Break Free from Money Stress with Financial Coach Angie Carlson

Break Free from Money Stress with Financial Coach Angie Carlson

About Angie Carlson

Financial coach Angie Carlson helps families escape the cycle of money stress. In just five months, she turned 7 years of frustration into transformation. Learn how her Agree & Achieve method rewires relationships and finances for good. She uses Mindset, Communication & Coaching instead of budgets and spreadsheets.

Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Introductio

Good, beautiful day, beautiful, beautiful souls! This is Charla Anderson, host of the Charla Anderson Show~Collector & Connector of Fascinating People (& EVERYONE is Fascinating!), especially you.

I’m so thrilled to have this world-class coach, financial coach with me today, Angie Carlson. I’m hoping that she will, you know, open up some doors for conversation. She uses mindset, not just spreadsheets in her coaching. And maybe she’ll help me get my head out of the sand around the financial conversation. 

…BUT FIRST…

We’re going to do my 22-second breathing exercise, this little mini vacation. We’re going to breathe in calm for seven seconds, hold for four seconds, and breathe out gratitude for 11 seconds. So here we go. Let’s breathe in some calm. Hold. Relax, release. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

We need to do that a little more often every day, don’t you think? Well, I’m super excited about Angie Carlson at Carlson Financial Coaching. She has got a different method than I think most financial people do. And she’s an overcomer too, man. We got some stories to talk about. So I cannot wait to introduce you to Angie . Angie Carlson, tell us about yourself a bit, Angie, and we’ll talk about all kinds of stuff, who you are and what you do and everything else.

Thanks, Sharla. Yes, I’m Angela Carlson. I am from Dubuque, Iowa in the USA, and I am the financial coach for individuals and couples who refuse to stay trapped in their head in that never-ending money conversation because that conversation will never end in your head. And so when I work with my clients, I will take them from having those debates for years or decades of their life, overthinking those $300 purchases. Should I? Shouldn’t I? 

We should do vacation, but what if we have an emergency? And take them from overthinking those decisions for months to making $100,000 decisions or more in minutes and never look back.

Wow. I can’t even imagine. So that is awesome. And I know you have some methodology. Is that the right word? Is that what?

Yes, that’s the right word. And I absolutely do.

Well, I, I’m, I’m excited because what I, what I notice it, or what I think about that you do is you, you dive into the under current, the mindset, the, the conversation that, you know, I know that. words verbiage I’m good at verbiage when I’m talking to other people trying to tell them how to say things not so much for myself right so you you’ve got a mindset methodology and I’m a mindset coach so that’s why I continue using that word I just feel like you know it matters so it’s a what is it a

It’s agree and achieve.

Agree and achieve.

Okay. Yeah. So what it is, is it’s a six step process that, yes, it helps with decision-making, but it also goes into the emotions behind the decisions, the logic, the strategy. And so we start by, we stop that 2 a.m. money panic. You wake up, go pee, you can’t get back to sleep, and you’re just staring at the ceiling, thinking about money. We end that because you’re doing that because you don’t know what to do with your life, you don’t know what’s best. Therefore, you’re on to my second step is, oh, those internal money arguments, which have to come to the end, because you have that voice in your head that’s like, we should go on vacation, but then what if there’s an emergency? We should invest, but what if we lose it all? 

And that mental chaos just has to go because that’s preventing you from making your financial decisions from confidence. Third, we have to stop the financial whack-a-mole, because right now you feel like every time you fix one problem, you’ve got three more that pop up. That’s leaving you exhausted and feeling like you’re one emergency away from falling apart. And so as we work together, we pick three things to focus on, no more, no less, so that you can finally get ahead of the chaos. Fourth, we build your never broke again foundation, because you remember when you felt like you had to choose between that medical bill or your child’s sport? we’re going to make sure that pit in your stomach feeling does not come back. 

And you’re going to see exactly how money works for you instead of it gets to you. And the fifth step, which we’ve all experienced, we have to know how to handle life when it hits the fan. Your water heater is going to break. Your job is going to end. Stock market’s going to go up and down. But instead of those moments destroying your financial progress, you’re going to know how to handle them with total confidence. And finally, we’ve got to protect what you’ve built because as your wealth grows, so do the people trying to get their hands on it and people with opinions. And so I teach my clients how to ask the right questions so you never again lie awake wondering if your financial advisor is actually helping you or helping themselves to your money.

That is powerful, that last one. I’ve always had that sense of, you know, How much commission do they get over how much, you know, when I was looking at doing some investing with some people years and years ago, I had this, like, is this in their best interest or my best interest, right? And you certainly want to have a win-win. Everybody needs to win there. But that step, that’s a confidence-building step. So thank you for those. How does that work? I mean, who are you helping out there? Is it mostly couples?

It is couples. I do take on individuals as well, and I really help them break what’s causing them to overthink those $300 decisions. And it’s normally found in something they experienced as a child. Rich people are greedy, and then they get an inheritance, and their body just freaks out because it’s like, oh no, now I’m that greedy person. and then they may spend it all to not have the money and then have that regret. And so that’s just one example of ways I can help because a lot of our decisions are based in how we were raised and our experiences. 

And while there’s things of that that definitely protected us at the time and we never want to forget those experiences, they also limit what we can do with our money in the future and really prevent us from becoming the people we know and want to be. And I mean, you can choose to stay in the paycheck to paycheck lifestyle if you want, but I’ve never met anybody who’s been really happy with that choice. And so you have to take the steps to get out. I will guide you. I will give you everything you need to know. But you and your spouse, if married, do have to come together and do the work. 

And that’s why you have me by your side, because we’re going to root out all these patterns. We’re going to find what’s going on. We’re going to test what we need to to start seeing things shift so that you can actually look back on your life at the end of our six months and go, wow, that is like the best money I have ever spent. And I want to come back for another round because it’s been so good.

Wow. That speaks volumes to you. So, you know, it sounds to me like, you know, we all, I know money doesn’t go on trees, all those things that we’ve learned as children, You know, they run our, they’re running our world, our life so often. And so you have methods of actually breaking through those old barriers.

