Charla’s Chat ‘The Four Agreements’

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Introduction

Good, beautiful day, you beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson show collector and connector of fascinating people, and everyone is fascinating, especially you. I can tell you the book I’ve recommended the most for the almost 20 years is the 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

It’s a life changing book. It is an impactful book. It is a small book full of wisdom. And we’re just going to scratch the surface of what this book is about. But first, of course, we’re going to do the 22 second mini vacation. We’re going to breathe in some calm for 7 seconds we’re going to hold for 4 seconds. We’re gonna breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. Can you join me and let’s just breathe in some calm. Here we go…

Hold, Relax, Release. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

You know, gratitude is the key to a satisfied life in everything. Give thanks for everything. Give thanks. Does that mean everything, absolutely everything you can find something to be thankful for? And if you would start writing them down, finding something, even if you’re in the gutter. Can you just be thankful you have fingernails, you know something. So we want to be thankful in everything. Give thanks. And today I’m thankful that you’re joining me that you’re listening in, and that we’re ending up season 2 next month. Can you believe it?

And I’m going to talk today about the 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I ran across this book. It was recommended to me, maybe almost 20 years ago, and I went to half price books. I went to look for this book, and it was in the New Age section. Oh, my gosh! I almost didn’t buy it, because I was still in a very fundamental mindset, that. And I’ve since learned that, you know, if God is love, he can’t be not loved, that He loves us all, no matter where we are on this planet and who we think we are. He loves us, no matter what.

And so when you can take some resources and understand that different perspectives doesn’t mean right or wrong, good or bad.

I just heard someone else speak of this this week. But I learned years ago, regarding religion – meaning do again go back into bondage. Religion, the god in a box, man-made rules and regulations. My God is better than your God, and my rules are better than your God, and these you know, all these restrictions to keep us in control. Right?

So to talk about the 4 Agreements. So this little book, I feel like that. If we could understand and every one of us act a little bit more along the lines of what this, the depth of meaning in this book of the 4 agreements I’ll just speak them.

 The 1st agreement be impeccable with your word. What does that mean?

The second agreement don’t take things personally.

The 3rd agreement don’t make assumptions, and the 4th agreement always do your best. Now that sounds pretty simple, and if you ever look at the book, those are all written on the front inside cover.

What do they mean? It sounds so simple, and they are very simple to say and to consider. But honestly, if we were all impeccable with our word and we didn’t take things personally then what? And we didn’t make assumptions. And then we always said our best.

What kind of world would this be?

What if we all started spreading that word? I I just think it’s amazing that this these 4 agreements can change the world. It changed my life for sure. So, being impeccable with your word.

I will be introducing you to Brenda Byers of the prosper in all things Christian women’s business coach of extraordinaire.

She’s talked about being impeccable with your word for 3 weeks, each one of them for 3 weeks. I just discovered that. And I felt when I would mention that it was interesting to me, because when I first mentioned that book to her, she goes, “look, I did this 12 week study,” and so I started listening. I haven’t heard it all. But I started. I listened to a couple of them and, I didn’t know this. I didn’t know this about the word impeccable, but she brought it up that the definition of impeccable.

Like impossible is not, and the peccable comes from the word root word. You know she talks about it, but it’s not sin and be impeccable with your word is to not sin and not sinning with your words. And the words is the most powerful things we have. You hear me say it all the time. Every word matters, every word matters. Where’s that book? That book split second transformation. Change your words, change your life. 31 daily practices every word matters. Be impeccable with your word and the word sin. According to Brenda Byers, that I heard anything that you do go that you do. That goes against yourself. because you know we are the child of the Most High God. He lives in us, and when we speak we need to know that we are speaking.

I am, is our truth. Our aim is who God is in man I am is the breath of life, and every word matters, and God created the world with His. I am, he said. Let there be light, and there was light. So we create with our words. It’s something that I just believe we were kind of taught that words don’t matter, and but they do every single word matters, and  I’ve witnessed the what I would call the downside of, you know, profanity and things like that. It seems like it’s so common now. But do you realize we’re cursing ourselves?

When my friend kicked her stool and she said “that damn stool,” and I was like, what? Why are you cursing my stool? What if we started adding, you know, a sense of pride in our in our words and ourselves? And it lifts us. And I was overhearing in a conversation. And I think would have only been, you know, 1 min conversation instead of 5, if they’d had taken out all the F words they were using, and all the you know, the cursing words. I’m not judging. I don’t. I don’t have any judgment. I’m not judging about it. I’m just considering that we’re lowering our standards. We’re lowering what who we are and what we what we get. by cursing. I just I would love to. I’d like to see we start having a higher standard for ourselves.

I think our world would start lifting a little bit more positively. But you know I’m outrageously optimistic, of course, and it will. But the 4 agreements be impeccable with your word. What does that look like?

