to Courageous Clarity
Reach out for more information.
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Howdy, Charla Anderson from Fort Worth, TEXAS 🤠
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Your INSPIRED Speaker;
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‘Candy Bar Hugs~It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference‘ ;
‘Split-Second Transformation~Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices‘ &
‘The Change~Insights Into Self Empowerment‘ Book Series with Les Brown (ASK about the credibility factor of being in a book like this!)
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I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming, and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torchbearer, a personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, a Published Author, and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion for living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.
On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, princess-to-queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.
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