Yeah, I think of it like a computer virus. It’s just running there in the background. You may not notice it, you may notice it, but where you’re noticing it showing up is in your bank account when payday hits and you’re like, we make great money, where does it go? You’re noticing that when your spouse says something like, hey, I want to go to Target, and you immediately feel anxious about the money that’s going to be spent, even though they haven’t gone yet. Or you’re checking your bank statement every hour because you’re so scared of the money leaving. 

So regardless of the income, if these underlying patterns are not adjusted as you try to grow your wealth, that’s actually going to put a cap on it. because emotionally in your body, you’re just going to be like, we can’t handle this. This is all we can do. And then you’re going to get frustrated. You’re going to feel like you’re stuck, but you’re going to try all the strategies and be like, why is nothing working? Because that happened to me. We were doing everything right. We were following all the financial gurus and my husband, I just looked at each other and we’re like, why is this not working? Like, and we kept asking ourselves, like, what’s wrong with us? 

And if you’re asking yourself that question, you need to talk to me because I promise you there is nothing wrong with you. You’re in a system with rules that you never picked for outcomes you don’t want. And so we will go in and rewrite those rules so that you can have a life better than what you dreamed with a bank account to match.

So you said something, and I think in your bio, it’s like build relationships richer than your bank accounts. And so that is what you’re talking about here. You’re able to bring some communication skills into the, so it is a topic that probably is number one, one of the top two reasons for divorce, money and other things. But, you know, money is probably one of the top two reasons, if not the top reason for many divorces, right?

Absolutely. And the thing is, you might think it’s your partner because after you’ve tried everything, what else is left? Well, maybe it’s my partner. And then you may decide if you go that route, OK, I’m going to meet someone else. But then if you meet someone else, and I’ve noticed this with couples I’ve coached that are on a second or third marriage, the things that were causing the problems financially in the first couple of marriages, if they don’t know what it is, they tend to follow you into future marriages and relationships.

You’re still there.

You and your beliefs are still there. And now you’re having more regret because last time I checked, I’ve never been divorces, but from what I’ve heard, they ain’t cheap. And, you know, you probably have a good person still in your life, but now you’re also like having your biggest fear come true because you got remarried because you did not want to relive all this. And now it’s like, oh crap, my biggest fears come true. And what do you start to do? You start doubting all your other decisions because you thought you had it. and you feel like you were wrong. That is going to cap your finances faster than anything else, in my opinion.

So it sounds like you’re a communication expert. I do believe you have a degree in communication. And what was the other financing?

I have, my bachelor’s are in mathematics and communications, two fields that do not go together. And over 20 years later, I have never met anyone else with that double major.

Mathematics and communication. Oh my goodness. The nerd means the socialite or something.

It’s like, you know, it was really fun trying to get those classes in. And I was like, I’m taking my communication classes out of order. There is no way I’m taking math classes out of order. Math builds on itself too much. I will figure out the communication stuff before I figure out the math stuff.

Well, and it sounds, I mean, really, it makes so much sense. So you’re actually. finding ways. I mean, I think so many people just don’t talk about it. It’s a head in the sand. That’s what I was, you know, the head in the sand or la, la, la, la, la, you know, it’ll work out.

It’s not initially like that. They’ve tried so many times to talk about it and they may voice like, I think a Chanel bag would be great. And then it’s like, well, why would you waste your money on that? Or I want to max out my 401k, but then they’re like, well, why don’t you want to have any fun in life? And so when they voice their concerns, they’re met with judgment, either judgment in their head for wanting something that they feel like they shouldn’t have for whatever reason, judgment from parents, spouse, kids, whoever about, you know, you should be handling your money, quote unquote, better. And then, you know, things in society, social media, and everyone’s giving an opinion and they keep discounting theirs.

And there’s plenty of opinions out there, for sure. So you, you, You went to, oh, I wanna just address, first of all, I like to, towards the beginning, and I’ll do it again towards the end, if I don’t, you do, https://www.carlsonfinancialcoaching.com/, and that’s Angela or Angela Carlson, carlsonfinancialcoaching.com, so you can find her on that. But we’re also gonna talk about some of your overcoming. 

We’ll circle back to this conversation, I believe, because I think it’s very important I wish I had had more understanding of the finances in my world and communication as well with that in my relationships. So I want to circle back to that. But also, you were born deaf, right? And in the first four years of your life, you didn’t hear. There’s some overcoming pieces to your story that I’m like, why? So you’ve never met anybody else that was born deaf and at four years old gets heard, can hear. Yeah.

Yeah. And this was back, I mean, I was born in the end of 79. So back, you know, in the eighties, like they just didn’t test for things the way they do now. And I have a younger sister and she was progressing with milestones faster than I was because initially when I would start, they just had labeled me slow. You know, she’s just, she’ll get there eventually, but they didn’t know it was my hearing. until my sister started hitting milestones that I wasn’t hitting. And so at that point, you know, they went in to try Tubes. And for me, Tubes was a life-changing event. So I don’t know, like, what prompted the no hearing for four years. I don’t

I don’t think it was necessarily being deaf, because that’s not necessarily something you can recover from, from what I know about medical knowledge. So if you’re a medical person, please let me know if that’s an option, because don’t follow me for medical advice. And as we went in, you know, when I got tubes, I still remember, like, after the surgery, I was in the hospital with my mom, and like, the elevator went ding, and I was just like, so excited. I still remember my mom breaking down, because she was like, I know she heard that. heard who I am, but I would remember running as a child to go after a ball in the street. 

And next thing I’d know, I’d be off my feet because an adult who is highly responsible is making sure a three-year-old doesn’t run in the street. But for me, that was super terrifying because I couldn’t hear the footsteps coming. And so when I was picked up from behind, what was registering in my body, which I know now is, you’re never going to see mom and dad again. because sometimes you might have known who they were, sometimes you don’t. So for me growing up as a child, touch was terrifying. I hated to be touched. Not so much that it’s a bad thing, it just kind of, it just put me in that spider mode.