Hmm! What if we actually spoke every word matters we spoke. What we want, not what we don’t want is the way I used to say it, and it’s a new way to consider, because want the word  want. This comes from my Brenda Byers as well, even though I’ve heard it before. But she reminded me, want means extreme lack.

So if every word matters. What if we shifted that one word want to desire desire? So desire is of the sire, the father of the Father. So he says He gives us the desires of our heart.

Who doesn’t want that?

He gives us the desires of our heart. If we are, if we speak what we desire and eliminate the words that cut off that flow of what’s what we speak coming to us. We create our world with our words, it starts with thoughts, it includes feelings, but when we speak it, let there be light, and there was light. When we speak it we start the flow to receive it unless we negate it.

I desire this a great job, you know, but I probably won’t get one or I don’t have the qualifications. I desire to go on a vacation, or I desire a new mate, or I desire this great house… and then that you know I’m not really worth it. You know, when we cut off and give, got an out, so to speak it really, I believe, literally because they’ve proved this scientifically, that there is a flow. It’s all energy, and we start bringing things to us when we speak what we desire.

And my way, speak what you desire, relax, release, let it go, ask, believe that it’s already on its way. Expect that it’s coming. Receive with gratitude and blessings and our prayer is never please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. No begging wimpy, wimpy prayers. No, no, no.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you that it’s already on its way.

That is a powerful stance, and then relax, release. Let it go, lay it at his feet, just expect, and what enjoy your life and up things will be coming to you because you’re speaking what you desire. Be impeccable with your word that to me also means being honest, you know. Speak what you mean. Say what you mean, mean what you say. It’s called integrity, honoring your word is integrity, and you know we all mess up. So when we make a promise.

We say we’re going to do something then we don’t do it. Nobody’s perfect, right? We don’t want perfection. We want honesty, we want authenticity. So when we mess up, look over there, go back. I’m so sorry I made an agreement with you. I didn’t honor that agreement. So I’m going to make a new agreement and the new agreement, and then we honor our word.

Impeccable with your words. I mean, don’t sin against yourself. Don’t make begin begin recognizing that your words they are who you are. It’s your character. It’s your integrity to me. It’s extraordinarily important that we honor our words.

The second agreement don’t take things personally. Oh, I just am so over the spirit of offense, I feel like people are wearing a chip on their shoulder. They’re waiting to be offended. They expect to be offended.

They, you know, get huffed up about being offended, and you offended me, and I’m going to have a, you know, I used I call it the Jerry Springer mentality. I’m going to hit you over the head and sue you. So what if we began recognizing that we don’t have it? It’s not all about us. We don’t have to take it. Personally, we don’t have to take anything personally. and when we can start living that way

Oh, what peace it is! I remember being able to say Get, I mean, I was given this word. You don’t have to strive. You don’t have to be. You don’t have to strive so hard you don’t have. Just be just be wonderful words, just be. And and when that came to me I started. I gave up that I needed to know. I don’t have to know why somebody did or said something I don’t have to know. I don’t have to know.

I don’t have to know much of anything about what’s going on. I just get to be. I get to be still. I get to listen to my spirit, everything in the universe, everything from let there be light to the infinity is already in our DNA. So when we turn off our devices for a second, and listen and be still and know and be, we already know what we need to know. And if we start listening to our gut and our instinct. it’s always right. It’s always right. If you’re listening. If you learn to listen to the right voice. You will never go wrong, and then you have that bold faith of stepping towards it. You will never be wrong. and it’s not about being right or wrong.

It’s about listening to yourself, listening to that still, small voice that is inside of you, your instinct and your gut, and don’t, and then you can walk in this confidence in this piece that don’t have to be offended by anything anybody else does. Nobody can hurt your feelings, or offend you, or make you angry without your permission. Mean, wear a shield, wear your shield of protection, of confidence, we’re the shield, and when somebody you know, tries to break through that.  You can just, you know. Kinda no, thanks, I do. I choose not to receive that.  and it’s usually a mirror. Rarely does somebody say something that is about you. It’s almost always about them who they are and who they see themselves to be. So. Bullies are victims. You’ve heard me say before. Bullies are victims, too. They come from, you know, hurt people, hurt people. They don’t love themselves enough to know how to love others how to treat others the way they should be treated right. So I’m just, you know. Don’t take things personally. I was just talking with a little 4th grader recently, and she said, she’s been bullied so much, and this and that, and the other. And I told her a little bit about that. I said, what if you put a shield of protection?