Unexpected touch, you know, unexpected touch for sure where they come up behind you or this, you know, because, I mean, I’m sure if you saw your parents and they came for you, that was one thing, but unexpected touch when you can’t hear it coming has got to be, terrifying and what a gift that they were able to somehow figure out what was the problem.

Yeah and the hard thing for me is growing up I was put in special ed courses in the beginning of my schooling because I couldn’t hear so I was with you know in rooms where teachers were talking at like 0.25x speed and I was bored out of my mind because I’m actually quite intelligent I love my brain and I just was in an environment that wasn’t created for me. Like I still remember going to the school for the deaf, learning how to lip read for preschool. I remember all the times I was pulled out of the regular classroom to put in special ed because I was quote unquote behind. And really with some of those challenges, it’s like I never, like I didn’t feel normal. And then as a teenager, I had scoliosis. 

So now I’m wearing a back brace 23 hours a day in eighth and ninth grade, just what every teenage girl dreams of, with braces on and a face full of acne. Thank God there was not social media back then. And it was just like, I just kept feeling like my childhood. I just kept getting hit after hit after hit. And it was just like. I was like, geez, God, what did I do to tick you off? I had seasons of my life where I just felt like I was God’s personal punching bag.

Oh my god.

And it was just one of those things.

Scoliosis with a brace in eighth and ninth grade. So I think this is my take. Middle school, junior high, that age is the most, junior high is the worst place to be on the face of the earth. It’s the worst time of your life because everything is changing and everybody’s judging and you want to be, cute and popular and obviously that would have been a challenge for you especially so.

And everybody knew who I was because I was that girl in the brace and the brace had screws in it so like the back of my shirts would rip if I sat in the chairs and you know it added like you know four inches around me so of course you know my clothes were all like two sizes bigger than what I needed because I had to fit everything over the brace and It was and it was not pleasant at all. I mean, I’m thankful I did it because I would be in a wheelchair and I really loved my ability to walk. So thrilled that we did it. And it was also really, really hard.

Oh, my goodness. I mean, I really that’s I just met my my son had to have some dental things and he had these in middle school. He had these braces that literally they something they poked out of his mouth something part part of his time and and i was i just felt so bad because i was like man how do you have your you know that’s a tough time i mean that really is the toughest time in my estimation you know i didn’t like you’re trying to be popular, right? And all that, man. Yeah. So you’ve overcome being deaf or childhood, and then you’ve overcome scoliosis in junior high with a brace, and then you had a near-death experience, I think you mentioned.

Yeah, when I was 39 years old, for about two and a half years before that, I just would start getting randomly sick. I would eat nothing, I would be physically sick for 30 minutes, I could eat a full meal, would be fine, nothing happened. It was the weirdest thing. And I’m like, okay, I know I’m not pregnant, I know we’ve ruined out all the stuff. And so I would just go to the doctor and they gave me medicine for the vomiting. Then I started having pain in my upper right quadrant, my back. So then they’re like, okay, you need physical therapy. And what was happening is even though I was doing all these things and following their protocol and rules, I was getting sicker and sicker and sicker. 

And what we found out two and a half years later is my gallbladder had actually died on my body, but every time I went to the emergency room, I was told it was all in my head and they wouldn’t give me an ultrasound, which would have drastically shortened the timeline of all this. And my nurse practitioner, breast to her heart, she like pushed for it for months. She’s like, I know this is what you need, but because she was fresh out of school, The higher-ups were like, you know, you don’t know what you’re doing. There’s no way she could need this. And I was out of town, Labor Day weekend of 2019, and I went to another ER out of town. And they finally were like, you have to get this girl an ultrasound. 

Like, she came in like, this is not normal. And after my ultrasound, which actually before that, during the ultrasound, the tech reacted, which I know they’re trained not to do. And so once she reacted, I was like, okay, we’re going to get some answers today, which was a relief. But then the tone of her reaction was like four. And I was like, okay, these answers aren’t going to be good. So I’m, you know, I’ve got scenarios going through my head. And then after the ultrasound, like one of the heads of the department comes out and they’re like, don’t go any further than five miles from the hospital. 

And I’m like, well, that’s weird. Like, no, like, I’ve never heard that after a doctor’s appointment, but we live like a mile away. So we’re like, this is our address. We meet the five miles. We’re going to go home. I don’t even think my husband and I were home for like two minutes when we get a call and they said, surgery is double booked and you have an appointment in 10 minutes. And we just looked at each other and we’re like, you know, after a bunch of four letter words, we’re just like, whatever they found is this can’t be good. So, you know, we’ve got, all these scenarios going through our heads. I mean, thank God our kids were at school.

They didn’t tell you any, they didn’t give you any? Not over the phone. Oh, but even in the hospital, the practitioner didn’t say, couldn’t say anything?

No. And so, and so we had like that, all that was probably about 30, 45 minutes. I mean, it went really quick. And then we got to surgery and they basically were like, if we operate on you now, you’re a dead woman. Because what had happened is my gallbladder had died in my body and my blood system was fully gangrene and I was septic. And so I was in a wheelchair straight to the hospital for admission. And they had to spend 24 hours hydrating me to just get me to at a point where I would hopefully survive the surgery. 

And they told my husband, we may operate on her and she may not come back. And obviously he really did not want to be a single dad to our fourth grader and kindergartner at the time. He was out of, I mean, he, I think I took it better than he did. Cause I was, I was just relieved to have answers at this point. And my husband was looking at it as I might lose my wife, which I wasn’t even, I mean, I was to the point I was so sick and so miserable that I’m like, if I’m going to be like this the rest of my life, Lord, just get me out of here. I don’t care that I’m 39. I don’t care. I don’t get to be old. This is my body. I’m done. 

And as I was waiting for the surgery, I would just have these weird dreams and see things. And so I still don’t know what happened, but it’s so vivid and so real. You will never convince me it was different. And then my surgery ended up, going four times longer than it should. So my husband, because they said, you know, for more than an hour, she probably didn’t make it. And he’s going on like three hours, four hours. So he is like bawling his eyes out. No one can give him an update. He called my parents in because he’s like, I don’t know. And finally, I came out of surgery. I remember waking up feeling so good after surgery that I honestly did not know what world I was in. Because I was like, My first thought was like, I can’t feel this good and still be on earth, because I’ve just been so sick for so long. But then I was like, wait a second, I think this is a hospital room. And I’m like, you know, pinching myself and being like, I just, I seriously didn’t know where I was. Yeah.

And I was like, well, maybe heaven, right? Maybe in heaven, you know, sorry.

I was like, I felt so good. I mean, I hadn’t felt that good in a long time. I was just like, man.

So how did, I mean, gallbladder dying in your body and you not, I mean, how does that happen and why?

And had, I mean, I don’t know how that got this. I, I mean, I know I went, I mean, I was at the ER like every month and the one doctor just kept telling me I needed the psych ward. I’m like, dude, my skin’s turning green. Skin doesn’t turn green cause I’m thinking I’m crazy. Like I know, like I know, like I kept advocating for myself. I’m like, I know there’s something serious going on. And it took me being out of town, having to go to a different emergency room for them to be like, you know, Hey, you need to take her like seriously. Cause there’s stuff here that is not right. Wow.

Hmm. Wow. So, and since that, so they had, they obviously removed the dead stuff. I don’t miss my gallbladder. Let’s put it that way. Man, I hadn’t even imagined. So then what? So then you, you came out of that, you recovered and it looks like you’re obviously very healthy and.

Yeah, and after I was in the recovery, when you feel like you’re gonna lose your life, you have a lot of thoughts that go through your head. So that 36 hours before surgery, looking at my life flashing before my eyes, I wasn’t necessarily focusing on all the good times of life, I was focusing on, I wish I would’ve done this, I wish I would’ve been a financial coach and helped so many people and I was too chicken to do it. And I had all these things I wish I would’ve done, and I was like, if I survive, I’m going to figure this out. I don’t know how I’m going to do any of it. I don’t know what any of this looks like, but if I survive, there’s a reason. And the reason is to start doing all these things I regret not doing, because I know I’m going to be back on my deathbed at some point, but I don’t have to bring those regrets back with me. I can start tackling those one at a time. And I’m not going to wait because I never thought I’d be thinking about death as 39. I like that never, that never crossed my mind. And the fact that the unthinkable almost happened to us puts a whole different perspective on my work.

A little more urgency in your world, a little bit more urgency, right, of getting to this point of I mean, in that regard, it was a gift, right? Somehow, looking back at that, it was a wake-up call. It was a gift. It’s like, I’m not piddling around anymore. I’m gonna do what I’m called to do. Oh, it was one of the best things that happened to me.

Now, that does not mean I want it to happen again anytime soon. And, you know, it was one of the best things that happened to us. My husband and I, okay, we stress-tested our financial plans and realized they actually would have held up pretty good, which does not replace me. And my husband could have gotten our boys to 18 had something happened to me, which for me was a huge relief. Because we had all the things in place.

Oh, my goodness. So you actually were doing it yourself the way you teach it now. And it made a difference. So before that, were you a different kind of a coach or a financial planner?

No, I’ve always worked in the financial sector. So I did nine years in back-end retirement processing. And then I spent a season doing taxes, which absolutely sucked. I will never do that again. And then I spent a decade in higher ed in a student aid office, where I was the financial aid director for my last seven years.

And then you stepped out of this recovery room and became a different type of a coach. This is, I, cause I don’t, I don’t think there’s a lot of people that don’t just go to a financial planner and get the, the spreadsheets, right. And the, and the, the budgets and all that kind of stuff. It’s more dry. It sounds like you add a whole different dimension. to that coaching, which now it makes so much sense because you’re passionate about helping people since you overcame that time of your life.

And one of the things I learned are the things with the biggest ROIs, return on investments, are the things that are intangible. Like my mom passed away four years ago, and I would give anything to get another hug or have a conversation with her. But we put so much of our effort in the financial world are things we can see, like our 401k statement, and did we make money? Did we lose money? Our bank balance, is it up or down? And we spend so much time focusing on that, that we lose sight of what’s really important. Like, what’s the kind of life I want to give my kids? What do I want my legacy to look like? 

what do I want do I want to be enjoying my money or do I want to have five million in the back bank and be so panicked and like oh my god oh my god oh my god what if I lose it and like so panicked or do we want to be like hey it’s here I can make this decision I’m going to be okay and so there’s a lot of emotions that go into finances because if we have five million we can’t enjoy it what’s the point of having five million I mean, I’ve talked to people that have multi-million net worths and they still feel like they have to work three jobs because they’re so scared the minute they let the pedal off the gas is the minute it’s all going to fall apart. That’s not okay. And if you’re thinking that you do need to talk to me and the social media handle for that is at finance coach AC, shoot me a DM. They’re happy to set you up.

Say that again, say it and repeat it slowly.

Yep, at Finance Coach AC on Facebook, Instagram, Threads is a great place to reach out to me as well. AC for Angie Carlson. when we look at those things, the financial planners don’t do that because they’re measured, you know, they can tangibly see what’s going on with the money. Your spreadsheets, you can tangibly see what’s going on with your money. But what you don’t see in the numbers is, oh, the reason we’re going over our out to eat budget is because the kids have soccer 45 minutes away and they started screaming at each other five minutes into the ride.

So I’m going to stop and pick up a $40 meal so I can have peace and quiet for the first time today because I got screamed at all day at work. this didn’t go well whatever whatever and you just do things because you need a break but you don’t see that in a number what you do is you see you went over the out eating out budget you’re just like beating yourself up for being a financial idiot no There’s deeper things going on in the numbers, but if you keep judging yourself on the numbers, you’re not going to get what you want. And it doesn’t serve you because every month you go over budget, you’re just reinforcing a belief that you’re bad with money, and you’re not. You’re human and you’re out of alignment with your values. Those are two very different problems to solve.