What if you saw that other person as somebody that’s been has a situation at home, or is, is, doesn’t love themselves enough to know how to love others or to treat you, and maybe in a quiet time you could possibly just address that and go. Hey! What’s going on with you? That you, you know, feel the need to hurt people, you know, because everybody witnessing everybody witnessing a bully knows that they’re a bully, and they don’t. They don’t love themselves enough to, I mean, I don’t think they put it that way, generally speaking, but bullies are just. I don’t keep talking about bullies, but the people that that do that that hurt other people that want to have revenge, whatever it is silly. It’s just silly, and when you step back and look at it. And what peace that passes understanding when you don’t take things personally. why not?

Let’s just practice that, you know. So they said something. Oh, well, oh, well. What are we going to do about it? Huh? So we can just relax and release. And this is Matt Kahn said, let them be a master is one who blesses you. Just say, be blessed be blessed be blessed if people are hurting you, or you feel like their intention is bad towards you.

May you be blessed, unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, not unconditional boundaries. You don’t have to stay in their presence. But be blessed! May you be blessed! Our world would be a lot less dramatic, wouldn’t it? Which brings me to the 4th 3rd agreement: don’t make assumptions. Oh, my goodness! Can you think? Wouldn’t your life be well? I mean, we assume so much instead of just taking things at face value.

And and you know, living through that assumption, we assume they cut us off because they’re jerks. Maybe they needed to go to the bathroom worse than you do, you know? Who knows? Why do we want to assume the worst?

Why do we tend to assume the worst? Why do we attend that. They’re doing it to us when they’re just doing what they do, making assumptions adds so much drama to your life. I love that I found this book a long time ago. The 4 agreements that I get to that I’ve been able to live pretty much along this line, you know you can cut me off. You can be rude. You can hurt my feelings that try to hurt my feelings. And I’ve said recently to someone that you just can’t hurt my feelings. I’m you. Do you say what you got to say? You do what you got to do?

I will just continue to roll with the flow roll with the flow. so I don’t. I don’t choose to engage in with those that try to come at me or hurt me, or I don’t assume that that’s what they’re doing. I might. I tend to assume the opposite generally. Huh!

They just don’t. They don’t. They don’t know any better. whatever. So don’t those 3 be impeccable with your word. Don’t take things personally. Don’t make assumptions. I assume you are. You know you’re gonna you’re gonna let me just use this example. I was. I’ve been in network, marketing, off and on all my adult life, give or take, and people would think that I was just talking to somebody, and they would think that I was trying to recruit them away from them.

Never would cross my mind to do that never would cross my mind. We’re talking about Israel because I had a bag that said something about Israel. We’re talking about my trip to Israel. And I got really, you know, yelled at because they thought I was trying to recruit their people.

I was with Mary Kay, and they had a whole go give thing. I gave all my people back anybody that had a customer, anybody that had a consultant I would gate. Hey! You go buy from that consultant because I believe in the go give never crossed my mind. I don’t have that in me. but it’s a mirror, because they did. You know you think about that. They assumed that I did, because that’s who they are, not who I am.

That is a good way to say it. They assumed that I am, but it’s really them right. What do you think? Don’t make assumptions? Just be real. Just be real. Be authentic.

You hear me say it all the time about the intensity is the new sexy. There’s no nobody wants fake stuff anymore. We’re tired of fake news. We’re tired of fake, you know. I’m actually kind of tired of fake eyelashes, but that’s me. Oh, just chatting on my own here. Sorry about that.

The 4th agreement always do your best. Hmm! What does that mean to you?

Always do your best, be impeccable with your word? Always do your best. What if we did? What if everything we do we do with excellence. We do with Ex just doing our best, because it’s the right thing to do, my mama said. Take the high road, and when it’s hard. I added this, and when it’s hard. take the high road. It doesn’t matter.

Find your values. Find your set point. find your set point that your value is, I choose. It’s all choice. I choose to take the high road. I choose not to get sucked into the drama. I choose to do my best. I don’t want to talk. We’re not even going to go there about perfection, because I think that there’s a you know, we think perfection is attainable which it isn’t so. What if we gave up the need to be perfect, perfect, and just? Do your best. Strive for excellence. do your best release it to the world with grace.Yeah, do your best.

Always do your best. and I guess that means and I’m pick up after yourself. Don’t leave one thing for someone else to clean up after you, not one, and if you do, shame on you.

Wipe up after yourself, wipe up that sink, play. Take your cart back if don’t throw litter on the ground, and you might even, on airplanes, take the stuff out of the seat pocket. Throw it away. It’ll save one human being as an initial step I get. I take it to an extreme sometimes, and hotel rooms. If I’m by myself in a hotel room. Often I’m very they walk in, and all they have to do is change the sheets, and barely, you know, I only use one trash can. I’m just aware that there’s another human being on the face of the earth that’s going to have to come in and clean up after me. So I take it to an extreme.

Perhaps I don’t know. I just I kind of like. Wow, they’re going to come in and go. Oh, this one’s not going to take long. definitely want them to change the sheets, I’m you know, wipe the sink all that, clean the shower, but it but they don’t have a mess.