And that’s if you have a budget, right? Other than, so often, I know, I witnessed that there’s a, you just get some money and you spend it, right? And that’s how I’ve witnessed some 30-somethings in my world. Oh, we got some money and oh, we got to treat ourselves, right, instead of saving.

Well, and even if you don’t have a budget, you still instinctively know something’s not right. You may not be able to put the words to something’s not right, but you know something in your life is not working. And you know that because you’re up in the middle of the night, you can’t sleep, you snap at your kids, you snap at your spouse, the car goes out and you’re stressed out for three weeks. You have signs that things aren’t working, but you don’t look at those as signs things aren’t working because you think they’re quote unquote normal. And that holds you back even more because And you’re like, if this is normal, why would I dream bigger? Why would I dream better? Why would I think I can actually do this work? Anyone can do this work if you have an open mind and a willingness to change. And it’s so hard for so many people to really change what they’ve thought because I’m bad with money is not a fact. It’s a story. Stories can be rewritten.

I love that. Absolutely. It’s not a fact. It’s a story. And I have one of my mentors talks about her ceiling, you know, that she could not ever break through in a, in her business. And it was always, you know, she could not make more than $2,200. And if she did the net, I mean, they would have to come right back to that. So it was a balance. And when she realized and found out that, um, For security, her parents were wealthy, but they were fighting all the time. And so her story is money, too much money makes you angry. Too much money is bad. And so she was able to break through that and skyrocket. So I do believe that that’s what some of us have. 

You can’t make more than this amount. You know, I think about my former husband is like, you know, he was raised, they would either be, he called it noodles and tomatoes. Apparently that was their poor food. And then, then they’d be riding on jets sometimes, private jets sometimes. And it was just like this, you never knew, you couldn’t, it was a lot of conflict in the home around money. Absolutely.

And I get that. And that conflict, and so everyone’s ceiling is going to be different. And so, and that makes it hard, especially if you’re married to somebody, because most people don’t know the house that their spouse grew up in. Because when they go to visit, everyone puts on their smiling face and thinks it’s great. They were never behind the doors of the house when all the things were happening. And I know this because my husband and I will say stuff about our families, and I’m like, you actually experienced that? And he looks at me the same way because our stories are so different. And what our tendency is, is we want to do the story that’s comfortable to us, but the more comfortable I would try to get, the more uncomfortable he would get, and vice versa. 

So we had to come together and be like, okay, we obviously have parts of both our stories we don’t want to repeat. And there’s actually parts of both of our upbringings that actually are pretty darn good that we want to instill for us and our kids. And so what do we want this to look like? And there would be times like I would reference like touching the savings and my husband would like almost have a breakdown because for him that brought up some memories that were really powerful that he thought he was going to repeat, which to me, I had no idea that was going on with his head because he was so embarrassed. He didn’t want to tell me. And so he didn’t. And that left me wondering, like, what am I doing wrong? And I wasn’t doing anything wrong. because I didn’t know what to stop because he didn’t have the words to tell me.

He’s a feeling guy, so he would just get this feeling and be like, I don’t know what it means. And that drove me bonkers because I’m like, How can you not know? Like, obviously you’ve gone through something and it took us years to work through this. I mean, our conversations used to take us six months. It felt like we never got anywhere. And now it’s like we can work through the same stuff in like five minutes, if that. It’s wild how much quicker our stuff is. And we’ve realized we’ve made more progress with our conversations than worrying about what we’re making and what we’re doing. It’s not that we don’t have things in place, But money loves speed and money loves great decisions. And we’ve just noticed the more of those we make, the more things in our life work out. Like we both have jobs that we love now. We’re no longer working opposite shifts like we did for 12 years. We’re all home by 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I might still be working, but we’re home in the summer by 2 p.m. 

The kids during the school year are home by 3. we look at each other and we’re like, what do we do with all this time? And it’s a fact, like our problems have just shifted and they’re great. Like we love these problems that we have now and the ability to just live life on our terms. And people look at us cause they know that they make more than us. And they’re like, how do you guys do it? How are you here and doing the things? And that’s why you come work with me because this is possible.

What a gift, man. So you referenced a story in your bio that you sent. So you referenced a story about someone that had spent 7 years, 7 years in conflict, horrific conflict about money, and what, 5 months or something they turned it around?

Yeah, they had a home repair they needed to do, and it was a substantial home repair, like tens of thousands of dollars. And one’s like, I don’t want to do it because we’d have to take on debt and all the things. And the other one’s like, I’m tired of wasting money on these small repairs. I just want it done. I’m tired of being on vacation and having to worry about this and having to get a phone call if it rains. And so when they started to work with me, I’m like, there’s Both things here are valid. Of course you want to do this with no debt, and of course you want your life back. Those things are both reasonable. But those reasonable things did not agree with each other, and they did not play together well. 

And so what I did is I went in and looked at their numbers and was like, hey, you’ve already been spending money for seven years on temporary repairs. Have you ever added up what those cost to? And they were like, no, it never crossed our mind. Do that. And they did, and they were like, And that kind of helped bring the other one to be like, okay, yeah, we just need to get this done. And they took on a little bit of debt. They had it paid off in 90 days. And now they both have what they want five months later. We just had to get through that gap. And so for them, that’s what they hired me for. It wasn’t that they needed help day to day. They just had this log jam that I just needed to go in and be the stick of dynamite. And now that they got through that, they’re on the other side and they’re thriving because they don’t have this contention in their marriage anymore. 

So it’s also, you know, the green achieve method is also really great for those of you who are just like, we feel great with our finances, but we’re stuck in this one area. Absolutely something to work with me for because I mean, now they look at it and they’re like, we have our life back, we can do the things like we’re not stressing here. And they didn’t realize like how much time they were spending thinking about this until it was done. And they’re just like, our brain doesn’t know what to do because this isn’t a problem. We can’t think on it anymore. It’s solved. There’s nothing left.

Isn’t that interesting that you let something go on for that long? We all do. I mean, most of us do at times, but it’s like, What if we just figured it out? You know, so what, what a gift that was. So you have your favorite quote or something at reasonable does not mean agree. Reasonable does not mean agree.

So that came from my financial aid days of regulatory interpretations. And there would be times that I would get as a financial aid director, I would see stuff so far out of the realm of normal. And you know, I would call like, you know, a friend and hire that worked in an aid office. And I’m like, what would you do with this? And most of the times they said, good luck, like not helpful at all. But as a director, I would have to make a call and I would have to document how I made my call. And so I’d always walk myself through a process is, okay, if someone else had this information that I have, would they think that what I did is reasonable? And so I would go into all my conversations with that thought. 

And of course, this file always got chosen for audit. And the auditor would come in and they would want to say I made a mistake. And so my defense was always, hey, you can see that I tried to follow, you know, ABC and, you know, you have the documentation showing that they’re like, yeah, we we agree with that. And I’m like, at this point, you have to prove that what I did is reasonable. You don’t have to agree with what I did. you have to show me that’s reasonable. Now, if you saw a second perspective, please tell me, because if I ever get this again,

I’m happy to learn. And you can’t give me a finding if what I did is unreasonable. And they couldn’t argue with my reasonability with what I had, you know, because sometimes, you know, something would come out after the date of it. And I’d be like, well, I made the call on, you know, April 5th, and this came down to 20th. you can’t cite me for something I didn’t know about. And so I got to be, I got to really develop the skill set of really going in when everyone’s saying stuff that sounds amazing, but like, how do we get all these things that are reasonable to play together well? 

And so that and so when I hear couples say, I understand but disagree, that’s a form of that phrase. And that’s what I see happen. A lot of relationships is their spouse will say goals like we want to max out retirement. And they’re like, that’s great. And I haven’t had a vacation in three years. And but then they’re like, but then they get in their head to be like, OK, if my spouse is doing all these good things, should I really want that? And now we’ve got the sneaky recipe for tension and conflict and all this stuff just kind of brewing under the surface. And I guarantee you, this is all going to come to a head someday.

Yeah. And ultimately, we want a win-win. We want everybody to have enough of their win, right? So it doesn’t mean we get 100% every single time. I’ve shown my little tiny book, Split Second Transformation, Change Your Words, Change Your Life, 31 daily practices, little things that will help you change your words because words matter. And you’re a communication expert, so you know that. Every word matters in my estimation. I think we really do. So in one of the chapters in there, it’s just 31 little tiny chapters. And one of them is called, uh, the elephant in the room. 

And I had heard this and nice every so often, uh, for like, for a wedding gift, I’ll give a stuffed and a stuffed elephant with a little note that says, Hey, you know, if you, if you’re, you know, this is the deal. A lot of couples will, you know, that man’s at work or they’re separate and, and they’ve got something building up. They want to talk to him about, and instead of, lambasting them when they walk through the door and they had no idea what was going to hit them that you put the elephant on the bed or on the coffee table and at a time that gives a sign that they have a a moment to uh the other one’s going okay i guess we’re gonna need to talk do you mind if we wait till after dinner or till tomorrow you know whatever get into the mindset to me that’s a a fun little um Just a fun little way to open up some communication. What do you think of that one?

Yeah, I love it. And when the communication is open, I don’t want the couples that come in my world to compromise. I want them to collaborate. Because compromise is if you get something, I have to give up something. I don’t necessarily believe that because whatever I have to give up is normally the thing I want the most in order for this compromise to work. Therefore, I’m not going to follow the compromise plan. So what’s the point?

And so that goes back to the win-win, right? I mean, we want everyone to feel heard and valued.

And so collaboration is more of a, OK, we have a plan. We see what we both want. How are we going to give it to ourselves? And really working through that. And then how do we adjust the plan when we’re in the process of trying to give it ourselves for like, kid breaks their arm, car has a $4,000 repair. Because once again, life is going to happen. We just don’t know the day or how much. We wish we knew those two details in advance, but we don’t. And then also, how do we not be so hard on ourselves when these things happen? How do we not guilt ourselves into using our savings for what we saved it for?

Wow, the rainy day thing, but we don’t want to use it when the rainy day’s here.

Correct, because we have something going on, thinking if I spend the money, it’s not going to come back, which, one, is totally

not true, and if you think it is, another good reason to contact me at Finance Coach AC. And two, that’s just not a belief that’s going to serve you to reinforce you, because as long as you are alive, you are required to handle whatever comes your way. And you get to decide how you handle that. You can decide, I’m going to deal with it and be done. You can decide you want to deal with it for three years. I don’t really care what you choose, and your quality of life is really going to depend on what you choose.

I call it life keeps lifting, you know, it just, you know, just keep showing up. Right. So, and that’s until it doesn’t. And that’s, that’s where your, your expertise seems to really be valuable. Well, one, I meant to mention this early on because I think that you and I, we both, well, we met each other through the change book. Oops, this 1, the change book, um. That we both are in I’m in volume. 21, you’re in volume 22 with less brown at writing the, uh, the forward.

Yep.

And what a gift that is, right? That absolutely having, you know, somebody reached out to me and I was like, why me? And they said, well, why not you? I’m like, who am I? I don’t, you know, I’m nobody. And they’re like. Really? So that I, what you’d get in that where there’s 20 authors in each book, give or take, and then we get a mastermind every month with Jim Lutz and Jim Britt that I believe is, and the coaching through that is probably some of the highest level down to earth. 

Coaching that that we can get I’ve been very very impressed with them because it’s not It’s not a lot of rah-rah. It’s pretty much boots on the ground type coaching and We also have a Facebook group that we get to share in so that so both of us Either 1, if, you know, Angie wanted to learn from go with her, you know, she can recommend you if you want to be in a book like that. It’s a credibility factor. And certainly me, we, you know, it’s like an affiliate kind of a thing. They want us to. they, everybody has to come through somebody. So anyway, pick one of us and join, join us in the, I think they’re working on book 24 now or something.