They don’t walk into a mess. Small examples always do your best and enjoy that. I feel like these were example 4 agreements in this book, and they’re you know they’ve his son has written more, I mean, there is more, so much more in depth.  And I’m going to tell you. I asked Brenda Byers if there was access to her

12 week Bible study about the 4 agreements. I’ve listened to 2 of just 2 of the lessons. and it’s all still about impeccable with your word. I am blown away by the depth and the extreme wisdom that is coming from her in that Bible study, and she’s offered it to my people. So if you will go to well, you can go to. let’s see, hey? Membership dot prosperinallthings.com and scroll down to the Bible. Seer studies are in the search bar membership.prosperandalthings.com, and go down to the 4 agreements Bible study.

It will bless your socks off. I’m not kidding, so prosper in all things. You want to go to prosperinallthings.com

Look at Brenda Byers. This is a commercial for Brenda Byers, I’m telling you. She I she has so much incredible content. And she’s a Christian business women’s coach, but she’s come from horrific childhood. She’s come from building a multi-million dollar business. Then getting back to 0 and building again. She’s she’s got story that most of us can’t conceive of in her life

And I you know that you can’t go wrong to go checking her content out, and she’s got a lot out there. Find Brenda Byers, on Linkedin, Facebook.  She’s dropping golden nuggets every time she opens her mouth. She reached out to me I became. had a good conversation with her, and she is.

She’s extraordinary. I call her a mentor that I’m extremely thrilled to have found. I’m extremely thrilled to have found a community through her membership. Prosper membership found a great new friend. It was my guest last week on my show named Barbara Zinda Z I N D A. This is this is a new era for me to literally take on and kind of a different direction in my, in my coaching. I’m I’m calling my coaching program. And you guys may not even know this yet. Courageous clarity, courageous clarity, courageous clarity coach. Okay. So let’s if you are wanting some clarity. If you want some guidance on how how to make your life work better without taking everything personally. Without that that you start speaking the things you desire, and start receiving the things you desire.

Wouldn’t that be fun? You know, at 71 years old I was. I could just be playing with grandbabies. That would be awesome. And I’m okay with that. But all this self, you know, the silver haired wisdom I would love to share it with you. I enjoy sharing it with you on my show every week. Charla Anderson, show collector and connector of fascinating people, and everyone is fascinating, especially you.

I’m going to end our my show today. Just just wanted to touch, scratch the surface of some of the wisdom out of that book. The 4 agreements share that with you. Give you some perspective and offer.

Reach out to me Charla, Charla anderson.com Charla@charlottenderson.com. And of course, charlatanerson.com is the website working on that getting that improved. But today’s the day you’re beautiful. You’re perfect, exactly who and where you are right this second. because there’s nowhere else to be.

You might as well love it where you are. and if you don’t like your circumstances, you don’t have last second to change it. You have next second to change it, speak a different word.

Take a different step. One tiny step towards your goals, your dreams, your your desires. I’m Charla Anderson signing off, and I encourage you to 

Always, Always, Always, Always Choose Joy

Episode Books Link :

“The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz:
http://amzn.to/2AYLQGG

FREE Gift:

‘The Four Agreements’ 12 week Bible Study with Brenda Byers

Get Part 1 of the study at https://bit.ly/4AgreementsBible and then the rest are under Bible Studies.

Howdy, Charla Anderson from Fort Worth, TEXAS 🤠   

https://CharlaAnderson.com/ (ever evolving)

817-808-7703

Your COURAGEOUS Coach;

Your INSPIRED Speaker;

Best-Selling Author of​:

  ‘Candy Bar Hugs~It Doesn’t Take Much to Make a Difference‘ ​;

​  ‘Split-Second Transformation~Change Your Words, Change Your Life: 31 Daily Practices‘ & 

​  ‘The Change​~Insights Into Self Empowerment‘ Book Series​ with Les Brown  (ASK about the credibility factor of being in a book like this!)

 TV​/Podcast HOST Live Wednesdays at 1pm CT.  https://winwinwomen.tv/show/the-charla-anderson-show

 ‘The Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!)’ on https://winwinwomen.tv/  

Engaging Podcast Guest.

Outrageously Courageous! Outrageously Optimistic!

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I’m Charla Anderson, host of The Charla Anderson Show, Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (and EVERYONE is Fascinating!) on live TV, streaming, and podcasts. As a Ziglar Legacy Certified Trainer, a retired award-winning flight attendant, Olympic Torchbearer, a personal development junkie, Inspired Speaker, a Published Author, and Your Courageous Coach, I want to share my passion for living life full-out, saying YES to intriguing opportunities, and encouraging YOU to do the same. Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, princess-to-queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

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