Yeah, book 23 just, volume 23 just went to publication, so I believe they’re filling book 24.

Very, very exciting stuff. So what is your take on, on that, the change,

Yeah, it’s a great opportunity because the story that I shared about my gallbladder is the story I go to more in depth with the book. And it’s one of those things like I never really thought about writing a book and I don’t really know if I want to do it. But doing a chapter was like pretty less time commitment, less financial commitment. Let’s just see if I like the process. Let’s just see if I like how we end up with all of this. And, you know, I decided that as of right now, writing a book, not really for me. Great. Am I glad that I wrote my chapter? 

I’m thrilled that I wrote my chapter because this was part of my story I always want to document it. That box is checked. And I’ve just met so many incredible people around the world who are on fire for what they do. They’re passionate about their projects. They know a bunch of incredible people because that’s really what we all want to do is meet incredible people who lift us up, get us further on the journey, And that has happened within that group, and I’m blessed to be a part of it.

Yes. I’m surprised there’s not more. I mean, sometimes I’m surprised there’s not more of the authors that come into that mastermind, because I feel like it’s a great place to meet. Other folks and I’ve had several guests of my on my show and future guests coming that I’ve met through that that That masterminded through the Facebook group. So the change is a great book. It’s not on Amazon. The book is not on Amazon. It’s a Ingram Sparks or something.

Yeah, Ingram Sparks. Each of us authors have our own links So like if you want book 21 reach out to Charla you want book 22 reach out to me

And it’s inspiring stories for sure, very inspiring stories. So I’ve covered a lot of the things that I was like, okay, I wanna cover that overcoming step of the near death and death and scoliosis at junior high. And we’ve talked about a lot of your methodology. Not mythology, it’s definitely methodology here. easy for you to say so um so what else where where else are you headed i mean you live in iowa you gotta you know you guys shovel snow and stuff um what is your uh what else is next what’s next how is how is it going for you what do you want to uh what do you see in the next future

Well, in the future, I do see us being in Dubuque for at least another seven years at this point. That’s when my younger son graduates from high school. Now that my older son’s in high school, he’ll graduate, my younger son will go in, and we really don’t want to move them during the high school years. Plus, my father-in-law is 92 and aging, and he’s here. For see ourselves being here for the foreseeable future in Dubuque and business wise it’s about getting my message out there helping people who want the transformation that I offer and really just showing people what is possible showing up in a way because I have people stop me locally that are just like. How do you do it? 

Like, it’s really funny that when I left my day job three years ago, April 2022, people thought I was nuts. And now those same people are coming to me like, how did you do it? How did you know? And the answer to that is I didn’t know. I had, I thought I knew what I was doing. Yeah, right. I was very naive and had no idea. And I also knew like, hey, there’s more jobs out there. I can, there’s things I can do. Like, I just had this inner knowing that no matter what, I’m okay. And I’m trusting that knowing and trusting that knowing has given me a much better life than I could have possibly imagined. Like if you would have told me April, 2022, 

I would be, you know, the coach that I am part of an international mastermind book, like all these things I’ve done. I just look back on my life and I’m like, I’ve really done all this in three and a half years. Like it seems crazy when I write it down on paper, because it doesn’t seem like there’s any way I can have it done. And it’s like, I don’t know, I actually did all that.

And when you’re in the flow, I mean, when you know, when you know in your knower, you step into your calling, it does become simpler, right? It’s less decision. And I have a little sticky note right here that says, all is well. all is well. And I have, and it’s like everything is always working out for me. And, and when it, when it doesn’t feel like it is, it still is because where else do you have to be than where you are? So, yeah.

Right. So I appreciate it. My life is lighter. I feel like I have a fraction of the stress. Like it’s just like, my head is clear. I look back at the person I was four years ago and I’m like, thank God that she’s in the past. She definitely gave me what I needed. I’m here because of her. And thank God a lot of her is left in the past because it wasn’t serving me. I was coming home crying for an hour every night after my job because I hated it. That doesn’t serve anybody, especially me. And I am so glad that I did the thing that everyone told me, don’t do it, you’re crazy. Because I did show people I was crazy, just not in the way they thought.

Well, congrats on that. I mean, that you’re, you’re living a life that most, it seems like most people right now are so frenetic and there’s so much confusion out there. And I, and I’m, I’m outrageously optimistic. That’s me. Charla is outrageously optimistic that things are. actually getting better in spite, you know, be prepared, not scared, just, you know, stepping into, you know, doing, taking care of your family, your neighbors, your community, and, and, you know, and kind of shut out that all the negative stuff that’s going on out there. So I, I feel like once you kind of get that idea that you’re in the flow that you’re, you know, yes, this is what I’m called to do. 

And you don’t, you don’t look back, right? You just keep going forward. And it sounds like a beautiful decision for you and and how to so you know in just a few more minutes here before we close in but so what does it look like to work with you what i mean first of all they connect you through um through your your website which is carlsonfinancialcoaching.com or the at um finance coach ac and then what they do is they just send me requests like hey i’m interested in working with you when will

do a conversation just because we want to vet that if we’re the right fit, or you may watch this and go, hey, I love your style, and we decide that you’re the right fit. The next thing I would do is invite you into my six-month program. We’ll take care of all the logistics stuff, and we will get started.

So it’s basically a six-month plan to at least get things on track. So what if somebody is massively heavily in debt and can’t see the the future.

Yeah, well, they’re massively heavily in debt and they can’t see the future. First thing they probably want to do is follow me at finance coach AC and just get a sense of my content because what that’s going to do is start showing people, okay, this is what it’s like to work with me. This is how I think of things. And if they decide they don’t agree with how I think with things, totally cool. I’m not their coach. Fantastic.

I can help them find someone who’s a great fit. But if they’re reading this and they’re starting to implement some of the things I share on social media, and they’re starting to see some of those results, then yeah, I’m a great fit for them because what I’m recommending is working, which is what you want. And then we can always go longer than six months. I do everything in six month containers, but just because we’re at the end of the six months does not mean we have to be done. We can go for another six months and another six months. The goal is I do want my clients to all be able to go out and do this on their own. And for some clients, that’s six months. For some clients, it’s two years or more. It just really depends on the situation, the client, or I have some clients who are doing so well with money that they just want to keep having me here because they’re just loving the results that they’re seeing. And so those, you know, some of those clients we might do, if they’re in that situation, we might just meet, you know, maybe once a quarter, kind of just kind of check in and see how things are going. What are the pitfalls? 

Cause sometimes I’ve had a couple of my clients call me their sounding board. Like they don’t necessarily, they feel like they know what they’re doing, but they’re just like, we just need to see what’s off. And then as we talk, they can work through it. And they’re like, those five, 10 minute conversations are saving them, you know, tens of thousands of dollars because they have the clarity. They know what they want to do. They feel good about it. And they’re seeing results really quick. And so that’s also, if you’re looking for a sounding board, because you pay me directly for the service, I’m not, you know, taking commission or anything like that. And I’ve had clients come to me, they’re like, this person on my team doesn’t feel right, but they’ve been a family friend forever, and I don’t think I can leave them. And it’s like, there’s a reason you brought this up, we definitely are talking about it. 

Or whatever the scenario is, it’s like, you’re bringing it up for a reason, we’re gonna find that reason, and we’re gonna make sure that what decision you commit to is the one that actually gets executed. And if you’re making a decision that your family’s not gonna like, okay, now we’ve gotta talk about your boundaries, and realizing that they don’t get a vote, and all these things that sound so easy to do, but when you try to do them in your real life, it is exponentially harder.

And you don’t see, so you’re the one that can help. You know, here’s the big picture, and here’s, you know, you kind of weave them through their mess. Especially the holiday season.

Maybe through their mess, right? Well, and sometimes during the holiday season, if someone’s co-signed for you, and Thanksgiving might get a little awkward if they want their money to be repaid. And so we’ve got, you know, so there’s lots of things here to navigate that a financial advisor, a tax pro, a CPA, a lawyer, they’re not going to sit here and navigate with you because they’re going to do so many things that are tactical and practical and leave you basically in a lurch on the emotional side, on the mindset side, on the, should I really do this side?

Because if you’re questioning something, that’s exactly what a coach is for. That’s exactly why I am your coach if that’s coming up. and we can sit down and break it all down and show you how to be in control of your decisions. Because I have clients that make decisions that go against my recommendations. Great. I’m happy that they’re making decisions. That’s the thing, is they’re making decisions that they feel good about, that they know are going to get them further. Great. That’s exactly what I’m here to show you how to do. And those decisions may not be the ones I would make, and that is totally okay. That sounds like a no judgment zone. Absolutely not. You’ve already experienced so much financial judgment. Why are you going to pay to be judged? That’s silly. I wouldn’t pay to be judged.

Oh, that’s awesome. Well, Angie, I have just had so much fun. I love your stories of overcoming and how really communication is obviously a gift of yours. You’re so articulate and clear and very fun to listen to. And I’m so grateful for you to have joined me today on The Charla Anderson Show. Yes, thank you so much. It was an honor to be here. And we will, we’ll be back every every week, you’re going to find a new, a new episode and out on the podcast. And please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel. 

That would be so awesome. I also I so often forget to ask. So I appreciate you coming today. And we’re going to have a wonderful Um, afternoon,

I hope everyone, so blessings, blessings, blessings, and remember to always, always, always choose joy.

Important Links

• Website: https://www.carlsonfinancialcoaching.com/
• Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/FinanceCoachAC/
• LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/angela-carlson-b09a1a2a3/
• Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/financecoachac/
• Threads- https://www.threads.com/@financecoachac
• My free e-book  Beyond the Budget

Connect with Charla Anderson:

For more insights and to follow Charla’s creative journey, check out her website and her other projects:

• Website: CharlaAnderson.com
• YouTube: Check out her channel for beginner art tips, life wisdom, and more!

---

About  Angie Carlson

Meet Angie Carlson—the financial coach who refuses to let people stay trapped in that never ending money conversation in their head. Picture this: A family stuck in the same financial pattern for seven years. Seven years of the same arguments, the same fears, the same “solutions” that never stick. Angie stepped in, and five months later? Complete transformation. That’s not luck. That’s what happens when you combine a BA in Mathematics and Communication from Central College with four years of watching individuals & families break through barriers everyone else said were permanent.  While other coaches hand you budgets and spreadsheets, Angie hands you the keys to conversations that actually work. Her clients don’t just pay off debt (though $35K gone in four months isn’t unusual). They don’t just build wealth (hello, nothing in retirement to $100k going in for 2024). They completely rewire how money flows through their relationships. As a wife and mother of two in Dubuque, IA, Angie knows the midnight anxiety of wondering if you’re making the right financial choices for your family. She also knows the breathtaking relief of finally having money conversations that bring you closer instead of driving you apart. Through her Agree & Achieve method, Angie helps individuals and families break free from the money rules that keep them small—so they can enjoy their wealth without the guilt and build relationships richer than their bank accounts.

—

Let’s jump on a discovery call and get to know each other. Find all things Charla at CharlaAnderson.com/links.

On The Charla Anderson Show, We discuss Mindset, How much Your WORDS matter, Princess to Queen energy, mantras, HOPE, Faith, Miracles, Overcoming, and much, much more, including learning from amazing guests.

Everything Charla: https://CharlaAnderson.com/links/

All replays are on my website, https://CharlaAnderson.com/tv-shows/

Build your own website with amazing support: https://CoursePlatformAcademy.com/cpacharla/

Nutrition, Energy, Health, Vitality, Focus, Collagen, Brain Health: https://www.Zurvita.com/charla/en/us/

CBD: https://www.ZBlendsHemp.com/charla/en/us/

Charla@CharlaAnderson.com

NOTE: Some links may provide a small Commission to Charla Anderson, if purchased.